<p>40+ years ago, during HS, I dated a girl who skipped 2 grades and had a late bday. 4.0 gpa. She entered a top tier college at 15 (almost 16). I think she has done well since. </p>
<p>DS entered college at 17. He skipped 1 grade, teachers said he could skip 2 grades but we said no. 4.0 gpa. Top tier college. Enters workforce in an academic setting, at 24, after grad school and a year of internships. His maturity level incrementally improves. </p>
<p>We have acquaintances who push their kid academically to skip a grade. Their kid emotionally did not handle the college scene well and they either transferred or dropped out for one year, or slowed the college course work.</p>
<p>It’s really interesting to read everyones experiences on this.</p>
<p>I totally agree that it can’t be a blanket decision. However, in general, I think that there are plenty of kids who would benefit from waiting. Last year I worked at a day care and I was stunned at how many kids who were still 4 years old were starting kindergarten. And, just in my (admittedly limited) experience…of the five or so kids who started K at the age of four at least three of them ended up repeating kindergarten because they just hadn’t been socially ready, despite how smart they were. Issues ranged from total rage incidents and having to be dragged onto the school bus on a daily basis, to another kid who started having bathroom accidents, to the one little girl who just went around trying to kiss all the boys.</p>
<p>I guess my basic feeling is that if there is ANY question in the parents mind about whether waiting is a good idea then waiting is what should happen!</p>
<p>My S will be a young 18. I’ve asked his HS counselor if they can keep him one more yr and she said no. There are times when I felt he should’ve entered kinder. later but then, he’s bored w/hs already…</p>
<p>DD1 also entered kindergarten at age 4, because she was already reading and had older kids as playmates(early October birthday). Her school required evaluation and testing by their school psychologist before permitting early entry and only permitted 5 early starts that year. She did very well academically and socially. She didn’t get her license until December of her junior year, but that wasn’t really an issue since all of her friends were driving and someone was always willing to pick her up. The only negative I can think of was the older guys who didn’t start kindergarten until age 6; as a 16-year-old junior she ended up with a 19-year-old senior for her prom date.<br>
After graduating at 17, she did a Rotary exchange year in South America, prior to starting at her LAC at 18. I know that the extra year in South America beat an extra year of preschool for her!</p>
<p>lilmom, one of the boys my sons just graduated with defered his high school diploma. He went through the graduation ceremony and everything, but didn’t actually get his diploma. He will be attending the local vocational school for at least a year, maybe two, and then potentially going off to college. And he was one of the kids who was among the oldest ones in his class.</p>
<p>Maybe it’s different for girls as far as the competition goes, but for me it was no easy feat making varsity football and basketball at the same time as the rest of my teammates being a year behind in physical growth.</p>
<p>All I know is, you don’t see kids going D1 and then going into the NFL/NBA being a year young. If anything, they’re a year older than normal.</p>
<p>S2 was 17 when he started college, having skipped senior year. He was a bit immature but there was no holding him back. he was already spending half his time in college classes anyway. And he was used to being not just a year or two younger than his classmates but sometimes 5 or 6 years younger. </p>
<p>We were inspired by the experience of one of his schoolmates whose parents were adamant that she should not go to college before 18. The girl was absolutely brilliant. The family had to move before her senior year, and the girl, who’d taken 3 APs per year since 9th grade, decided to graduate early. She got admitted early to a top university but her parents made her take a gap year, thinking she’d work on some ECs. Well, she did, but she also audited 4 courses per term at the local (top) LAC. She might as well have gone to college for real.
We saw our kid headed the same way and decided to send him off to college early. I do not believe that his slight immaturity prevented him from doing well in college (he’ll be going to grad school). I do believe, however, that if we’d held him back, it would have been disastrous.</p>
<p>Interesting thread, to see all of the variations. S started nursery school at the church next door three weeks after turning 2; he was still learning to talk but needed to be around other children and I realized that I needed some time to myself. My goal for pre-school was mainly socialization but after 3 years, the teacher suggested that he move on to something more challenging so we sent him to a university lab school kindergarten. Academically he did fine, but as my sisters kept telling me, he wasn’t “street-smart” so we had him repeat k when he started at the city public school. He was so intimidated by the big kids that I ended up driving him to school every day (he had ridden the school bus the year before with no problems) and we often stayed on the playground after school to try to build relationships. The school was wonderful about working with his academics; he did advanced reading and math with another socially delayed friend was reading at the 4th+ grade level. Fast forward 12 years and S is ready to start his senior year at the age of 18. After a recent school exchange in Germany, he wants to do a gap year and return to Germany. If he does that, he will be 20 when he starts college. H doesn’t think it is a good idea and wants him to start college before returning to Germany. I said that I would listen to his plan after he thoroughly researched it. To be honest, I am more worried about MY age than his; I don’t want my baby leaving for a whole year!</p>
