<p>S is writing essays for his college apps (or trying to anyways) and I find that they read like something written by a 12 year old. </p>
<p>For example, he is asked to write about how a significant event has shaped who he is. Since he hasn't had any great traumas and such, he is writing about his high school experience. He spends an entire page on how his friend talked him into hs X and then ended up going somewhere else. Another page on an experience he had on a class trip. There is zero insight into what the prompt is looking for. It could be written by a 6th grader. </p>
<p>I don't really understand this, since his hs stresses writing constantly in their assignments, etc. I am struggling to get something more meaningful and insightful out of him. Suggestions?</p>
<p>I wrote an almost identical post two years ago…I think the title was something like “I hate my son’s essay.” I received a lot of good advice but this was the best: interview him about his essay/topic and take notes. Have his draft in front of you. “You say here that ‘*t was a an interesting experience.’ Why was it interesting? What do you mean by that?”</p>
<p>Grill him until some insight or a distinct voice emerges. Write down what he says. Then give him your notes.</p>
<p>Doing this helped turned my son’s essay from a very trite, on-the-surface essay to a very touching, heartwarming essay.</p>
<p>For some kids, writing is natural (especially those that have read a lot of fiction and non-fiction). My daughter is like that. I’ve reviewed her writing when she was younger and critiqued some papers. She really didn’t need it though. I had to spend far more time with our son on writing and he is a so-so writer though he’s much better in writing on technical subjects. It’s one of those things that you have to do with your kids for a long time starting when they are young.</p>
<p>I think that many have trouble putting themselves in the place of the reader and write from their own perspectives. They assume that the reader has their background and experience and they don’t fill in the background stuff. There are tons of books for fixing writing problems but I see it as something that parents (or teachers) have to spend time on with their kids.</p>
<p>My daughter is a good writer, but is having trouble revealing much about herself in the essays. She tends to be a very private person, so this doesn’t feel natural. I’m trying to make suggestions, but haven’t seen any progress so far. I don’t think kids are used to this type of writing.</p>
<p>missypie, found your old thread. Some helpful suggestions. </p>
<p>I didn’t agree with those who said you should let whatever he wrote stand as a representation of himself. (Frankly, that kind of advice sounds more like “yeah, do this so there’s one less kid competing with MY kid for a slot at school X”) </p>
<p>At S’ school someone from the university came and gave a seminar on application essay writing. They could submit one for her to review. DS submitted a different one, which we hope will get a lot of mileage, and she had a plenty of comments - basically similar to what I have said, about lack of depth and not really giving much insight. He is re-working that one.</p>
<p>If the student has a problem now, then the student could probably use some work to prepare for college when the writing expectations are higher.</p>
<p>Maybe and maybe not. With a lot of students (may I say, especially guys), the problem isn’t grammatical, or word usage, or really anything to do with the mechanics of writing. The problem with the admissions essay is that they are supposed to be communicating something deep and meaningful, about themselves. </p>
<p>This is a different type of writing than, “Explain the use of darkness and light in Streetcar Named Desire.” Many students who can easily write about literary devices, or the top economic theories of the 20th century, or why the US entered WWI, find it very difficult to write about themselves.</p>
<p>Sounds like my son. He had a terrible time writing the required essays for his applications. He is very math/scince oriented and not one to do much self-analysis. All of those tell us about a time you grew as a person, learned from your mistakes etc. essays were torture. We eventually got through them although I am sure that they were the weak part of his application. He got into his first choice, but it wasn’t really a reach for him. Very competitive, but I’m sure he got in on merit and recommendations rather than his essays. Good luck. I fought that battle and it wasn’t pretty.</p>
Actually I don’t think that’s the case at all. My older son was perfectly capable of writing a history or English paper (and even got an A in his freshman writing course). The problem is that most kids have never written this sort of personal essay, and many (especially the introverted nerdy types) find it very difficult to do. It is much more a psychological problem than a writing problem. And by the way, my son read huge amounts of fiction (more than 100 books a year) and it didn’t help a bit.</p>
<p>It doesn’t help that the questions are pretty lame. My older son didn’t apply to Chicago, but actually liked their question from that year “If you could be an equation, which would it be and why.” Unfortunately MIT wanted to know how his family and community had influenced him. </p>
