How did BS change your child?

<p>Whoa, P’1234, I’m impressed. Sounds like your child has a strong resume. Messiest room in 30 years is hard to beat. Still, I think my son can contend for grubbiest pig in BS today. In this light, my son hit his stride last year was when one of his teachers conducted class one day in his filthy room in order to shame him into cleaning it up. My son didn’t flinch. After that class, my boy just piled his underwear and socks higher. I’m surprised that the school didn’t condemn his living quarters and throw him out. We have. Why do you think he is at boarding school now?</p>

<p>You guys have me totally beat in messy kids! I am laughing so hard I can hardly read your posts. Thanks for sharing!</p>

<p>S’45, don’t give up so soon. As I recall from your various posts from the past, your son still has a couple of years left at Avon to improve his game, although I do agree that it will be hard for him to displace Parent1234’s son as the reigning Duke of Dirt.</p>

<p>Love it, all. I thought it was very funny that the only comment from the BS so far was on the tidiness, or lack thereof…and improvements on!!!..his new dorm room. Yes, he was a slob at home…glad he is improving…but this is a sideshow… we are even more relieved that this seems to be the only thing they can find fault with so far!!! I also sense the truth in much of what has been said here…the BS, at its best, seems to bring out the best in the kid, not create what was never there. Still, in 8th grade, with S ‘potential’ is all over the map…yes, basic intelligence…yes, trying hard to fit in with the peer group (and that alone can make BS worthwhile if the peer group is more positive-influence kids…including those ‘smarties’ who caught the brunt of it in the usual middle school environment (uh, like me…))…yes, it seems that with the ‘mistakes of youth’ and the ‘inner drive’, my S can go either way…a treacherous crossroads indeed. And so the question whether the BS can make or break the kid…one who could go either way. Bright, peer-influenced, naive, has no idea of what is at stake…stubbon yet malleable…</p>

<p>BS stands out for few things in our family. It was the venue for opportunity,as local school’s resources were primarily exhausted by 10th grade. It was incredibly eye-opening to the child, who never attended a school with so many talented people. And, it made the young one mature at warp speed.</p>

<p>The results are great many years later.College was not a leap, but almost a step back from the hardships and demands of BS. BS was where child endured, not prevailed. In college, child prevailed. And, by that fact, grad school has been received as a world of great choices. </p>

<p>I look back to BS. Without it, I do not think many of the events of the past few years would have transpired.</p>

<p>I note the BS was an extraordinary school which has literally 100’s of alums (in child’s class) which have done similar or even greater things.</p>

<p>And, knowing all this – I knew to never send other child there. It is not for everyone. To the opposite.</p>

<p>FatherofBoarder - could you elaborate on the “hardships and demands” of BS that you note in your post? Looking back, would you say your child was generally happy during his/her 4 years away?</p>

<p>Boarding school was great for my son…until his junior and senior year…as they mature there is alot of temptation on all of the BS campuses…alot of behind the scenes drinking, drugs, and sex. Take you head out of the sand , it is there. My son survived by the skin of hs teeth and is a freshman in a very good University. My son and his friends always talk about how well BS prepared them for college, I guess that could mean alot of things ?? Do not be fooled, although the majority of BS students are great kids, they are still all adolescents trying to fit in while away from home, BS can only provide so much guidance, and BS are not perfect by any means.</p>

<p>*FatherofBoarder - could you elaborate on the “hardships and demands” of BS that you note in your post? Looking back, would you say your child was generally happy during his/her 4 years away? *</p>

<p>No matter how academic a kids is – the homework at child’s BS was intense. Many students stay up at night because of the issue. And, required EC’s make economizing time a must.</p>

<p>Demands were high because the peers performed at high level – really a peer-to-peer matter.</p>

<p>My very simple rule of thumb, if your child is not top 3% of class, try to dissuade certain BS’s. And, even if child is top 3%, if skin is thin and becoming middle of the class will ruin self esteem (after years of being the chosen one in class) then stay away from certain BS’s. </p>

<p>Comment on last post about child boozing Junior and Senior year – I really do not think it would have been avoided in day school and interest is not a byproduct of BS. Heck, we have a saying here for Boy Scouts attempting to be Eagle Scouts – get them to finish product before the three liquids catch their attention: gasoline, perfume and liquor.</p>

<p>Thanks Father of the Boarder for some reality check for those of us in the BS Bubble.</p>

<p>Father of the Boarder - thank you so much for your candid comments - they are extremely helpful as we put together our final list of schools. My instincts were along the lines of your comments, but is hard to separate stereotypes of certain schools from what is actually factual.</p>