<p>Like soozievt I also have a gifted child. These children never fit as they are the square peg in a round holed system so you make the best of it. My early entry son was just as mature as some of the older kids, all kids have their strengths and weaknesses. He was lucky enough to be in multiple grade classes and technically skipped 4th grade- he graduated at 16 and started college before his fall 17th birthday (he also should have been born two months later than he was- my little preemie did well). We are an academic family and didn’t worry about sports, to our surprise son ended up being a varsity runner at a school with more than 50 boys in CC- I was relieved when he met his running goals, no guilt for him not having the extra year of physical maturity. His best friend one year of middle school was a grade ahead of him with a July birthday and 5 when he went to kindergarten- I asked his mother once why an older gifted child would want to play with my younger, equally (more?) smart son- she said it was more fun for her son to play UNO with someone at his intellectual level than with a typical kid in his grade.</p>
<p>My impression is that elementary school teachers prefer older kids for the grade- of course that kid has more maturity and makes it easier, a third grade maturity level in second grade would be delightful. When I asked his kindergarten teacher in the spring how the crying/clinging to mom the first day of school kids did she couldn’t even remember which ones they were (my son walked ahead of me- all by himself that day, always independent). I also saw differences in how the smartest kids did their work- one boy zoomed through it, my son dawdled when he was bored with a task. I also have talked with a mother who held her summer birthday son back as did several of her friends, she regretted it by 5th grade. These boys were 18 all of their senior year- technically adults but treated like minors. There are pros and cons either way. I thought about our decisions several times over the years and conclude that our son needed to progress as he did when he did- he would not have fit in any better by being the oldest instead of the youngest (he fit in well, btw, aside from some initial kids’ reactions to age/grade over the years- we didn’t tell anyone in his 3rd/4th grade class he was going from 3rd to 5th grade and some of the to be 5th graders found out- a few excitedly asked me at an end of school year class/volunteers event if I knew he was going to be a 5th grader). Like entering college, some kids parents think will never be ready for kindergarten in the fall based on their winter behavior, most kids do well.</p>
<p>I worried about college given my 16 year old son’s at home habits senior year, but he has excelled. No problems making it to classes on time without the parental alarm clock after ignoring his. Motivated, organized and fit in. Any differences can be attributed to his basic personality, not his age. Being able to hit the bars is not his thing and I notice the intellectual gap still exists with the HS friends he sees in college. Son is still independent- should take more advantage of mentoring/advisors available (can still tell him but he doesn’t listen any better than he ever did).</p>
<p>Nice thing about college- nobody cares about your age. Son wasn’t even the youngest in his honors physics- a HS girl was. By the time kids enter college they are mature enough to figure if a student is there they should be.</p>
<p>I’ve been a longtime lurker on CC, but have finally decided to post.</p>
<p>I was 16 when I started college. I am starting my second year this fall and go to a very good public technical university (in-state). Even though I lived 40 minutes away, I lived on campus. No one ever questioned my age. I didn’t bring it up unnecessarily, but didn’t hide it either. I did just fine, even better than some of my friends I graduated with that were 19 during the year. I loved it and don’t regret it for one minute, and can’t wait for fall semester to start!
Starting this early happened because my family used to live in the Netherlands, where elementary school starts a year earlier, so when we moved to the US, the school let me get around the cut-off date (even though I had to take ESL for a few months). Then, I graduated early from high school. This was completely my decision. I came home one day in September of my junior year and told my mom that I couldn’t stand high school any longer. I went to a magnet school for math and sciences and our administration was supportive of this, even though it was the first time anyone was planning to do it. I would have spent about 50% of my time taking dual enrollment distance learning class with that university anyway.
Even graduating early, I came in with about 3/4 year worth of AP credits. I also knew that if I stayed for another year in high school, because of finances I would probably end up at the same school, so why not?
However, this worked for me because I had experience with the college environment before entering college. I went to an honors program at a University over the summer. Even though the high schoolers had extra rule and curfews, the experience there helped me realize I wanted to get to college.
While right now I’m wavering between different majors, if I stayed another year in high school, I wouldn’t have had any better idea of what to do. Doing undergraduate research, doing coops and internships, and having much more freedom to explore my choices and grow in college is what is really helping me narrow down what I really want to do with my life.
Honestly, in maturity, I think it’s not about age, but just a person’s personality. I was always the “full speed ahead” kind of person, so this worked for me. I don’t drink or party (I do go to frat parties just to socialize, earlier in the night before they get out of control). I think a person would know if they aren’t ready. It’s acceptable to take a gap year, so if someone was feeling they weren’t ready for college, they could and probably would take a year to mature and grow before starting.
