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<blockquote> <p>Ellemenope---I learned the details of my mother's finances after she died at age 84. <<</p> </blockquote>
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<p>dmd77--this was a heartbreaking story. I'm sorry for your loss under those circumstances.</p>
<p>Elemenope--I appreciate your sympathy. Thank you. My mother was an angry woman who enjoyed her anger and saw any "personal" questions as an affront. She doled out information with an eyedropper. She refused help from everyone; as an example, when she was given valium to help relax her muscles so she could breathe more easily (she had emphysema), she stopped taking it after a week becase "I hate feeling so nice." The nicest thing any of her neighbors said after she died was "she certainly made it interesting around here." (She would have loved that, BTW.) One reason I advocate openness is that I saw the damage secret-keeping can cause.</p>