High school teacher tells graduating students: you’re not special

<p>I don’t know. My understanding is that a lot of parents that live in Wellesley send their kids to private schools. So maybe the kids at Wellesley High aren’t that special.</p>

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<p>If he made that speech at my urban public magnet where most kids were working/lower-middle class kids like myself…the parents and the alumni association would take great umbrage and campaign to get the offending teacher fired or at least…put on notice that his behavior is tone deaf considering the socio-economic contexts of most students. </p>

<p>That…and some of the students/recent alums may be tempted to play practical jokes on him using a mixture of strong STEM and English/humanities education they were given there to make their point clear. </p>

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<p>I’m not sure I’d agree considering good music is very subjective IME. What may be considered good singing to one individual may be horrid to another. </p>

<p>Someone who uses classical musical metrics may not understand that in some other genres…singing well by classical standards makes him/her horribly unfit to sing in other genres…like certain genres of rock. My great-uncle and most of my more Westernized side of my extended family loves classical music…including opera. On the other hand, some relatives on the other side of the family have a deep antipathy towards opera. </p>

<p>I myself went through a strong anti-classical musical phase precisely because most of the fans I’ve encountered in K-12…including those in my own family tended to be such such pretentious narrow-minded snobs. </p>

<p>It was only after I went to my LAC with a topflight conservatory and met actual classical musicians who were actually much more open-minded about what constituted good music/musical talent that I started to learn to enjoy some classical music despite having to deal with the pretentious snobby jerky fans. </p>

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<p>As someone who is Asian-American and attended high school with many parents like the “Chinese dad” above…including plenty who weren’t Chinese/Asian-American…a lot of kids end up facing the opposite problem. </p>

<p>Know many HS classmates/colleagues who are currently in therapy despite having attended topflight colleges…including HYPSMC for undergrad and grad/professional schools and having established excellent careers in fields such as medicine because they had serious issues with whether anything they did was “ever good enough” for their jerky never-satisfied parents and/or they were pushed into majors/career paths that they hated because their parents thought “they’d be good at it and it leads to a secure steady career”. </p>

<p>The latter is one neverending complaint of someone I’ve dated within the last few years. </p>

<p>On the other hand…because I was in the bottom half of my HS class and the HS classmates thought I wouldn’t amount to much…didn’t have to deal with the same degree of that BS pressure. </p>

<p>Sometimes…the W approach of excessively diminished expectations can work to one’s great advantage later in life. :D</p>

<p>My dad works as a cop in Wellesley.</p>

<p>Spot on about the kids there. Made me giggle quite a bit. True that a lot of the kids DO go to private school, but the kids at the public school aren’t slouches. Just slightly more spoiled than the average teenager.</p>

<p>I don’t know about other kids, but my kids are are really special to me. Just saying.</p>

<p>When I was a junior in h.s. our honors chem. class teacher announced
(in all seriousness) on the first day that in his twenty years of teaching he had only taught one student who was truly exceptional and he doubted that any of us in the class would measure up.Guess he didn’t want any of us to get overly optimistic about our chances in his class.</p>

<p>Sorry folks, but I just don’t get the praise-this is NOT a great speech.
First, I find it risible that while admitting that he’s done all the things he’s criticizing, he still feels obliged to give people advice.
Second, having seen the speaker’s photo, it’s clear that he’s a very late baby-boomer, but most likely post baby boom. Went to college, got a good gig teaching at a well-funded public school, and probably never had to worry a day about being hungry or cold or homeless. Yes, just the kind of self-important person I want lecturing HS students, so that he can clue them into what life is all about, and let them know that he has the wisdom to deflate their overly-developed sense of self-importance. Huh? Why, exactly, is he entitled to do this-after all, he’s perpetuated the system he’s attacking.
Third, the speech is a total cop-out. After foisting his pearls of wisdom on his captive audience, he closes as follows:</p>

<p>But near the end of the address he says, “The sweetest joys of life, then, come only with the recognition that you’re not special. Because everyone is.”</p>

<p>Which, of course, makes no sense at all; if you’re not special, everyone can’t be special, because, er, you’re part of everyone.</p>

<p>The speech was clearly designed for forums like these, where we can presented story after story of over-entitled youth; frankly, the speaker probably has had a pretty soft life, so puh-leeze, spare me the phoney-baloney philosophizing.</p>

<p>The speech is nothing more than pandering to those who think that all succeeding generations have had it easy. Looking at the above posts, there are quite a few who think this way. This isn’t Mother Theresa or Nelson Mandela-this is a guy who flat out contradicts himself at the end of his well-fed, well-clothed, well-coifed diatribe.</p>

<p>In 2010, there were 68 other districts in MA that spent more per pupil than Wellesley did. This is out of a total of 369. So they are barely in the top 20% in the state.</p>

<p>[2010</a> Per Pupil Expenditures Report - Massachusetts Directory Profiles](<a href=“404 - Page Not Found”>404 - Page Not Found)</p>

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Norfolk County is the wealthiest in Massachusetts, with a median family income of $77,847 (28th wealthiest county in the United States), and Wellesley itself is the 7th wealthiest municipality in Massachusetts, with a median family income of $134,769. The town has the second greatest congregation of advanced degree holders in the country. Only 3.8% are under the poverty line, and 85% are white.</p>

<p>“Yes, just the kind of self-important person I want lecturing HS students, so that he can clue them into what life is all about, and let them know that he has the wisdom to deflate their overly-developed sense of self-importance.”</p>

