@SatchelSF Remind us which boarding school your kids go to?
I only sent one kid to one BS, but the general ethos was that everyone was expected to be fully challenged. What that meant depended on the kid – everything from preparation, aptitude, and interest. The first question on the form given to students as they were planning their schedules for the next year was “Am I getting enough sleep?”
Overall, the kids I saw getting into the schools that interest you (and there were several every year) were kids who were genuinely engaged in both their studies and their community. They did not start with a notion of what colleges wanted and then craft themselves into that. They were authentically curious, bright, hard-working, and liked by their classmates.
The best advice we got (around planning coursework ) was “Don’t do anything simply because you think a college will like it. You can’t control whether they’ll accept you, and you could end up passing by options that really energize you. You can squander a lot of high school for z college outcome that will not come to be.”
Trust me, you will have so many options at BS. Use them to start figuring out who you are and what you like and you will be so far ahead of the game as you start college.
30% repeats sounds too high for PA. My child estimates 15%, but that’s just a guess. I’ve never seen stats, but I note that DC’s guess comports with the guess that at least one alum made on these boards. Also, some of the repeats are simply resetting to the grade they would have been in had they not previously skipped.
:Previously skipped". That’s nonsense. I personally know a number of these kids at seversl of the top schools. The repeating includes repeatingoyt of 8th abd/or 9th from schools like Hillside, Fay and Fessenden as well as private day schools. Further admissions personnel has communicated these numbers. Let’s not be silly. Repeating aka redshirting is not new. The point is that age matters in school for many reasons.
No @skieurope, I’m being honest. All the challenge yourself comments dont take into account what is really happening.
@Center, it’s absolutely not nonsense. DC personally knows kids who skipped grades in public school and are the same age as kids who, like DC, are not repeaters. The fact that you have some examples of kids in a different circumstance does not in way suggest to the contrary,
As for the overall percentages, I said that I have not seen any stats and was only recounting DC’s view, which comported with what I have seen elsewhere from an alum. If you have heard official stats to the contrary, so be it. Personally, I’ve yet to hear different numbers from a trusted source.
That’s what I was doing wrong in HS. Instead of challenging myself, I should have been gaming the system. No wonder I only got admitted to crappy colleges and am forced to attend my safety. 8-|
ChoatieLT laments all that time wasted on crew and squandering of his GPA as well @skieurope. 
Just to echo others, it’s about challenging yourself, finding what you love, and manifesting your love for something into effort and action. I think the schools expect the kids to want to challenge and expand themselves, and I think the students feel that expectation and are motivated to stretch themselves, to the extent that wasn’t already the case before they set foot on campus. Moreover, the schools seem to be designed to facilitate that stretching. I have heard of students who moved from an introductory level course in a foreign language to an accelerated version of the course after one term, when the introductory course was too easy, and I’ve head of similar acceleration happening in math. In addition, placement in certain math and science courses depends not only on having taken certain prerequisite classes, but also on one’s grades in the earlier classes. While I suppose some students with very high grades could, in some instances, decline to take the more challenging courses, doing so seems to run against culture and I expect such students would receive push back from their academic advisers / counselors. And it’s hard to believe that academic advisers would provide their strongest recommendations for students who do not challenge themselves.
“I have heard of students who moved from an introductory level course in a foreign language to an accelerated version of the course after one term, when the introductory course was too easy, and I’ve head of similar acceleration happening in math.”
At my kids’ school it was usually the opposite, stepping down a level not stepping up. That was because kids were encourage to stretch themselves and give the higher course level a shot. If someone was on the margin between a higher level and lower level course, they always seemed to start at the more challenging level. The thinking was it is always easy for a student to move down a level, in the oft chance it was warranted, then it was to move up a level.
Agree with @CaliPops and also points made by moderator, as well asthe esteemed parents on this thread…but will tell you that at our local high school, the students are aware of how to play the game to make it easier or to get that high GPA. We live in a region with many students who are bilingual and are taking classes in their familiar language…without having the opportunity to take another language or desire to start a new one. At two of the BS’s we visited, students and parents openly discussed during Revisit how to “game the system” or get easy A’s with current students.
