If that’s the desire, SPIAs are the answer.
@notrichenough , my D’s piano teacher is a descendant of one of the original families who settled our city. One of the libraries is named after her father because he donated the land. Some local parks and neighborhoods are named after the family. After approx. 30 years of selling property to various housing developers, and developing some apartment buildings themselves, she and her husband are bringing their only son into the family real estate business because he is their only child. Before that, he did a stint in marketing, but I think it was always understood that he would take over the family biz rather than getting a pot of money.
If our D ends up not having children, then she can do whatever she wants to with her money after she satisfies our charitable bequests.
He didn’t mean it literally, it was just his way of telling us not to expect anything and plan for ourselves.He had a company pension, army pension, and SS, there was no need for further annuities.
@AttorneyMother, I’ve been dragging my kids along to help with maintenance and renovations and what-not for years, and have heard endless discussions about mortgages, finances, credit, tenants, etc because we discuss that stuff fairly openly, between our holdings and DW being a RE agent. So I feel like they have already had some preparation to manage this stuff.
@notrichenough , learning by diffusion (not osmosis, as my D likes to correct me) is the best way! I inadvertently got our D started with the pile of WSJs that used to sit for a week at a time on our breakfast table. She was a slow eater. 
Our two kids are learning like we did how to live within a budget; they have an educational fund (not in the traditional sense; have stocks in a custodial account, and transfer money into their personal bank/credit union checking account in chunks maybe once a year). Older DD has some educational options she is exploring after she graduates in May 2016. She has been talking about getting a car, but I reminded her that her funds are very limited and she can use our car (with us paying all maintenance and insurance) - currently she is using one of our very nice vehicles, but DD2 will have that opportunity once DD1 graduates. Currently DD1 is turning her nose at the older 4 door/full size car option (as DD2 did driving it to HS senior year - she had the choice to drive it or have me drop her off - she got over it).
H and I shared a car for 3 years into our marriage (had our first purchased home within 2 months of wedding) and then H got a good beater before we sold it to a 16 YO and bought a better 2nd car.
Kids do have to learn (often by experience) how to delay gratification. Sometimes can see by example, but other times ‘experience is the best teacher’.
Both kids know what we have will be theirs. However I do think they want us around for a long time. They also know we have their best interests at heart.
One thing both enjoy is that mom will shop with them and buy clothes/shoes that are reasonably priced and that are very needed/useful. For example DD1 got a new pair of Nike running shoes (both were home for Holiday); went running with dad and said they were great! DD1 also got a nice looking and nice fitting dress that she wore to church and H even noticed/complimented.
At some point, we may have some insurance money go to a school or a charity. We try to give along the way and hope DDs also do the same - time, talent and treasure.
What we learn now - one DD went on a HS date w/o us knowing about it (was a double date with her good friend); another has a ‘blind date’ on Tuesday matched up by a friend, also a double date. Glad they are finding social opportunities (DD2 was seeing someone in the spring; I believe he is now officially a BF but we haven’t met him yet).
Re: “both were home for Holiday.”
Enjoy the years when they are still home for extended stay. The precious time (i.e., when they still share a lot of their time/life with you) will not last very long. (I guess they are still college students??) We missed those years when DS was still a college student. He flied home during almost every break for 4 years.)
Re: car shared with children.
We shipped one of our cars to our young adult son on the other coast more than half a year ago. Not sure whether he would transfer the title to his name. (We urge him to do so. Otherwise, the smog test which will be required by our state could be a problem in the future. We could not ship the car back just for the smog test and then ship it back.)
Yes kids are in college and college age (19 and 21). They often share info at meals out…H and I don’t ask many questions, just let them talk. Also nice that both attend school not far (100 mi; 150 mi and they are an hour apart from each other - so we travel in same direction to see them, and they also get together occasionally too). We are older parents - we both turn 59 this year - but H and I can pass for younger . We moved 5 X in 6 years across three non-connecting states during early married life, and had a bit of life in the 15 years of marriage before children. The kid’s classmate’s parents are usually 10 -15 years younger than us so they think we are younger too for the most part. We felt ‘settled’ once we built our home here 22 years ago.
