Can she be just her studious but mundane self or does she need to be someone else?
Isn’t the whole point of the essay to reveal some insight about one’s self?
Essays on ordinary topics often work really well. I tutor sometimes and the worst mistakes I see are overwriting resulting from trying to be “unique.”
I know how hard it could be trying to support your child on to her next stage in life. But I think she really needs to look into herself and find that something of her own and not just consider her achievements in school. She might have something that even you don’t know about… Anyway, you might want to refer to “100 Successful Harvard Application Essays” or follow this link: http://ecsapp.com/ecs/essayfile.php
@GMTplus7 What if OP’s kid thinks her true self isn’t as appealing? Is an essay some sort of makeup that makes a pale face tan? What if essay readers tend to look right through her face i.e. give her a holistic assessment?
I once asked an author about how to improve my kid’s writing skills. The answer was to keep writing at school and pay attention to teacher’s feedback. What writing and what feedback, in my public school?
It seems very hard to become a good writer, likely untrainable at the idea level. I’d love to see insights from CC’ers.
For their prep school admissions and college admissions essays, my kids have written essays about some hilarious mishaps that occured in their lives. Far from making themselves appear suave and super, their humbling accounts were humorously self-deprecating and made them appear human.
Their essays were written as lively narratives in everyday words, not using contrived vocabulary. Their essays left the reader with a memorable image of the writer.
The chief sins to avoid with the essay:
– do not put the reader to sleep
– do not offend the reader
– do not make the reader roll their eyes
Reading a heckuva a lot also helps to improve writing. When you read a lot, you absorb what “sounds” right.
My kids received tips from their English teachers. My son chose to write about an EC…how he got started, what skills he gained from it, and why he was happy he stuck with it.
My kids all looked at photo albums to get ideas. This worked so well with my first (who wrote about how playing with Legos prepared him for computer programming, and how missing pieces helped creativity) so we suggested it to the other two when their time came.
These essays do not have to be about important topics, or carry the whole weight of telling them who you are: the application has space for plenty of EC’s and so on, and there is also a supplementary essay option.
I tell students to write as if they were talking to someone in the room with them, and stay away from big words unless needed for meaning (E.B.White’s excellent advice in Strunk and White).
“Mundane” topics can make the best essays, they really can.
One adcom suggested that when you had a draft, you share it with someone who doesn’t know you well and ask that person to describe the person in the essay. If it doesn’t sound like you, go back to the drawing board.
Think about what you want to convey. Personally, I think that an essay that shows reflection and personal growth is compelling. For example, if a high achieving student can authentically write about a fear of failing and a simultaneous desire to take a risk that might lead to failure, it could be interesting. I like the essays that are stories because the details can describe who you are. Maybe there was an encounter that made her question what she’d believed. When it’s personal, it’s also unique.
One challenge for many good students – the ones who can write a good academic paper – is finding a voice that’s human and theirs. This isn’t abut big words or high literary style. It’s your story.
She needs to be herself…because SHE is the one applying to college…not someone else.
Last year, a CC parent suggested a workbook,
Write Out Loud (https://www.amazon.com/Write-Out-Loud-College-Application/dp/0071828281)
to help students begin writing essays about themselves. Look it up and see if that may be helpful. Th book helped my daughter begin the process of writing about herself.
The goal of the essay (IMO) is to make the reader think, “I’d like this person in my class” or “This person would be fun to have as a roommate.” You can certainly do that by showing your studious side if that is who you are. A good start may be to list all the traits about yourself you might want to illustrate: I’m studious, I’m curious, I’m a good friend, I have a good sense of humor, I care about people, I’m a computer nerd, I like to teach myself stuff, I’m a dreamer, I get my best ideas while dancing. Then think of some things you have done that might illustrate that in an engaging way.
My older son (the computer nerd) started his essay with the results of a computer program he had written. His essay made clear that he was a kid who would teach himself far beyond what the high school curriculum offered.
My younger son talked about visiting a paper museum in Japan when he was young and how that started a lifelong interest in origami. He wrote about it in a humorous way. In fact all of his essays showed his sense of humor along with a thoughtfulness about how the world works.
