<p>Don't feel too bad. We also rashly told our son that he could go to his first choice school if he got in. Well, he did, but it was creeping up on $50k/year and they decided that we didn't need any financial aid. (How we were supposed to spend half of our net income on college is beyond me.) "Ouch, ouch, ouch" is right! Anyway, we all discussed it during the approximately one week of time we were given and decided that it wasn't worth it for us. We didn't want that debt and neither did son. It would have been very limiting for graduate options, as well as for the younger sibling. I'm glad to say that son is completely happy with his state school (engineering), his friends and his 4.0, and we are all glad we saved that money for grad/professional school and for sister. </p>
<p>I also agree with the working thing. I work part-time and have a younger child. We felt that I was there for the older child and it wouldn't be right to abandon the younger one so that my entire income could go to college expenses. I know it doesn't make it any easier for you, but at least you have a lot of company! :rolleyes:</p>
<p>Mom58- when you frame it as "I'm working to invest in my kids intellectual capital" it doesn't feel as painful. Although H and I ended up with loans from both undergrad and grad, our parents invested in us to the extent that they were able. I wouldn't risk my retirement or move to a homeless shelter to pay tuition, but at the end of the day, some combination of every family member kicking in to make college a reality is what most people end up doing. I assume that my kids will do what it takes to educate my grandchildren.... and so we all pay it forward.</p>
<p>Working has more benefits than just your net income, by the way... H and I have ended up with one job with lousy medical; one job with great medical; one job where you can decline virtually anything you don't want and another with flex pay and so forth. Over the long haul, one of the jobs is worth significantly more than the net income just for the ability to pay for eyeglasses, orthodontist, almost free prescriptions, etc. with pre-tax dollars. S even got a very generous merit scholarship from one of our employers.... allegedly for Freshman year only but they renewed him automatically for the three subsequent years when there were fewer applicants than expected. Tax free; paid directly to the college; took kid 45 minutes to write the essay-- very very sweet.</p>
<p>No inheritance or grandparent contributions here. But we paid in 2 ways:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>We've lived below our means (H & I are both engineers and I've worked continuously, altho I've been part-time for the past several years)</p></li>
<li><p>D's 'dream school' was an in-state public with scholarship covering all but room/board (not her parents' choice - she had great stats!). She has a job for spending money. </p></li>
</ol>
<p>S is graduating HS in 08, and he will most likely be attending an in-state publlic also, probably without scholarship. We think we'll be able to handle both kids mostly out of current income.</p>
<p>I agree that $50,000/year is not worth it! Altho we would have been happy for our D to do 'better', and even tried to encourage her to, the oppportunity cost of the upper tier schools is just ridiculous.</p>
<p>My mom just sent me a link to some site which runs the numbers to tell you what tuition will be in five years, six years, etc. and I was astounded!
By the time my eleven year old goes to college, 4 years at a private university will be $330,000! Can ANYONE afford that? How?</p>
<p>I also wonder about a scenario where my daughters decided to be SAHM's for awhile to raise their children. I don't want them to feel like "I can't. I still owe 200,000 for college -- plus all the money for grad school -- and now I have to work forever." Besides, how will they ever save for their OWN children if they're still paying off their own educations?</p>
<blockquote>
<p>I also wonder about a scenario where my daughters decided to be SAHM's for awhile to raise their children. I don't want them to feel like "I can't. I still owe 200,000 for college -- plus all the money for grad school -- and now I have to work forever." Besides, how will they ever save for their OWN children if they're still paying off their own educations?<<</p>
</blockquote>
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<p>Absolutely true, Momzie! A large amount of school loans to pay off restricts life choices, a message CC parents try to get across to CC kids.</p>
<p>Blossom-- The investment idea doesn't really work for me. Investing is about getting the biggest return for the dollar. I'm not sure than happens when you pay full price, even at the very best school. And even when the return is measured in something intangible like intellectual growth and not necessarily dollars. It is something like artwork (or anything collectible)-- it might appreciate and can be great to have for its own sake, but I'm going to hesitate before I sink have my income into it.
As for other reasons to work-- we have health coverage. The arguments for working that most appeal to me are that it is a good habit and can be stimulating. Right now I'm glad I have time for some volunteer work and that my availability gives D more flexibility in scheduling activities. I guess that is my investment in my Ds' intellectual capital, that and the occasional thoughtful discussion.
I think most of us would love to give our kids the world, but that isn't always going to work or even be the best course. Besides, they have a lifetime ahead to go out and grab the world.
I try to keep perspective-- we are fortunate to have the means to even have the discussion.</p>