<p>Are you kidding! People who go to Harvard, (at least the ones I have met) love to say they went to Harvard, even if you don’t ask them.</p>
<p>^That’s how it should be! Take pride in where you go…who cares what other people think! (That’s the main reason why I didn’t like this thread to begin with; it had a negative attitude about how other people look down upon kids who go to top schools, whereas I really do think that it is the kids who go to these top schools who should have more confidence about not caring what others may think,)</p>
<p>Oh, and pink001, calc teachers definitely need to get a life and to stop drinking so much coffee…makes them smell awful! (I’m so afraid to ask a question in class on account of I might pass out from the “toxic” fumes! :))</p>
<p>i think it comes down to the person truely,whether they want to say it or not. some people would trumpet their Harvard and Yale acceptances like it was they way they breath across the neighborhood, the school, town, and if they can…the state, the country, and the world.
I personally can’t even say it to my own friends. when i was applying, it was the same thing. i don’t know why but it has always felt so awkward for me. when people ask me, i simply say “Boston”. It’s not that i’m not prideful of now being flushed in the crimson tide, but i think it’s just that i don’t feel comfortable saying it when you have people who are jealous enough to almost kill you because of where you got it (there are many of peopel like that at my school), because of the misconceptions so many people have and the labels they apply like, “…you must be super rich… you are super smart…” etc…etc… and the fact that those people you tell will tell more people like my close family friends have been doing… that’s the stragest psotiion to be in. I’m standing there nicely talking about the weather outside or something to my friend “Lucy” then she see another one of her buds across the way, so she yells for her to come over just so that she can tell her friend where i’m going to school. …</p>
<p>but at the same time, it’s always entertaining when someone asks…and asks again…and again and you finally say, “I’m going to Harvard or Yale” then their eyes pop out of their heads and they’re like, “Really?” and sometimes you feel like you showed them you have some brains in that head of yours… :]</p>
<p>^ See delusions of grandeur and egotistical to boot.</p>
<p>iamsounsure, you’re the type of person that makes us feel awkward about saying we’re going to Harvard. The preconceived notion that Harvard students are any more arrogant or egocentric than any other 18-22 year olds in the country is stupid. </p>
<p>To kind of echo what other people have already said, I’d rather not have to stand up against any stereotypes of what a Harvard student is or isn’t; people don’t need to know that I’m going to the best school in the country to see who I am as a person.</p>
<p>Yes, it is the best school in the country.
Yes, I am DAMN proud to be a freshman at Harvard in the fall.
No, I’d rather not have people assume I’m an asocial academic based on that.
No, I’m not full of myself.</p>
<p>AmbitiousMind07: I’m a Y grad and like what NSM said, unless I’m in a setting where a high no. of Ivy-type grads are present, my college rarely gets mentioned.</p>
<p>Do you know the cousin or neighbor who brags incessantly about what their youngster does? Do you know how quickly it quashes the conversation? Same thing: dropping the H-bomb or Y-bomb.</p>
<p>I work in the NFP field where many of my contemporaries and associates have barely graduated HS. It’s easy for one to say: “why do you care what they think?” I care because I care about my working relationship with them and want them to see me as an equal (when we are), as an subordinate (sometimes) or as a senior (sometimes) based on my actions and accomplishment (not some alien label such as Yale graduate).</p>
<p>From reading the posts, it’s clear who IS a harvard or yale student/alum and who isn’t. </p>
<p>And imsounsure: the tone of your posts is quite noisome. From initially asking for school advice due to your poor HS performance but good SATs to now slamming all sorts of folks. You’ve become quite the ■■■■■ in a very short time – snidely cruising forums like this, looking to skewer those “uppity” Harvard people. Why don’t you spend your time focusing on your own college search? It certainly won’t be here.</p>
<p>As someone who was rejected from Harvard, but is going to Cornell, I’ll chime in. No it’s not Harvard, but it elicits a fair number of “Ivy League” comments as well.</p>
<p>When talking about colleges, I never ask anyone where they’re going. If I ask someone and they say “Oh, I’m going to X State”, and then they ask where I"m going and I say Cornell, I’m seen as being arrogant because I asked them even though I knew I was going to a better school. If someone asks me, I have no problem telling them I’m going to Cornell. I’m very modest about it, sometimes even to the point of “I have no idea how, but I got in” because I’m really not like that, but I see no reason to be ashamed of it.</p>
<p>As far as the parents who brag about their kid getting into HYP whatever, I think that’s out of place. My parents tell their friends that I got into Cornell, but they don’t drag it out or anything. I understand not wanting to be socially awkward after mentioning it, but I feel like you should be proud of what you’ve done, and not hide it from people.</p>
<p>It’s funny, I work in a lab and have had an internship at a doctors office, and both places I’ve mentioned I’m going to C and they’re all very impressed and congratulatory, whereas a lot of friends give me looks and make snide comments. I think it’s interesting how the level of someone’s education can really affect how they view your accomplishments. It’s not true for all, but the vast majority of people I’ve met that were excited for me, were very well educated.</p>
<p>You are damned if you do and damned if you don’t.
