<p>Our son attends what you’d think is a high temp school, but I’ve been surprised by some of the tidbits he shares. He seems to know where all of his friends are applying, and they certainly know where his sights are set, but the temp appears to be very low, at least in his circle. In fact, when asked why he wasn’t applying to one school that many think should be on his list, his answer is “Because it’s the first-choice for <friend1> and <friend2>, and I don’t want to throw in a competing app when it’s not very high on my list.” He also talks about how his fingers are crossed for another friend who has a “do-or-die” school that is a reach for his profile, and he’s already thinking about how to support him if the decision is negative. Because the kids seem to know each other’s lists, they must talk, but they also appear to be supportive during this process.</friend2></friend1></p>
<p>We live 2,000 miles from this school, so I don’t know if our son’s circle is unique there. Here at home, the temp is zero because all of the kids (every single one we know) applied only to our state schools, period. Not a one even considered applying to an OOS college and all have already been accepted. No one talks much about college here because there is no stress related to acceptances.</p>
<p>In our specific school district, not very hot. Lots of kids going military or community college. HUNDREDS applying to flagship State U and directional State U’s. </p>
<p>D1 knows where most of her close friends are applying, and what majors they’re planning on, and why they like that program at those particular schools. They’re a high-stats geeky group, so they know they’ll all get in somewhere at least respectable; the ones in the running for valedictorian have some more selective schools in their lists, but no one really knows where they’ll end up right now.</p>
<p>Which pressure cooker is worse, high school seniors for college admissions or college seniors for graduate admissions (this includes professional schools of all kinds)?</p>
<p>All is silent around here. No one knows where anyone else is applying, unless they are only applying in-state. The stress level is very high, though, especially this week. </p>
<p>The state schools are rolling admission, though, so almost all of the kids have at least one admit plus a decent scholarship (our state schools are pretty generous with scholarship $).</p>
<p>It’s not nearly as high-pressure as I expected (with my friends). In my opinion, the big reason for this is that me and my friends, who are almost all applying to top engineering and comp sci schools, recognize that there’s an element of chance to the admissions process.</p>
<p>There are so many elements out of our control that it’s pointless to try and directly compete with each other. With the selectivity of some of these colleges, it’s like playing a game of Admissions Roulette.</p>
<p>However, there are bunch of high-strung business-type kids who have diarrhea of the mouth. It’s quite unpleasant. </p>
<p>Yup. I see D’s inward sigh when well meaning parents ask her where she’s applying. I try not to elicit that same inward sigh from her friends when I see them.</p>
<p>At her HS, I wouldn’t say it’s a pressure cooker, but she seems to know what schools are the favorites of her close friends. We have a strong popular state flagship and she isn’t applying to it; many in her class are (I’d say it easily gets the most students in any graduating class, especially if you count branch campuses where some kids start off). </p>
<p>D is considering a lot of schools that are pretty far away, some well known on CC, some not. Only a couple of her friends seem to be also applying to those, if any.</p>
<p>Just a word of caution: even if the heat seems low and there isn’t a lot of college talk in school, don’t kid yourselves into thinking it isn’t simmering in your child’s head and in the environment. Unless your child has already made a commitment or is set on a school that is sure to accept him, this is a very tense time in a very high pressure cycle. The etiquette seems to be that it’s not discussed at all and that can be both good and bad. I hope that my daughter does have an outlet with her friends to vent about the stresses of this year. They are all going through the same anxiety and it has little to do with the level of school they seek. It’s all about the transition and the uncertainty. Being able to lean on each other is so important! </p>
<p>In regard to local college, kids attend there practically only if they ger full tuition scholarship, full ride.