DD1 has exams Mon and Wed - she plans to call me after Monday exam. I am praying for good results! She is a good student but has aspirations for advanced degree(s). All we can do is be at the sidelines and cheer. We went to IHOP this morning after church - H and DD2 were hankering for a short stack. I made ribs when we got home, so sent ribs and other foods back with DD1. Not too much one can do for them as they take on more adult responsibilities and independence. Just help them hoist the sails and have a home port for them to have respite. DD2 is home for summer job and goes back to school in 5 weeks - has an Summer 2016 intern interview coming up with a great company in her field (civil eng). Hope she secures that - it would make life easier to have that in place and not continue the secure interview process.
I know many have tighter finances than us, but our emergency fund is not really big enough. So moving forward with caution.
Talk about car. My sister just bought a new home and now a new car. She’s living it up. I’m going to scout for new landscaping for her house. Landscaping is kind of like a hobby of mine, so I volunteered to do it, but I want to know if I can make find a reasonable price then the ones she’s been given quotes for. I won’t be able to physically do it but I can oversea the work done. I will call the nursery tomorrow.
I think it’s easier to retire as a couple, but for a single person, it’s best to be near some body like a relative. She is a bit scared in moving to this new house, I understand completely the feeling, it took my husband and I a few months to feel at home at this new place. I wonder how do people move far away in retirement. I would be completely lost.
“I think it’s easier to retire as a couple, but for a single person, it’s best to be near some body like a relative. She is a bit scared in moving to this new house, I understand completely the feeling, it took my husband and I a few months to feel at home at this new place. I wonder how do people move far away in retirement. I would be completely lost.”
Is she moving far away from where she was? Or same area, but different house? If she’s staying near where she was before, that seems nothing to be scared of, and that she should adapt quickly. I have heard that sometimes moving to a completely different location is a big mistake. You move to where you think the dream location is, but you have no friends or family there. You don’t get to know anyone, and then you regret leaving. You thought you’d be living the dream, but you’re miserable. I agree, it would be much easier as a couple.
Well, it’s only 20 minutes away from her old home and she works in this new city. But she said she doesn’t feel quite at home yet. She did go around the neighborhood and introduced herself.
Yes, as it’s pertinent to the retirement thread, most people want to downsize and sell their house. But for some people, it’s not easy, I can see it with my own relative, even the location is not too far away. She bought the house for nearly 2 months and have not yet settled in.
How about moving back to a location that you used to live for a long time in the past? Is it better than somewhere totally new to you?
After we retire, we are looking forward to moving back to the place where we lived before - where we raised our child for decades (but our child would not follow us there so it will be an empty nest.) At least this is one of our plans. The only problem is the house (which we still keep) is too large for us two. We do not need to live in a 5 bedroom house. Another alternative plan is to move back to the same city, rent a smaller place and keep leasing our house to our tenants. (They need to live in a good school district but we do not.)
I wonder how a retiree with a limited income (we won’t be able to, and are not willing to, collect SS yet before 66) is qualified to rent a house/condo/apartment. Buying some annuity to create your own regular income stream? Prepaying the rent? I just look it up. It seems the monthly gross income should be at least 3 times the rent. I even do not know how to distribute money from our 401k and traditional IRA regularly for living expenses (I do know there is no penalty since we have passed 59 and 1/2 yo.)
@mcat2, our plan is to move some place part-time now, which we might become our only residence later. It will be smaller than our house but not necessarily cheaper.
We almost moved back to where we lived before kids but I think it would be a completely new city for everybody. Sure we lived there before but the kids don’t feel like it’s their home. My husband likes where we live much better, I’m glad I didn’t move farther because I think where we live is more central.
We moved a long distance several times before - like one half of the continent. Our next move after we retire will be one half of the continent as well. Another plan is to temporarily move back to my “home country” (before we immigrated here) and stay there till the Medicare kicks in. (the health insurance there is much cheaper) This is mostly because the living cost is lower over there. But my wife said: She won’t move there - unless I can “prove” to her we really can not “survive” here.
@shawbridge, are you planning to move to California to be closer to your son?