For parents… if you run into friends and they say, Hey Johnny got into School X we are so proud where is your D going? I always say hey congrats, great school what is Johnny interested in studying etc." and then say that D is going to Harvard and you’d be suprised at reactions, “OH MY GAWD!”…“Really, I always heard the ivies are overrated” to “Oh well so much for my news”, whereas then I don’t know what to say. Its a shame that I can’t be as excited as Johnny’s mom as to where my kids are going because others might perceive it as arrogant.
As for the kids if you say “I go to school in Boston” and then they press it out of you and then you say Harvard you may be giving peorple the impression that you think its so awesome that you don’t want them to feel bad about their school…which is kind of insulting to them But if you come right out and say Harvard then some might think you are bragging so what to do. Its a no win situation. We should all be able to be proud of where we go or our kids go… whether its the local CC or Harvard,Yale or whatever…</p>
<p>It struck me as strange that people avoided dropping the H-bomb.
Now I can understand why. My family has become quite reticent too
over the last year. Sad given how badly we have been doing financially
and this being one of the few things my family has to greet the
dark times with. </p>
<p>The atmosphere does turn chilly amongst parents. It is downright
ugly sometimes amongst peers who were rejected.</p>
<p>Looking back, here is what I recall:
It is in a way weird that during my senior year when I got accepted at
MIT (EA-December) and Stanford (Likely Letter-February) people were
all smiles and hugs. Even Princeton did not generate the level of
negativity the Harvard admission did. </p>
<p>It gets really bad in summer and then comes back strong during Thanksgiving
and the holidays. The good news is that after some time you will learn
to cope and deal effectively with the responders and their insecurities
that are sadly enough causing these reactions.</p>
<p>You will soon hear a bunch of these that signal the start of an
H-attack:</p>
<p>“My son/daughter did not bother to apply” from relatives </p>
<p>“your parents must be very rich” </p>
<p>“Oh, I hear you guys will all get As. For us it is going to be
very difficult …” from peers who should know better</p>
<p>“I would not have figured you for one of those rich snooty kids” from well meaning
old timers</p>
<p>“Actually it is better to go to University X because their fly swatting (fill in creative
sub-speciality in an obscure area) is better than anything at Harvard” from the
peers who have “no regrets” </p>
<p>“we told our son/daughter not to apply because we thought it
would change him/her into a spoiled brat/money focused/greedy (take a pick)
person”</p>
<p>“Didn’t the unabomber go there?” the classic frontal attack (yes, people
actually use this)</p>
<p>Sometimes honesty when not couched appropriately can be hurtful.
So even if you are annoyed enough try to make it more palatable
and not as naked as the thoughts below on CC: luck had vey little to do with why you
are at H; you did not come from a rich family; you slaved away at a
gadzillion things which you failed at and suceeded spectacularly at a few; everyone
holds the reins of their own destiny; bad luck will occur but you can overcome it
with diligence and preparation :)</p>
<p>… or conceal the fact that you go to H! of course as wise CC’ers know it would
be hard to conceal the effulgent halo that appears behind you :)</p>
<p>Haha… as an international, my experiences have been quite different. i don’t like to blurt out that im going to H unnecessarily, but when people ask me what my plans are, i usually say: “i’m going to study in the US.” and then they’re all, ‘wow!’ sometimes they say, “you must be really smart,” and sometimes theyre just amazed that id go so far away from home… sometimes they actually ask which uni im going to, and then i tell them H, and they’re like, “wow, you got a scholarship?” so the “oh, you’re one of those rich kids” thing never comes up - they automatically assume im not! haha…</p>
<p>as for my friends and relatives and stuff, most of them are genuinely pleased for me… i guess i’m just lucky.</p>
<p>Oh, i did get one kind of weird response (to the “im going to study in the US” thing). One person said to me “Oh, you couldn’t get into a university here?” and then gave me a look that said, “shame - you have to go so far away just because no uni here will take you.” But that’s off topic, since they didn’t know im going to H…</p>
<p>
Maybe, you only know about those Harvard students/alum who DO like to talk about it. You are likely unaware of those who chose to keep it private. Your conclusion does not have all the data.</p>
<p>Initially, my H, D, and I did tell some people but they were all close friends, family, or people who had a true interest in where my D was attended. Now, None of us bring it up. If directly asked, none of us do the dance around the answer (yet) and will say Harvard but we never bring it up first. </p>
<p>
