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The point is it doesn’t matter what it is, most people need to give up something to meet their EFC (full pay or partial). College is a luxury, it is not a right, so people do need to make their choice on how they want to spend their money.</p>
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<p>Giving up home & car repairs, helping extended family, a divorce, etc. isn’t exactly…possible. There’s not always money that can be taken away from one thing to go to college. As I saw mentioned earlier, most people living paycheck to paycheck don’t have a choice in how they spend their money–and as I mentioned earlier, it’s smug to make a generalization that everyone can pay for a luxury college if they just sacrificed one bourgeois way of living. </p>
<p>Not everyone has some superfluous spending they can cut to afford college, and insulting those families as frivolous spenders who buy designer clothes, cars, and accessories is where the aforementioned smugness comes into play. Its in the creation of your generalization. </p>
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<p>It also shows the SES demographic of many of those on forum – the “middle class that won’t get financial aid” (i.e. $200,000+ incomes, when the median income in the US is only about a third of that for families headed by people of age to have high school or college student kids). The actual middle income families in the US are much more constrained by costs, financial aid, and scholarships in choosing college for their kids.</p>
<p>@oldfort wrote: The point is it doesn’t matter what it is, most people need to give up something to meet their EFC (full pay or partial). College is a luxury, it is not a right, so people do need to make their choice on how they want to spend their money.</p>
<p>Fully agree, just don’t think that what people give up is usually Birkin bags, or anything similar.</p>
<p>I’m pretty much with Oldfort on this one.</p>
<p>We don’t know squat about the specifics about anyone’s financial specifics on CC. The vast majority of posters agree taking out large debt to pay for college is not a good idea. So essentially we are taking about families that could possible pay a big ticket school price … and whether they chose to or not.</p>
<p>I agree it pretty much comes down to choices. Tons of them everyday … some small; stop at Starbucks every day … some not so small; where do I shop for cloths … some pretty big; where should we go for vacation and how spiffy a trip should it be … some real big; cars and houses … and paying for college.</p>
<p>Mom3ToGo and I are willing to seriously splurge on 2 things. First, the town in which we bought our house to get access to a specific public school system (I did not say we spent hog wild on the specific spiffy house) … and two, to possibly pay full fare for best fit colleges for our kids (I did not say the best fit school would necessarily be very expensive or prestigious) </p>
<p>This choice did affect many of the other spending choices and pushed out the possible early retirement date a few years … however the two things we extent into the luxury level were for our kids educations. For us we were lucky we did not have any serious setbacks and, frankly, are naturally pretty frugal … so there really aren’t a lot things we deprived ourselves of.</p>
<p>All that said I believe the power of day-to-day decisions is larger than many realize. When FirstToGo was very young I first realized the trade-off of possible car choices and her college options. For me the difference in cost of 18 years flipping leases on a nice car every 3-4 years and buying and driving basic Hondas was basically the difference of the difference between UMass and Harvard … essentially if we could afford UMass for FirstToGo (while ignoring car choices) and I was willing to drive Honda’s for about 12 years at a pop then we could be full pay at any school when she got to be college age. In the end my car choices only bought about 3 years of the upgrade to colleges. Mom3ToGo made similar vehicle choices and we already had 6 full pay years above UMass covered.</p>
<p>So to the OP’s original question … for us … it was believing that not all college experiences at the same and that we would prioritize our kids best fit choices to hopefully get a better experience … prioritizing this luxury over any other luxury and over most choices about solid quality level.</p>
<p>People always think they’d be really well off if they just earned $5,000 more a year. And they can’t possibly imagine how anyone who earns more than $25k more than them could hardly have financial woes. Yet, when you get the additional money, it’s amazing how quickly it disappears, and you wonder where it all went.</p>
<p>MrMOm- for some people that’s true. For other people, they are still living the lifestyle they had 8 years ago, several raises ago. </p>
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<p>This is exactly correct. Some people really need a reality check.</p>
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<p><a href=“More than 40% of Americans are one crisis and less than 90 days from poverty”>More than 40% of Americans are one crisis and less than 90 days from poverty;
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<p>True, and I’ve always advocated that people start saving early by putting raises into a 401k so they don’t miss the money. And you can do that even past the limits on 401k’s by putting the money into 529s, etc. But as someone who is married to someone who has a litigious ex-spouse, I can tell you that lawyers are very, very expensive and the best laid plans can disappear in an instant of someone deciding to continue a 10 year-old fight.</p>
<p>This was a huge thing when I was deciding a few weeks ago, and it’s interesting to see what everyone is saying. I got offered a few full rides, but I turned them down for the University of Miami, which is around $60K a year. I got a decent bit in scholarships and grants, but it doesn’t cover everything. I’ll be taking out somewhere between $10-20K in loans, but I’m incredibly happy with my decision. I feel that my choice was the right choice for me and I can’t see myself going anywhere else. My sister told me that I should have picked a cheaper school, because she’s staring at her debt right now as a rising junior at a school that costs a bit less. </p>
