I am currently enrolled as a computer science major. However, I lost my passion for computer science after I took my class First Semester Freshman year. I found out that it was not what i truly wanted to do. I did not do well in the class as well. I also do not want to take 4 levels of calculus. I am not super good at math either. I would not mind taking 2 levels of calc/math but not 4. My true passion is psychology. I took it in both high school and college and got a B+ and A. I truly enjoyed the class. I enjoyed the subject matter and studying for it was not a chore for me, but rather an actual interest. I terribly miss my psych class and would almost do anything to be in it again. As of right now, I am not allowed to major in psychology. My parents fear that i will not get a job with that major. I appreciate their consideration for me, but psychology is my passion. I am well aware of the risk, and am willing to take it. I plan on going to grad school and possibly minoring in something to make myself more qualified. I am mostly interested in I/0 psych, marketing psych and school counseling. I cannot possibly see myself in a computer science major. I dread taking those classes. If i do indeed follow a career path in CS i will only be doing it for the money. This is a big issue for me because it often makes me sad (very sad) and I dwell on the issue and cant stop thinking about it. I am noticeably sad and down when i do think about having to major in something i really do not like. I fear bringing up the issue again because I do not want get in trouble or to come out the wrong way. I appreciate everything i have , but this is something that i really need to talk about and change. What is your advice?
I guess I’d approach it this way–“I gave it a shot but Computer Science isn’t for me and those particular classes made me feel miserable. I plan to become a psychologist. They charge about $200/hour* and I will be able to make a very good living as a doctor.”
I would back up and let them absorb this.
*that’s the going rate where I live. It might be more or less depending on where you are–find this out.
Basically, your parents want to be assured you will make a good living and be able to support yourself and your family when the time comes.
Your parents need to realize that if you do not like CS, you are unlikely to make much money doing it.
Are they threatening to stop paying for your college if you change your major?
im not sure, they haven’t said it directly, i fear that will happen though
Do you think that would be a bluff, or would they actually do that and disown you?
they might not want to pay for a major they believe is risky,
You can study psychology and beef up your resume by taking some statistics courses. Practical, but not as hard as calculus! They will serve you well for grad school, and give you some concrete skills to use in the marketplace in the event you decide not to go to grad school. Psychology majors who have had some math/statistics/finance courses can do well; I worked with plenty of them in marketing/advertising. A bit of research online will give you some solid arguments you can present to your parents.
thank you very much,
This is one of my favorite subjects (parents not “allowing” their children to major in whatever they want). I think it’s great for parents to guide their children, make suggestions, or help their children figure out what would work best for them—but I think it’s completely out of line for a parent to insist on a particular major.
First, I assume that their leverage over you is that they are paying for your college costs. If NOT, they then have no say in your choice of major. Go ahead and major in psychology.
If they ARE paying, are they threatening to cut off the funds if you do not major in computer science? Or are they just trying to influence you without the threat of cutting off the funds?
If the latter, then my advice is this: Tell them that you have very little talent in CS, that you have spoken to the CS professors about it, and that they agree that you have little talent and will have a hard time being successful professionally in the CS field. Then thank them for their career advice and tell them that their insistence on a great career has made you realize that psychology is the way to go. Then go major in psychology. YOU are the one who registers for classes, not them. In fact, by law they don’t even have the right to see your transcripts. Of course, that’s a hard line to take because you want to have a good relationship with your parents, but this will affect the rest of YOUR LIFE. So you have to do what you have to do.
If majoring in CS is a condition for their paying for college, then you will have a lot of convincing to do. Here are some steps:
–Take the same tack as I suggested above. Tell them that you have very little talent in CS, that you have spoken to the CS professors about it, and that they agree that you have little talent and will have a hard time being successful professionally in the CS field. I assume they would trust an authority like a professor in the field.
–Then say that your psychology professors have told you that you have a real talent for psychology.
–I/O psychology is a GREAT field, btw. But your parents are probably unfamiliar with it. So you need to give them the data. Go online and do some research. Talk to people in the field. go to LinkedIn and search out successful people in that field and show your parents those LinkedIn profiles. Do your parents work for large companies that might have I/O professionals? If so, search them. Perhaps these are people your parents know and respect in their company and did not realize that they have degrees in I/O psychology. Go to your college’s career center and get data on the field that you can present to your parents.
