How can I afford/appeal the college of my dreams? (Emory)

Paying for College
1

<p>I am the oldest of four children and live in a household of 7. My dad was laid off as of Jan. 1st. My mother is a lawyer and doesn't have a W2 due to private clients so the earliest date she could turn in her taxes was March 1st...but she didn't turn in the forms until March 20th...after I repeatedly asked her again and again to. I am so angry, I can't even speak to either of my parents. I have worked so hard in high school...I haven't had a lunch since junior high, I take classes before school starts each morning and I take an after school class...I love learning, I love challenges, I'm president or leader of almost every club/organization in the school (NHS, Key Club, Spanish Club, Cross Country, Marching Band, Jazz Band, Orchestra, Musical). Oh, and I've worked a part time job since I was 16 to pay for all of my own expenses. I went through high school doing everything on my own. </p>

<p>Yesterday my financial aid was finally up and it said I only received 13,000 a year although the total cost is 52,000 a year?!?! I asked my dad to call and appeal but he told me to have my mom do it, but I insisted he take care of it since she obviously doesn't care (turned in every form late) and he told me to go f*** myself. They don't have any money put away for me. I barely have any savings. The other schools I was accepted to (BU, Dickinson, LehighU) gave me 22,000-26,000 in aid a year, which my parents already appealed because it isn't nearly enough...probably due to my mom not turning in the forms on time. </p>

<p>How can I get Emory to match this or to help me? They are my first choice and I would do ANYTHING to make it work...but I'm afraid I was on the lower end of the accepted pool 2030 SAT and 3.4 unweighted GPA. I just hate to think all of my sleepless nights and 0 free time and all this dedication and hardwork was for nothing. Should I call myself? Can I explain that I have passive and unsupportive parents? What should I do?</p>

2

<p>How much are your parents willing to pay? You say they are appealing BU, D and L, for more money, so are they and some other schools close to what they see as possible. I think they understand the appeals process a bit better now as they are going though it and see that it is probably a waste of time to try to get such a large gap as they would have with Emory to make it work. You’d need double the awards to make it comparable to the other schools, and that is not likely to happen. </p>

<p>But you are an adult or coming close to it, so give it a go yourself. I don’t think you have passive and unsupportive parents in that they did end up filling out your forms and it appears as though they will be paying at least for some of your college.</p>

3

<p>When did Emory receive ANY financial forms? Did you submit FAFSA guestimates in January and just recently submitted final financial aid forms? In other words, were these financial aid awards done with incomplete financial information? If so, that’s easy, just ask them to re-evaluate based on correct/current data.</p>

<p>It is probable your parents make enough and own enough of a home (and business) to determine that your need is higher than you want it to be. It’s a common situation to be in.</p>

<p>I expect that you would not be able to get much more, but you could try appealing, based on the offers of similar caliber schools.</p>

<p>What would it take for you to be able to attend ANY of these schools? If none of them are affordable, it may not be worth the time/effort to appeal to Emory and just move on to a school that you CAN afford.</p>

<p>In an appeal you need to be factual, not emotional.</p>

4

<p>They sent in the Profile and FAFSA on time…but the IDOC and worker displacement verification forms were turned in late March. My parents said they will contribute 10000 a year and I don’t think it is reasonable to take out more than 10,000 a year in loans for an undergrad…so I’d need Emory to match BU D or L’s offers of 25,000 and I’d work my a** off all summer and the rest of the year to fill in the other 5-7 grand. I just don’t understand how they could offer me 12000/year when even our FAFSA said we could only afford 30000/year which we even saw as not doable.</p>

<p>My parents don’t support me. They ignore my needs, basic and complex. We had to go to family therapy because my father was abusive and CYF almost got involved. All my life I have worked like a dog to try and better myself and to live the “dream,” it seems almost unfair that all of this is for practically nothing because of my mother’s irresponsibility and failure to turn in forms in time…I wrote the essays, took and paid for the tests, paid for the applications, this was the only thing she had to do. Is this situation impossible?</p>

