My 13 year old rising 8th grader plays a sport pretty seriously. His coaches tell the kids to come to the first practice of 9th grade (which will be 12 months from now) with a list of 30 - 60 schools they want to start sending film and emails to.
Obviously at 14, early in puberty, it’s impossible to know what level to target for both athletics and academics, so we will list a range.
But what about other things? He’s consistently said he wants to be an engineer since he was tiny (well, when he was tiny he would say “build buildings” or “make robots”), and consistently preferred STEM classes to humanities. Is it reasonable to expect those interests to stay the same? Or do people have kids who seemed sure about one thing at this age, and then ended up doing something totally different?
What about preferences for close/far, big/small, urban/rural, and other things I am forgetting?
And yes, I know his athletic interest could change, or he could get injured, but in that case we’ll have more time to decide.
My kid went from loving sports and wanting to play in college in 9th grade to entering as a music major. He added a sport junior year and dropped a different sport he had done since middle school his senior year.
He was 2 years ahead in math and ended up hating it and refusing to do a math course senior year.
I saw him fitting in best at a midsize school with lots of spirit and thats where he ended up (he had no real vibe preference he was able to verbalize). Cuse bound.
Many of us started off thinking STEM and ended up in something very different.
I think at earlier ages it is often easier to imagine a cool STEM career than a rewarding non-STEM career. And STEM at earlier ages can be really fun and interesting, at least for the kids pretty good at early math.
But eventually–eventually some of us hit a level where STEM actually isn’t so fun anymore. And meanwhile, even though when young we never thought of ourselves as arts, humanities, or social sciences students, we eventually find something we really enjoy, maybe in part because in many cases the options actually get a lot more interesting.
Of course lots of kids also stay in STEM. My point is just I think it is pretty common for some kids to make that sort of transition, sooner or later.
I understand this can make sports recruitment challenging, but personally I think there is a lot to be said for colleges where you keep your options open.
Forget 9th. My kid went from astrophysics to Pro Pilot to Atmospheric Sciences to MechE in his last two years.
He went from dreaming of WUSTL until he did a week at Purdue - much bigger and that was his fave. Til he visited Bama and saw the pristine campus and solo dorm room and he flipped again.
It’s waaaaay too early to wonder about yours.
Kids flip in college and post college. I’m in a job I never knew existed.
In a few years if he continues with STEM interest send him to a program like STEP at Purdue if he qualifies.
Mostly, my STEM kids stayed the course. DS started programming and joined the robotics team when he was in elementary school, went on to captain his hs robotics team, and is headed to college as an engineering major.
DD also knew from a young age that biology was her passion; she’s been reading genetics textbooks since middle school. Tried to combine academics and sports but ultimately decided not to apply to MIT despite coach support. Chose the ivy she fell in love with at first sight, majored in bio, played club sports, and never looked back.
My eldest switched from physics to sociology. Every kid is different. Nobody can predict how things will turn out for your kid.
Edited to add: If your kid plays a competitive/club sport and is embarking on the recruiting journey, then a preliminary college list is not an unusual request from a coach. Recruiting for my kid began in earnest the summer after 9th grade.
Club coaches have established relationships with college coaches so having a general list of colleges now helps them strategize and determine where they might have the most influence for your athlete.
My kid knew she wanted high academics and a competitive program so only targeted colleges and conferences that offered that combination. Did she love every NESCAC school? No, but it was a starting point. Think big picture now because the list will get refined over time.
The recruiting journey can be a fraught, soul crushing one. Stay flexible and try to enjoy the ride.
Kid 1 was an art kid through middle school and early HS. Realized around 11th grade that it was a very tough slog in college and beyond, and became “undecided” more or less, with a mild lean towards cog-pneuroscience/psychology, possibly for pre-med. Took a programming class 2nd semester of 1st year in college, fell in love with it, graduated with CS degree, now programming for a BigTech company in Cali.
Kid 2 was pretty STEM-y all along. Had kinda liked a geology class around 7th grade. Was leaning engineering, maybe nuclear engineering, and started college that way. Switched after a semester or two to geological engineering and graduated with that. Didn’t like the geoeng job market, took a job that’s closer to civil engineering, with the state DOT, pursuing a Master’s (part time) in system engineering for better career opportunities.
Kid 3 was very into robotics from elementary school on, stayed with that interest and will be entering college next month for Mech Eng.
Kids had no strong preferences about colleges until ~10th-11th grade.
I think some kids think they want to be engineers because they enjoy tinkering. Then they hit advanced math and they’re on to other endeavors.
My dad, uncle and son are all engineers and math is/was in their blood. Things that challenged others just came naturally to them.
If your son is strong in math and thinks engineering is his calling, it probably will be. My son knew at 12.
Don’t worry about school size and other considerations until sophomore year. Then take them to a small, medium and large school in your home or adjacent state that they’ll certainly get into. Then from there they can build a real list in their Junior year.
My zero-sports kid was passionate about digital film production from 5th grade through 10th. He won two film festival awards before heading off to boarding school where he started a film club and produced shorts, admissions videos, and did all manner of video production and editing for other campus clubs and school initiatives. He was hell bent on USC for film school until one week before starting his junior year when he sat us down and said, “Mom, dad, I need to talk to you…” He majored in EE at West Point and is now serving as a Cyber officer while completing a master’s in CS. Yes, their preferences can change.
