OP- your D’s college counselors will not let her fall through the cracks.
This is what YOU need to do-
1- have a sit down with your past few year’s tax returns, credit card statements, bank statements, etc. and get a true financial picture of what you can spend for four years. Not “if she gets into Yale we can come up with 20K but if she ends up at Stonehill we’ll only pay 10K per year”. You need a true, granular analysis of where the money is coming from- X% from your savings, Y% out of current income, how much you really can pay.
2- Spend some time on a wide variety of college websites- Bryn Mawr? Wesleyan? U Michigan? Rice? Pomona? Reed? University of Virginia? Get a good feel for the reality that in America the talent pool runs wide and deep. There are smart kids in Illinois and California and Texas and Oklahoma and they don’t all aspire to Harvard or Yale. You will feel MUCH better once you see that there are astonishing opportunities for smart and hard working students all over the country.
3- Continue to support your D as she figures out who she is and what she wants.
The college counselor at her school will do the mechanics; your D will do the work; you just need to reassure yourself that there are dozens of colleges which will meet her intellectual and social needs.