Good thing I have an only child. Nobody to squabble with.
@bluebayou - see your parenthetical. Thatâs the most likely scenario in this case. Attorney will notify siblings that he advised as to which bills needed to be paid and that all unreimbursed expenses (including some relating to the funeral) will be reimbursed from the estate account. I fully suspect that what @bluebayou posits will occur. Not counting on the proceeds of this estate to impact our retirement, financially, but the stress and general agony of dealing with the siblings as executor will certainly impact his retirement from other perspectives. And no, he canât walk away from this - there are siblings whose interests should be protected from the âsharksâ and H is in the best position to do so.
âcover ongoing expenses until death certificates arriveâŠâ - Perhaps I am naive here. i assumed that a death certificate is available within a few days of death. How long does it take?
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Per the question on "other doc" (beyond just the Will), here is more info https://www.care.com/c/stories/15471/4-legal-documents-every-adult-needs/
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Note - Some other similar links also mentions setting up revokable trusts. That was recommended to us at recent lawyer review (free service with our financial planner). At this point we declined since we have a simple situation (all assets set up to go to other spouse ⊠then kids). A trust does allow you to do things like decide payout dates, tax optiimization etc⊠and we may decided to create one once down the road. Itâs worth researching, especially in states (like FL) with tricky probate.
I wouldnât leave a house TOD to multiple beneficiaries. Sometimes siblings donât get along (see multiple posts above) and selling a house that you co-own with people you donât get along with is a nightmare.
Leave it to the estate, let the executor deal with it.
âlet the executor deal with it.â - At this point, our executor is our older child (and the one that still lives in CO). If we stay in this house (or another purchased property) long term it may make sense to leave it just to Colorado_kid, who is likely to be the bigger helper during our later years. (There are plenty of other assets to split 50/50).
@Iglooo - agree with you on the ease of having an only child. I am one and our ds is one as well. It certainly keeps things much simpler. I canât believe some of the crap I hear from friends talking about sibling issues related to estates and estate planning - and these squabbles are happening before the elderly parents have died!
Depends on the state/county. It took 6+ weeks to obtain the death cert in CA when my step-mom passed back in 2016.
Los Angeles County says â20 working daysâ so that is at least four weeks.
In my case, one of the two sibs will be the executor, so theyâll have to deal with it anyway. As everything else is PoD/ToD, no need for an attorney in CA.
Plus if they want to keep the house and rent it out, the home maintains Prop 13 tax basis.
What do you call PTSD for something that you know is going to happen in your future with your siblings? Anxiety, I guess.
This is a great way to express what I am feeling about this issue. I am trying to put the anxiety aside by saying, âI have a lawyer who will help me.â I am expecting every dirty trick in the book. Sigh.
In February of this year we received a death certificate from Orange County in about a week.
I would call this âanticipatory angstâ or an âexpectation of a self-fulfilling prophecy.â I really feel for folks. It is kind of nutso what money does to some people. People struggle to agree on what is âfair.â Iâve seen all kinds of schemes set up to try to deal with the tensions, but it truly seems unavoidable among certain people.
So, a bit upthread I asked about incurring a mortgage for folks in their mid-50âs. We contacted a mortgage broker and sought and received approval up to the jumbo loan amount with no issue. We kept it below that amount to streamline the process and keep things simple. We were offered 3%. We wanted pre-approval so we could be ready to make an offer if we found something we wanted.
I am happy to report that we are under contract for a larger, beachside condo with an in-unit washer and dryer! Hooray! We never intended to stay in this spot forever, but recent world events have made us more inclined to seize the day and not delay. I know it sounds impulsive, but it really wasnât. We have been looking for awhile and have always been keen on this particular building.
We decided to skip a mortgage.
And now I am going to start a thread on the best way to choose a moving company. 
Congrats, @Hoggirl! Iâm certain the upgrade will provide you with huge dividends in your daily lifestyle.
Congratulations, @Hoggirl ! Hope the view is amazing!
@Hoggirl Great News! Enjoy your new place! You got everything you wanted.
Congrats @Hoggirl. Sounds like quality of life will go way up.
The quality of life on our end has gone way up with our move. Will be even higher when we sell the old house.
Great news @Hoggirl.
Is it near your current place?
Is it much bigger?
Iâm hoping for no Thanksgiving angst this year.
Sounds like you got exactly what you wanted. Congrats, @Hoggirl.
You are thoughtful to remember the Thanksgiving challenges! Ds and mil will have to share a bathroom, but they will each have their own bedroom! Everyone can be under one roof.
It is literally (I mean, literally - address is one digit difference) across the street from where we currently live. We have dear friends in our current building, love our neighborhood pub, our local craft beer/wine shop, and the beach we cross to for sunset. We get to keep all those things, but just be ON the beach! Hooray!
Three bedrooms and two baths. Our current is 2/2. Our living space is going from 935 sq ft to 1,600 and change. A very nice increase. We are looking forward to more elbow room, even when it is only the two of us!
@doschicos @notrichenough @Iglooo @shawbridge @shellfell @1214mom - thanks for all the congrats! We are VERY excited!
This is a thought about dealing with estates beforehand. I try to fix things before the problems get big.
Example: ShawWife and her siblings are really well-intentioned and value their relationships highly. However, ShawWifeâs mother has tried to transfer some of her assets in ways that match her vision of how things should be in the future, without taking into account the different interests and needs of her children. And because half of the sibs live in Canada and half in the US, I have taken to pre-emptive fixing of her arrangements before conflicts arise. Iâve tried to get her to think that way, but she is not very good at listening. Iâve finished one transfer of a vacation house that she intended to be owned by all siblings (so A, B, C and D each were to own 25%), but she legally transferred it to A and B because they were Canadian taxpayers. And, when she asked, only A and C want to own the house and invest in fixing it up. Not all tax filings were done and it was unclear what the house was worth when she transferred it to A and B. Amazingly, B didnât know that they owned half the house. I worked with two law firms to eliminate almost all of the tax that would be required to transfer ownership, but it was really a lot of work. And, while all of the siblings are cooperative, the husband of one of the siblings seems a bit short-term and grabby and could definitely have caused a problem. I have had to deal with him separately as well to keep him from sewing discord.
The house is really not worth much because it is a region with tons of lakes. When the economy gets strong and there is increased demand for lake houses, new supply opens up to keep prices down. So the battle, if we had had to have one, would have been over a small amount of money â the value of the house is really sentimental.