<p>This is not a new insight and apologies to those who have gone before me in noticing this- the appeal of the so called “elite” colleges varies tremendously even among the wealthy. From the outside looking in all rich people seem the same- but of course that’s not true. You’ve got Old New England/Yankee money (a falling down old and gracious house in Concord, they vacation in a gorgeous but falling down “cottage” in Maine); you’ve got rock stars and people in the entertainment industry; you have the top of the professional class (partners in white shoe law firms, etc.) and then a huge sector of the “self made”- dad started as a landscaper with one truck and one employee, and now has the municipal contracts for a bunch of cities and manages waste, recycling, lawn services and for country clubs, etc. Manages a fleet of 200 trucks and a few thousand employees. </p>
<p>The appeal of the expensive U’s varies tremendously among these people, even if their net worth’s are relatively similar. I’ve known some very successful parents who want nothing more for their kids than to go to either the flagship public (where they might have gone) or a second tier, not so elite LAC where there is access to great recreational opportunities, good sports, and not so hard academics. An acquaintance of mine who got lucky and built a successful business years ago wants her girls at a college where they can get into the “right” sorority-- public or private, doesn’t matter, and her son at any college where he won’t have to work too hard.</p>
<p>It is too simplistic to look at the people who COULD pay full freight and assume that this is even what they want for their kids. Old money New England? for sure. I had a boss who owned three houses and not a comfortable place to sit in any of them (the furniture “comes down” apparently- you don’t just walk into a store and buy matching dining room chairs). His suits were from J Press and seemed to last forever. His wife carried the handbag she probably got when she graduated from college- no Birkin’s or status items for them. He was a successful corporate executive, old family money to boot on both sides. They just didn’t spend money on “stuff” but the kids all went to prep school, all went private, full pay for college. The weddings were punch and cookies in the church basement and a small dinner for the family afterwards.</p>
<p>1) I applied to five top tier schools.
2) I chose the highest ranked one that accepted me.
3) My grandpa and dad told me congratulations and poured me a glass scotch. lol</p>
<p>All of my friends had pretty similar experiences.</p>
<p>blossom, too funny - and wouldn’t you know it what extra money we have is old Yankee money with all the old Yankee values attached it. Hand me down furniture, old cars, and old clothes… But I’ll pay for college if it kills me. :)</p>
<p>Blossom is too smart to become a moderator!</p>
<p>I haven’t read this whole lengthy thread. We made a financial decision regarding what we could pay for college. Period. It didn’t matter to us whether it was a reach, match or safety school. We had an amount we could pay, and our kids were welcome to apply anywhere they chose within the financial guidelines we set. </p>
<p>In our case, the finances really were not an issue. We had a much more stringent geographic requirement that we did NOT bend on…either 3 hour drive or less from our house OR one hour from a close friend or relative.</p>
<p>Anyway…we would have paid for a reach…no justification needed. </p>
<p>Blossoms post was great. However If someone was assuming that all wealthy people wanted to send their kids to high priced colleges I missed it.</p>
<p>I think what we CAN assume is that as the price for full pay at the top colleges increases that only those of wealth will be able to afford to pay to attend.</p>
<p>There are 9.6 million households in the USA alone that have assets of a million dollars not counting their home.<br>
It will be interesting to see where the price finally inhibits demand. There are many people, like pizzagirl, who would gladly pay more to go. </p>
<p>Where on the rankings list will it start to become apparent that those institutions are no longer valued more than the financial safety.</p>
<p>Yep…we wanted our kids to be somewhat accessible just in case there was some emergency. And in our case, we needed that when DD was sent to the ER and subsequently hospitalized for a week. A relative SND close friend were able to be there ASAP. </p>
<p>I don’t think the geographic requirement was “strict” at all. There are more than several HUNDRED colleges within a three mile drive of our home. And we have friends and family all I’ve the place.</p>
<p>For the record, DD went to college 3000 miles from home to an expensive college that we paid for.</p>
<p>It is interesting to note that Yankee money funded Vanderbilt University. Vanderbilt University (and other elite universities such as Duke and Univ of Chicago) in turn fund full tuition merit based scholarships which allows those from Old New England/Yankee money to attend for free.</p>
<p>Swimkidsdad…your post makes it sound like those full tuition awards are plentiful. They are not plentiful, and they are very competitive…and they are also awarded to folks outside of New England.</p>
<p>I was thinking about that family with $300,000 income, and what they can afford. The can afford to buy a Maserati, to have a second home, to fly business class on vacations, and to send their kids full pay to fancy colleges. But they can’t afford to do ALL of those things, at least if they want to retire at some point. Except for the ultra-rich, people at all income levels have to make choices, and they place value in different places.</p>
<p>Hunt- but they can’t afford to do ANY of those things if they live in a high tax/high cost of living area. 300K is barely getting you a primary home in NYC or SF, let alone a second home. In the NY metro area you are looking at a 45 minute commute or a 2 bedroom rental ,unless that 300K has been your income for 10+ years and you haven’t had to pay for childcare during that time.</p>
<p>300K in Cincinnati? Sure. Throw in a country club membership while you’re at it.</p>
<p>blossom, I don’t disagree–your own financial circumstances will determine what choices you have to make. There are people who keep driving 15-year-old Hondas so they can afford to send their kids to the local U, and people who keep driving 7-year-old BMWs so they can afford to send their kids to Harvard. But there may be some people who think having a Maserati is a higher value than sending their kids to an expensive college. Can we all join together in judging those people, at least?</p>
<p>That book I linked is an interesting read. I drive an old car because I do not care about cars-a car to me is to get to where I need to go. I don’t have designer anything because I don’t care about that stuff. I don’t have an expensive lifestyle because I don’t care about “stuff”. I am rather unusual like that but it works for me. I have family members that do and it makes them happy and good for them. I don’t care what anyone else does as long as I don’t have to foot the bill for their irresponsibility.</p>
<p>I don’t judge anybody by what they do it’s none of my business. </p>
<p>If people want to make judgments based on decisions I make who cares? I am comfortable with them and they work for my family. </p>
<p>We all place different values on everything. So what? My concern as a parent is to provide the best upbringing I can for my children-education is a big part of it but it certainly isn’t the only part. </p>
<p>Hunt, I think a lot of us here can join together and say we disagree with those who prefer Maseratis to better colleges, but I don’t think we should judge them. Most of my own family is of that ilk; they think wife and I are snobs for doing the private HS, elite college thing. And we get along great and they are wonderful uncles to my kids, but their kids have all gone state flagship and absolutely rocked with their engineering and finance degrees. They don’t think I’m stupid, but they have a much more functional view of a college education. Yes, they are card carrying conservatives who look askance at the liberal elite, but they are also very smart, very hard working, very good people. We just see education differently, and I’m not convinced I’m right.</p>
<p>Agree. No need to judge (and we also don’t have fancy cars, expensive watches or handbags).And here we go again. Just because a school is “expensive” doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the best option. </p>
Well, if this is being non-judgmental, maybe I’m not really judgmental, either. If somebody is so bone-headed as to think, wrongly, that owning a Maserati is more important than his kid’s education, who am I to judge?</p>