<p>Every college gives an estimate of ‘incidental’ expenses as part of the COA, but they do vary. I think most are in the $1000/sem or so range, and that’s for everything from school supplies to laundry to coffees. I think any kid could fall in with the ‘pizza every night’ crowd and it could become pretty spendy. A student with a car is going to have more OOP for gas and minor upkeep. Why not just come up with a budget and live with it?</p>
<p>A load of laundry per week? $4
Misc lotions and makeup and toothpaste? $10
Pizza and snacks? $20</p>
<p>If that’s the budget, that’s the budget. Does your student card get you into sports events, movies, the rec center? No budget item for those.</p>
<p>I don’t think OP should work during freshman year if she doesn’t think she can handle it. I do think employers tend to ‘hire themselves’, so if the HR person is one who had to pick potatoes on a farm in the summer, I don’t think she’s going to be impressed that OP needed 90 days to relax at the lake and I’ll get the job (experienced potato picker). If the HR person had a grandfather paying the bills, OP will probably get the job.</p>
<p>Our kids just have authorized user status on our credit cards. They don’t abuse it. We don’t complain. D1 reimburses me for rental cars that are used for club sport travel and for times where she pays for dinner for a crowd on the credit card. </p>
<p>D1 tried to get her own credit card, but they turned her down for no income even though she submitted a copy of her accepted offer letter. She’ll try again for a credit card once she starts working next month. Should be no problem. </p>
<p>Neither kid held a menial job and both have super high college GPAs. </p>
<p>Their job is to do their best so that we get our money’s worth. So far I am. </p>
<p>D2 does a lot of volunteer work in her spare time. That’s who she is. I also prefer that. </p>
<p>I don’t think the OP is being unreasonable. </p>
<p>Stmarys…I agree, get a job. You are fortunate that others are funding your college education. How about if you funded your discretionary spending? A job to do so is not meaningless, as it will give you the money to support your spending. </p>
<p>If you can’t find a job on campus, look off campus.</p>
<p>And it is true…working about 10 hours or so a week actually structures your time. And true also that the research supports that this is actually beneficial to do.</p>
<p>But it sounds like you feel entitled to get money from someone else without working. Since you feel that way, how about if YOU work up a budget of realistic expenses, and add them up. Then ask for enough money to fund them.</p>
<p>Work or don’t work. No one here really cares if you do or not during any part of your college experience.</p>
<p>A college graduate with a 4.0 in a STEM degree will be applying for a job right along with the rest of her graduating class. Unless you are getting an MRS degree, you will likely need a job after college. </p>
<p>To get a job, one usually submits a resume and interviews. The most important part of a resume can include, um, what’s that called? Work experience. Interviewers want to know whether you can fit in with a team, so we tend to ask questions of candidates that force them to answer situational questions. Most candidates wisely use experience to answer the questions, even if it isn’t STEM related. We really don’t hire the perfect 4.0 engineers here as they tend to be rather one dimensional and poor fits.</p>
<p>So don’t work. Let your classmates score a good job after graduation. You’ll fondly remember that lazy summer at the lake instead. Your grandpa can just continue to pay the bills. It’s a good plan for all four years plus of college and really for the rest of your life.</p>
<p>@collegevetting – look at the link that @"Erin’s Dad" posted - I think the responsibilities of a part-time job tends to keep students more focused, and allows them to better organize their time. It is not as if students are using all of their spare time to study – so work hours are often simply replacing what would otherwise be unproductive or wasted time. Plus the jobs themselves often lead to making good connections & learning-- and sometimes a career path. </p>
<p>Also, the impact of working on future employability is cumulative. Students move up to better (higher paying, more responsibiity) jobs based in part on their employment history. So the kid who refused to work as a freshman because the available jobs are viewed as a mundane becomes a student who can’t find a better job as a sophomore, because the others students who have been working have better work experiences and connections. </p>
<p>I never worked in college because going to school and getting good grades was my job (per my father). I didn’t allow my D to work during the school year in HS but she did get summer jobs after she got her car and I told her I didn’t want her working during the school year in college (she’s also on a varsity sport so that was really not cool to me), but she got one anyway. Frankly, she has been able to juggle everything and she’s gaining very needed experience - as a CS major with no prior CS anything, working the help desk and getting promoted in the same year has to be valuable. She is not required by me to contribute what little she makes.</p>
<p>Okay, back to your question. I started giving her 200/month (maybe 250?) but she wasn’t spending it - hardly any of it - so at winter break freshman year, I dropped it to 100/month and that seems just about right. Mind you, with her studies, varsity sport and campus job, she has little time to spend money!!!</p>
<p>Just saw another of your posts which reminded me to say my D took off the first summer after freshman year to decompress from the a$$ kicking that was first year - big adjustment. She has an internship this summer and will next summer. I think that’s fine, but not everyone seems to see it that way.</p>
<p>My son’s “meaningless” campus job led to him making a contact which eventually led to his first job after graduation. No job is meaningless. A resume that shows you can balance school and work will be much more impressive. I can understand not working the first semester and adjusting to college life if that’s what feels comfortable for a family, but there’s no reason not to work this summer to cover discretionary spending.</p>