<p>I know that overcoming my debt is going to be a challenge, but I feel that the choice I made was the right choice. I’m already happy with what Miami’s been giving me and I’m not even there yet. Of course I’m scared of how I’m gonna pay back my loans, but I do believe that I made the choice that is best for me and my future.</p>
<p>Its easy for us, D decided to use all her 529’s to pay for the UG degree at twice the price of otherwise a state school, and we went for it.</p>
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<p>Maybe you wouldn’t come off as so smug if you could acknowledge that “best possible” does not always equate to most prestigious and/or most expensive— and also that most students do very well with “adequate for their needs.” </p>
<p>If you had merely written that you *believed<a href=“or” title=“felt”>/i</a> that the more expensive, private option was the best possible for your child – others would not have perceived you as smug. </p>
<p>But you got to “smug” by the dismissive attitude you have shown to others who have raised a variety of different concerns – as well as the dismissive attitude you seem to have toward the capacity of many young adults to fend for themselves at an early age, and to have the motivation and self-discipline to get a college education when their parents do not have the resources to subsidize them. </p>
<p>No one is saying that it isn’t a legitimate choice for a person who has ample resources and is fond of designer handbags to also fund a designer band college equivalent. Why not? You’ve got the money!</p>
<p>But there is a reason that people with that type of discretionary income are referred to these days as the 1%. Most people don’t have that sort of money, and are working with what they do have. </p>
<p>Again – the OP appears to be a high school student who wants to major in journalism. I’d hate to see that kid trying to guilt-trip the parents into paying for some private education at whatever is the “best” journalism program the kid can get into – when the kid can have a very bright future by getting a good education at just about any 4 year college in the nation, including choices of majors that go well beyond journalism. (Many of the most successful journalists majored in something else entirely - sometimes the key to a successful writing career is to know something about what you are planning to write about.)</p>
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No, these days college is pretty much a necessity for most people aspiring to at least a middle class lifestyle. There are some exceptions – but most young people are going to be better off if they can manage a bachelor’s degree. A master’s is quickly becoming a necessity in many lines of work.</p>
<p>But fortunately we do live in a country where there are alternatives. </p>
<p>I happen to live in a state which offers some very nice alternatives – roughly 25 regional 4-year colleges spread throughout the state, and 10 state well-regarded state U’s along with a feeder system that enables students to start at local community colleges with guaranteed transfer options into those state U’s-- plus a decent system of need-based financial aid in place. But I don’t live in this state by accident – I came to this state for its university system, and I stayed here for that reason. </p>
<p>Sending our kids to the best school (for them) was always a priority for us (along with saving for retirement so we won’t be a burden on them later). We lived below our means and made major decisions based on long-term goals. We found ourselves in a position, between savings, current earnings, and a small amount of loans, to be able to pay $100,000 over 4 years for each child (Our EFC came out slightly higher than this). This is equivalent to the cost of our state flagship, which is a highly desired school - however, D had her heart set on a small to midsize LAC. I thought we were doing well until I learned in this thread that we were still living frivolously (I didn’t even know Michael Kors made handbags, much less that they were inferior to Birkins - what’s a Birkin?) and that I “sold” my oldest child for merit money. </p>
<p>Here’s how D’s decision was reached:</p>
<p>School 1 - reach - rejected
School 2 - reach/match - accepted, 4 year COA $200,000 (well above our EFC)
School 3 - match - accepted into Honors, 4 year COA $140,000 (with merit money)
School 4 - match - accepted into Honors, 4 year COA $100,000 (with merit money)
School 5 - match - accepted, 4 year COA $60,000 (with merit money)
School 6 - safety/match - accepted, 4 year COA $50,000 (with merit money)
School 7 - safety - accepted into Honors, 4 year COA $40,000 (with merit money)</p>
<p>All of these schools met her criteria and were places where she could have thrived.</p>
<p>If we went only on prestige and chose School 2, with higher rankings and greater name recognition, we would have had to sacrifice either retirement monies or S’s education. We had made our budget very clear, so D understood that schools 2 and most likely 3 were out of the question. If we went only by money, then Schools 5, 6, or 7 would be the choice.</p>
<p>We revisited a couple of schools on accepted student’s days. School 4 was the school that made her light up. She loved the location, the campus, everything about it. It just felt “right”. Since the school was within our budget, there was no reason to force her to one of the other schools. She did know that if she chose a less expensive school, we would use some of the savings to fund travel for her - but her heart was set on School 4. One year in, her experience has been everything we’d hoped for. She is in the top % of her school academically, but the small seminar classes in the Honors program are exactly what she wanted, and she’s found herself plenty challenged. </p>
<p>Taking on crippling debt for a “dream” school is never a good approach, but since D chose a school that fit our constraints (granted, at the upper limit), we were fine paying more than we would have at some other schools. But I guess we were choosing between a financial match and safety, not reach and safety.</p>
<p>@calmom </p>
<p>I asked this question because on various threads when people do the “Help should I choose X school or Y school” most of the comments suggest attending the cheaper option even sometimes if it is HYPPS.
