How early did you start College tours?

Parents Forum
41

The idea of doing side trips to tour a college while on a family vacation makes sense. Unfortunately, I tend to take the boys on active or adventure type vacations and for some reason the colleges that might be a fit don’t tend to be in those areas. While sailing regattas sometimes take me to places near potential college fits, I don’t ever have my boys with me when my team is racing, so they wouldn’t be with me for a college visit then.

With the exception of Washington DC, I’m trying to think of college cities we’ve done family vacation time in or near and can only come up with NY city; and honestly we were only there because we went a few days early to check the town out before the oldest son received an award there.

For some reason, there don’t seem to be many colleges of potential interest to my boys close to where the good white water rafting, hiking, snorkeling and sailing are, dang it. They need to build more and better colleges in the fun vacation areas.

42

Like I said, know your kid. My 14 was nervous about even being a high schooler and didn’t even want to talk about her brother going to college until she went on a tour. There was a night and day switch on her anxiety level talking about this stuff after she went on the tour with her brother. My oldest was very nervous about colleges and how he would fit on a campus until we got on our first campus and the thing was demystified. That’s why I wish we had just done a couple casual ones sooner. They were more anxious without having the real world view. Suddenly there were just real people on these campuses. It was coincidental that the 14 year old went on a tour having to do with logistics of our day, but it was definitely anxiety reducing and positive for her.

I can’t imagine taking a 14 year old purposefully to an elite school or actually to any school with intent. Or planning a vacation with that in mind Heck I’m not taking my rising senior to further flung reach schools that may apply to and I have his ACT scores that indicate he can apply wherever. We can visit if he gains entry somewhere reachy that we can afford. He’s seen a couple elites of various sizes/locales for feel that were convenient to visit. Those online tours are helpful. LOL.

I don’t think you can assign intent on anyone who casually takes their younger kid on a college campus. If that would cause your child anxiety, absolutely do not of course. My kids are always more anxious BEFORE trying something when it’s still kind of a mystery.

43

For us, I felt it wasn’t necessary to tour colleges. My kids were going to have to go where it was affordable. DS wasn’t interested at all, but I insisted he see what a college campus was like, dorms, cafeterias, etc. He saw one not far from home, ended up at Bama, and didn’t see that campus until he registered for classes. Temple was one of the options and he was adamant he didn’t want to waste his day touring it. He did break his foot the night before the tour, was on crutches, so didn’t go. DH & I went and I was pleasantly surprised and reassured, as it isn’t in the best area.

Youngest was all about when are we touring, but only because so many of her classmates were doing it. No, not spending money for something I didn’t think was really necessary. We narrowed down her choices and then toured both campuses. They were very different. One was very compact & the other was very spread out w/ city streets running through some areas.

She could easily see herself at either one, but ended up at the latter mainly due to offering a minor she was considering. By senior year, I had already narrowed down their limited options, so that is when we looked at them.

44

We did one the summer before junior year. Then started really visiting January of this year. We planned the visits around her cheerleading competition schedule. Whatever city we were in, she would pick a school to visit. We’re doing 4 more next week and finishing it off with some relaxation in Florida for 4 days.

45

My S21 tagged along on his sister’s visits to several colleges. It was a good experience that helped him realize he does not want an urban school. Recently he had a lax tournament outside Philly and Princeton was on the way so we did a tour & info session. He liked that setting much better. We’re not actively looking to tour schools but, if they are on the way to something, we might stop and take a look. My goal isn’t for him to pick actual schools but more to get an idea of the types of schools and settings there are. My other goal is to inspire him to do well in HS so that he has a variety of options when its time to apply.

46

We did a couple of tours during Junior year fall break to expose my DD to colleges. We did a big state U and a smaller college to get an idea of both. She also attended the local college fair that fall. Based on that info and her PSAT scores we started compiling a list. We then visited those schools over spring break (revisiting the smaller college as well to put it into perspective as it met her requirements and was a good value).

47

Here’s our experience, based on my DD’s individual personality. YMMV.

My DD is an incoming HS freshman and did her first college tour in May. Yes, she was still in 8th grade. Our family happened to be travelling to a city that we wouldn’t ordinarily visit, and we had a couple free hours. Was the timing very early? Yes. Was DD excited about the tour? No. But every now and then we get intellectually adventurous.

Well… it turned out to be a great experience! I was up front about the pros and cons of the school (non-ivy, not T10, but highly selective), and I gave her reasons why I thought it might be a good fit as well as reasons why she might not like it. If nothing else, she understood why it was a good idea to take two hours to see this school while she had an opportunity.