– If you are thinking about school psych, you have to show them what the job market is like for school psychologists. Find that data online. School psychologists with a PhD make over $100k after several years of experience—plus excellent benefits and pension (you don’t have to put away very much if any of your annual salary to save for retirement) that really make the salary equivalent to a lot more. But the real benefit of being a school psychologist is that you can have a private practice either to supplement a school job or full time after getting several years of school experience under your belt. Doing educational testing in a private practice can be VERY lucrative. You can charge $3k to $5k for each battery of tests. And parents pay this out of pocket because they are desperate to get answers about what’s wrong with their child. Even if you test just three kids a week, that’s $9,000 minimum PER WEEK.
–Emphasize the DOCTOR aspect of it. You want to be a doctor of psychology.
Good luck!
I don’t understand parents who “pay for a major.” We are paying for our children’s education. They get to decide what they want to study. Every person has interests, strengths and weaknesses. You can either go with your gifts or you can reject them in favor of something you think will be more lucrative, but I know very few people who have been successful doing the latter. They always end up either unsuccessful at their work, or successful at work and nowhere else in their lives. It’s just not worth it.
Rather than worrying what your parents will do if you change your major, why not tell them and find out for sure? They may freak out initially, but they will eventually come around when they see your commitment to your field of study and your success in it. And if they refuse to pay, it may take you longer to get a degree, but you’ll still be better off taking 6 or 7 years to get a degree in a field that interests you than in pursuing something you hate and aren’t good at.
There is no shame in doing something like CS for the money.
I understand where your parents may be coming from, and wonder if some of your current poor outlook on your CS courses reflects on a particular course or professor, vs whether it really is a problem long term.
I applaud you for considering your parents opinion in your decision-making process, especially if they are footing the bill. And I fully believe that the amount of money involved can and does matter - perhaps way more than many privileged people here at CC (myself included) are fully able to consider.
Lots of kids change majors. Some of them need to spend more time and perhaps more tuition as a result of this. Will this mean that you’ll need an additional year of UG? If you are looking for a doctorate, how do you expect to pay for this? With a CS degree, would/could you begin working right after you graduate? Financially, what would the result of a change in major mean for you after 2, 5, or 10 years?
The best way to make a decision is to make an informed one, using the best available information. Your parents know you, you know yourself, but you haven’t shared much about the other important variables here. And you don’t have to, of course. If you do decide to ask your parent’s blessing to change majors, the best way to convince them is to show that you have considered this very carefully, that you have thought about so many different implications.
You’ve gotten some good advice above, but your parents advice is also important. Remember that they may not know as much as you about some things, but they will know much more about others. It is okay to tactfully remind them of this as you ask for their opinion - letting them know you value, need, and want to fully consider their opinion in connection with all the other information you get - after all, that is what they have taught you as they have helped prepare you to make these important decisions.
As the late Yogi Berra said, when you come to the fork in the road, take it.
Best of luck to you.
My kids know they better be able to support themselves once they graduate with their BA or BS degree. Within that parameter, they are free to do what they want to do. You can (if you are willing) commit to your parents that you will take full responsibility for your own expenses and lifestyle after graduation. But let them know that you want to choose your own major. BUT – then you are on your own for grad school, finding a job, etc. Maybe you thought you would be anyway. You may end up as a barista… but it would be your choice. If it it what you really want, you could try telling them that.
My advice would be to address their concern that you won’t be able to get a job with a degree in psychology. Don’t just say you’re willing to take the risk. That’s a horrible counter-argument because they feel like they are the ones that are going to be supporting you until you can get a job to support yourself. It’s easy to say that you are willing to take the risk when you (most likely) have had your parents pay most of your expenses and you have them as a safety net if you aren’t able to support yourself right away. I want to be clear that I am NOT saying that you won’t be able to support yourself with a degree in psychology. I’m just saying that that is clearly your parents’ concern, and you’re doing nothing to dissuade this fear. Try not to get too upset that they want you to major in computer science. They are most likely just trying to set you up for success and make sure that you are in a good position to support yourself. Maybe they are doing it in a misguided way, but they aren’t trying to ruin your life or control everything you do. They’re investing in your future and they want you to be practical. That’s not the worst thing in the world.