<p>BTW, while I do think a job is a good idea, I am fine with parents who feel that first semester freshman year can be stressful enough that it can wait. I do thing that the 10 hour job is a pretty good rule of thumb for how much money you will need.</p>
<p>For our younger son as far as how we managed his COA - he had a credit card. We reimbursed him for expenses we had agreed to cover, he was responsible for the rest.</p>
<p>I honestly don’t think any job is “meaningless.” Is it going to be fun or save the world? No, but it will build character, allow you to serve others, and provide you with spending money for non-necessities. As several others have pointed it out, it will also help, not hurt your GPA if statistics are any indication. I know romanigypsy worked 50+ hours a week during the semester and graduated with a stellar GPA and honors. I work part-time (20-30 hrs a week) and have a 4.0 GPA as a sophomore double majoring two STEM fields and double minoring in two completely different fields. You have a lot more time in college than you think will. Oh, and I am passionate about the clubs I’m a part of and the places I volunteer at, and it is by no means just way for me to “pad the resume.” My constant goal is to use my talents, skills, and abilities to serve others, make the world a better place, and grow in character and knowledge…no job or project is ever meaningless or beneath me. There’s something to learn from everything. Also, I got involved in a research lab at my current university while still in highschool, so you are definitely qualified to conduct research as a freshman. It wasn’t the greatest research project, and I didn’t get paid, but it did lead to several connections. By the time I was ready to move on, I had several labs conducting breakthrough research offering me paid summer internships and lab positions. Take a break this summer if you really feel you need one, but in the fall, why not try tutoring a few hours a week to “test the waters” and see how you handle it? If it works out, you could consider taking on a real part-time job. You can use sites such as Wyzant to find clients. I work with a lot of elementary/middle school kids and really enjoy working with them. </p>
<p>Oh, and to answer your question, my parents give me $150 a month for housing (I live off-campus and pay $300 monthly for rent) and $200 a month for food (more than enough to eat very healthy, I don’t have the campus meal plan). I don’t have a car because they’ve made it clear that a car, insurance, and gas money would have to come out of my own pocket. Everything else - clothes, personal items, club fees, fun money, etc - is my responsibility and comes from my job. </p>
<p>My daughter’s varsity sport IS her job at college. Some people can’t handle a job, even 10 hours or so a week. That’s fine as long as they are contributing in other ways - cutting expenses, working in the summer, participating in academic projects.</p>
<p>The OP asked how much she should ask for, and only she knows what she needs versus what she wants.</p>
Last year we gave freshman D an initial deposit of $700 and told her we expected that to last AT LEAST 10 weeks, but that she should make it go as far as possible. I don’t think you should just expect that your sons will spend whatever they have. Have them set up bank accounts and manage their own funds and they will be more likely to learn something about $$ than if you just send them $X/week. </p>
<p>This summer, D will have a job, so we expect that she will fill her coffers and be able to manage sophomore sundry expenses mostly on her own. S has had jobs, so has largely managed on his own. The sooner you turn the reins over to them, the sooner they learn.</p>
<p>I didn’t want my kids working in college either, though they have worked at paying jobs and / or had internships and/ or gone to summer school over the summers. We pay for tuition, room, board, books and they get $200/month spending money. Neither of them are spoiled or entitled, and they’re very grateful, so I’m fine with it. They don’t spend it all anyway and both are pretty frugal. Ironically, if they did spend to the limit, I’d probably feel less generous. I know that they appreciate what they have.</p>
<p>Responsibility
Dependability
Dealing with difficult people
Dealing with boredom
Hiding your immediate inappropriate emotional response to a jerk (esp if it’s your supervisor)
Calculating how much of your paycheck is going to taxes, social security etc
Meeting and possibly networking with other students, faculty and staff
Handing conflicts
Learning ways to make the bureaucracy work for you
Finding a work-around when the technology doesn’t work right
Professionalism
How to find answers to questions you weren’t expecting
How to work a cash register
Better handwriting so your phone messages go through correctly
How to socialize with your coworkers, even (especially!) if they aren’t the type of people you normally interact with
Self respect</p>
<p>I saw that…the “what’s mine is his” parent. Sorry, but my kids do not share my accounts with me. They didn’t have any hand in earning any of the money in those accounts. What’s mine, is mine. What’s theirs is theirs. </p>
<p>My kids both had a credit card that was ours for emergency use, or use with our prior consent. They were both college students when a student credit card was part of the college banking package, so they each had their own low limit credit card as well.</p>
<p>People have often asked me how much my kids spent each month while in college…I honestly have no idea. They earned their own money, and were able to spend it as they pleases. I didn’t feel it was any of my business.</p>
<p>I will say…if they had been using MY money, I would have scrutinized every penny spent…and my DD’s $155 hair salon trips every six weeks would have netted a big discussion! The only reason I know those costs is that she shared them with me.</p>