She found that touring colleges could be fun (not a dreaded chore). She absolutely loved seeing students working in groups, and indeed the university seemed to have more rooms for small group study groups (complete with all the tech they’d need) than it did classrooms. She didn’t think much of the students asleep in the library (it was final exams week), we had to explain what microfiche is (and we really had to dig deep for an explanation as to why on earth it still would be in use), but she loved that the library carried the complete Harry Potter collection. She enjoyed reading the bulletin boards and peeking into empty classrooms (especially when she saw computer parts). She was obviously relieved when I promised not to buy coffee mugs (even though we don’t drink coffee) from every college bookstore whose campus we toured, and she promised to buy DH & I mugs from the college she eventually picks. The mugs became a running joke for weeks.

We didn’t set out to start college tours so early, but with the first one under her belt, she is looking forward to the next one, “so she can have something to compare it to”. I thought, “Why not?” We’ve made no plans yet, though.

She did not “fall in love” with the college we toured. I realize it is way too early for her to make any choices, and no one pressured her for an opinion beyond “maybe possibly keeping it on the list”. To be fair, it had a tough bar to beat. For the past three summers she has attended a summer camp at our local community college, which is wonderful school that has expanded tremendously over the past 10-15 years (so everything still looks and feels “new”). Every classroom there is state-of-the-art. The landscaping is carefully maintained in a modern-prairie style. In her (pre-tour)world, all colleges were exactly like that one (except they’d have dorms). In a way, I am glad that myth got shattered early. Although we hear of colleges expanding all the time, you simply don’t see 4+ year universities with brand-spanking-new everything.

Happy1 made a really excellent point to “recognize HS as an experience in and of itself – not just a 4 year college application prep experience.” We didn’t have any intention of minimizing DD’s HS experience. If anything I see evidence she is now thinking in terms of an eight year plan as far as academics, ECs, and possible summer jobs go. Not sure if that’s good or bad. Its all going to be part of the journey, I suppose.

48

For the oldest kid, we toured one large state school and one small LAC during spring break of 9th grade, just to get her starting to think about those sorts of distinctions. My younger 2 were along for those (so technically, they had their first college tours in 4th and 2nd grade, but let’s not count that for them ;-)). After that we didn’t do any more until spring break of her junior year, when she and I did a dedicated college visit trip to see 8 places in a week. This generally seemed to be fine timing.

For middle kid, now a rising junior, we had the first official tour a few months ago at a local-to-us school (actually where hubby and I went to grad school) on a teacher in-service day. Now we are in New England on a family vacation and are doing a few college visits while here just to take advantage of already being in the area, and the youngest is also going on those (so youngest just had his first real tour last week and he’s entering 9th grade this fall). I guess the upside is that youngest has now heard it from someone other than me that he needs to get good grades in English even if he plans to major in engineering, if he wants to attend a more selective university ;-).

49

We started visiting colleges the summer before his sophomore year.

50

It’s funny to me that some parents think touring a college makes a kid anxious. My own kiddos went to camps at colleges and have attended many sporting events at colleges so unless they decided not to attend camp and no sports, there are going to be college campuses. A lot. The older one just had a college tour (3 schools) as part of a sports program. (The only anxiety from this kid was the first Summer camp in a nearby town on a college campus. First sleepover camp. Has gone back three years in a row).
We have always been of the opinion to talk about things openly with our kids. They know where we attended school and have been on those campuses ( all but one which is abroad). They see they are all very different and have asked questions. My spouse went to a school with an urban campus undergrad and one kid likes that and one doesn’t. Both say they don’t want to attend any of the schools we attended. That’s good IMO. But if they did want to go to the same place, I’d tell them pros and cons of the school.
Personally, taking a kid and dictating what the parent thinks is really oppressive in my opinion. But showing your kid that there are many types of schools in every state opens their minds to possibilities.

Weird so many feel the need to judge and criticize others. I only wish my parents had taken me to colleges when I was young. Oh wait, they did. And I ended up attending a school where my parents told me “great things happen here”. Hmm. Worked for me. My spouse, on the other hand, said it would have been great to know what else was out there. The results were fine. The guidance not so much.

51

We started the summer between sophomore and junior year. We continued touring/refining through junior year.

For us, it was the right time to start. We already had practice test scores in hand so it was reasonable to create a list. My daughter was also very sure about engineering. She wanted to do a summer engineering program as a rising senior so I knew there wouldn’t be enough time after junior year.

