<p>Twins has struck upon a beautiful example to help define entitlement.
He indicates a student deserves the contribution of $20k for college.
He says anything less is unfair.
Therefore: Student is entitled to 20K contribution.
Twins is overlooking that on the premise that student must get at least 20k, somewhere it must first be written, or accepted standard procedure that 20k is the figure all prospective college students are supposed to get; thereby, anyone that gets less is being treated unfairly.
Since I don’t know of this law, I ask Twins to point it out for me.</p>
<p>Since twins has told us less than 20k is unfair, would Twins agree that if a parent offered 40k, 50k, 60k for school, that that figure would be more than fair? And if it is, does that mean the student is being unfair to the parent if he accepts it?
Fair implies a certain accepted standard is not being met. Very different from hopes or dreams- a standard. Unfair to reject Eskimoes for housing based on their ancestry- it’s the law. No law says how much a parent must donate to offspring’s college fund. In fact, the law says the contrary- that after 18 a parent is no longer required to provide any financial support for the new adult.</p>
<p>I think I started the $20k figure with what it costs to attend many instate flagships as an in state student. And to defend Twins a bit, from the other posts, it sounds as though $20k is a reasonable expectation for the family contribution. I am certain that both of my kids think we will come up with at least $20K and we will barring any big changes.</p>
<p>I did not expect anything from my parents for my college education. Not even the equivalent of an in-state public. Quite frankly, it’s assinine to expect anything from them. They have fed you and clothed you and given you a place to live all of your life. They paid for your sports and your braces, they may have even given you a car or helped financially for you to get one. They have already spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on you. Think about them. They have worked their jobs, and the money is not all for you. So what if they want a Mercedes and a beach house? It’s their right to buy it. Education is a privilege, not a right. My parents have three children in college and are not contributing at all. Honestly, they do not make much and cannot contribute much more than 5k a year financially. </p>
<p>We are adults and should be expected to pay for our decisions. I decided I wanted to go to a private university, went the military route, and now have a full ride. I am extremely happy with my choice and proud to serve my country. My parents deserve to retire and enjoy their lives and I hope I can raise my children with the belief that they should work for their own things.</p>
<p>If my parents had to save 80K per child, they would have saved 240K for all of us. That is completely unfair and honestly we would not have had a home to live in or food on the table if they had done this.</p>
<p>If your child has the ability to succeed at an amazing school, they have the ability to succeed at a lesser school as well. Take it from someone whose husband turned down MIT for a flagship state school that was affordable. Having no school debt when he got his PhD and went on to his first job made a big difference in our ability to survive.</p>
<p>I did what I did for my kids because I wanted to.</p>
<p>I <em>do</em> think parents have some obligation to children to help them get college educations, but I don’t think this needs to be expressed through money. Some posters I respect researched merit scholarships and full rides; some moved to states with a really good higher ed system.</p>
<p>If a parent is so harried living the work of life that s/he can’t even provide advise then the parent can provide love/moral support and probably a roof if the child attends community college on minimal loans. And I respect that parent too.</p>
<p>I don’t judge any other families and their choices. Different people have different resources and different relationships to their resources.</p>
<p>We didn’t send DD to private because public schools were not good in the area. If you are of that opinion then you should go to your stage flagship as it will be same like going to a public high school.</p>
<p>Since our attitude towards education is different from yours and that is why DD is not going to UCB the best public education you can get in USA.</p>
<p>Since your parent attitude towards education is same like yours then if they think that you can get a good education at a public state university then they rightfully won’t pay for your private education. And since you were happy with your public high school I don’t think you can complain about a similarly capable public university.</p>