We are not from the NE, but I did attend school up there,it seems to me there are many more repeats now than back i40 years ago. Also, more students enrolled in PG programs. Maybe there are just more of such programs. At one school (we did not apply to, ) we met 2 students (one was our tour guide) who were 2-year repeats! During the past year, we met kids on the BS tours from well known JBS’s who were repeating “for sports”.
To the student who may be reading this, please don’t limit yourself or place limits that others seek upon yourself. This is an extraordinary opportunity to have fun with learning. Also, this may be a unique time in your life when so very many people (teachers, coaches, counselors, parents and fellow students) will be there to help you succeed. This is a time to feel safe to try a new language, a new art form, a new instrument, and a new sport! Worrying about rankings or graduating in the top 10% is IMHO is like going on a strict diet when on vacation in Italy!
“ Manga”, baby! :))
@doschicos I agree. My understanding is that stepping down is more common. I just wanted to point that the opposite also occurs.
@Golfgr8 The discussion you heard is one reason why I’m glad DC’s school does not rank. I don’t know how ranking makes sense when students take very different classes.
I don’t really want to confuse the discussion. I will acknowledge that this game can be more easily played at the LPS, which has classes targeting different abilities, although in theory weighting takes care of that, in part. But the OP is specifically asking about boarding schools, which typically don’t weight, nor do they generally offer different levels of English 9, USH, etc.
To clarify, while I am also a moderator, unless I claim a thread to be under my moderating purview by starting a post with MODERATOR’S NOTE:, I am posting as a general user, and don’t claim to speak ex cathedra. 
Just to add one more thing… as both DH and I have served on Admissions committees. DH still interviews and reads applications. We also have served as teaching faculty at one of the most desirable schools in the NE. We were seeking students who were not necessarily in the top 10% of their class at BS.
We were just as impressed by grit, rising above circumstances, and character. To answer the OP’s question @ How to graduate at the top of your class at BS? Try to be a type of student who can see “the entire donut, and not obsess about the hole in it.” :-B
It is much more difficult in public schools and any school with stratified tracks where there are AP and other advanced coursework that offer points for rigor. Schools that dont rank and that dont differentiate between classes are both better in some regards but worse in other ways. Grit, character and all those other nice sounding words are now automatically applied to URMS and low SES. What if you are a white middle class kid with a parent out of work or an illness? You cant measure grit, character or anything else --you can infer it. If someone comes from a rough city and low SES and has a 3.7 but a 24 on their ACT do they get a sympathy pass for the scores? Probably. Does someone at Andover with a 3.4, plays soccer, in chess club from Wilton CT and all tough courses and a 1500 get in anywhere stellar? Doubtful. Look back to the OP’s question --you can be top of the class but not everyone at the top is taking the hardest classes or spread as thin–and many of those kids still wont end up at an Ivy. We have to infer from OPs question (since they havent bothered responding) that how one ends up at the top is really asking how do I get into HYP?
It’s OK if OP doesn’t chime in, we’re leaving advice for any other kid or family who thinks boarding school is a ticket to Harvard… if you can just claw your way to the top of the class by hook or by crook.
The best answer is: You need to adjust your attitude and goals in order to find happiness and success (including success at getting into the best college you are capable of getting into).
For any individual, the best advice is to throw yourself into great learning experiences, embrace challenge, and pursue your passions. You will learn much more, and be far more capable. You will mature and develop authentic interests and be self-confident (not suffer imposter syndrome). You won’t be afraid to take some risks, have some trouble, learn from mistakes.
If you are capable of being a top student and getting into a top college, this is the most productive, healthy, authentic path. If you are not a brilliant scholar, “gaming the system” to get top grades is NOT going to get you into a top college. Trying to skate by in easy classes without developing a passion for learning, a capacity for hard work, and demonstrating some resilience… those are going to be huge red-flags (and to be clear, AO’s will notice).
