I’m a very hardworking but quiet student. I rarely have issues with professors, but from day one this professor has kinda been picking on me. I have social anxiety so I don’t know how to handle it and I keep feeling humiliated in front of the class.
On the first day, he was passing out papers and he dropped the pile next to me and I made a startled noise by accident. Then he looked me in the eye intensely and said twice, “Do I scare you?”
Then another day, he announced that we were going to pick new teams for the final project. A few friends asked if I wanted to be in their team. I currently was on another team for the first project but he said we could either switch or stay the same.
At the end of class, he said that we have to pick the new teams now. Then he said to me, “You’re in team one, is your team all set?” so I said the new team and he said “Why are you switching? Do you have issues with your current team?” and I was confused and said “No we just wanted to mix things up.” He said “Does your current team know this? You need to tell them first.” and he kept interrogating me awkwardly in front of the class until I said “This is for the final team right?” and he said, “No this is for the first project.” But I was confused because my team already finished the first project and we were ready to present so I told him this. Now my current team mates probably hate me and think I want to ditch them.
Then for the rest of class after saying anything, he would turn to me and ask me “Is that okay?” as if there was something wrong with me.
How do I get off this professor’s bad side? I feel anxious in his class because he keeps humiliating me and making me feel like an idiot.
Go talk to him, privately in office hours. Introduce yourself, say that you think you may have gotten off on the wrong foot, and be honest about your anxiety issues. Be kind and open. I think it’s very helpful to give the professor concrete examples of what your anxiety looks like. For instance, I had a student once who I thought was terribly disrespectful because of some classroom behavior. It really bothered me because his behavior would derail the class, and I had to waste a lot of time and emotional energy getting the class back on track. Once he came to meet with me and explained that the behavior was just a symptom of anxiety–and not intentionally disrespectful–it didn’t bother me at all. We came up with some accommodations that worked for both of us, and he did very well in the class. But remember, professors are humans. Yes, some are jerks, or tired, or cranky as a DMV clerk at 4pm on a Friday, but for the most part, they do care, and they often have no idea why students are behaving in certain ways. It sounds like he’s defensive because he thinks you are making fun of him or engaging in a power struggle, as many students do. He might have had to deal with a lot of challenging and disrespectful students lately. If you do speak with him and nothing changes, and he continues to treat you in a way that feels humiliating, then it’s appropriate to go see the Chair of the department.
Thank you for the insight. I’m a bit worried that he will treat me worse if I talk to him about it. I heard that in a previous class he often picked on a student with autism. I notice he picks on socially awkward students most and seems to enjoy it.
I do have accommodation papers and it’s optional that I can have professors sign them. I’ve just been avoiding having him sign them because I’m afraid he will see me as more inferior and pick on me more. I’m afraid he will start talking to me as if I’m stupid and keep asking me if everything is “ok”.
He also grabbed my shoulder kinda hard when he asked if I knew about a certain technique and I said yes. I guess it was supposed to be a pat on the back kinda thing. I just hate people touching me randomly and it makes me anxious.
I agree with the advice to talk to this professor outside of class. Ideally it would be better for you to speak one on one, but if your anxiety prevents you from doing that, bring a trusted friend with you for support. I also agree with going beyond the prof if the behavior doesn’t change after you have a discussion. You can also go to the disabilities office for help.
It sounds like you feel really uncomfortable. I suggest you talk to your school counselor/therapist, who might be able to talk you through options and even sit in on a meeting with you and the prof. I don’t think it’s fair to judge people based on rumors, though. Good luck.
Go to the counseling center (have a friend go with you if that causes you anxiety) and talk about your anxiety and also how to handle this. Talk about the incidents and how you coudl have handled them and how to handle them now.
If you are friendly with other professors in the dept, talk to them about how to handle the situation.
Talk to your advisor about the situation.
So don’t say “Professor X is mean to me” or “Professor X treats awkward people meanly” but "I had a situation and I was wondering if you could coach me on how to handle this. I have social anxiety, so situations that others may brush off cause me anxiety. On the first day, he was passing out papers and he dropped the pile next to me and I made a startled noise by accident. Then he looked me in the eye intensely and said twice, “Do I scare you?”
I don’t know if he was trying to be funny or trying to intimidate me but it caused much awkwardness. "