Moving is hard because my sister has to de-clutter, too many papers as she mentioned, and she is still working. Last Friday she was working till 9:00pm. Oy!
We are probably going to move back to a beach area about 30 miles from where I grew up. We are fortunate to have bought the property next to my father, my sister just bought a property three doors down, my two cousins bought a joint house 1/2 mile away on the same street, and my other cousin has a condo 1/2 mile down from them on the same street. Right now they are all vacation places and, except for my father, we all live elsewhere. We range in age from 50 to 60, except for Dad who is 88, so our goal is not to get sick of each other in our old age.
@DrGoogle, yes. To Bay Area for the winter. We found a painting studio for ShawWife and are going to go out in early September to find a place to live.
ShawD is currently near us on the East Coast. Although the trust owns a nice condo that she and a roommate live in and pay rent to, she finishes her masters to become a Nurse Practitioner in May and has been talking about moving to CA or joining the Navy (not our favorite idea for a female but they apparently have a great mentoring program for NPs). We’ll see where it all shakes out and thus where we end up. Of course, these are two of the most expensive real estate markets in the country. We’re a bit RE heavy on this coast – four properties but only (our house) is large.
Incidentally, ShawWife and I were helping my 91 year old mother prepare to sell the house that she has lived in for 50 years. It is huge – 5500 sq ft on over half an acre in a very nice NJ suburb with a 15 minute walk to the train station to NY. We interviewed realtors last weekend and met with one next door neighbor who would like to buy it. It is huge and to get top price, she’d have to do a lot of significant renovations, which she isn’t going to do. She wants to stay in the same town – big community from the synagogue and Jewish community generally – but also talked to moving to Boynton Beach or Siesta Key, FL. Given where I live and the Bay Area, the a decent-looking 2 or 3 BR condo in what seems to be a nice place appears dirt-cheap. I feel like buying someplace there and renting it out to my mother (too complicated, I think) or otherwise just because the prices seem low compared to the rentals. I’m sure there are better places in FL, but I don’t know the market.
I just talked to a couple on Sunday - they are both 80 and they are leaving here to move down the street from their son in a city several hours away from here. In a way, they are giving up their friends and things familiar here, and a piece of independence (or acknowledgement that they have to be prepared for physical limitations as they age). I joked “I guess it is comforting that if you fall, your son is right down the street” - we laughed, but not far from the truth. They had a condo in another state that they just sold too. Transitions…
It seems that everytime I went to a bank for transfering the money from one type of traditional IRA account (say, CD) to another type of traditional IRA account (say, money market saving IRA account), they are not very sure about the procedure of closing an IRA account and opening another IRA account. I could sense that this is a “challenging” task for them as they do not know what to do next in front of their computer or what forms they need to use (for me to sign.) This is one of the MAJOR national banks. It is frustrating to deal with the newbies there. In the future, when we need to have a distribution from our IRA, I suspect they may not know how to do it either. They are polite and are trying to be helpful; but my experience (dealing with TWO national banks) has always been like this - it takes several hours (a variety of excuses - slow computer system, old account was opened at another branch of the SAME bank, too many government rules, as if no other customer has ever had any kind of IRA accounts with them before and you are their first customer for this “strange” account), they need to call their “experts” while you are made to wait there while they are consulting with their experts in their “back office” several states away (different experts may give them different answers - so the experts may not be experts after all.) It costs a lot of their timd and our time (often multiple trips to the bank.) Rant off!
Does anyone here have any such a bad experience like this? Maybe I should go to places like Fidelity or Vangard which may be more competent, or I just imagine the grass is greener over there?
Local banks are by and large, not in the retirement business. Vanguard, Fidelity, et al are set up for exactly this kind of stuff and have paperwork and competent people who can arrange for transfers, distributions., etc. I’m a former 401(k) plan administrator and I worked at Vanguard early in my career. Transfers from banks vs. mutual funds ALWAYS took longer and were the bane of my existence. The folks working at the bank are not trained in these regs – they are there to process basic transactions. (I was a bank teller in college.) Vanguard and Fidelity have low fees, a wide selection of options, and you can invest based on your risk tolerance. To me, it’s a win-win.