Do the best you can and know that it doesn’t help to compare yourself to others. Don’t be bitter and aggrieved if others are gaming the system or have some “hook” you don’t have. It isn’t healthy or productive. Again, in most top schools the majority (if not all) the summa cum laude kids are just brilliant, passionate students taking the most rigorous classes they can find. But if some kid is an ignorant, lazy slob who has better grades than you… you’re still the more appealing candidate for AOs… how they waste their tuition dollars is of no concern to you.
If you are hunting for schools to apply to, I will reiterate that there are “top” schools where 95% of the kids are bright, hard-working, friendly kids who embrace challenge, are happy to collaborate with you, and contribute to inspiring and complex analysis in class discussion. There absolutely are schools where attempts at “gaming the system” are seen as “cheating yourself” and rarely happen. So take a good look at the spirit of inquiry and camaraderie at these places, and choose wisely.
Best of luck to you!
As an aside about “gaming the system”, my daughter’s HS while not a boarding school, was a competitive STEM private school. There were definitely students gaming the system to improve their rank and GPA. Overwhelmingly those students did not do as well with college admission both in terms of acceptances and merit $.
In the end, the student has to make their own path. If they decide to “game the system” or move ahead a few steps at the expense of what is best in the long run, they will feel the consequences down the road. Life is not about getting into the Ivy league( I have three Ivy league degrees and none of them make me a better communicator or person). My spouse has none and is more successful on paper. The goal of reaching your potential is really what boarding school is about. Not everyone has the same potential. Some of us will never be athletes or invent the next internet. But all of us have the potential to work hard and learn along the way.
The system is broken and pretending it isn’t, doesn’t really serve our kids. As a parent, I work hard to make sure my kids are ethical and work very very hard in all things. If they are the best in something, great, if not, that’s great too. As long as they have put forth passion and work. They are expected to be a part of all of the communities we belong to and to give back. They treat other people fairly and not just so they can get what they want. They don’t appreciate people who are unkind and overtly competitive for their own ends ( but they work on just focusing on themselves). BS is not just about academics.
I’m not that worried about my kids being stats heavy and having no passions or things they care about. That is the case with so many kids we know. They have a high GPA, SATS and rank and wonder why they didn’t get into HYP. Please. The world is filled with people who don’t want to do the hard work and want to just game the system. They rarely succeed. Karma has a way of knocking them back. So does the lack of a support structure.
Every kid at any BS is part of the community whether they are in the top 1% or in the bottom 1%. And history will tell you that many at the bottom end up in places no one could imagine.
"The system is broken and pretending it isn’t, doesn’t really serve our kids. As a parent, I work hard to make sure my kids are ethical and work very very hard in all things. If they are the best in something, great, if not, that’s great too. As long as they have put forth passion and work. They are expected to be a part of all of the communities we belong to and to give back. " Love this @Happytimes2001!
I could not agree more! Further-I dont personally believe in my cynical answer to the OP–we have never operated that way but we see the cost of that path and we see those who have been purposeful in their choices look very good on paper --and successful because of it. Ultimately integrity and ethics is role modeling at the highest and most difficult level. We see some absolutely CRAZY things going on in our schools. However–thats why the answer to the OP of challenge yourself, be curious, follow your passion is all VALID to be a better student and person but not necessarily then most savvy path to be at the top of your class–especially If you have to ask how. That question is not one that comes naturally to us. That is not and would never be the specific stated goal. For some it might be. Ours is always take the most interesting courses available, stretch your mind and your body, and challenge yourself.
@Center , you lost me at “serious business with serious stakes.” Getting into an Ivy isn’t all that it is cracked up to be. Some Silicon Valley employers actually have a bias against Ivy grads because they can come across as entitled. There are plenty of incredibly accomplished people who did NOT attend an Ivy league school. My guess is they had the growth mindset to take on tough challenges in the interest of true learning vs the fixed mindset of focusing on gaming the system for grades.