<p>There are many many colleges with Freshman retention > 85%, 4 year grad rates > 70% with acceptance rates > 60%. That was our criteria as well. Sprinkle in some geographic boundaries and a few other subjective items and we were set.</p>
<p>
Consider yourself lucky that you had that many options!</p>
<p>I think in this century, any college in the country can be accessed easily enough that we would not put any geographic restrictions on our kids in terms of where to apply. In the olden days, “kids” that age would even take ocean liners thousands of miles to the New Country and have only the occasional letter home, if that.</p>
<p>So having to go through a commuter airport is just not a big deal (!). If someone is old enough to live on his/her own, earn money, take care of getting everything done, have presumably adult sexual/romantic relationships, plan/work toward a career - then that person is old enough to travel more than “three hours” or whatever.</p>
<p>My mom used to tell me how she would take the train to and from college (I think she would have started college in 1947) – it took 3 days to get from her home in Texas to Northampton, Mass!</p>
<p>I know that overall it was easier for me to get my kids back and forth from NY to the SF Bay area than to traverse the 240 miles between my city and Arcata, CA. (Very scenic, but very long drive). </p>
<p>I was also a lot more comfortable with the idea of the kids taking a cab or public transit to/from an airport and sitting on board a commercial flight than my son driving on the road for 5 hours. Especially with the ability to track flights online.</p>
<p>But, to each his own. If other parents are more comfortable with specific geographical limits, so be it. . </p>
<p>" then that person is old enough to travel more than “three hours” or whatever."</p>
<p>Since this thread is essentially about money, for many, distant schools can just be too expensive to consider. Normally kids want to come home for Thanksgiving, end of semester, spring break and again at the end of the semester. Depending on your home airport and where the college is that can add up to $1000 a pop vs a few tanks of gas. Then there are shipping and storage fees. Many parents talk about just popping over to BB and B to just “pick up” everything you need (since the parents can afford to fly out with the student and then rent a car or get cabs) rather than shipping dorm supplies like it is no big deal. For many that is cost prohibitive as well.</p>
<p>I know someone will reply back with a story about how their kid takes a 4 day bus form the east to the west coast with money from a summer job and does so with only the pack on their back strategically loaded for the entire school year, and then doesn’t come home for breaks but rather stays on campus and works some more…lol. I am saying that in general a fly in college adds a huge amount to sticker price that is already unmanageable for many.</p>
<p>I think planner03 makes a good point about the added cost of distant schools. The reality is that most kids go to school locally or within about 200 miles of home. One of my kids was almost 3 hours and the other five hours driving distance from home But both were within driving distance and no planes had to be involved. Staying within driving distance also meant we could visit and go to parent’s events, football games,etc. </p>
<p>We didn’t put geographic limits on our son and won’t with our daughter, although since she plans to be a performing-arts major, it would be nice if she were relatively close so we can see her shows. But we have factored in the cost of travel. My son is a 13-hour drive away and my daughter is likely to be about 9 if she sticks with her top choice. Both are/will be within a half hour or so of a local airport, which is important since those distances are too great to drive for breaks (and I wouldn’t want young drivers going that far alone, especially in the winter). The hassle comes from the fact that I am not near a major airport myself, so everything requires connections unless we drive a few hours to a big hub. That is part of the reason I am considering moving when my D graduates…I don’t see either kid coming back to our hometown down the road, although of course they will want to see their friends.</p>
<p>Our geographic limits are driven only by convenience (ours, not theirs), cost and to help support focus. When you give someone a choice of “anywhere?” that isn’t very helpful. In 20 years? they’ll be debates about the value of leaving home at all what with the proliferation of online options and other e-learning enhancements.</p>
<p>Our “geographic limit” is broad enough to give them the OOS experience (500 miles) if that is what they’re looking for (none yet) but close enough that we can have an extraction plan that gets them home in a day without dropping a thousand bucks.</p>
<p>It takes seven hours from where I live to even get OUT of my state let alone to OOS university. </p>
<p>I didn’t get the opportunity to see let alone consider an OOS university. But my family chose universities that one take of gas could get you there and back. We’re not that far away, but far enough that you can’t just drop in. </p>
<p>This sounds like a case of YMMV…literally. ;)</p>
<p>I wouldn’t put limits on where my kids go but I am very happy my son is an hour away-we have had a few very sad things happen suddenly and it was wonderful he could get home quickly to be with us. The money involved would not be an issue for us but it is for a lot of families and his friends who are a distance away come home less-but he rarely comes home these days either but it’s nice to know he is up the street!</p>
<p>My daughter is looking much further and it is her decision-but again if finances were part of the decision it would become an important factor.</p>
<p>I had a very interesting talk with someone this weekend about this subject-not a CC person but a real life mother who is going to be doing the college process one last time. They appear to be very financially sound and very successful financially and career wise-I don’t think (although you never know for sure) money is an issue.</p>
<p>All of their children are going to a state U and they didn’t seem to have any qualms about it-they went their they are doing very well they loved their education there and it doesn’t seem to bother them one bit.</p>
<p>I meant when I said earlier in this thread I don’t judge people I should have been clearer. I do not think because someone appears to have the money or in fact does have the money to send their child to a Prestigious School but chooses not to that they do not love their children or value education. That is what sticks in the craw of people here who do not think the price of that education is “worth it”-whatever worth it means to them.</p>
<p>I also don’t think that people who do send their child to Prestigious School at full pay when there are other less expensive options available are clueless dolts or prestige hounds-I think they feel that it is worth it and they are very pleased to be able to provide that for their children. </p>