5

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<p>Yes, I think that’s a BRILLIANT strategy! It won’t get you in, of course, but at least it will reassure the school that it made the right decision in not offering you more.</p>

<p>Really . . . stop and think for a moment. Your mother is the sole wage earner for a family of 7. She has a complicated enough tax situation that she wasn’t able to complete her tax return before March 20, despite you asking her to do it sooner. Your father, who is no longer able to support the family, reasonably deferred to your attorney-mother as the person who would best be able to advocate on your behalf. And your response is to BLAME them for this???</p>

<p>I know you’re upset about this, but your performance in school suggests that you’re also smart enough to realize that your parents really aren’t out to sabotage your college career.</p>

<p>I’d strongly suggest that you take a breath, APOLOGIZE to your parents, and ask them if they can’t work WITH you to find a solution to this situation.</p>

<p>Make sure that each of these schools now has current and accurate financial data and then file an appeal. If you need to do it yourself, ask your mother to sit down with you ahead of time and help you draft your appeal.</p>

<p>P.S. I just read your last post and I get it: your parents aren’t perfect. But you still need their help to make this work, so get over it and find a way to work on this TOGETHER.</p>

6

<p>You got some other people out there that are willing to throw in the $10K a year for you to go to college? I wonder what they’d want from you to give out that kind of money. </p>

<p>I don’t think you will even be allowed to take out $10K in loans a year on your own. Your parents would have to apply for parent loans and be rejected before you can get an additional $4K from there, and anything else, unless the school has them in the Fin Aid package already, would be co signed loans and again, who else will sign for you when credit and repayment will be on the line for the next 20 years in doing so.</p>

<p>I don’t know a single school in the country that guarantees to meet the FAFSA EFC. That is just a government guideline for eligibility for federal funds. Most schools use PROFILE and they interpret need differently. That FAFSA EFC is usually the absolute minimum amount your family could be paying and still getting federal aid is the way to look at it. You start losing loan subsidies and work study money at that point.</p>

<p>If your parents are so evil, you might want and abusive, it might be a good idea to find a way to support yourself and make that a priority instead of going to college right away which is going to make you dependent on them for the next 4 years. There is that little matter of the $10K a year that they are saying they would pay, and aren’t they addressing the need offers for those other three schools. You can’t have it both ways in terms of saying your parents don’t support you and then telling us all how they do.</p>

7

<p>I don’t want to just support myself…I want to gain the knowledge and experiences to be the best I can be. I don’t want to work for the next four years and then go to college when I finally can be seen as independent…why did I take every course and challenge presented to me in high school then? It just doesn’t seem right how financial aid works for the middle class…and my family is barely middle class anymore now that we’re depending on my mom, so why aren’t we receiving the aid that we so desperately need?</p>

8

<p>The schools believe they are granting you the aid that you need (but not necessarily what you want). They don’t ask what your credit card debt is or other consumer debts. They don’t ask what you choose to spend your money on. College is a choice. You can buy a new car for example, or you can buy an education. You can buy a Starbuck’s latte, or you can brew coffee at home.</p>

<p>Believe me, from experience, you learn to do with a lot less when you have a lot less. But while you feel comfortable, you choose to spend comfortably. It’s hard to live dirt poor when there is money in the bank.</p>

<p>I didn’t get a dime from my parents when I went to college. I had to be very creative in the process.</p>

<p>It’s an unfortunate economic situation that many of us are dealing with. The schools are dealing with it too. They are getting less federal funding and less in donations because people have less to donate. I’m sure they would love to make it easy for all admitted students to attend their school, but they can’t.</p>

<p>Figure out Plan B (or C) and look forward to it and be happy about it. If you need to attend commmunity college, then do that, and do the best you can and be happy that youare still learning and still working toward your dreams. The name on the 4 walls are not that much of an issue (especially for the first 2 years). What you put into your education and what you get out of it are what matters. Go be a shining star. Get stellar recommendations and keep working hard. Perhaps in the meantime your parents situation may change and they may be able to offer you some support, especially when they see that you’ve worked so hard and they wouldn’t be wasting their money.</p>

