@DrGoogle , no, no one at his / her death bed would ever wish they had worked longer. However, a productive work ethic masks a great number of personal dysfunctions and sins, particularly in this culture. What is unfortunate is when one fails to apply the same work ethic towards one’s personal life. But then, sometimes, that’s like…what’s the saying, herding cats?
Some people work too hard. I’ve heard this story from my acupuncturist, on her travel, her husband and her met this man in his 50s, traveling alone. He confided in her his wife died so he had to travel alone. When she was alive, she worked hard and turned all the money to him, keeping only $20 for spending money. After 20 years, she had cancer and died, never did enjoy her hard work and labor. Not only that she left him by himself. A good example to enjoying one life while one can because who knows. I’m into the work hard and play hard mode and delayed gratification. But strinking the right balance is hard for some people.
But I do get some slight annoyance when I’ve heard 30s or 40s something want to retire early. Somebody has to pay into SS is my thought :D.
@DrGoogle , the story is sad. I don’t understand anyone (least of all a woman) who turns all money over to the spouse. That is to be distinguished from a spouse who delegates management to the more financially interested or “expert” spouse, which is not all that unusual. But this woman sounds atypical and appears to be an extreme case of saver + spend-a-phobe. But, perhaps they complimented one another or perhaps they were working out some personal histories.
And, no, I definitely do not understand those who aspire to retire during their 30s. Unless they are self-made and self-supporting, I do not see how they aren’t being subsidized in some way by the rest of us working stiffs. And, perhaps they have some very interesting extra-work interests that can sustain them for 40+ years.
While I don’t think I would regret not working more ( I do work a lot), it would be easy to imagine regretting not contributing enough, which I do through my work. I don’t think I will, but one could regret not leaving enough behind for ones suppose and progeny.
@attorneymom, maybe to some cultures, it’s the norm, I don’t quite understand it myself. My acupuncturist is Chinese from China so I think perhaps this man is Asian.
The wannabe 30s and 40s are mostly from investment banking or high tech, they made money already, but the thought of staying in NYC for just another million dollar is too much to bear. They want to move to somewhere cheaper, even though living in NYC even for that high cost of living, they can still save, but they put their lives on hold, their families are not from the surrounding area. Same with the young high tech engineers in Silicon Valley, they can’t stand the high price or living there, so just waiting for the stock options to mature and then leave.
I do think the books bring up a lot of good things to think about in preparing in all ways for retirement years.
Sis just went to a funeral for a married 31 YO cafeteria worker at her school, two children under age 6 and a middle school child. Had high blood pressure. Died of a major heart attack - must have had some un-diagnosed condition, but her also having high BP at 31 should also be major alarm bells.
A lot of people get diagnosed with cancer in their 50’s (like me at age 52). I just heard where 1 out of 2 men and 1 out of 3 women will have cancer in their lifetime - I know when women get older and older, the chance for breast cancer goes to 1 out of 2. At least I have that worry behind me I believe…
Fighting the overweight…during cancer treatments gained weight, and other health things seem to come up on my road to losing weight and creating a setback. However I do look younger than my chronological age - just saw a photo of my brother 13 months older than me and the grey in his hair/beard and other characteristics make him look much older than me. I have been an almost ‘natural’ blonde with a little help for 40 years. Great hair and skin can go a long way with looking good. My older sis (who has a high maintenance H) has more facial wrinkling; definitely has had a more stressful life; however she is way ahead of me in being at a good weight.
I was expecting H to be a little reactive (negative) having to go to the urology office for his annual PSA and then a week later for his once every other year PE with urologist (got the appts set up and had him mark on his work calendar; his dad and all 5 of his brothers currently have prostate cancer, with 2 having died of it due to late diagnosis; the others will die of other things with their stuff under local control - oldest uncle is in his late 80’s and still active/living in his own home with his wife just down the street from FIL/MIL). Maybe H is realizing I am keeping him in good health so he can enjoy his retirement in 6 years. Maybe also because younger GF of BIL is fighting pancreatic cancer (she is 51)/52). None of the docs I have spoken to of H’s dad/uncles’ prostrate cancer have ever heard of this high statistic, 6/6. So far none of the next generation have it.
@DrGoogle , then it sounds like they are making hay while the sun shines. There is nothing wrong with that, as long as there is an exit plan. I know many attorneys who started out in Wall Street or mega firms, worked day and night, made some biggish bucks and got some experience for their back pockets, then bailed out. But some were happy to stay in the rat race. There was a time when their expertise alone would have made them quite marketable.
The same goes for bankers and high-tech stock-option grantees. It’s hard to decide when to stop unless one has a clear exit plan. Those are the smart ones. Hence my suggestion that living large when one first gets paid well is not part of a good exit strategy. Markets have a way of turning.
