We haven’t bought gifts for many years for extended family and for our kids and SO we do stockings. We take a trip instead. I have plenty as do my kids and prefer to buy gifts for our local giving tree and food pantries. Honestly, it’s a good feeling and makes the holiday season less stressful and more joyful.
Now, if I had grandkids, things would be different, lol.
I was listening to a podcast yesterday and I heard something I thought was a good idea. If your family makes lists they need to be done by Thanksgiving. That way you don’t get any last minute no I don’t really want that after you’ve already bought r frantically search for something in late December. I’d think it would work best for younger children but I’m going to think about using the idea next year with my family.
We don’t buy for our siblings or nieces and nephews. We did buy for the kids when they were younger but I think everyone is happy we stopped. My husband has a December birthday and the kids always want to get him something but he truly doesn’t want anything. The only gift he likes is a bag of tortilla chips and salsa and candy.
I agree and support this and that is usually when my “kids” will send me a list. Which is why I never really understand how/why (?) people are doing holiday shopping in September/October and are finished by November 1!
If it works for you fine, but I am really attached to the idea of getting my people things I they really want/need not things I think they should want/need!
I keep a running list on my phone throughout the year because someone will say something about wanting or liking something, so I make notes and then revisit when I’m ready to shop.
Fahlo-Tracking-Bracelet-Elastic-supports/dp/B09ZPCF5YK/ref=sr_1_5?crid=3QNV0MSMBZ4HK&keywords=shark+bracelet&qid=1669743418&sprefix=%2Caps%2C96&sr=8-5
I found these bracelets yesterday, which gives a donation to a support group and you get to follow ‘your’ shark (polar bear, elephant, penguin, sea turtle) on the internet.
From the comments, the fun is in following your animal. I’m thinking of getting a bunch for the 20-somethings in my life.
My niece introduced us to a card game from Canada called (I think) Spot it. It was small as a deck of cards and it is a matching game. Very fun.
Edit: Spot it game on sale at Target and Macy’s Spot It! Party Game : Target
I’d just as soon our kids did not do lists any more and said so a few years ago, but D keeps sending lists.
We gave a family membership gift to D and SiL to use during holiday events this year. Other presents are minimal with one toy, one book and one outfit for each GD to open at their house, and we’ll add to the accounts we set up for each one. D and SiL will also receive one small item and one small consumable each which I’d already bought before receiving D’s list.
We gave some bigger gifts during the year of things D said she wanted for the GDs and it seemed silly to wait when good weather was needed to enjoy them. I expect D will be disappointed, even though she has frequently commented about how overwhelmed they are by stuff that crowds every room and closet in their home. She complains about all the things that her MiL gives them, but SiL won’t say no to his mother and neither will D, so it piles up.
Last night I found a couple of things for S and DiL’s upcoming trip, but our main gift to them is money so that’s easy.
Potted plants and consumables are the usual gifts for relatives and friends. Timing of deliveries is tougher this year because of various travel schedules. I’m tempted to send cards mentioning that we’re switching to 12th Night/Epiphany gifts instead this year, then I’ll order King Cakes for all.
If anyone needs makeup that rarely goes on sale, like Sisley, Saks has 15% off sale through the EOD today.
I know it’s a total PIA, but if you can, I might consider returning the gifts you got for the adults and opening a 529 (or something similar) for the grandchild. If my kids have kids and they have too much stuff, I’m likely to buy small gifts and put money away for college.
That said, my mom made it clear to me that college was MY job and she was going to spoil my kids with stuff.
I’ve gotten DD’17 an iPad and Apple Pencil for doing art @ about $800. DD’19 is aware and said it didn’t matter if she got anything big, she really couldn’t think of anything expensive. Well, we have bought a spare tire kit for her Jeep @ $350 so that will probably be a present 
along with other things. Last year DD’17 got a set of tires for her car and it was much appreciated.
We’ve been making payments on DD’19’s Jeep so actually now that she is full time employed she’s getting a car loan & insurance payment for Christmas 
And they will each get a huge pack of Charmin. A tradition that started Christmas 2019 and was pretty prescient because we didn’t know at the time how valuable that TP would become.