<p>Good luck.</p>

9

<p>You are applying to PRIVATE colleges. They are there to make money. They give out SOME financial aid, not nearly enough according to their own rules as to who they want to give the money. They also give out merit money for those they want the most regardless of their family finances, Why should any private organization with prices set up a certain way discount things to your taste? They have enough takers with what they offer, and if they don’t… maybe then they will lower the price. But why should they right now. You are frothing at the mouth for a chance to get into the very school that you are saying has kicked you in the pants, after the people who have invested the most time and money into you, your parents have also allegedly kicked you in the mouth. Yet you want more of both.</p>

<p>You either have to take the alleged abuse from the system, or work it out on your own. You seem to have learned your school stuff well enough to get into some pretty good schools, but you can use a lot of knowledge and experience in the practical things of the world, which I don’t think college is going to make a dent in with the attitude you are showing. You want colleges, tax payers, parents to all pay for you instead of doing it all on your own. You don’t desperately need anything other than maybe some time in working with people who are truly desperately needy. You are being showered with luxury. I think a gap year working with some truly needy people would do you some good, especially if you have to live among them and like them. If I were a college adcom that is what would recommend to your parents, and if I were one of your parents, i think I would insist on the same. I’m a mom of a lot of kids and I’ve seen a lot of kids taking this college route. Your sense of entitlement ranks way up there. </p>

<p>Your family is hardly middle class with that EFC either. Use some of those scholastic skills and find out what middle class truly is. Not a family that can afford to come up with $10K in college costs per year out of current income and savings and with a $30K EFC.</p>

<p>Do you have a job? Have you saved up some college money? How many hours and how much did you make the last several summers in preparation for college costs? You do realize that it’s going to be very tight, in fact, I don’t know how you are even going to afford those other schools with the package they have given you and $10K from your parents. You certainly are not going to be able to get loans on your own. And if you haven’t been working in the past, it’s not going to be that easy to find the jobs now. I suggest you start looking and working now. You have your college acceptances; now’s the time to start working to pay for college. My cousin’s son worked whenever he could at a nursing home and still does as he is in college to make extra money as it is tight for him. My kids earned $9-10K over the summers working 3 jobs to have the money because they knew we were tight on cash. What have you been doing since you know that your family so desperately needs money?</p>

10

<p>Excuse me, but you definitely should not point fingers without knowing anything about my situation. I’ve been working since I was in 8th grade, babysitting around the neighborhood and at the end of 10th grade I started working at a local business 3-10 EVERY SINGLE NIGHT because money was tight in my family. I don’t get to choose how my parents spend their money, I paid for my own lessons, my own tutor, my own testing, my own everything down to my own toothpaste. I am not living in luxury at all and how dare you assume I am. There is nothing wrong with wanting the best of the best if you’ve worked to be the best of the best. Let me tell you how fun it is to have school from 7 AM to 3 PM, no lunch, no study halls, no breaks at all, taking 11 classes a day for 3 years and then running to work 3 PM to 10 PM right afterwards and doing your homework from 10 PM to 2 AM and when I did have a day off it was time to plan school events for my leadership positions or dedicate my “spare” hours to volunteer work. It’s not, but kids are constantly fed this nonsense that if you work hard and get into that dream school, it will be paid for. Ha! What was all this hard work for? Not so I could go to CC or plan Z. I could’ve gotten a 4.0 if I wasn’t working 7 hours a day, but that was not really an option for me.</p>

11

<p>People like you are the worst. You should work hard in high school because you want to, not because you’re going to “Get your college paid for”. Go to a community college or a state school, and stop blaming your parents. It’s not their fault, it’s yours. You clearly did not try hard enough to get full merit scholarships, and you blame your parents for not being able to pay for your dream. get over yourself.</p>

12

<p>HocelynJong,</p>

<p>When did your parents let you know that the most they could pay would be $10k each year? Did you know that when you began to look for colleges, or did they not say anything about money until you had been accepted, or was there a different figure that had to be lowered because your dad became unemployed?</p>

