<p>I agree with ClassicRockerDad. This was not the time to ‘stick it to the kids’. Who is this speaker to look at a room full of kids and determine that they are not special?! They are all special to someone, and this was a very special moment to them and to their families. There were kids out there who overcame obstacles, were the 1st in their family to graduate, are struggling with health issues, etc…many, many special stories. They are special, but I agree with other posters that special doesn’t mean better. But special does mean that each person has something to offer that is somehow unique and they should be encouraged to use that in a positive way. The ‘you are not special’ message was arrogant and uninspiring.</p>
<p>OMG–The speaker was using SARCASM! You cannot pick apart a speech without using context. The guy didn’t write it in a vacuum. He didn’t write it for all HS graduates nationwide. He wrote it specifically for those students who were graduating from the school he works at. If you look him up, you will see he is a favorite teacher among the students. He is praised for being engaging and getting the kids to think. He also has a reputation for being hilarious. if you watch the speech, you will hear laughter ( no one crying that their self esteem has been hurt).</p>
<p>If you really think his speech was mean spirited, well… I’m sad for you.</p>
<p>Sarcasm: (per Merriam-Webster) a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain.
You got that right; and how wonderfully arrogant of you to be “sad” for those of us who disagree with you.</p>
<p>"The sweetest joys of life, then, come only with the recognition that youre not special.</p>
<p>Because everyone is.</p>
<p>Congratulations. Good luck. Make for yourselves, please, for your sake and for ours, extraordinary lives."</p>
<p>To those of you getting down on this guy, please note the end of his speech. He actually did say they are special as is every human being.</p>
<p>Crakyoldman – were you the guy handing out the soccer trophies to ALL the kids just because they showed up?</p>
<p>I think my kids are incredibly special, I told them that all their lives. They have done really well so far.</p>
<p>This reminds me of a Mad Men episode, where Dan Draper refuses to spank his kid, saying having grown up with that type of <em>motivation</em> only made him want to murder his dad. Good bye and good riddance to that era of behavior modification.</p>
<p>Lima-good to see that you didn’t bother to read my posts; it’s consistent with your less than well thought out analysis.</p>
<p>Sorry Cranky- the loud violin playing made it hard to read your posts alL the way through. I’ll get my tissues and try to make my way through.</p>
<p>Hmmm… Ever thought about why you chose the name Cranky Old Man for yourself?</p>
<p>I don’t think he’s special either.</p>
<p>It’s a family name.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>No, I don’t know. For example, only after graduation did I discover one of my friends had to deal with two unemployed parents for his Junior year. But I don’t think most of them had to suffer with any major problems that would prevent simply being able to graduate from high school. I don’t want to knock on people who actually do have problems, but I know that people all over have to deal with the same problems, only with less resources. I don’t think that makes people special. And those problems clearly weren’t what my school’s graduation was addressing. </p>
<p>And I know that money doesn’t solve all problems, but having the privilege of being able to travel has made me very unsympathetic to the problems of the rich. I’m in China visiting family right now, and I am constantly surrounded everyday by people who literally have a fraction of what me and many of my friends do. Also, pre-college exams have just ended here, and I’m sure even the laziest students here are still harder working than 80% of the students at my school, including myself. College exams are incredibly tough here, and there’s pressure to do well on them, a lot of which I think is excessive. Instead, at my school, people waste their time partying and then get to go on a whim to a $40k/colleges with mediocre academics and never realize how good they have it. Maybe they have problems I don’t know about. But so do everyone else, and like I say, those people can deal with it without being able to have their parents easily drop huge checks for therapy. I think it can be incredibly admirable dealing with problems, but it doesn’t make people special.</p>
<p>So no, I can’t speak for everyone. But having a few exceptions doesn’t make my point invalid.</p>
<p>Also, have you watched the Incredibles? If having problems makes you special, than everybody would be special. And when everybody is special, nobody is.</p>
<p>I have to disagree with those that don’t like the speech. Much of his advice seems to apply even to those suffering from many obstacles. I’ve found that the humility he’s asking for as well as the message about how you should pursue activities for your own personal benefit instead of just to have something to use as a way to compare yourself with everyone else is beneficial to many of my peers who’ve faced hardship.
