<p>Thought it might be interesting to hear from anyone who is familiar with colleges that dealt with tragedies and how they dealt with the healing process. What kind of effects have you observed? How have students kept their spirit?</p>
<p>I suppose that one advantage which a college has is a constant influx and graduation of its students. This is not to say that a tragedy should be forgotten but that as a new cohort of students populate the campus, the events take on a more historical memory rather than a personal one for the students.</p>
<p>Obviously administrators, faculty, staff and alumni who witnessed the events have a tougher row to hoe.</p>
<p>I think we are seeing some of it right now. The healing process includes formal memorial services like the candlelight convocation. It includes the students (and I'm sure faculty and staff, too) gathering with their friends - and new friends developed as an outgrowth of this tragedy - informally just to "be" together. </p>
<p>We had the tragedy of a high school suicide in our small town and the gathering is such a big part of it. Remembering. Celebrating the life (lives) lost. Caring for each other. Determining to go forward in their honor. This is what I have seen and am seeing going on right now at VT.</p>
<p>Aside from the counseling center, I think there is a limit as to how far a college will reach out in the case of a tragedy .The reason for this may be litigation. Oftentimes I hear of vigils on a campus. After that it seems healing is left to the campus clergy and friends of the victim to console the family.Although nowadays there may be close ties with faculty and students. Both may lend support.</p>
<p>Maybe they never really heal. Maybe there's just a big bunch of scar tissue left on these kids and the faculty. </p>
<p>Probably the best you can hope for is that these kids will go forward in life promoting peace and nonviolence through positive action.</p>
<p>As the mother of a student who has weathered a friend's suicide (8th grade) and the shooting death of a classmate by another classmate (just prior to 12th grade) I can say that kids are resilient and resourceful and they can learn to deal with it in very healthy ways. One of the things that the senior kids did this year in dealing with the shooting death was to post messages on this boy's myspace site. The school also had the requisite memorial built and a tree planting several weeks later. My daughter and her friends also decided to honor his memory by volunteering in their community, which has led to a wonderful spirit of service among her group. Now, instead of complaining about early morning wake-up calls before her community service activities, she's awake, cheerful and out the door early! I agree with weenie that these kids will probably never be whole again, but they have learned to start the healing process in healthy ways and continue in activities that make them feel good about themselves.</p>
<p>And sometimes a person -- or a whole community -- discovers friends they didn't realize they had.</p>
<p>There's some nice stuff going on right now in Virginia, with Virginia Tech's traditional rival, the University of Virginia, supporting its so-called enemy in a wide variety of ways. Take a look at this:</p>
<p>Of course, the way everyone will know that things have gotten back to some approximation of normal is when the two schools start insulting each other again.</p>
<p>There is a template of sorts. Read this blog entry by a teacher at Columbine HS:</p>
<p>My son's prep school had a tragic death last year (his senior year) when a senior football captain died as a result of an injury sustained in a home game. The school community, with excellent leadership, bonded in a unique way and helped each other. It was a smaller community than a college, of course, but there were many lessons learned. The important things were to encourage communication and action- memorial services were held, a project was begun to honor the classmate and much was written and spoken. These are all things that lead to healing.</p>
<p>But I think you can't underestimate the effect of post-traumatic stress. If you have ever been close to an incident where you truly felt you might have died...well it's a much different feeling. It sticks to you differently. Every kid and faculty/staff person on that campus is thinking (perhaps subliminally) - "It could have been me" and they are right. The repercussions from that - the terror, the guilt, the grief - are huge.</p>
<p>Time heals all wounds.</p>
<p>But memories last forever.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Time heals all wounds.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Time heals most wounds.</p>
<p>Not all of them.</p>
<p>That's what post-traumatic stress is about.</p>
<p>Deja, thanks for finding and posting the site by Paula Reed and thanks to everyone else sharing stories and thoughts. My D. is still very strongly considering enrolling next fall. It's one of the two schools she's considering most. We were on the campus on Saturday and Sunday, the day before the shooting. She loved it and so did we.</p>