<p>I ask because if you had known all along, you would have had a chance to be more pro-active about finding places that would be affordable. If this is something that was sprung on you recently, or something that changed after all of the applications were in, things are different.</p>

<p>Every year lots of kids find out very late in the game that the colleges and universities that they have worked so hard to get into, aren’t possible because of financial issues. You are not alone at all. Believe me, we get it that you feel that you have been lied to and tricked in this process. And yes, it is OK to be angry or sad or, well whatever emotion it is you are feeling. But the fact remains that if X, Y, and Z cannot be made affordable for you, you can’t attend any of them this fall. </p>

<p>Put in the appeals, but think through your back-up plan. There are several threads in this forum on automatic or guaranteed merit scholarships. Take a look at them. You have the grades and test score for some of them. Pick up the phone and call the institutions involved and see if they will still admit you for this fall and offer that aid. If not, think about taking a gap year and applying for fall 2014.</p>

<p>Don’t like anything on those lists or don’t want a gap year? Use Common App to find colleges and universities that look to be affordable and that are still accepting applications. Or check out your own home-state community colleges and public universities. If you truly want to be in school this fall, there are affordable options out there. Yes these are options that you don’t want to have to consider, but if your choice is delaying college or attending A, B, or C this fall, perhaps A, B, or C won’t look so bad.</p>

<p>Lastly if your home situation is truly grim, consider the option of picking up the phone and contacting CYF. If you are in a court-ordered guardianship before you turn 18, your parents’ financial information will no longer matter at all for college.</p>

13

<p>Here is how it works. Not my rules, but the way the system works You are an adult at age 18, and your parents are no longer responsible for your keep. They can kick you out of the house, you can leave, they do not have to pay for you. No more CPS issues. You are on your own.</p>

<p>Except for when it comes to college. That is up to your parents, just as high school was. Your parents choose where you go to high school in picking where they decide to live, and the public school system there. Or they can send you to private school, Catholic school, boardiing school but they have to PAY. So it continues with college. Until you are 24, married, have a dependent, a veteran, were removed by court order when you were under 18 from your parents, or in a homeless shelter, the government deems you a dependent when it comes to financial aid. You need your parents financial information if you want any government subsidy. Only that $5500 Stafford loan is what you can get on your own. The FAFSA EFC determines what the government feels your parents should pay before they will give you any loan subsidies or work study. That’s what that $30K figure is for. When the goverrnment subsidies kick in, not what you are expected to pay unless a college chooses to use that number. There isn’t a college in this country that guarantees to meet need based on FAFSA EFC. </p>

<p>Why you think you are entitled to a private school, I have no idea. What you are entitled to is a local state school. FOr that, you can borrow up to $5500. Your parents can choose to let you live at home for free which is worth anywhere from $5-10K in terms of living expenses. Maybe you know someone else who will let you live rent free and will feed you and supply you with you basics. Anything else is pure gravy. You might want a Mercedes which is what these $60K schools are, you can buy a Mercedes every year for 4 years for what college costs, but you are entitled to the local transportation system and the local state school on loan money. That’s it. You want to live on your own for a year and go live in a homeless shelter, the government will subsidize some of those loans and throw in up to $5600 of PELL money. That’ s about it. Any thing else is up to the school as they have to come up with money to give any further discounts to you. When you are talking private schools, they are out there to MAKE money. </p>

<p>You have to have decent stats to be accepted to the schools you list, so you could have gotten scholarships to go to schools where you are the top of the top. As you yourself say, you are on the edge in terms of Emory acceptees. I know a young woman here who comes from a well to do family, whose parents told her that there was little or no money for college, so she worked her tail off during high school, including working jobs and got one of the Emory Scholars awards so she could go there free. Yes, there are such kids, and not all of them are needy. She understood that her parents wanted to live a certain standard of living that precluded paying a quarter million dollars for college. </p>

