Yes, life can have a way of changing things. My husband decided he is retiring next year at age 58. I think he sees that life is going too fast, and wants to be able to stay healthy and do the things he wants while he’s still able. He has many hobbies and projects that will keep him physically and mentally healthy. I am rather jealous of that, since I haven’t come up with much for myself. He’s fine with me continuing to work or retiring with him. I’m kind of leaning that way, life is short, may as well enjoy it while you can. I’ve been watching my parents and other people of their generation squirrel away money with no particular purpose, just out of fear, still living like they’re poor, when they’re sitting on large sums of money.
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My H retired a year ago at 58. Our plan is to travel. A lot. That didn’t happen this year, but hoping that will change soon. We also watched my parents finally decide to start spending more money once my dad retired. Luckily, they had several years of great experiences before my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and passed shortly afterwards at 69. Life is short.
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I am one of those people choosing to retire and “leaving money on the table.” Money isn’t everything.
When I retire in March (or about then) I will have been paid/worked every day for about 38 years. I feel like doing some “fun” things while I am still able is more important than continuing to build wealth, when we know we have enough to get buy, and most likely significantly more than that.
My family seems to die young and get dementia.
My kids seem to be well launched, which was part of the decision.
My husband is choosing to work another year or so because he started work much later and “needs” the time for a higher pension.
I’ve told him we will be fine either way.
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I’m sorry about your mom. Pancreatic cancer seems to take people quickly. I’m very glad she got to enjoy more of her life before she passed away. I hope you will be able to travel soon, I think it’s just around the corner.
I recently had a work trip with a guy who told me about his parents. Worth over 10 million, living on 40K a year, never spending. Saving for their kids (who are doing just fine) and afraid to spend. I’m all for saving some for the kids/grandkids, but I don’t think people should structure their lives around taking care of a generation that should be taking care of themselves (unless they are incapable). You need to live your own life at some point, and take joy when and where you can. You don’t know what will happen tomorrow.
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This. My younger brother, who retired early, told me: “Sis, I don’t know how many years I have left, but one thing I know for certain–these years are better than those years.” I agree with him that sooner is better than later for taking advantage of quality years. But, I also believe that if you enjoy your job, there’s no reason to stop working. Retirement is an option not a requirement.
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Yep, I think that working for 38 years entitles you to retire when you choose, since you’re doing fine financially. Especially with a family history that worries you. My family seems to live fairly long, but we have serious dementia issues.
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If that guy has over 10m he better start spending or gifting to his kids, otherwise he is going to hit that estate tax and then screw his kids on the amount of tax they’ll have to pay on everything over $11.2m not to mention if they are already in a state with lower estate tax limits.
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He said the parents have it in a trust and apparently have considered tax consequences. Especially since the state has a hefty tax on estates.
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@10smomlc, I’m sorry about the loss of your mom.
Part of the reason I can retire is my mom died a couple of years ago, at 70. If she were alive I would feel like I should keep working, to help her financially. She didn’t ask for help, but I am pretty sure she would have needed it.
We too planned to travel a lot, even last year while we were still working. We know how that turned out 
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I think los of parents who live extremely frugally and are saving it for their kids are actually just unable to change habits. My father is like that. Has quite a bit saved, not for us really but for a rainy day.
People’s saving and spending habits often reflect their life story. If you ever lived through a depression, war or long term hardships, you might end up saving more than others.
Many people wait until they are retired to travel. Others travel with little money when they are young. It creates a mi dswt of the path life should/could take…
As I age, I do laugh about some of my spending habits. I love a bargain and rarely buy anything that isn’t on sale. But I’m also comfortable with high risk ( which I think stems from having no money as a kid and until I graduated college). I found that some of my friends won’t take any risks , financially or otherwise. While I feel like taking risks or at least embracing change is part of moving toward retirement.
My spouse had a more gradual path with parents paying for college and is more risk averse. Maybe that’s just us.
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I retired at 59 to babysit my grandson, and don’t regret “leaving money” on the table at all. At my age, I have a maximum of 20 years of “go-go” life, and I want to spend it unstressed and relaxed. I know too many people who have died or received serious medical news that will impact their future. I know how to live on modest amounts of money, and I would not be happier driving a more expensive car, living in a more expensive house, or eating fancier food - not to mention, I don’t want anyone else mowing my yard or cleaning my toilets. SOS - with only 9 months to retirement for your DH, I can see why he’s just ready to say enough. Only you know how much you need that extra money, but perhaps look at the benefits that come from having one partner not work. My DH is loving that I have taken on all the cooking (eh - pretty minimal, but still…), cleaning and laundry - and he gets to come home for a hot lunch every day. Perhaps your DH could help out in other ways besides working those last 9 months.
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Good post, anxiousmom, I totally agree. And people don’t always make as much as they think, after all the deductions for taxes, etc. Financially it could be helpful if you have a year of lower income in order to do Roth conversions at a very low tax rate, also.
I think often people decide it’s time to retire after they’ve had a couple of months off, for vacation or sabbatical. They decide they’re just done, and happier not working. It would be tough to go back and start a new job just for a short time, and then retire. My mom was very resentful when my dad retired before her, but he had worked for 50 years of his life, and during times when she stayed home with the kids. He is 11 years older than her, and retired when he was 69-70. She was angry that she felt she needed to keep going to work, when he got to stay home and go hiking or do trail maintenance every day (which he loved). But she really could have retired when she wanted, and ended up retiring at 62. I thought that he’d really worked long enough, and he shouldn’t keep working just because she felt he should be suffering too.