<p>I’m in the minority with you, crankyoldman. This guy sounds like a jerk who probably thinks he should have been a college professor and not wasting his time with these kids. I’m sick of these speeches where people tell the kids who they are and what they should do. There is a way to get your point across without being so rude and full of yourself, giving useful advice along the way.</p>

<p>I guarantee you that many of these kids have struggled with loss, neglect, abuse, sacrifice and self doubt. Just because they live in a wealthy district does not mean they don’t have obstacles to overcome. Generalizing judgmental comments about everyone is ridiculous. They don’t tell everyone in high school that they are “special” and give them awards for participation. That is grammar school, long gone, and a high performing high school has the competition of top performers making those who would normally be considered of exceptional talent, just average. These kids are being turned out into a different world than we were, not necessarily an easier world, but one with different stresses and worries.</p>

<p>I am so annoyed by condescending jerks.</p>

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<p>This is incorrect or otherwise poor wording.</p>

<p>I don’t think most such speeches can withstand scrutiny or analysis. That he hit a chord with his audience and they liked it made is a successful speech. THat it is getting this attention make it “special”. </p>

<p>I don’t agree with it. The whole definition of “special” to me is exactly what privileged children are. Just by the virtue of their birth, they are treated very well. So, yes, these kids are special and hopefully they can do special things in accordance with the special treatment they have gotten.</p>

<p>Busdriver, I agree with you. This guy comes off as an arrogant guy who thinks he is special. Thinks his pension that exceeds what the private sector gives is due to his being special.</p>

<p>I would never say anything in public like this referring to my clients. But I dont have the job security that “public servants” do.</p>

<p>Count me with crankyoldman, busdriver, and kayf. I wouldn’t normally comment without having read the entire speech, but I keep getting the “509 Bandwidth Limit Exceeded” error message.</p>

<p>On the one hand, I would imagine that there are some students who engage in what look like altruistic efforts chiefly with an eye to the resume. On the other hand, I would also imagine that they do learn something in the course of their work, and they might provide some marginal benefit to the people they are intending to serve.</p>

<p>Beyond that, I think it is easy to imagine that, in families that are relatively well off, the children have inflated senses of self-worth and entitlement. I have on occasion observed or read that about a very small number of the children of a few of the super-rich. </p>

<p>However, I think that in families that are upper middle-class, the prevailing sense is really quite different. Many of the students are probably worried, in fact, about how they will “make it.” And I would guess that the last time they bought into the reassurances that they are all “special” was when they were about 7 years old.</p>

<p>There appears to have been some good advice in the speech, which I hope I can access at some point.</p>

<p>However, I really think that graduation is a time for celebration and encouragement. Reflection is good, but in a graduation speech, it ought to be reflection that inspires, rather than reflection that depresses. Perhaps when I read the whole speech, it will seem better to me.</p>

<p>This guy needs to come to my school.</p>

<p>I’m cynical, I agree!</p>

<p>I am personally insulted by his insults toward “Americans.” American’s do so much more for this world than any other country in this world. No other country does as much giving, charitable work, ANYTHING, than the US. Honestly, I would rather see us do LESS for everyone else and a little more for ourselves. The self-esteem in this country about our country as a whole is in the gutter, despite the fact that we are an amazing group of people. Look where we were a few hundred years ago. Then look where the rest of the world was. Who has come the furthest? Who will be there offering aid at the next Tsunami? or other disaster that hurts and kills across the world? It will be us. But who runs to our aid when we have a problem? No one. We are on our own. Fine. But I would like to see us stop thinking poorly of ourselves and stop doing so much to “win over” the love of others or “compensate” for what we see as our terribleness (is that even a word?). Seriously, if a PERSON ran their life how the USA runs things…giving of themselves so much, doing so little for herself/himself, feeling like they can never do enough for others, then not doing enough to maintain himself/herself…what would we all say? That person would clearly need therapy and help to overcome this problem. But in the US…it is a way of life.</p>

<p>SO…basically, I am saying, I have a hard time with anyone who makes comments about American kids or Americans in general being spoiled, or coddled, or otherwise.</p>

<p>“Beyond that, I think it is easy to imagine that, in families that are relatively well off, the children have inflated senses of self-worth and entitlement. I have on occasion observed or read that about a very small number of the children of a few of the super-rich.”</p>

<p>You’re right, it is easy to imagine that, but it is not necessarily reality. The kids of the super rich do not always turn out like Paris Hilton or the Kardashians. There are a healthy number of mega-millionaire or billionaire families at my kids school. As far as I can see, the majority of them are kind, caring, low key, and extremely nice. You wouldn’t know their financial status if they didn’t have a famous last name, or if you hadn’t been to their house. A number of the super wealthy kids we have known over the years have suffered through illness, divorce, death and failure. If they have inflated senses of self-worth and entitlement, they sure hide it well.</p>

<p>It did annoy me when a full TWO THIRDS of my son’s 7th grade class was on the honor roll. Some honor!</p>

<p>Yes, I agree, busdriver11. By saying it was easy to imagine, I meant to imply that people may guess that children from wealthy families have an inflated sense of self worth, but their guesses are probably not based in reality. </p>

<p>In any event, from my experience base (not including many of the really rich), I don’t think that the “inflated sense of self-worth” idea applies much at all to the upper middle class–which is probably the sort of area where McCullough teaches.</p>

<p>I can only speak for myself. Growing up in a large single income family full of the typical challenges, we definitely did not feel special. I am sure I have spoiled my daughter by giving her all the encouragement and opportunities I did not have. As a result she is far more accomplished then I was at her age. I always make sure to remind her to keep her feet on the ground. Is this a bad thing?</p>