Frankly, my D. did nt care to attend despite of full tuition Merit award. But she had other choices with the same and higher Merits. One thing she did not care about at all was prestige.</p>
<p>Frankly, it was a lot higher pressure when I was in school. Our valedictorian applied ED (EA?) to Yale and was flat out rejected after being abundantly confident and bragging about it. So the rest of us were completely paranoid, as opposed to competing with each other, we were all expecting to go to state school even though many had great SATs and AP scores and were targeting Ivies. In our school, all of the grades were together, it was rare even one student was a year behind or ahead in the honors and AP classes. My son’s high school is different, some classes are 50-50 between two years of students. Makes for a different atmosphere in terms of college applications IMHO.</p>
<p>My son’s school has a lot of high GPA students, but only two NMSFs and ten NM commended. So of 25 in the top AP classes, few if any are targeting less than 10% acceptance schools and few are talking about where they are applying, and fewer still actually have applied ED or RD to any school. He is one of the few who has four applications in, and will get his first response in four days. (He kind of doesn’t understand why everybody doesn’t at least apply EA to one place - he wants to know sooner than later and concentrate on his senior year work. It seems a bother to him to apply to college, but he is looking forward to going.)</p>
<p>I can tell you that he will be abundantly happy if he gets into the two safety schools he applied to, even if he doesn’t get into his ED school (the fourth school he is near 75th percentile on stats, but they take a lot of in-state and he is not). I think his classmates all know that there are a lot of good schools out there, and they have friends who graduated last year and went to a state school (we have lots in NJ LOL) and the world did not come to an end.</p>
<p>But yeah, few if any discussions about college apps among my son and his friends.</p>
<p>Parent of Junior here with a high stat group of friends/classmates and the tension is ramping up now. Kids are visiting schools and “claiming” them for themselves – a la “X is my dream school, they won’t take more than one of us, please no one else apply.” We’ve been through this before with an older one, so I nod and smile mostly, but it makes me crazy to see them spin around and feed off each other’s anxiety. I watched prior senior classes go through this, and it can get ugly. </p>
<p>Mine has matured a lot already in the process, moving off of the simplistic preference for “what’s best” to figuring out more about his own interests and priorities. He has a solid tentative list of safeties, match and reaches, which will fill out once he does spring standardized testing and which will shape our spring visits. He is looking to continue to play his sport, so that adds another element to whole search. </p>
<p>I still shake my head at FB posts of 9th graders in Ivy sweatshirts on campus visits with big smiles on their faces. Find your safeties first, and expand from there. </p>
<p>Hi, I’m a student at Brown University and well, we really appreciate the fact that were in college. We respect each other and I mean we don’t slack off.</p>
<p>I’m sorry to say here in the NE, it is definitely a pressure cooker in some elite independent private schools. These kids know that HYPS and other top schools take quite a few kids each year from the class and they basically know they are competing against each other for admission - not the entire applicant pool. So, nobody talks about where they applied and everyone tries to figure out who has an advantage at the school they are applying to (which in this case usually means legacy). If there are a lot of legacies applying a particular year, those that aren’t feel at a definite disadvantage.</p>
<p>My D saw some very public meltdowns when decisions were checked in school. It really is too bad that it is this way. I think it is way too much pressure for 18 year olds to handle.</p>
<p>Ah, one of the advantages of Alaska! No admissions heat here (despite the bizarrely warm winter we’re having) for my oldest at her public high school, even though it’s a lottery-entry school with what I can only describe as a Reed College prep curriculum.</p>
<p>In fact, a lot of her friends find it simply bizarre that she’s even thinking about college so early (she’s in 10th grade), and particularly that we’re going to tour a bunch in the lower 48 this coming summer rather than before her senior year—though really, that’s mainly logistics for us rather than getting an early start (the following summer has family reunions and such). Her friends who aren’t seniors aren’t even remotely worrying about college yet (except for the one who’s working on making sure she has the nationality-related stuff she needs in order to take advantage of her dual citizenship and go to college in the Netherlands), and even the seniors are pretty mellow about it.</p>
<p>When my oldest son was a high school senior years ago, he and his friends had no trouble discussing where they planned to apply. They were a tight-knit group, so they read each other’s personal statements and essays. When the financial offers came back, they had my son and another young man, who was also a math kid, crunch some numbers to see what was the better offers for some students. They celebrated each other’s successes and cried with those who did not get into their first choice. It was pretty cool to watch.</p>
<p>With my second son, many people in his class never thought much about his academic standing, because they really did not see him as a good student. (He surprised them by graduating in the top 5, too). When they saw where he applied, many thought those schools were the best he probably could do. He got two, full ride offers and big merit money from several other schools. He stepped to his own beat, chose to go out of state and attend a school with excellence academics, especially the STEM majors, and is very happy. </p>
<p>is the Pressure and Heat more of a regional/high population/high income thing? </p>
<p>here in the midwest, at the most competitive high school in our state i have heard NOTHING about college choice. of course, my son is not in the top 10% nor does he hang around the IB academic kids . . . but even then i hear nothing of it! (but he has done well and has tuition free at state flagship)</p>
<p>i’m glad too! i wonder if there’s not much pressure because 1) any elite school in the country is at least a 1.5 - 2 day drive from here. 2) Most parents here have gone to state and local schools so there’s not that pressure/knowledge/culture</p>
<p>love to visit the coasts!! but glad we are not in the mix of it all. </p>
<p>Yes, when my oldest D was a senior two years ago, there were 16 kids from her class applying to the same highly selective school in our area. One friend happened to check her admission decision online during school hours and was rejected and had a very public meltdown. Poor kid, but she shouldn’t have checked during school. This is something to do in the privacy of your home so you can celebrate with family or get consoling if rejected. I don’t know what would provoke a kid to check a decision to a highly selective school in this manner unless it was to puff her chest around her peers. </p>