Homeschool=Play All Day??

Pre-College Issues Home Schooling and College
1

<p>i'm an 8th grade homeschooler, and i stay at my parent's education center all day. in the morning, when there are no kids, my dad and two other people stay there with me. these two people (a father and a mother)are around my parent's age, and they have a daughter my age and a son who is a year younger. </p>

<p>the father, who really stresses me with his cigarette smell and sarcastic comments, for some weird reason, kept saying things like 'you should be so happy that you don't have to go to school', etc. he said the same thing twice, and on the latter one he added 'my daughter went to school today...'
and while i was posting on a forum, he came in for no reason at all to say 'wow, i see you are studying very hard'.</p>

<p>to many people, being homeschooled doesn't seem much like a decent 'education', if you know what i mean. as an 8th grader i am doing precalculus and trignometry, while his daughter is doing algebra1 (i finished algebra1, geometry, and algebra 2 in less than a single school year and a summer). the last time i took the S.A.T. i got 1850 (for practice tests i get 2000ish because i am more calm then), while his daughter can't even write a single paragraph without grammar errors. </p>

<p>To him it appears as if i don't study- mostly because i spend a lot of time online. (all his kids do online is games)</p>

<p>homeschool students &mothers out there, HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH THIS KIND OF PEOPLE?????</p>

2

<p>Don't worry about what other people are saying. It will only bother you if you let it get to you. Don't let them get the satisfaction of thinking they are getting to you.</p>

3

<p>Don't be defensive; you want to end the conversation, not get into a debate about the merits of homeschooling or the specifics of what you are doing. Come up with a stock response like "My studies are going well, thanks." You might talk to your dad and see what his take on the situation is and what suggestions he has.</p>

<p>You can't avoid boorish people in your life. Just think of learning to handle him while keeping your cool is part of your education. :)</p>

4

<p>i just murmured 'okay...' for the first sarcastic comment and said nothing for the second.</p>

5

<p>I agree with DianeR if you aren't going to have to deal with him in the future. And talking with your parents sure wouldn't hurt.</p>

<p>But if have to keep dealing with him, you could say something like " Mr. Soandso, maybe you don't realize it but you've made several comments related to my homeschooling, and it sounds like you don't approve. It's fine if you don't approve of homeschooling, but your comments are making me uncomfortable. I'd be happy to talk with you about homeschooling if you think it might help you understand my situation, but either way, it would really help me if you would stop saying those things." Or something like that, the point being to address it head-on yet politely with him. You might just be a conversation away from having him on your side.</p>

<p>In any case, don't let him get under your skin. Chalk it up to another homeschooling learning experience. This time it's an opportunity for you to practice coping constructively with prejudice.</p>

6

<p>People often tell me that I am so lucky to be homeschooled, as they think I get to sit around all day. Quite the contrary. I am up to my eyeballs with schoolwork, a college course, and preparing for college courses I will be taking next year. Homeschoolers have to do just as much as do kids who attend "regular" schools, and, in my case, I think more. </p>

<p>I also had a math streak when I was younger, but as a sophomore. I was a slow starter at math, but that year I finished pre-algebra, Algebra I, Algebra II, and Advanced Math (trig and geometry). I now am considering becoming a math major. Homeschooling has worked for me and has given me flexibility to finish the subjects I need to by being able to work at my own pace--and not being slowed down in the classroom.</p>

<p>DianeR put it well. I have run into many people who scoff at homeschooling only because they don't understand it. Others are interested in learning more about homeschooling, and I share my experiences with them and give them the ups and downs of such an education.</p>

7

<p>i hate those people who go like 'are you doing your homework? oh yeah! you DON'T HAVE ANY!!!! lucky!' in a sarcastic tone. or those who say 'don't you get lonely' over and over and OVER again. ugh.</p>

8

<p>I guess we'll have to disagree, nan :(</p>

<p>I think polite, but dismissive, comments work particularly well with those with whom one has continuing dealings. The people don't get the reaction they hope for and stop trying. Isn't this the sort of thing Miss Manners recommends when people offer rude comments or questions? Confronting him may give him the reaction he hopes for. (I know it is hard to imagine me quoting Miss Manners!)</p>

<p>There was a parent who also brought his child to the fencing club as I did. So I saw him frequently. When he found out we homeschooled he offered a number of challenges. I said something like, "Public school didn't work well for my daughter and we are very happy with homeschooling." He said something more, and I said, "Not at all -- public school ..." Some other comments, then, "Like I said -- public school ..." After that, we would just smile and nod at each other, which is what I preferred.</p>