Lisewise, I have noticed that neither D nor I are willing to ask people where their child will be going to school next year because it looks like we are setting the other person up to have to ask where D is going to college and therefore give us the opportunity to brag about Harvard. So, we don’t ask.</p>
<p>We did have a nice encounter this weekend though. This Saturday, my daughter was needing new pointe shoes. In the store she was wearing her Harvard T-shirt (from before she was accepted) but everyone wears those. It did not cause any assumptions. During the fitting, the owner was talking to my daughter about college, was she going to study dance (no), what was she going to study, etc. All along either of us could have mentioned the word Harvard but opted not to. Eventually, the owner asked where D would be attending school and D told her Harvard. From that point on, D got fabulous advice on the best studios around Harvard to take open class. The owner wrote up the information so D could remember and everything. Had we had any way of knowing her reaction, we would have openly brought it up at the beginning. </p>
<p>Synth, I love your samples of responses you’ve received.</p>
<p>Some of the prejudiced comments I’ve seen on this thread (whether in jest or genuine in nature) are pretty much the reason why I and many of my friends tend to say “a college in Boston/Cambridge/Massachusetts.” It becomes a conversation killer when people either interrogate you, challenge you, or become awkward because they feel intimidated.</p>
<p>And what’s wrong with not being truthful and saying you go to a State school?</p>
<p>I think that would be an example of a “white lie” since both you and the other party win.</p>
<p>I think one better way of dealing with this is to actually make the conversation about Boston, rather than just saying ‘I go to school in Boston.’ I think the problem about saying you go to Harvard is that it puts up a perceived difference between you and the person you’re talking to (whether that’s from your end or theirs, positive or negative). When people think you’re different, it’s harder to make a connection with them. By focusing on Boston, something everyone can relate to and have an opinion about, you reintroduce shared experience, knowledge, etc. and put you back on a similar footing. Something like:</p>
<p>Person 1: Where are you going to school next year?
Person 2: Oh, Harvard. I’m excited, but I’m a little worried it’s going to be too cold.</p>
<p>or Harvard, I’m looking forward to going to Red Sox games, or I hear the cannolis in Boston are awesome. Or even, there are some great book stores in Cambridge. </p>
<p>Then you can nicely ask them about what they’re doing next year and act genuinely interested and it all works out well.</p>
<p>People (outside close friends and family) will always try to make you feel bad for your accomplishments. That’s why it sucks saying anything. </p>
<p>The best example I have of this is my good friend who was just accepted to a third-tier university. I was really happy for him because I knew it was where he wanted to go, because he wants to major in engineering and this school is mostly known for engineering. </p>
<p>Well, when I got into Yale (I also want to major in engineering), he didn’t even say congratulations. All he said is “you do realize that NO engineering recruiters come to Yale. I’m gonna get a job way faster than you.” and all I did was laugh and say “yup, probably.” I mean, what else could I do? I’m not gonna argue how great Yale is and sound like a jerk. But when HE argues how great his third-tier school is over Yale, he’s fine. </p>
<p>Like T26E4 said, you can tell which posters have actually experienced telling someone they go to Harvard/Yale/Ivy, and which posters are just making unfounded assumptions about the perceived “arrogance” of these students/alums. No one’s blowing this out of proportion.</p>
<p>iamsounsure-word</p>
<p>I just tell them where I’m going. I mean seriously get over it. I can’t believe there’s a thread solely devoted to this. No one really cares that much. It’s way more awkward/makes you look way more arrogant if you dance around the subject. Bottom line: it’s a college, just like everyone else’s. And it IS where you going; why would you lie about that?</p>
<p>"How many Harvard students does it take to screw in a light bulb?</p>
<p>Just one. He grabs the bulb and waits for the world to revolve around him."</p>
<p>The original joke was how many egomaniacs… I remember reading it in Reader’s Digest.</p>
<p>i am applying to a few ivies next year but my top choice is H and my mom tells EVERYONE that i am going to apply. it makes me so mad. she even told the guy in the alltel store that i “am going next year” even though i am currently a junior. it *<em>**es me off so much that she says that (i later told him that that was not true.) because we were at the mall a few months ago and someone was wearing a harvard law shirt and i got all excited and she said “yeah, well. you can buy those at goodwill.” </em>. UGH!
and yeah i agree. i don’t like to tell people where i want to go to school. if they ask i just say i dont know or the northeast because i feel awkward too like they think i think i am better than everyone.</p>
<p>One seems pretentious when one tells someone that they are going to a school of that caliber.</p>