I don’t think feeling “special” has gotten anyone anywhere. The sense of entitlement that is so often instilled in our youth breeds a lot of complacency in my generation. </p>
<p>As sassy as this guy is (I can’t think of a better word), his overall message is positive and meant to give students a sense of reality. </p>
<p>I have to be frank and say this message resonates with me because I used to be the type that felt entitled, but I’ve pretty much grown out of it. I find that high school is too easy to get through. I went to an urban school in a rough post-industrial town and not one of those pampered rich kid public schools just outside of Boston. It bothers me when when everyone says “congratulations so proud of you!” to rather average high school graduates when the education system is such that it’s really easy to get through high school. Except for the medals that are given to the top 3 male and female students at my school, I find that indeed, many honors have become diluted. Grade inflation is rampant. At my graduation a few days ago it seemed like 70% of my students were named as graduating with a 90+ average, which is heavily weighted. As a result, many have to false impression that they are doing well! The outside world is much harsher and I think the speaker is partially trying to explain that as well. </p>
<p>All in all, it’s a positive message. I’ve already worked to live by it. He still encourages his audience to dream big and work hard. He makes the point that dedication as opposed to entitlement is what gets you to your goals while reminding us to pursue goals for the right reasons. Ultimately I think his message transcends social and economic barriers.</p>
<p>busdriver11 beat me to commending the posts by crankyoldman (particularly #86 and #96) and by ClassicRockerDad (#91).</p>
<p>I spent the day with relatives. At one point, we talked about an old friend of the family, two generations up. She went to Nanjing sometime after WW I to work at Drum Tower Hospital. In 1937 she was still there. Although she was encouraged to evacuate back to the US during the Rape of Nanjing, instead she stayed to protect as many people as she could. She was among those awarded the Order of the Purple Jade by the Chinese Government.</p>
<p>14 people were given that honor, due to their work in Nanjing in that era alone, I believe–and I have no idea what the total number is. So in one sense, she is <em>hardly</em> special.</p>
<p>My generation did not know about this part of her history until 25+ years after she had died. </p>
<p>By what means would we develop and encourage a young person in our midst, who might become similarly heroic? In this regard, I doubt that a high school graduation speech has much impact, compared with many other, truly effective influences. On the other hand, I can’t feel that mocking the group of graduates would be helpful.</p>
<p>I can take a joke. I enjoy the jesters at Renaissance Faires, when they are poking fun directly at me and my family. I just don’t think that high school graduation needs to be an occasion for satirical stand-up comedy.</p>
<p>As mentioned before, I thought that the latter part of the speech was good, though I still doubt that some of the cautions in that part were actually needed.</p>
<p>Oh, and let me offer some extra tissues to limabeans01.</p>
<p>Just to clarify, I should add that the person I mentioned in #113 was not pulled out of China by the US until 1941.</p>
<p>Random thoughts that occured to me as I was wiping down the kitchen floor:</p>
<p>There seem to be two completely different assumed definitions of “special” that are causing most of the disagreement on this thread.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Surpassing what is common or usual; exceptional; distinct among others of a kind.</p></li>
<li><p>Regarded with particular admiration and affection.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Most of us would agree that our kids are special to us. We regard our own children with particular affection. We would be upset at any person who would denigrate them.</p>
<p>However, most of our newly minted high school graduates are not special in the sense of them being, by virtue of their birth and unique genetic and nurtured qualities and 18 years of learning, particularly unique or exceptionally distinct from the thousands of other newly minted graduates.</p>
<p>And, while my kids’ grandparents may believe that they are the greatest kids of their generation, in all honesty, at age 18 they only have potential. They are special to our family, but not to the world outside our front door. </p>
<p>The most unsufferable kids I have ever known are the ones who are convinced of their own specialness. The one whose parents were convinced that S2, a good but not great athlete, would be following his extremely talented brother to DI athletics. They created a ball hogging, spotlight seeking, teammate undermining, ultimately miserable teenager. Their belief in his “specialness” did him no good, and undermined his growth as an athlete. The problem was not that his parents loved and admired him, but that they believed that he was ALREADY a special athlete, and convinced him that he ALREADY deserved special treatment by the rest of the team and coaches. His team mates couldn’t stand him. In high school he had potential to become special, but his actions as a result of him believing that he was already special blew up in his face. He felt he was too good for the D3 schools that were interested in him, the D1 schools he wanted to play for were not interested in him. He spent the latter part of his senior year telling his classmates that he intended to “walk on” at the D1 university he would be attending the following year. He never played his sport again after high school. Had he been less convinced of his own “specialness” his college experience might have been different. </p>
<p>The world could use fewer people convinced of their own “specialness”.</p>
<p>My problem with the speaker is that he seemed to dislike the kids a lot.</p>
<p>OK folks, I recommend that you watch the entire video (not read it – it is far more powerful when you watch it):</p>
<p>[David</a> McCullough at Wellesley Commencement: ?You Are Not Special? (Video) - The Daily Beast](<a href=“David McCullough at Wellesley Commencement: ‘You Are Not Special’ (Video)”>David McCullough at Wellesley Commencement: ‘You Are Not Special’ (Video))</p>
<p>One message he’s giving these kids is an old thought which I think originates from Zen philosophy, and that is that (and I’m paraphrasing), “Until you realize that you are insignificant, you can’t be significant.”</p>
<p>In addition, he’s telling the kids to stop trying to achieve things simply to add them to their list, and to actually do things to help other people, and to do things because they’re passionate about what they do.</p>
<p>Here’s one of his comments that is particularly relevant to this forum:</p>
<p>“As a consequence, we cheapen worthy endeavors, and building a Guatemalan medical clinic becomes more about the application to Bowdoin than the well-being of Guatemalans.”</p>
<p>^^^Boondocks, my thoughts exactly. It comes accross very differently if you hear it for the first time than if you read it. I’m not sure if that will be true if you listen after reading it. Missypie, did you read or view this and think he disliked kids? Just wondering.</p>
<p>If you watch it, you’ll notice that the kids are laughing at many of McCullough’s comments - the same comments that the media has snipped out of context and used to make him sound like he’s telling the kids that they are all spoiled brats (which is not his point at all).</p>