When my kids were in HS they played varsity sports. My younger one was also involved in various clubs and student council. We didn’t really discuss college until the middle of sophomore year, and neither kid had a career in mind at that time. We visited schools junior year and that’s when their college preferences emerged.
My older one decided on a career path the summer before her senior year of HS and never changed her mind.
My younger one changed her major 3-4 times. She finally settled on a major but had no idea where she was going with it until she was into her 20’s. She was heading to medical school, possibly a PhD, then she thought perhaps she would do immigration law (that was short lived), back to medical school (had the prerequisites, shadowing, etc) then she was going to become a nurse practitioner (accepted to programs, changed her mind). Thankfully she was in a gap year program after college, so she had time to figure things out.
Now, after working a few years, she’s heading to grad school to pursue a career in a field that she always loved but was afraid to apply due to the limited number of programs/available spots. Weird how she didn’t have this fear about medical school.
It’s all good. 13 is very young. Even 22 is very young.
A list of 60 schools (and you can always add more!) allows you to include a wide range of schools, so there’s no need to focus on only one type of school at this point. Include a mix of small/large, rural/urban, d1/d3, with engineering/without. As his athletic and academic level (and his preferences) become clearer over the next two years, the list will naturally get pruned and modified.
Really? Totally ridiculous IMO. Find me an 8th grader who knows more than a couple of colleges. The coach means “Parents, bring a list of where YOU want your kids to go.”
To answer the title of your post, in my experience, they change a lot. I have kids, and I work with high schoolers for a living. If I had a dime for every kid who wants to study marine biology or computer science, and ends up in a completely different major, I would be rich indeed.
My eldest attended a competitive coding program in the summer before senior year. Realized she had no real interest and ended up majoring in something totally unrelated. And from the start of senior year to the time she finished applying, her list of colleges continued to change.
My youngest thought he wanted a rah rah football college and got into at least three that fit the bill. He ended choosing a school with no football team at all and had a great time there.
Kids on an athletic recruiting track will probably not be changing their college lists a lot after a certain point, but the vast majority of students will have many changing interests during high school. The kid who says they want to be a doctor when they grow up, most likely won’t be. Assume nothing.
My son was really good at basketball in middle school and his dream was to be in the NBA. He played point guard on a top level AAU team and was ranked as a top prospect for his age group by a respected national website. Then he stopped growing. Just completely stopped. He eventually fell off the prospect list. He’s 22 now and is 5’7”. So much for the basketball career. He was recruited by some D3 teams but really had no interest in that as he preferred larger schools. Basketball ended up not entering into his school choice at all.
Bit of a random addition, but my S24 is currently attending one of those summer programs at a university where rising juniors and seniors are in residence and can take some of the university’s summer classes alongside regular college students. And according to him, some of the other people in the program are changing their minds about where they want to go for college as a result of that experience.
Just another example of how these sorts of experiences can (not necessarily will) change such preferences. Which is perfectly rational.
It’s way too early to be thinking about colleges and career paths. I have never heard of a coach making a request like this. Is this common? What a way to ruin healthy physical activity and fun. Wait, it has already been ruined but this is another step too far.
And yes, preferences can change during high school, during college and during life.
First…I’ll comment about this. Longtime posters know that one of my kids always wanted to be an engineer, and in fact completed a major in engineering in college. That kid also picked up a second major, and the kid will never be an engineer. Kid loved the courses, but the idea of working as an engineer didn’t end up appealing. And yes, kid knew plenty about engineering and that work as Dad is an engineer.
We visited SMU with older kid when younger kid was in about 8th grade. Younger Kid was with us and announced that SMU was the perfect college and they intended to apply and attend. Said there would be no need for any further college visits. Fast forward to 10th grade when we started college visits…mentioned this to the kid and just wanted clarification that this SMU thing was still the case. Kid replied “I don’t want to go to college on Texas”. Ahem….that’s where SMU is.
So…yes kids do change. Some change before they apply to college. Some change during college (kids switch majors and transfer colleges…it happens). And some change after college.
Changes happen. Perspectives change.
I will add…older kid in this family never has changed. Knew what he wanted in about 3rd grade. And continues to pursue it professionally now.
It works the same way in academics. Success takes more than an interest (and/or a parental desire). Not only a kid’s interest can change, and change rapidly, but s/he may, or may not, have a competitive advantage to succeed in the area of her/his interest. Time will tell. It’s too early now for most kids of that age.
This outcome, where he stops playing sports, or doesn’t want to play in college, doesn’t worry me.
I mean, obviously I don’t want him to get hurt and have the choice to play or not taken away from him. But he’s a super competitive kid, and I can imagine him reaching a point where he can’t be “the best” in both sports and academics and chooses one over the other.
But if that happens, and he picks academics, then he can restart the college process, because as I understand it he won’t have missed anything if he starts looking with that lens in 11th grade.
On the other hand, his coaches make it sound like sending emails to college coaches in 9th grade is a thing everyone is doing, and if he doesn’t do it doors will close.
Maybe they are right, maybe they’re wrong, but he’s not going to take my word over theirs unless I don’t give him a choice, and waiting isn’t something I’m going to force.
I think the important thing is that they are interested in “something”. What they eventually do, or study, may change but having interests helps in setting goals. Our S started off wanting to be a trash truck driver. He’s come a long way.
But a list of 30 schools of interest now is a little much ( by about 30).