<p>I have been around here long enough to know the threads that are going to get people riled up-I keep asking if the OP is reading this because I so think people come here looking for answers and unfortunately it often turns into the same old debate with many times the same people-I am sure it leads to less people contributing and less help being given to people who come here with no agenda other than to get some help. </p>
<p>@GoldenState2015 if I am wrong about this please let me know. CC was a huge help to me helping my child the first time around and I hope it is being helpful to you. </p>
<p>Sure, it makes sense to look at travel costs. For us, that means we put an extra point or two on “can we get there nonstop on Southwest or is it accessible by Amtrak NE”. But the “have to be an X hour drive” business also presupposes a certain socioeconomic situation - specifically that the kid has a car (and I guess, a license, though that’s near-universal in most areas of the country) and that the parents live in an area where there are plentiful college options. It also presupposes a certain level of control of the kid’s schedule/travel/location that I think is questionable when we’re talking about young adults.</p>
<p>I grew up in a tiny town in the middle of the US where there was one local university. Any college would require extensive travel - all of us ended up on the East Coast where three of us still remain. In addition to that factoid, three of the four of us went off to college graduating HS early at age 16. This is relevant both for the “can they go so far so young?” question and the wisdom of having long drives question.</p>
<p>We had zero problems being “so far” from home and had terrific and valuable educations at prestigious colleges. It’s true that my parents missed us, I guess, but what were we supposed to do, not consider going to great schools just so that my parents would miss us less? I wouldn’t expect that of any college kid; it’s much too helicopter-y.</p>
<p>My sons have a different situation - we live a mile from Harvard/MIT and they go to school within steps of a dozen other well-known colleges in the Boston area. I don’t think it’s necessarily a good thing to stick to these close-by options because I really want them to have some diversity of experience. To me it is a negative that so many great schools are “too close”.</p>
<p>I do have to concede that I did not always go home for semester or spring breaks, for financial reasons. But I got a lot out of being on campus, even during those quiet times. It would be a negative for my family if dorms didn’t allow students to live there during school vacations, which I know is the case at some places.</p>
<p>@fretfulmother and @niquii77 thank you for reminding me that there are large areas in the country where there are not all kinds of schools within an hours drive. Living in such a small state it is easy to forget that in many areas of this country that is clearly not the case-</p>
<p>I think the presumption that “distance improves or promotes independence” is flawed from the get go. Many kids around here go to the State flagship (in town) or one of the many other top 200 Universities or LAC options within a 2 hour drive; and their experience (with regard to independence and exercised responsibility) is the same as if they were a 1/2 a country away.</p>
<p>Nowadays, with cell phones and skype-type options? Around the world or around the block, nobody is out of touch. This is more a relevant “parenting style” discussion than a distance issue.</p>
<p>@giterdone I laughed about the extraction plan! Our son is an hour away but he is in Boston which is a completely different experience than growing up on three acres-we have visited him twice to take him to lunch and have helped him move it-that is the extent of it-so he is getting the experience of being very much on his own with the added benefit of being an hour away-so it has been perfect for all involved. </p>
<p>^Ditto! D’12 chose on her own to attend University a little less than an hour away. Pretty handy for birthdays, semester breaks, moving day and such. And she handles all her logistics to work, finding an apartment, paying rent, tuition, utilities, grocery etc… on her own. And I’d say she gets home on average about once every 6 weeks. She isn’t being cheated of any independence at all.</p>
<p>Both my kids also chose schools they were potentially interested in applying to on their own. Even the 2 privates my older son considered applying to were still 4 and less than 6 hours away. All schools considered were within driving distance. Neither seemed interested in going across country . If a kid wants to go really far away and the family can afford it, great. But I don’t think it will make someone magically more independent or evolved by doing so.</p>
<p>I agree that it is more “parenting style” related. </p>
<p>I am three hours from home. I go home maybe once or twice a month for appointments, family get-togethers or if there’s nothing happening on campus and I don’t want to be in my dorm. It made my mom happy, but it got in the way of my studies. For next semester, I told her I’m only coming back for my appointments. My brother comes home more often than I do so I shouldn’t feel guilty about not seeing her, but she can’t keep me around forever…</p>
<p>Major thumbs up to the parents that allowed their kids to go out and spread their wings. I wish I had that chance and I’m still trying to break away after a year of college. </p>
<p>You’ve all made very valid points about geographic limitations, considering pros and cons and neutrals. I just want to add that for some getting out of the local context and getting the opportunity to reinvent yourself in a new and unfamiliar venue is key. I grew up in Long Island (NY) and was herded into a SUNY school. SUNY was tuition free at the time for Regents State Scholarship recipients and that was what my parents could manage. This could not have been a more unfortunate choice. I was aching to escape the people and place I’d lived in all my life and college ended up being just more of the same. This isn’t necessarily about geographic limitations as there may be colleges and universities located close by that draw people from all over the world. And some state systems draw people from all over the world. But when evaluating schools close by, it’s important to be aware of this issue. </p>
<p>@giterdone - WADR, I don’t think it’s as independent an experience if someone comes home every six weeks and gets that kind of day-to-day interaction with their parents. I love my parents; I love my children. But when they’re in college (and when I was), it’s not supposed to be the same as HS in that kind of day-to-day way. I don’t think being far/near necessarily correlates to how much involvement the parent has, but it can help/hinder.</p>
<p>Also, the idea of needing an “extraction plan” is strange to me. It sounds like the parent is still calling the shots and planning the travel, location of the kid, etc. Under what earthly conditions would a college student need to be “extracted”? College isn’t on Mars, and for this group, is not far from any normal convenience/need someone would have.</p>