<p>If you got her a kcup machine and kcups (which aren’t cheap but DO come in grossly sweet latte flavors I believe) would that help? OR is it more a matter of “that’s just how she rolls” and it’s part of her “lifestyle?”</p>
<p>My son spends about $50/week for food in a major city.</p>
<p>D’s meal plan covers one meal a day. We give her $25 a week for the rest of her food. Actually, we buy a stack of $25 gift cards for the nearest grocery store. We could give her cash, but she asked for the cards. That’s sort of her own self-control aid. She also keeps her savings in a separate bank in an account with no debit card. All kinds of tricks kids can use to help them control their own spending.</p>
<p>I have to chuckle on the Starbucks. My oldest starts college in a couple weeks, I keep telling her, “Don’t get addicted to Starbucks!” Unfortunately, there are several Starbucks on campus, and they take the school’s convenience points.</p>
<p>MomEllen, a couple more thoughts/suggestions–does your daughter cook at all? If not, this might be a good time to learn. She doesn’t have to be a chef, but knowing some simple meals would start her off. I’m working on a cookbook for my D, she doesn’t need it this year, but it’ll have all of Mom’s recipes. It also might help, if she’s pressed for time, to get her a crockpot and a few simple “throw in and walk away” type recipes.</p>
<p>Since she comes home regularly, you could consider freezing leftovers from home and sending them along with her. This won’t save you a ton, but it’ll be a taste of home (always appreciated), and it gets her more in the habit of eating prepared at home food, versus restaurant/cafeteria food. Plus, I’m sure nobody makes chicken noodle soup or chili quite the way Mom does.</p>
<p>I’m direct depositing $100 per week in my daughter’s bank account - to cover everything except rent, utilities, and textbooks in Los Angeles.</p>
<p>OK, from all of your messages combined, I think starting out with $100 every two weeks for food seems like a reasonable plan.</p>
<p>TempeMom, I think a big attraction of Starbucks is not only the great taste but the fact that she can get it “out”, between classes, in the evening, etc. and use it as a time/place to socialize. So I don’t think the Kcup thing would help. I think she’ll just have to learn to limit her indulgence.</p>
<p>JRCLMom, no she doesn’t cook much of anything, though she loves to bake. I’m a terrible example, as I don’t cook much either. My husband is a really good cook, but she doesn’t usually make the time to watch and learn. My guess is that she will end up eating things like “toast with PB&J”, but there’s nothing wrong with eating simply and she tends to eat in a healthy manner.</p>
<p>Thank you all again!</p>
<p>MomEllen…we did NOT pay for Starbucks…or even Dunkin Donuts. These were considered discretionary spending. Kids both had coffee makers, and commuter cups. Starbucks everyday can be a mighty expensive habit. It becomes more expensive when you start getting their fancy over $5 drinks…and snacks. We simply did not pay for that. Our kids had jobs. If they wanted Starbucks, we called that “eating out” and we didn’t fund that!</p>
<p>Late in the conversation, and you’ve gotten lots of opinions, but here’s mine: our D has been in an apt for over a year now. We deposit a lump sum on the first of each month to cover rent, parking and about $200/month for food. Everything over and above that amount comes out of her own pocket from her summer and part-time jobs. I assume she eats well because she loves to cook. And she has never complained - although she’s not the type to complain. She’s just very grateful and appreciative that we cover as much of her expenses as we do.</p>
<p>I’m not monitoring whether my D spends her allotment on Starbucks or not. That’s up to her. If she blows money on Starbucks then she may be having to eat ramen for lunch and buy Suave shampoo instead of whatever else she might prefer. That’s part of learning to live within a budget.</p>
<p>I did buy my daughter a Better Homes and Gardens ( the checkered one) for her apartment. It has everything in it. It might be worth a try.</p>
<p>There are TONS of easy recipes online. TONS. Plus, many online options have the option of reducing the number of servings…and adjust the ingredients to do so.</p>
<p>Someplace, there is a great article in getting three meals for one roasted chicken…roasted chicken first day…something like chicken quesadillas on another day, and chicken salad on a third day.</p>
<p>LOTS of egg dishes too!</p>
<p>My D can’t hold on to money either. This will be her first year in an apartment. We plan to give her $50 per week and see how it goes. She will likely live on ramen at 20 cents a pop and spend the rest on a tattoo. The truth is, once the money is in her hands, we can’t control what she spends it on. All the talking in the world won’t make her budget properly. Last year she went up to a month with no money at all because we would not fund her when she ran out (in dorms with meal plan). She has had jobs and made money and has bought her own books ($500 worth) and such. She just likes to spend money differently than we would if it were in our hands.</p>