<p>Ultimately what worked for him, was giving up. He wrote a computer program that took bits of sample essays from the web and made that his first paragraph. Then he had a funny little self deprecating sentence about how bad the result was. Then he wrote about how he’d been given the tools and time to become a computer nerd by his school and his family. It was not a great essay, but it was good enough to get him into Harvard and Carnegie Mellon. I imagine that enthusiastic recommendations including two from people he’d worked for made a lot more difference than his essay.</p>
<p>When I’ve heard admissions officers (at selective colleges) talk about essays they’ve said something like this. (Fudging the numbers.) 80% of the essays aren’t particularly memorable, but do confirm impressions made by the rest of the application. 10 or 15% of the essays are good and push the candidate over the edge. A handful of essays are so memorable they make a difference and may make up for some less than perfect applications. And a handful are so awful that they make an otherwise good candidate look bad.</p>
<p>I had about four years of training in public speaking and it’s a good way to learn how to talk about yourself and your life experiences as personal experience can be a good way to get a point across.</p>
<p>That confirms what I’ve always thought. I’ve gone on some of the “essay writing tips” web sites and have read their examples of good essays. I’ve always thought the examples were of those that “didn’t suck”, which would be the 80%. I think the free advice web sites are trying to make sure the essays aren’t in the latter category.</p>
<p>It has been my experience that many college-bound kids are of the age where they are not very willing to accept advice from their parents. We had both of our kids show their essays to someone else who could provide feedback that would be more readily accepted and incorporated. Also, there are plenty of writing tutors out there who could work with a kid to polish up an essay. I agree with mathmom that while it would be great if the essay is memorable, at least it must be not bad.</p>
<p>My d has a horrible time writing assignments for English or history classes (I am talking 2 full days to write two pages … Of mediocre quality) but loves creative writing! This essay fell in that realm and thank goodness was fairly painless for her to do. Honestly I am terrified she will flunk out of college because she won’t get her assignments done and they will be of poor quality… So I would gladly trade places with having difficulty with the college app essay!! Haha!</p>
I’ve been on a few of those sites (maybe not the best ones?) and found most of the examples to be nauseatingly sappy, overwrought, stilted and just generally trying too hard. So far, not much help.</p>
<p>S had the same problem writing about himself. Eventually he wrote about “What I Learned from Robotics Competition” (or some such thing…it was 5 years ago!). It was not in 3 or 5 paragraph essay form, but it was interesting, witty, and above all, it was HIM.</p>
<p>“many college-bound kids are of the age where they are not very willing to accept advice from their parents. We had both of our kids show their essays to someone else who could provide feedback that would be more readily accepted and incorporated.”</p>
<p>This truth is behind 80% of my business as an admissions counselor. I can’t tell you how many times a parent has seen an essay after I worked with the student and yelled “But this is everything I told him to do!” Yep. But when you say it, all he hears is “I’m trying to control you!” When I say it, he hears the advice.</p>
<p>Agree with others and decided not to post detailed answer based on great post #7. </p>
<p>Both my kids are decent writers, except about themselved. For my son I actually hired somebody to help him get traction on essays. It can be hard for a modest kid to toot his/her own horn without assurances that it is appropriate.</p>
<p>My son is the math and science kid who is “English challanged”. His first attempt at his essays was horrible such that he really didn’t want me to see them ever again. I sat down and just talked thru the subject matter. When he made a statement, I would ask him why he said such a thought. He would have an answer. I then pointed out that his answer is what the college was looking for in his essay. He finally got the point after about a 15 minute discussion. </p>
<p>He still wouldn’t let me see his essays until just before he submitted them, but I was surprised at the quality of them. Not perfect, but they definitely got the point across. </p>
<p>I believe, like several others, that most high school kids have never had such an open ended question as they get for their college essays. They don’t know where to start. But once they figure out where to start, they have the skills to write a decent essay (or they should if they are thinking about college).</p>
<p>My S also is math and sciency and the essay was the biggest torture of the process followed second by the interviews. Since he knew he wasn’t the type to make a “my typical day” or “dinner at my house” interesting, he figured it would be largely in the topic. He thought - what about himself would an admissions person (or any person looking for interesting/bright/unusual kids) want to know? So he told the story of a somewhat unusual project he undertook. I guess the hope was that the story and the message would have a greater impact than the writing. I think he made in that 80% and really that’s all we hoped for.</p>