<p>So that’s where you are right now. Seems to me your parents are trying to make this work. If they won’t call Emory, you go on ahead and do so and find out what the issue is. You have the awards from the other schools and should let them know. Maybe there was a mistake. Maybe it was because your mother was late with the info. But you can find out. I think your parents are being pragmatic as the gap is really pretty big even with those other schools. You do know that they cost over $60K a year? Your parents are only willing to pay $10K a year. They are trying to get more from those schools. The way they look at it, it’s going to be tough enough with that smaller gap and it’s a waste of time with Emory. Maybe they are right. Maybe not. But you can call and find out. </p>

<p>In a perfect world, you would have parents who could and would pay the full amount and give you what you want in terms of college. Not the case for the vast majority of people. The average college student goes to school part time, commuting and working full or part time, and some of those kids have every bit as good scores and grades as you, and worked every bit as hard. And will continue to do so. You, are not entitled to a private sleep away college experience. Or a Mercedes. Or a wedding with all the bells and whistles. Or a house in a great neighborhood. All these things have to be earned or you got lucky. There are those not even as lucky as you.</p>

<p>So sit down with your parents and look at what your choices are. With three siblings at home, a dad unemployed, one doesn’t have to be a financial advisor to figure out things are tough right now. The decent thing to do is to offer to go to a state school or a local choice that would be affordable to your parents and take some stress off of them, instead of acting like a spoiled brat, blaming them for the insufficient aid package and throwing a tantrum about not getting to go to a quarter million dollar private sleep away college.</p>

14

<p>I absolutely do not believe you could be in all of those clubs and work all of those jobs too. You do have money to pay for college then? If you had proof of that kind of schedule your school would have picked up the phone and told Harvard about this 'you got to see this student". Or been nominated ofr an Emory Scholars award and probably gotten it too.</p>

<p>With an EFC of $30K your parents most likely make six figures. There are far more students and families with less than that. You are very much upper middle class and maybe upper income. Take a look at the averages. </p>

<p>It’s very difficult to believe that your parents pay for nothing when they sent in all of that paperwork which a lot of parents refuse to do, are negotiating to get more aid for you, have committed to paying $10K a year for you and also, most importantly of all, it is very clear that you have high expectations of them to provide for you for college with this rage and entitlement you are showing. Those kids who are truly left to themselves and had to pay for everything and do everything themselves know better than to expect ANYTHING from parents who just won’t or can’t do so. The shoe just doesn’t fit here. It seems to me that you are angry that your family cannot afford what you want, and it’s danged big want here. I’ve seen kids whose families would not, could not help and this situation does not fit at all. There are also kids who are in a rage because their expectations were dashed after being brought to a high with an acceptance they so wanted from a college. I think your parents were also hoping that with your Dad unemployed now that maybe the schools would come up with some more aid, that maybe with all of your activities and working all of those hours, that you would get a merit award. Didn’t happen, so you need to look at affordable options. You won’t be able to borrow more than $5500 unless a school has included a Perkins or their own loans in their packages; not without your parents taking primary responsibility for the loans, and really with their situation up in the air as it is and 3 other kids after you, taking out more than the Stafford guaranteed loans is a bad idea for all concerned.</p>

15

<p>1) We didn’t find out my dad was getting laid off until very late into the game…up till that point my parents told me the most important issue was getting in. Unfortunately my mom explained that a loan that was taken out to pay help pay for our house my dad took out of his 401K and once he got laid off this loan came out as “income” even though it needs to be paid off and is definitely not income. My mom only makes 45,000/year but my dads severence pay which will expire in October makes us ineligible for Emory’s loan cap program. This was all a very unexpected, unpleasant surprise. Even if I did get to take a gap year through Americorps or CityYear, the only thing I’d benefit is from the experience and the service award at the end…our taxes would still look the same. If I worked like a dog from now until college I could maybe save up 10,000 but I’d still need to take out 20,000 for my freshman year…which seems ridiculous. Right now, my mom is trying to figure out how we will keep our house…it’s no longer a choice of if she is willing to pay more for my education…she can’t. Yes, I am angry, this was not part of the deal when I put in those long hours or all of this work. I didn’t work this hard to be mediocre. I think that should be understandable?</p>

