Hey everyone, I’m new to posting here but I’ve browsed the site for years. I currently go to a college that has basically become openly homophobic. I LOVE this school, met good friends, and even though it has very hard courses I’m enjoying what I’m learning. Ever since these issues have come out, I’ve become very conflicted about my time here. I don’t feel right supporting the school and giving them my money, but I also have loved going here. I am disgusted by the schools comments and actions. My friends here are also pretty conflicted, so it makes it harder to really know what to do. The school is a small catholic school, and I know most people know schools like this will be this way, but I never expected it to turn out this way, and I think its the schools handling of the situation that’s really getting to me. Do I just keep sticking it out? Or do I really spend more time thinking about it? Some might think this is an easy choice, but its a big decision due to academic and other factors.
What year are you? If you are a freshman transferring is different than if you are a junior.
I’m sorry for what you are going through. Consider what is best for you, and make your decision… It is entirely appropriate to transfer for this reason.
I am sorry you are going through this.
If this isn’t personally too hurtful to you, you could try to change the hearts and minds of some of your peers by staying and having open, non-combative conversations with them. You might make a life-long difference for someone. Oftentimes people just say stupid stuff, and if someone calls them on it in a thoughtful way, a lot of people can learn and grow to be better people. This isn’t your job, though, so it’s up to you whether you feel comfortable doing this. And you might have some very bad experiences along the way. It depends on what you can handle and what path you want to take.
Has there always been this much negativity towards gays at your school, or has the Pope’s announcement in support of gay civil unions spurred some of these conversations? If this event has spurred the comments, maybe things will calm down in a few months? If so, would you be able to forgive those folks and move on, or are you so disgusted with them that you can’t overcome what they’ve said/done?
I’d hope that your administration would support your view. The Pope has stated numerous times that gays should not be prejudiced against, and the school should respect the Pope’s teachings. (And the administration should be reminded of this, if necessary).
Agree that another choice, (other than transferring or sticking it out and feeling guilty and conflicted) is to take on the issue, in a way that is right for you. The Catholic church does teach compassion. This is directly from the Catholic Catechism: “They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided.” You and your friends could challenge your school’s responses if they are not in line with the beliefs and philosophies of the church. The school may have a LGBTQ student alliance club that you and your friends could look into, to be allies and try to improve the situation.
Good luck. These are not easy choices.