Also, the best advice we got from parents of older children was to start the common app in August and get as much done as possible. Her main essay was done by the end of junior year and then she slogged through the application and all the college specific essays when the app opened. It allowed her to really take her time and not have the added pressure of classwork and ECs. She said it was the best thing she did in the process. That said, she still had lots of honors college and supplemental essays to write after the school year started.

52

We started this past November with my freshman (now a rising sophomore). I’m a single mom, so my younger daughter (rising 8th grader) was/is always along for the ride. We started at my kid’s request, after attending an info session given by a group of colleges at a local high school. We went to that (my kids were invited, and so I figured why not give them a very casual preview of the college thing), and they expressed interest in visiting actual colleges. So we did.

Both my kids took the SAT when they were twelve for CTY purposes, so we already have a pretty good indication of how they will do when they take it later. Both have been taking/took high school courses during middle school. Both have unique ECs and both are already regional competitors in their chosen traditional (non-school based) sport. Both show strong interests in specific fields - of course those interests may change, and that would be fine - my point is that we have enough info to make an educated guess as to what kind of stats they’ll have as juniors.

We travel within our northeast state and within six nearby states a lot (for fun and for EC purposes) and the northeast is an area where you can’t throw a rock without hitting a college, so we starting fitting in college visits with our travels. My two enjoy seeing colleges - to them, it’s an extension of our traveling adventures. Since it is early for both of them, they feel no stress or pressure since they are not about to apply. They have fun seeing what they like and don’t like. Also, they now realize there are a lot of fantastic options out there with acceptance rates of over 50%, so they don’t need to stress their way through high school worrying that if they don’t get into an Ivy then they are losers, or some other such nonsense.

They both have very full lives and the visits feel like a little break from everything else they have going on, and it gives them a little window into how their lives might be when they are older. So as long as your kid is the type to find visits fun and informative and not stressful, then there is no harm in visiting as early as freshman year (or middle school if the kid has to go along for the ride with the older sib). That being said, we won’t visit colleges that are way out of the way for us in terms of travel until Dd1 is a junior.

53

I dragged my then 8th grader on his big brother’s college tour - since they are complete opposites I don’t think we visited a single school that would have been appropriate for him. (Stanford perhaps if he’d had better grades.) After a tour that took us through the old dorms (with murals every where by students) and tales of pranks (the students were at that moment rescuing their cannon which had been stolen by MIT kids), and the best pizza we ate anywhere, Caltech was pronounced the perfect school, if only you didn’t have to study science. Four years later he still was looking for that nerdy vibe where you didn’t have to study science.

54

@JanieWalker We’re in the same boat. Kids took CTY (7th grade) and one took SSAT so we have general idea of stats. Though we didn’t do many online courses, the kids have something they do which is fairly unique. That might change. Kiddos have always been great students ( hope that doesn’t change) but older one found out that competitive high schools (public and private) were filled with similar kids. For my kiddos, they have seen kids at really high levels of competition ( sports, academics etc) and seen what it takes to compete. Hard work. Sometimes they are into it, sometimes they aren’t we go with their interests.
The kids seem to like walking around and getting the vibe of various schools. Last Summer we went to William and Mary and they had lots of questions. They couldn’t fathom why anyone would want to have a Greek life on campus. But they got to see people running around dressed for selection ( or whatever they call it). Overall, it was just a fun afternoon. And the campus was lovely.

55

There were a few times when my oldest was in the first two years of high school and my youngest was in middle school that family trips or vacations took us to college towns. We’d walk around the campus a little just so they could see what a college campus looks like. No pressure, no tours, no expectation that we wanted either kid to want to attend that school. Just to take a look and remind them that there was life after the pressure cooker of their high school.

56

We combined our spring break vacation with visiting an OOS college for sophomore D. She will also attend a local summer program at a UC which will be a great experience. Her Junior year we will do a full college road show, again during spring break and maybe see a few more colleges next summer.

57

First “official” tour? My elementary school took the 6th graders on an overnight trip to a nearby state school and we got to do lots of fun activities on campus like see science demonstrations, eat in the dining hall, do a scavenger hunt in the library, see the cows (ew), eat the ice cream they made (yum). Definitely a great age appropriate trip that got kids interested in the idea of college.

58

Also realize that the people here answering this question are self-selected people who are really into the college process. So you should not think you are “behind” because you didn’t start touring freshman year.

59

I’m torn about college visits and full of contradictions.