@Shawbridge , I find it interesting that if one discusses leaving one’s spouse well-provided for it hardly ever causes the blink of an eye. Substitute “progeny” and heck can break loose. Everyone’s mileage will vary. I just keep my plans to myself. 
I will throw the progeny question to the group. My wife and I have been discussing this. After meeting with an estate attorney, my wife turned to me and said: “let’s spend more.”
IMO, there is an amount of money that is fine to provide a safety net for your kids. More than that, and they might get sidetracked. As Buffett said, and I’m paraphrasing because I’m too lazy to look it up: “I gave my kids enough to feel that they could do anything they wanted, but not enough to feel that they want to do nothing.”
What is your view?
ETA: this question assumes that there is not a special-needs situation. In those, every nickel you can scrape together is probably barely enough.
I’m pretty confident that S will always have enough money. I’m less certain about D, since she’s never held a full-time job yet and has some health inssues that have interfered. We’d like to leave them a bit but do plan to enjoy ourselves and our lifetime savings and earnings some–perhaps with experiences that we will include our kids sometimes. 
Bob, I agree with your wife. Unless there is a special reason, it’s not a good idea to leave my kids more than necessary.
I’ve seen that with many rich kids from my culture and not just in America.
Anyone here planning to leave educational funds for grandkids? We don’t have any little ones yet, but that is something I would be interested in contributing toward–maybe mathcing funding?
What if there are no grand kids? I wonder some times where would the fund go?
Depends on what the terms are. I wouldn’t set up any fund for grandkids until such grandkids are born. A smart attorney would write into the bequest or instrument where the funds go in case the grandkids pre-decease the need to use the funds. If it’s an ed fund, generally they are transferrable to others in the family for ed purposes without penalty.
I will be waiting for a long time then, so I won’t worry yet.
Yea, as far as we know, our kids aren’t dating, so a long way from getting married and/or producing grandkids.
@IxnayBob , as I see it, the solution lies in answering the following questions for a start:
(1) Are you confident that (the generic “you”) you and your spouse will have enough to take care of your retirement and old-age care needs (through age 90+) no matter what turns the market takes.
(2) If so, do you want to relinquish ownership and control of a certain amount of money now so that (a) it’s taken out of your estate and (b) you can continue to take care of (1) without regard to (2).
(3) If the amount in (2) is potentially life-changing to progeny, at what age should (a) progeny become aware of it and (b) have dominion over it. What protections do you want to put on progeny’s money against spouses and creditors, in which case the amount in (2) has to be settled into an inter-vivos trust. Having locks put on progeny’s money can also carry implied messages and have unforeseen consequences.
(4) If the amount in (2) is significant, then progeny better know how to handle money, which is a skill that must be developed over time.
(5) If spending more during one’s lifetime is the solution to leaving behind too much money, one’s progeny may have grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle that may or may not have instilled certain values.
Do you have anything to add to the list of questions and considerations?
@AttorneyMother, i stumble over the phrase “life-changing” in (3). Lets say you’re leaving a kid $2M. You know it’s not life-changing in the sense if spend, spend, and you’ll never run out, but to a kid it might be close to infinite money. $2M, if treated wisely, can make a dramatic positive difference in a young adult’s financial life, or it can be a hinderance.
Re (1), short of us all living in caves and using guns to settle every disagreement? I guess the market could go to 1% of its current value, and inflation could match the worst ever seen, but that’s unlikely. Barring catastrophe, we should be okay.
Re (5), my wife was mostly joking. We spend on living well, but we are not ostentatious. I think that at some point it would be nice to give the “surplus” to charity.
@IxnayBob , that’s why it’s such an individual-specific decision and there are as many differing opinions as there are on any hot-potato issues like this one. I’ve tried asking one of my closer friends about her opinion in a very nonchalant way, but got absolutely nowhere because it falls within the money-sex-politics no-fly zone. Then I broached the subject with an older attorney acquaintance who essentially said: “I got nothing from my parents, so my kids better not expect anything from me until I’m dead. It’s my money.”
I will say that the questions I posted are essentially what one of the estate-planning attorneys we retained to help us with H’s parents’ estates suggested H and I evaluate, discuss and consider. And, of course, H and I have to be in agreement when we proceed.
I’m guessing somewhere around 50-60% of our retirement income, maybe more, will come from our rental properties. We don’t ever plan to sell them, as they will be a huge cash cow. The kids will inherit them at some point, which (with any luck) will be near the time when they are thinking about retirement. They certainly know we have them, but I don’t know if they’ve really thought about what it will mean to get them, or what they will be worth.
I don’t anticipate transferring significant amounts to my kids. Maybe for grandkids’ education? That’s a long way off though.
In the meantime, DS is putting money into his own 401k, I’m sure DD will do the same after she graduates (one more semester!!!).
My father always said that his goal was to spend his last dollar as he was drawing his last breath. It didn’t work out that way, but I understand the sentiment.