Since 7-8th grade or so, I’ve started developing extreme anxiety related to my schoolwork. As a freshman this year, this has gotten only worse, and I find myself having panic attacks every night. My sleep schedule is flipped, and I’ve essentially become nocturnal: napping after school then working through the night, and crashing on the weekends. I am constantly stressed and depressed. I think the majority of all this comes from my worries about college; I am already regretful at my grades last year, and first quarter was a struggle trying to maintain my grades. This quarter has been absolutely horrible; I did extremely poorly on my Algebra 2 midterm, and overall the class itself, which I dedicate a great deal of effort to working on. I seem to have a great obsession with getting into a good college; at the same time, I know it won’t happen with my grades and panicking, not to mention that I don’t have much on the side to help me. Most of my teachers and friends have all pointed out their concerns with my stress, but since it’s all internal, they aren’t able to do anything to help.
The worst part is that tomorrow is the last full day of the quarter, when everything needs to be turned in for every class. Today I got very sick, and tomorrow I will not be able to go to school. I have to redo assignments from P.E. (for a day when I wasn’t feeling well and got a lower score on my mile) and review a few Spanish assignments with my teacher before submitting. I know I won’t be able to go tomorrow, which means all these assignments will remain missing in my grade book, and drag my grades down even further. Considering that these are my easiest classes, I have all but given up, since I needed the boost they would give my GPA.
I have absolutely no idea what to do and/or how to let go of my obsession over getting into a good school. Neither my parents nor I can handle much more of this, and I could really use some advice.
First thing: take a deep breath. High school is stressful and thinking about college doesn’t help. If I’m reading correctly, you’re a freshman. If so, know that you still have time to bring your GPA up. I was in your shoes my freshman year. I would fall asleep right after school, be up all night, and do absolutely nothing on the weekends. Not to mention, I’ve had senioritis since freshman year so my GPA wasn’t the best it could be. Here’s my advice to you based on what I did:
Realize that one grade isn’t going to kill you. It sounds hard but remember that you can still bring up a GPA. You might decide to take summer classes where you have more free time you can devote to a class. As I said before, my grades weren’t the best freshman and sophomore years, but I worked my behind off junior year to get straight A’s. My college advisor says that colleges like to see an upwards trend in terms of grades.
Talk to people. I know you said your teachers and friends can’t do anything to help, but sometimes just listening is all you need. Find a trusted teacher or GC and talk to them about what’s stressing you. Ask them for any advice or what they would do in the situation. Consider finding some type of college advisement program. Applying to college is often a daunting task, but it’s easier with an advisor or friend. I help my friends out all the time if they need advice about applying to college. I’m in CollegePoint and my advisor has been extremely helpful in my college search and application process. If I ever have a problem, I know there are people I can go to for help. Sometimes just venting to a friend makes me feel ten times better.
Get active. I don’t necessarily mean this in a fitness type of way, although you could take it that way, but I’m talking about an EC context. Junior year was when I really got involved in my school and community. Now that I’m a senior, my experiences and activities are what helps me stand out. Adding a lot to your plate may not help with your sleep schedule, but it will give you something fun to look forward to and could even get you into a good school.
This is really long, but I hope it helps. Don’t think getting into a good college is something you should let go or give up on. Think of it as adjusting direction. There are plenty of great colleges out there and I’m sure there’s one that will happily accept you.