<p>The only time I would opt for a direct approach is when the person is saying things out of ignorance or is truly interested in how homeschooling works. For example, another fencing parent was a public school teacher. But she was very nice and we had many interesting conversations about education and other matters. </p>

<p>Of course, this is how I analyze things when it is not the heat of the moment. Sometimes I can't help but rise to the bait, but then I regret it later. Unless I did a particularly good job ... :)</p>

<p>Whatever the poster does, it has to be something that she finds personally comfortable.</p>

<p>I suppose the OP could always just say, "Whatever." I can't write it with the right inflection and facial expression, but you all know what I mean. Won't that drive away just about any adult?</p>

<p>About sarcastic comments, sometimes the best defense is to miss the sarcasm. (Drives them nuts, ha ha). "You are lucky" merits a "yes" and a smile. "Aren't you lonely?" merits a "no" and a smile.</p>

9

<p>DianeR, maybe my choice of the words "head on" sounded more confrontational than intended. I think it makes sense to be up front without being intimidated, but not to butt heads. I certainly didn't mean to encourage a fight, but rather to look at other options. It is rarely the case that we have only two choices, to fight or to give up.</p>

<p>I like your idea about missing the sarcasm. In fact, that's sort of what I had in mind. Why not just assume the best of the guy for a moment? Maybe he is saying these things out of ignorance and truly is interested in homeschooling, like you mentioned. One can give him some straightforward information in a polite way, without engaging in a struggle or conflict. If it leads to a good discussion and improved relationship, that's a load off. If it doesn't work, there's plenty of time after that to resort to dismissive comments.</p>

<p>The OP has a right to express his or her needs in the situation, and shouldn't be intimidated by the guy's sarcasm. It's one thing to hear something once and let it pass, but if it happens on a regular basis, I think a proactive and constructive response would indeed be in order.</p>

10

<p>It took me a while to be indifferent to what other people say. Somewhere along the line I realized that what I was doing was right for me, that I'm doing the best that I can, and that I'm at a much better place right now than I would be if I stayed in public school for my high school years, and that was all that really mattered. I came to realize that all the things I did to make homeschooling possible for me (researching laws, reading countless of homeschooling books, putting it all together and in practice, etc.) was something I should be proud of. When I keep all these things in mind, what other people say is just not that important to me. It gets annoying of course but I don't put as much emphasis on what others say as I did before. I think homeschooling has afforded me the opportunity to grow up not only academically but in a lot of other aspects as well. When I was in public school I never really tried but passed all my classes and scored very well on tests. I grew idle and my friends consumed my life. Homeschooling has given me a break from all those things and to take control, as much as I can, of my life. I see my friends now in a controlled enviroment and my schoolwork is the hardest I've ever had because I've got no one to blame but myself. I realize that this might sound like Chicken Soup for the Teenage Homeschooling Soul, but this really has been my experience. When you take into account all the accomplishments you've achieved through homeschooling everything else falls into the background. Hope this helps.</p>

11

<p>your not doing anything wrong, he is</p>

12

<p>Some homeschools kids are the smartest kids you will ever meet. Home schooling is great. Everything focuses around you. If you want to learn more about something then you get to do that. For example if you really like the Civil War then you can go to like Gettysburg and see the things. The only bad thing is that I think they don't get as many activities as public school. I'm not sure though. </p>

<p>Maybe tell your parents how you feel and ask from them what you should do. Or try a snappy comeback. I wouldn't let it go. Innocently go like "No, homeschooling is so hard. My parents push me so much. I'm getting so stressed." It's lying, but it can help your problem.</p>

13

<p>Reid Barton (i think that's his name) was homeschooled. Wiki him.</p>

14

<p>Look at him in the eye and say, "We'll talk when I get into Columbia as a John Jay scholar and your daughter is weeping over her waitlisted American University application"</p>

15

<p>I'll have to admit I think similarly to that guy, but why don't you reply "wow, I'm glad you're hard at work" when he talks to you.</p>

<p>I mean, what kind of adult who has a real job has time to spend mornings at an education center? (Unless that is his job?...)</p>

16

<p>his cleans the center, drives the kids to and fro, and move heavy stuff and mostly chill in the afternoon. but saying stuff like that will get me killed- koreans have this great 'respect-adults-or-die' kind of a thing.</p>

17

<p>oh yeah, didn't you see my first post on this thread?
i'm in 8TH GRADE. i am NOT interested in college guys :D i meant like the guys i see randomly. haha</p>

18

<p>I play all day.</p>

19

<p>hey veganactress, good for you! BTW. my DD is a vegan actress!</p>