I am applying to boarding schools this year and its really hard to find school that aren’t in the top 20-30. I am looking for a school with a tight community and lots of school spirit.
Then you might want to search all the “hidden gem” threads on the BS forums. 
What else are you interested in and why are you considering boarding school? A consider a school a hidden gem if it’s a great fit for you, even if it’s lesser known. I would consider all of the schools we are looking at “hidden gems” as they are rarely discussed on CC.
Did you look at St Mark’s School? Very tight knit small school! I agree with others to look at the “hidden gem” threads. I’ve also heard NMH and Mercersberg have similar qualities but I can only speak from what I’ve read and our personal experience.
The Quaker schools (Westtown and George ) are known for their welcoming, inclusive, and tight knit communities.
Even these two are different from each other so I agree with others that you might get better guidance if you told us a little more about what other things you’re looking for.
NMH, also known as Northfield Mount Hermon–along with their sister school, Deerfield Mount Hermon*–St. Mark’s, Middlesex, Mercersburg, Peddie, Blair, St. Andrew’s, Kent, Taft, and others are really very high up the boarding school food chain. You have to work hard to get out of any top 30 you would possibly list. It’s def possible, but the gems aren’t hidden, just ignored. That’s racing.
*Deerfield Mount Hermon is not an actual school. Deerfield is a school. Northfield Mount Hermon is a schoool. Until Deerfield and NMH fight Highlander-style until there can be only one, Deerfield Mount Hermon does not exist.
If you want to find schools try searching on boarding school review of the google machine for boarding schools by state. That way you can get a feel for what’s where and how they rank for you.
Unless I am missing something, most of the hidden gem threads have been quiet for quite some time - most posts are from 2014 with a few from 2016. I think we might want to consider opening a new hidden gem thread. The old threads were also often misleading as people’s idea of hidden was all over the place. Maybe a new thread just for schools with acceptance rates above 25%? Many people looking for hidden gems are actually just looking for more forgiving acceptance rates imho.
^ I wouldn’t limit it to acceptance rates…only because there are some not so popular schools that are small and have a lower acceptance rate, but also have a lower application amount…so some of the kids with really great scores who may be one I need a mil at GLADCHEMMS, will be really noticed there…just a thought…but starting a newer thread is a great idea! Go for it @chemmchimney !
I would like to point out that when you search stats for those schools at one of the boarding school review sites, the average numbers are just that, average.
For example, Grier School’s average SAT score is unimpressive 1280. Yet majority of my daughter’s close friends there got 1500+. She says the average score doesn’t mean anything. There are academic kids and none academic kids. Pre-dance kids are aiming for dance companies rather than colleges. Some kids don’t care about studying, etc. But they are neither her close friends nor taking the same classes with her.
Obviously Grier probably has a lot fewer of very high performing students than, say, Exeter. But for individual students, only your close friends and classmates matter. You are likely to have similar kids for both. At least daughter says so many of her friends are freakish smart, hard working and kind, not to mention that they like sci-fi and astrophysics.
And here’s another facet to SculptorDad’s post.
Lizardkid is currently in a school where there are 12 kids in his grade. Of the 6 boys, 4 are gifted. He is looking for a more neurodiverse setting for secondary school, as he has decided this has not always been the best environment for him. One of the smaller (hidden gems) schools we visited mentioned this. One of the faculty members was talking about leaving one of the “top” schools because of the environment of overachieving. He felt that even though the school had a stellar reputation, they were hyper-focusing on academic achievement and resume building activities rather than the “whole child”. He felt this was not necessarily because of the school structure, but because of the students and parents that were drawn to that school were constantly seeking “more”. He also mentioned the high number of students that were out on medical leave by the end of the first semester for anxiety. He found a lot of value in neurodiverse communities ( and let’s face it, even a kid that scores in the 60th percentile on the SSAT is doing pretty well as it is a self-selected population that takes that test).
To @vwlizard 's point, there is great value in learning that people have different gifts and that intelligence takes different forms.
It can become easy to dismiss people whom you do not see as super-smart in a certain academic way, particularly when in an environment that reinforces that, and ime, it is an easy way to become a jerk and, worse, to miss out on some amazing people and interactions!
@vwlizard I can’t remember where you are looking, but keep Mercersburg Academy in mind. Not only does the school really try to focus on what is best for adolescents, but there is room for a reasonably broad spectrum of academic abilities (albeit still within the narrow range of students who are able to survive and thrive in a challenging high school and who want to do so).
Mercersburg looks incredible, but with so many schools within a couple of hours of our home, it’s just too far to consider.
@twinsmama knows of what she speaks. Her kiddos are THRIVING. 
@hellomaisy could say the same about her son! Between us, we have a random sample of three students who have really found their own voices thanks to a great boarding school experience.
^^And this is what getting it right looks like. Kids who are confident not because they think they are better than others but who are comfortable in their skin.
In addition, being better, or being perceived as better than others can actually promote self-insecurity. More so with teenage psychology.
I would add St. Andrew’s School in Delaware to your search for “Hidden Gems.” Great education, a variety of socio-economic and academic abilities (the latter within a fairly narrow range as already mentioned for other excellent schools), sports, arts and myriad leadership opportunities. Hidden Gem’s are not “safety” schools and can be quite selective. Cast a wide net and find a great fit : )