<p>2) I did do all of the clubs, classes, and worked all the hours. The reason why I’m not Harvard material is because my grades slipped pretty bad when I started working until I started giving up other things to balance. </p>

<p>3) I want to go to a private school not because of the name but because I like the programs and the better opportunities…the stronger faculty, the better networking, the more study-oriented environment. I want to be surrounded by people who are driven and while I know that it’s the students that make a school special, not the other way around, I want to go to a school where there are special, driven, and diverse students. </p>

<p>4) I am thoroughly frustrated with the fact that the middle class gets little legitimate aid for college…it seems like a sick joke that the only people who get to go to these private schools without selling a kidney are the lower class, the upper class, and the ridiculously bright. I think anger is what any driven and dedicated 17-year-old would feel after being accepted to her dream school and realizing that she can no longer afford it because of things out of her control. If my parents had told me at the getgo I’d have to find a way to pay for 2/3 of my college tuition on my own, I would’ve been more driven at age 14…but that was not the situation…sorry I wanted to be able to experience what it was like to be young and free even if for a short time.</p>

16

<p>I think you should be more concerned about your family situation now than about going to an expensive private college that is unaffordable. You say your family with 3 younger ones could be out of their house. Your parents are going through some very rough financial times right now, and I don’t see how they can afford $10K a year or even for one year. That would not be a good financial move for them at all. You seem to think that the schools should be concerned about this, when I would think that you should be a lot more concerned, and acting to cost as little as possible while they are undergoing these difficult times.</p>

<p>You are not going to be able to borrow more that the Stafford and if the school gave you Perkins, without parents signing as well. And they are in no shape to do that. The best thing for you to do is to look at the local options that are affordable, and let your parents know that is one thing less for them to have to worry about. </p>

<p>We have a Rhodes Scholar from our little college here that would not make the ranks of your list. Didn’t hurt her a bit to be going there to school. The cream does rise.</p>

17

<p>Oh, and you should be angry with Emory,instead of panting to go there with your tongue hanging out. They are a private school. They can give you the money if they so please. They even give money to those who have the money and zero need. They just have to want you. Why on earth do you want to go to a school with those of lower class than you, upper class and ridiculously bright? THAT is your dream school? </p>

<p>Sorry your parents did not tell you sooner. They were probably hoping and are still hoping things turn around. But really, the big thing to do is to give them some relief by taking the pressure off about your college.</p>

18

<p>I want to be a doctor. I was really hoping that in college I wouldn’t have to work as much, that I’d be able to be studious and surround myself with students as studious and driven as I am. Of course I’m upset, I even read that turning in forms late means you only get what’s left of the pool of money so it’s very important to turn everything in on time. I might have to take a gap year just to get Dickinson’s Gap Year 10,000 scholarship…I don’t want to take a year off, I just want to study and get ahead so I can start paying off family loans, my own loans, and finally be able to enjoy all the perks of hard work and dedication…this just seems like such a hopeless situation.</p>

19

<p>Gee…yet another “I worked too hard to go to a lowly public university” rant. You hardly ever see one of these here on CC.</p>

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<p>Are you really so blinded by the shiny brochures from private schools that you believe these things don’t exist at public universities? If so, you have a lot of learning and a lot of growing up to do. Your efforts to support your family are commendable, but your posts come off sounding like a spoiled child with a sense of entitlement.</p>

<p>To answer your original question…you can’t afford the college of your dreams. Take the blinders off and look at your options again.</p>

20

<p>I’ve been to public universities, a lot of my friends who graduated last year or the year before or now at Pitt and I’ve visited friends there and it just is not what I’m looking for. I don’t think I’d get the individual attention I’d need and if I chose to start at Oxford for the first two years I’d get my own faculty adviser and some of the current students I’ve talked to talk about how getting the intimacy of a liberal arts college for the freshman and sophomore years and then getting to enter the large research university campus allowed them to get the best of both worlds. It looks like I’ll be attending Lehigh or Dickinson…</p>