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I am all for minimizing taxes, but this is a perspective I don’t quite grasp.
Why does paying estate taxes screw anyone? People paying it are receiving a huge chunk of change they didn’t earn themselves, and the asset by definition covers it. What a nice problem to have.
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It’s a nice problem to have, but when the Federal Estate Tax can be 40%, yet someone can gift $15k per person, $30k if it’s a couple to each person and that amount doesn’t go towards their lifetime exclusion, then why wouldn’t they start gifting that amount now, if it’s going to their kids anyway. In this case, if the parent has the proper type of trusts set up then it might be protected, but most people aren’t that savy and get caught paying estate taxes because they haven’t done proper estate planning.
Money is nice, but if you think you’re inheriting a ton of it, then find out you owe 40% to the federal government and then possibly another 16% in state taxes (on states that have lower exemption amounts - like MD which only excludes $1m but has a tax up to 16% of everything over that) then it makes sense to have good estate and tax planning. Doesn’t it?
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@CateCAParent Well another way to look at it is the money has already been taxed ( when earned). Many people use trusts to avoid estate taxes. It can be done on estates that are pretty large. It’s actually the lower income folks who often don’t Plan for estate taxes.
My uncle for example refused to do a will. Upon his death the family home had to be sold. His son and family paid a large bill. With just a bit if legal advice and paperwork the house would gave stayed in the family. The house was purchased and paid for decades ago.
You can be sure that incented us to set up our wills/estate plan when our kids were babies. There is no way I wanted my kids to have less due to bad planning on our part.
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DH does have handy man skills but I am not pushing to do any of those things until we both are retired and then we both are working on the house etc.
During Covid I was the FT nanny/babysitter, coming home on weekends and working the required time on my job to keep my job. So the time with the grandchildren and their parents was win/win. Now I visit often enough for the younger grandchild to know/remember me (they are 1 and 2 now).
DH has longevity in his family tree and he is in excellent health. His grandparents lived into late 80’s and 90’s - with 5 great aunts living to 103 - 108. His great-grandmother lived into late 80’s - family survived small pox epidemic in very harsh situation (mud hut in N Dakota during winter…) There were 3 Native American Indian women in the family tree.
My health is fair/good but w/o family tree longevity. However I ‘plan’ to outlive DH, ha ha.
If we did not have grandchildren at this point, building up more savings would not be as important. But I want to have living arrangements near them and I want to travel. DH traveled for work - many places internationally, and he desires to be a ‘home body’. I have a lot of relatives in Switzerland and will go with other people - my last trip there was 2016 and I was there a month and my sister was there 2 weeks during my time. I also want to have a small travel trailer with slide outs for US travel.
If DH stays ‘retired’ it is what it is. He has to make the decisions that he feels are right for him and for us. I will continue to manage our financial resources well.
Hey, Covid could have taken me out and it didn’t. Could have taken him out and it didn’t.
We have been exciting seeing retirement on the horizon. DH just got too beat up at work and the plan for him to work 30 hours/week was in place but no one to off load the work so he could work 30 hours/week.
He has fear of becoming disabled in some way and having his world shrink.
I survived aggressive cancer, aggressive treatment - so my world shrank real fast, real quick; and survived in part due to prayer and Divine intervention (no cancer at primary tumor just after I received a post card from my aunt who went to Lourdes on pilgrimage to pray for me) - for those familiar with Lourdes in France, my name starts with ‘B’, named after that saint that saw Our Blessed Mother. I am cancer free over 10 years now.
Some people have government/military health care to be able to retire before Medicare. Many/most don’t - some will choose to fund the health care insurance to retire before 65.
I have some financial stuff set up for children/grandchildren but need to research more and set more up. Also some of the legal stuff in our state - we have wills but need to do more there.
Happy New Year to all, and may it be a fabulous year for you!
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Oh , I understand. I do estate plans. Admittedly I have very few that are over the $11M threshold and in Cal, unlike MD, there isn’t a lower estate threshold. For the vast vast majority of people, estate taxes are a non-issue, yet people think they will be.
A good estate plan with proper tax planning is a beautiful thing. My point is more philosophical- can someone who inherits over $11M be described as screwed?
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To answer your question, 
anyone who inherits more than 11M would be very impudent to feel screwed inheriting that amount. I thought you were talking about a couple of hundred thousand. In MA, I think there is a state threshold.
Still, if I had a huge amount I’d make sure I donated it rather than giving it to MA or the Federal government. I’d rather see it in the hands of a charity or my kids.
My oldest didn’t want to buy a lotto ticket today. It’s too much money. It would wreck things. LOL. Possibly true. It’s over 300 million.
I live in AL and over 70% of the population wants a lottery. We live close to TN border so some do drive up to purchase lottery tickets.
Most people do not know how to handle a large win-fall.
Of course there is not necessarily only one heir (said as someone with four siblings). Plus, the federal exclusion is scheduled to drop to $5 million in 2025.