I have no experience about how this affects athletics, though.</p>
<p>S is 15 and will be starting college next month; he is dropping out of high school to do so. He turns 16 in October. He started kindergarten at 4; he was a fluent reader and could already do arithmetic. His dad and I are tall; he has always been if not the tallest, then one of the tallest kids in his class, even in high school, though he has always been one of the youngest in his class. Were the kid to finish high school with his class, he’d be 17 when starting college.</p>
<p>He’s going to Simon’s Rock, which is a college for kids who leave high school early to attend college; the average age of the incoming freshman class is 16. Seems a good fit for him.</p>
<p>I will be 16 when I begin college in the fall, and I will turn 17 about a month after classes begin. I started kindergarten when I was 4, and also graduated a year early.</p>
<p>My DD will be 17 when she starts college & will turn 18 a month later (she has a September birthday.)</p>
<p>When we lived in NJ, the kindergarten cutoff was December 31st, so she started school when she was “supposed” to, two weeks before her 5th birthday. There were a number of kids who had November and December birthdays, so she certainly wasn’t the youngest and it wasn’t an issue. People in that area as a rule don’t “hold back” their kids from Kindergarten unless a preschool teacher has suggested it or if there are extenuating circumstances.</p>
<p>Fast forward a few years and we moved to TN. The cutoff age for Kindergarten here is September 30, but we know few people who have kids born close to the cutoff who actually send them then. DD is probably the youngest senior (at least she’s the youngest one we know of) and there are kids who are a few days older than her who are juniors. She was the last one to start driving, etc. And on the 1st day of her senior year, she’ll walk in at 16 and there will be a few turning 19 within a few months.</p>
<p>I think that even if we had lived here when she was starting school, I would have sent her when I did. She still would have made the cutoff and she was ready. I don’t think that academically it has hurt her at all. And DH is an October birthday; he started college at 17 (and played all kinds of sports successfully in HS) and I don’t think there’s been any long lasting repercussions ;)</p>
<p>Glyptothek-agree about the personality and age. Our own student turned 18 the day we moved into the dorm for the start of college. B’day was late August and kindergarten was at a public school where many kids are “academically redshirted”, mainly for sports later on. We did not hold ours back based on advice of Pediatrician and the fact that student was a very early reader. We have no regrets! We do know several students that were held back and it does not seem to have made one bit of difference with regard to academics/personality. Three of our student’s best friends have “summer” b’days. They were all either National Merit Finalists or Scholars. Our own student has never been an athlete and never will be. I do not beleive that holding our student back would have changed the personality–student is what you see. What we did witness w/ some of the kids that we saw held back was boredom in school (caused trouble) and during the teen years, they matured physically so much faster and in a couple of cases, looked very out of place(they looked like they had been held back), thus I think these kids were very self-conscious. Our pediatrician said it best when trying to help us decide–it all levels off around high school age. Yes, holding a student back has its benefits for some kids–but I think it is a case by case decision. Many people autmatically assume that if you have a kid that has a “summer” b’day, they should be held back no matter what!</p>
<p>My S turned 19 in November (he started college in Aug). It worked fine for him. D graduated form HS at 17 & turned 18 in Nov in community college. When she had started the U where she transferred to after 3 semesters of CC, she was 19. It worked well for both of them as they did a lot of growing in the months before they flew off to the U. I’m very glad they had that chance to stay closer to hom for a bit longer. Both my kids were Nov-born and the pediatrician said academically, S could have started kindergarten when he was 3 but socially, he’s never found any parents regret holding their kids back to give them more time to grow & be able to have a richer social life. It was a good choice for us, as both kids are smaller stature (can be an issue to consider if the kids are large starture compared with peers, as that is a difficult peer issue).</p>
<p>There was some concern that the kids were very intellectually gifted (S taught himself to read before he started preschool at 3), but they were both able to supplement what they were covering in school & keep themselves intellectually stimulated. Much depends on the balance the family is able to strike in meeting the children’s needs.</p>
<p>^^^I’ll add that a big factor for us was also the availability of special programs where there was a critical mass of kids with similar abilities and talents. While S1 was 16 the first half of senior year, he was not the youngest in his class. It helped A LOT that he was able to take things like mathematical physics and complex analysis at a public HS with kids his own age.</p>
<p>It was a big commitment on our part as a family to deal with the long bus rides and heavy courseloads, but both of my kids have said they wouldn’t have done it any other way.</p>
<p>We know many families with kids who didn’t have those options and were left with FT or PT early college as the only realistic option. I am happy we didn’t have to deal with our flagship for a 14 yo.</p>
<p>Both of my kids were October babies with an October 1 cut-off. My D, who is a rising senior, told me recently she loves being one of the older ones in the class. She got her license early, she was more mature for sports, and thinks it just helped overall. I never even considered pushing for them to start early even though they had done years of pre-school. My S was the very bright, socially immature type, and it helped him to be the older one too.</p>
<p>I have a late November birthday and started first grade at five, and college at 17; like HImom’s son, I learned to read at a few months shy of three. There’s no doubt that I was ready academically, but I’m sure waiting a year would have helped me socially, though much more in elementary and middle school than in college.</p>
<p>Edited to add that I looked even younger than I was, which surely didn’t help my case. I hated middle school (and most of high school, really) partly for that reason.</p>
<p>My kids also look very young–D has used it to pass as many years younger than she is when she wants to. D has always been socially mature, but we feel it was good that both started school a little later than they COULD have (no cut off for HI public schools, as long as the child turns 5 by 12/31 of the year they start kindergarten).</p>
<p>Have heard more folks who regret now withholding than folks who regret starting them later. The other good thing for our kids is that after preschool, they went to public school & in HS, they went to private school where many of the kids they attended preschool were & they were all in the same grade again (if they had started HS earlier, they would have been in a grade above the kids they went to preschool with).</p>
There are times when I felt he should’ve entered kinder. later but then, he’s bored w/hs already…</p>