Other than that, I always get them an ornament, preferably that has something to do with their current likes or recent experiences. And clothes and misc. This year DD’19 wants “cottagecore” dresses.
Need to think of things for the boyfriends.
@deb922 Do they buy you gifts at all? You said they may be wanting to get out of the gift giving. Have they said before they don’t want gifts or is this new? Maybe tell them that you’ve already bought some things for them(before returning)and would like to give them to them, but will return if they feel strongly about it. And keep the gifting to grandchildren going forward. Or ask if they have any requests before buying, since they are not using some of the things you’ve given them(that sometimes does happen , has happened to me too).
I give lots of consumables or things like restaurant certificates these days, in addition to what has been asked for. Younger son requested a new scratching post for his cat, some Hanes underwear, and a couple Bombas socks! Done. I’m adding in a gift certificate for a deli near his workplace, a tin of Italian cookies from the place he went recently for a wedding, and a Mike’s Hot honey tote, so he gets some things he hasn’t expected. Not tons of stuff but hope he’ll be happy with what he’s receiving. Very sorry about the frustration you’re feeling.
Except for getting something for a friend that watches our house when we go out of town, I’ve finished my holiday shopping a couple of hours ago. Yippee!
I caused a bit of drama with son when I told him that telling us after thanksgiving that you don’t want to exchange gifts is a little late. His sister had already bought them gifts and asked him to go in on a gift for us, the parents. He said no.
Son did not react well.
I understand that they are overwhelmed with being new parents. And I do understand that shopping is difficult.
Son is not a good communicator and then is upset that he and his wife are out of the loop.
I think I will buy a small toy for the baby and write a check for her college fund. They can do what they want with the money.
I love your Charmin story and wow, INSIGHT into what was to come! Yikes.
This is going to be the first year I’m not getting an ornament for each of my 3 kids. D1 does have all her ornaments and uses them on her tree in her and her BF’s house. S is married and he and his wife do a tree that is more “styled” - you know, all gold bulbs or red or whatever - as opposed to random ornaments - so his ornaments are still at our house. D2’s ornaments also are still at our house as she has a roommate and they also do a “them” tree - more styled with random ornaments NOT from growing up.
I’ll box up their ornaments of course and they can take them. But I sort of feel like unless something really catches my eye it’s silly to keep an ornament being a “required” on my shopping list for them.
Also @bjscheel what is CottageCore dresses??
Cottagecore is gingham, florals, smocked tops, square necks, puff sleeves, romantic/vintage/country. For some, maybe even more medieval looking? This is her ultimate dress:
https://www.amazon.com/ZESICA-Womens-Bohemian-Summer-LightBlue/dp/B09PG2BSBV?ref_=ast_sto_dp&th=1&psc=1
The ornaments are almost all still at my house, but DD’19 took a couple that seemed sturdy last weekend. But her cat still broke them the first night!
I remember a friend from hs had a ‘perfect’ tree in the livingroom window. I think it was all red and gold balls, all perfectly placed. that you could see from the street. Then in the back family room, there was the family tree with all the homemade/school made ornaments. It was of course very cute.
My SisIL likes doing a gorgeous stylized tree with a color theme and lots of beautiful ribbons and ornaments in the theme. It looks like something from a decorating magazine—very glamorous.
My younger bro & older sis each put up multiple trees. One sis still gets a huge live tree and invites her friends (but not family) to come to her home one night to help decorate it in a big party.
I ended of getting my H a Yeti Roadie hard cooler to use on all of the ski/roadtrips that we take. We were looking at the Yeti’s in a sporting store in Durango on our road trip in September and H said we should look at getting one. H never wants anything for Christmas and I thought this would be a nice surprise for him.
We love our Roadie and use it all the time! It’s incredible how well insulated it is and how cold everything stays.
@momofboiler1 thank you for letting me know!
Excellent choice. 
GREAT gift!! We do several football tailgates a year and they are awesome - you will love this for your road trips.