My kid was looking for a particular social vibe, so it was really important that she visited the school and could see herself there. But, I wonder just how accurate some of those visits were. Visiting around mid-terms/finals verses visiting right after kids get back from vacation will give you two totally different views of the same school. Same with Friday visits verses Sunday visits. Another example is that my D visited a school without me and decided that she wanted to ED there. I wanted to see what she was so hyped about and could only do my visit during the summer. Well my tour guide was a dud for me, as was the info session. Perfectly nice kids, but they were ALL theater types and my kid is STEM, so the things that were interesting for them wasn’t interesting to me and I couldn’t really see what my D was so thrilled about. So I walked away from this feeling meh about the school. But then I talked with a number of acquaintances about the school who knew a lot of kids who either go there or went in the last couple of years, and when they talked about those kids, they were just my kid’s type and I could see her fitting in well there. Because ED is such a serious decision, I sent her back to attend a weekend event, and felt much more comfortable about the decision to apply ED after she spent 2 days living on the campus. My point is, your visit is only 1 picture frame in time, formed by the people you meet at that moment, and can be very inaccurate. And, if your kid is thinking about ED, you really want them to visit the college twice.

The other contradiction I have is that I think these visits really psyche the kid up and they get so invested in the individual schools. Well, if they are applying to low admissions schools, there can be a real disconnect between your kid’s top stats and their ability to get into the school. There were a number of kids in my D’s HS who didn’t get into any of their top choice schools despite superb stats, and I think visiting all these schools and all the hype around it ended up disproportionately negatively impacting these kids.

This brings me to the point of PLEASE spend a lot of your visits at match and safety schools so you can find schools that your kid will likely get into and be happy to go to. Don’t spend the majority of your visits at top 20 schools, because chances are, despite excellent stats, they won’t get in. And also, run the Net Price Calculator before you start talking about a school. No use visiting and having your kid fall in love with it if you determine that you can’t afford it anyway.

In deciding when to start, you might want to think about how many days your kid’s HS will have off while the colleges are in session, and how much travelling you will have to do to visit the colleges. For us, our D wanted to go to college in a different part of the country, and social setting was important, so time was limited. Another thing to think about is if your kid’s application process is going to be earlier than January Senior year. If you think your kid will be a recruited athlete, this process starts earlier, and if you think your kid might want to apply early decision, you will also want to be finished with this process a little earlier.

For us, we began casually visiting schools while we were on vacation in Sophmore year. So no info sessions or formal tours, just having lunch on campus, looking at the bookstore and library, picking up the campus newspaper, and looking at billboards. We then took official tours of several colleges in New England during the summer between Sophmore and Junior year, since we were on vacation there and couldn’t see what the students looked like so we wanted the official presentation. Fall of Junior year we went to several of the multi-college road shows held in a local hotel, and we found it helpful to directly compare those colleges - for example I think U Penn, U Chicago, Duke and maybe Columbia co-hosted, and they were good about explaining what their schools had in common and what was different about them. The road show had a sign-in sheet and counted towards demonstrated interest (particularly if your kid followed up with an email question to the college’s regional admission’s officer). My D went to on-campus tours for her fall break and spring break in Junior year, and was finished by the end of Junior year except for one first time college visit in Sept Senior Year and the re-visit to her preferred college in Oct Senior year. We were very happy that she was predominantly finished with her visits by the end of Junior Year. Senior Year was shockingly busy, and even those two visits were difficult to fit in.

60

For D1 she picked a major that wasn’t common and wanted to go out of state, so her Spring Break of Freshman year we went to Boston- one of her top choices to live, and visited a few schools while on vacation. We then heard of a great school, while down in FL for her major and went to see it. It became her number1- it was a safety/match and we all thought it was a great program. Other than an instate school visit (our requirement), we were basically done Freshman year. She knew in September she was accepted- I will insist D2 have one rolling admission school!

For D2, she went on a few tours with D1. She is a rising sophomore. She just spent a year watching the heartbreak and elation that comes with college acceptance/rejection of all her sister’s friends. We took her on her first tour last week while her sister was at her orientation nearby. I asked her if it was all above her head- she said that after going on a few in the past, that she really knew what to look for, for herself.

I think it all just depends on the kid- neither of mine want to stay instate, so starting early is the only way we can narrow down some schools- waiting until after they were accepted would be a nightmare. Plus, we won’t visit any school we wouldn’t think was at least a possibility and neither kid cares about prestige or cares at all about a school’s sports teams- at least that makes it a little easier!