Our high school did an okay job of teaching writing, but the sort of writing these essays require is nothing like a research paper. My kids learned to write by being avid readers and they both looked at a lot of sample essays. (Many colleges post ones the like and there are lots of books at the library.)
Here on CC I like the advise here: http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-essays/979752-easy-exercise-to-get-started-on-a-terrific-essay-p1.html and I liked this too: http://admissions.tufts.edu/blogs/inside-admissions/post/500-words-or-less/
Some good suggestions above (e.g., by @SlackerMomMD). For general advice about writing, I always recommend the classic Strunk and White, “The Elements of Style.” If you haven’t read it, or haven’t read it recently, read it yourself. This “little book” is little. Then ask your daughter to read it. Then talk to her about it.
That is not a book about writing college essays, but it has some wonderful advice. For example, “Use the active voice” and “Vigorous writing is concise.”
Beyond that I would offer a few suggestions:
- Answer the question, i.e., respond to the prompt.
- Don't use any word in your essays whose meaning you had to look up. There's no reward for fancified writing.
- Don't trust "spellcheck." Read every word. Spellcheck doesn't know if you intended to write there or their or they're.
- The short answer questions are just as important as the longer essays. UChicago's admissions officer used to say that the admissions committee sometimes learned more about the applicant from the short-answer questions than from the longer essays that were often written by committee.
There’s an entire section on this forum devoted to the topic of College Essays:
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-essays/
I agree with post #9 - I asked a friend who had worked in college admissions who had never met my S to read his draft. He made a few very small suggestions and made a good essay even better. My S’s main essay for the Common App wasn’t about anything huge and momentous, but did a good job at conveying his personality and his sense of humor.
The essay is rather formulaic. There’s the attention-grabbing intro, a story, then fitting the story into a bigger picture of the writer’s goals, character, or other attractive trait, and finally the wrap up.
The topic or story can be mundane, like raising houseplants, but the intro needs to be really over the top and the whole piece needs a lot of enthusiasm.
You can’t look at a collection of current essays and not see the formula.
https://apply.jhu.edu/apply/essays-that-worked/
I don’t see these essays as kids being themselves. It’s more like kids being their Facebook- or Instagram-selves, extra image-conscious and polished up. It’s a marketing come-on after all: these kids want colleges to pick them after all.
You can both be yourself and recognize that you are marketing yourself. One admissions officer said that if you dropped your essay on the cafeteria floor, someone who read it should be able to get it back to you even if it didn’t have your name on it.
In terms of making sure it sounds like you. Read the essay aloud. If you can’t read it smoothly in your natural voice, try again. I don’t think the intro needs to be over the top, but these essays often start with a vignette of some sort.
“Show, not just tell.” I agree on the writing as if telling an adult your tale. Eg, recounting to someone who doesn’t fully know you, won’t mentally fill in blanks you miss or mis-state (but has an idea what colleges look for.) Adcoms are strangers.
What if OP’s kid thinks her true self isn’t as appealing? Then she may have an issue with the colleges she’s targeting. This thread asks about mundane and the child (same userid) asks, “Do I just write my boring stories as they are…?” That’s missing something. This is about projecting your better side, knowing what it is that those adcoms will want to see.
Great ideas in this thread. I agree that showing who you are through recounting a personal episode helps the writer to write in his/her own voice and often to stand out in a sea of applicants. The topic doesn’t have to be specifically about an EC, service project, favorite class, etc. My kids wrote about a bad haircut, struggling to clean the popcorn machine at the local cineplex, and being squashed in the standing room section at a performance of “The Tempest.” You can show who you are in your perceptions of everyday events, your word choice, what you include and what you don’t.
You can also write a great essay about what you want to do with your life or how it felt when someone you love died; just know that many other writers will address the same topics in their essays.
The single best suggestion any of my kids ever got about writing, whether a personal essay or an academic paper, is read it to yourself out loud when you’re finished. ETA: Just noticed that @mathmom beat me to this suggestion above! I think she’s right.
The # 1 best way to improve your writing, in general, is to read everything in sight.