So try to address their concern about the job market for someone with a psychology degree. Do the research on what you would be able to do with that degree and what salary you can expect with just a bachelor’s degree in psychology. Could you support yourself? What is the demand for jobs? What are you going to do to make sure you are a more attractive applicant for job positions when you graduate? Show your parents that you are serious and that you are really thinking this through. Try not to just say that this is your passion because that’s not going to help them be less worried about your future. It’s just not a very good argument, and it might even reinforce your parents’ view that you are looking at this emotionally and immaturely, rather than practically and realistically. We all have things that we like, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we should start a career in them.
If you’re planning on going to graduate school, do the research on what you need to do to get into graduate school, how will you pay for it, and what you will do with the degree afterwards. Research the job market for individuals with the degree you want to get. What is the job growth like? If you need help, your school’s career services center might be able to help.
In addition to doing the research, a negotiated compromise may be possible. What about majoring in psych and minoring in comp sci? What fields other than comp sci would they be okay with? Statistics? Marketing and business? Communications? Education? (And then do a minor in psych?.) If comp sci makes you sad, then its not a good choice and it’s reasonable for you to look for something else. On the other hand, your parents’ position that you have to be ready to support yourself when you graduate is also reasonable. Do the research if you want to be convincing that you can be self-supporting with a psych degree. (In psych, that will almost certainly require graduate school - either a masters which you probably will have to pay for, a psyD which you will probably have to pay for, or a Phd which the school will pay for.) If you will can convince them that your goals and theirs can both be met with an alternative plan of action, they may come around.
Ultimately no one can ‘force’ you to major in anything. You have to go to classes and do the work. I suspect they would not pull the plug if you tell them that you are stopping out of college because continuing to take classes in comp sci is making you too unhappy. But that’s the nuclear option and you don’t want to go there unless it’s true and you have tried to negotiate a more satisfactory outcome.
Does your university have a marketing or business minor? Looks like you have some math aptitude, so maybe you can take additional stats classes as well. Or would you be open to a CS minor? A lot of psych students are math phobic, so you would have an edge if you could have a solid minor in something quantitative. One of my math majors switched to psychology, but I encouraged him to get a solid minor in math or CS or business .
You should also try to look for summer jobs / internships which can enhance a resume. That would give you some experience when you graduate. If you university has a grad program in psych., you could try to get some research work with programming etc. - skills which a traditional psych major may not have (depends on your university, of course).
Major in economics with a focus on behavioral economics. That might satisfy the parents, while allowing you to do whatever you want related to psych in grad school- counseling, market research, Psych PhD.
I’m playing devils advocate:
You are over 18; you do fill out your schedule. They don’t really have access to your records. They just get the bill.
Study what you feel comfortable studying. If you are unhappy in CS, change your major. Are they doing your CS homework?
We pay the bills for the undergrad degrees for our kids; grad school is on them. They study what they want to study. Take some more psych classes; see if you continue to enjoy them. Then tell them later:
I tried CS and it is something I don’t like, something I cannot keep up with and something that “depresses” me. (fill in the blank)
Yes, I went to tutoring,
Yes, I’ve talked to the professors.
No, I won’t be able to get a job in CS because my GPA in CS is too low to merit an internship in it.
I’ve switched to psych with this employment plan: School Psychologist/ beginning salaries start at: $60K.
Done.
If you aren’t into it, your chances for success are slim to none. I’ve had engineers work for me who got a PHD degree from Berkeley just to get into the United States. Most of the software development engineers I hire in the US have a Masters Degree in EE or CS. Your competition in Silicon Valley if this is where you intend to move, is going to be tremendous. Bail out now if this isn’t truly what you want to do. Otherwise you’ll be on boards lamenting the fact that you have a CS degree and can’t get a job in the US because foreign H1B’s are taking all the jobs. You need to be 200% in to compete.
You’ll get a job in psychology. It’s not even an issue. If you love it and are fully engaged in it you will have a very high likelihood of having a fulfilling career. As for paying for grad school, you will be funded if you go for a PhD.
I actually understand you parents’ point of view. They went into this college investment with the idea that you’d be CS, for sure self-supporting with a BS degree. The general perception (maybe right, maybe wrong) is that psych majors need grad school ($$$) to get a decent job.
I don’t think they should make you stay in CS . If it’s a force-fit, then it does not make sense. Do some research to see if there are grad programs with research / TA opportunities. That might soften the blow.