<p>Our S (the oldest) is a very disciplined person in all areas of his life. He barely spends anything on food or anything else. When he was in the dorms the first two years, he spent approximately $70 total each semester on his social life. Now in an apartment for one year, he spends about $160 a month on food. (He is also a vegetarian.) I am still trying to figure out how I could raise all my kids basically the same way and all three of them have managed to turn out completely different from each other!</p>
<p>Our church sell grocery gift cards as a fundraiser. DD went to college about 20 mles from home, and when we saw her I’d usually check if she another one from my wallet. We didn’t track her spending. It was a good way to encourage her to buy grocery food instead of eating our. She did eat out now and then, but she paid from her funds from part time campus job. </p>
<p>Another thing you could consider is setting up a debit card for parent-approved expenses.</p>
<p>How would you prevent a student from using a debit card for “unapproved” expenses?</p>
<p>If you really want the kid to get groceries only…get grocery store credit cards. They will only be able to buy what is sold at a grocery store with those. And they don’t give cash back!</p>
<p>This thread has prompted us to have a discussion with ds1, who is moving into a townhouse so is going down to a five-meal plan. He’s using his own money to supplement and is budgeting himself $150/month. He can always readjust if needed. He already has plans to fill a Nalgene with milk a couple of times a week in the dining hall so he can have cereal at home. And I imagine he’ll take some fruit to go. :)</p>
<p>“How would you prevent a student from using a debit card for “unapproved” expenses?” - The parents would only “refuel” the debit account for grocery charges. </p>
<p>For DS we opened a JetBlue AmEx family account. He knows that his card (with separate breakout on the bill) is only to be used for flights home and other things I suggest, “put it on the AmEx”. For all else he uses his own debit card. He is very good about honoring our AmEx agreement. For OP’s less disciplined daughter, a debit card seemed easier for parent involvement. Yet it still would allow a learning opportunity.</p>
<p>Our older daughter would usually call and let us know she was going to the grocery store and put the charge on the visa. I think she spent about $50 per week. She ended up being a really good cook. She found websites with recipes and managed to eat in most days. She even used a crock pot. A Magic Bullet blender was a birthday gift and it was used it to make salsa and smoothies, saving loads. </p>
<p>Start now (if she’s at home) by taking her grocery shopping after planning a week’s worth of meals. Then let her cook :). Share the joys of eating for days off of a rotisserie chicken and a bag of $1 pasta. </p>
<p>We did not pay for most meals in restaurants or trips to Starbucks/Dutch Bros or beer. That came out of her savings or paycheck. That was set in concrete at the start and we weren’t shy about making her pay us back.</p>
<p>I agree with others that she needs to learn to cook. She doesn’t have to be fabulous, but the basic skills are something she’ll use her entire life. Since she already likes baking, you know she can follow a recipe. I like the suggestion of a BH&G (or some other basic) cookbook. personally, I find recipe hunting on the internet to be a little daunting, just because there’s so darn much out there. Perhaps you and she could learn together–plan a few meals, go shopping, then prepare them. Soups, pastas, even things like burgers are fairly simple and inexpensive. I think right now, you shouldn’t focus on tight budgeting or fancy cooking techniques, more like keeping costs reasonable and picking up some skills. And as some have already suggested, a rotisserie chicken is inexpensive and can go to several meals–I make a mean roasted chicken, but it’s actually cheaper to buy one cooked from the store. Of course, we’re a family of 6, so by the end of one meal, that chicken is picked clean like a wildebeest carcass on the Serengeti, but that’s a different issue.</p>
<p>If you aren’t letting your child debit from your bank account, then you don’t need to monitor and approve or disallow every single purchase. The age of 18 is plenty old enough for a student to have his or her own free checking account and learn how that works. You can set up transfers from your bank account into the student’s. Voila. The only item my D is putting on my Visa this year is books.</p>
<p>We told our son who is working this summer and living in a dorm with a kitchen that we would be happy to pay for meals (he gets one a day with the job) and one meal out a week, but that we needed him to figure out how much was a good amount. I gave him a sample spread sheet of what I had in mind. I figure it’s good practice for him to learn how much he’s spending. He’s generally pretty frugal, but he’s not a budgeter by nature.</p>