But there are the kids that choose to attend the more expensive option for various reasons and I wanted to know what those were. Additionally, I wanted to know how parents (who reap the consequences of paying for an expensive school much sooner than the student) justify in paying that amount especially if there are other children currently or will be attending college.</p>
<p>On the car analogy…the thing is that while an expensive nameplate may have the “kewl” options, you can often find the same options at a lower price point on a less prestigious brand. My Toyota has more options that some Lexuses (Lexi?) but I would never spend the money for the Lexus name. The value is not there.</p>
<p>The same applies to colleges. Most of the top tier schools live off their names. There are hundreds of awesome schools, especially for undergrad. What it really comes down to for many is pure ego. I am not immune, it would have been cool to tell the less-well-informed that my kid was going to MIT or Cal-Tech. However, to send him there would have meant his siblings would not only get zero help from us, but they would also be the ones sacrificing for his benefit. At the end of the day, the cream rises to the top. The smartest and most highly driven students will excel at any above average school. (and even at some bad ones)</p>
<p>I don’t begrudge anyone making the more expensive options, but I feel bad for kids who got bad advice and went into debt for the ‘dream’ school when ten years from now they would be much better off at a more affordable alternative.</p>
<p>If you want to be President, you should probably go to Harvard or Yale at some point. Otherwise, get the best VALUE education you can.</p>
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<p>And again, it’s important to remember that all hiring is local. Many hiring managers will gravitate toward the applicant from the local flagship or small college they are familiar with over the candidate from the fancy college, especially if fancy-college guy comes in with an attitude of superiority.</p>
<p>@GoldenState2015 </p>
<p>What do you think the “various reasons” are? </p>
<p>It seems to me that most parents who allow their kids to go to a much more expensive (out of pocket) school than they have to, do so simply because… they have the money and don’t mind spending it. Does it have to be more complicated than that? We all have different financial situations and different attitudes on spending our money. </p>
<p>VZamyatin (nice to see he is not forgotten!) has a good point. Each family has a different financial situation and a different set of values.</p>
<p>I think there’s a difference between incurring huge amounts of debt for the more expensive school and being able to afford it without taking out loans. We are able to pay for college without taking out loans or shortchanging retirement savings; that makes us fortunate and, perhaps, the exception rather than the rule. But we expected that, when it was time for college, our family would not qualify for financial aid, so we have been saving since the first child was born.</p>
<p>I, personally, never would shortchange retirement savings to pay for college, and I also would want to avoid a situation where I was taking out loans for my student. So, had we not been able and willing to pay full price at the kid’s top choice school, we would have looked for the best combination of quality, fit and affordability.</p>
<p>Keep in mind that the most affordable school also will vary by family, depending on one’s finances. Sometimes, the “best” school also will be the least expensive.</p>
<p>@calmom
You are preaching to the choir. Do you think I came from money? How do you think I paid for college? Your smugness is unless people have your standard of living then they are some how immoral. For your information, it is not sinful to live well, especially when the money is earned the old fashion way.
@sally305
No, I don’t think so. We live in a global economy. I have managed teams in India, HKG, UK, South America. I know selective unies we would hire from at each of those countries.</p>