<p>Please don’t tell your child anything before high school and serious financial calculations. Costs of college and EFC can change drastically. I remember my father telling me in middle school that if I could get into an Ivy he would pay for it. At the beginning of senior year we were arguing constantly because of the catch-22 where my parents would let me apply to Brown (so that I couldn’t say they never gave me the oppuritunity), but if I attended I would be nearly 100k in debt. It caused a lot of unnecessary tension and is no one’s fault. It’s just that no one knew about cost or where they would be. One of my good friends got into RISD, Skidmore, and a lot of other great art schools but so far can’t afford any except a state school because she didn’t realize how different her EFC and the amount her parents could actually pay were. If she had, she could have applied for more scholarships earlier.</p>
<p>Once I finally figured out the money situation (after all of the silly high school ideas about Wesleyan, Brown, UChicago, and other schools which don’t give nearly enough merit aid to be viable options), I applied only to safeties and a few targets for scholarships. That worked out and luckily I can afford some schools I like without loans. However, I still don’t understand how my older sister got a scholarship worth much less than one of mine and gets out loan-free (in fact, to pay the difference my father almost took money he had saved for me to give to her as well…I’m very grateful that he eventually changed his mind), while I have a 2/3 tuition scholarship and am told I won’t have much of any money left over if I take it…regardless of my technically saving 40k more over the years. It gets to the point where I’m terrified not to have money left over because I’m convinced my EFC or some other unforeseen complication will make postgraduate education impossible to afford. I need to do more research on that part, though.</p>
<p>The idea of giving more money to a child with more “academic potential” is unfair to me, as is funding the older siblings more and worrying about younger ones later. However, a lot of others will disagree with that and I think in the end you need to figure out your own path as a family. </p>
<p>Just please don’t give your child any false expectations or even talk about college with them when they’re young. If you let them down, they’ll stop appreciating the amount you ARE funding. My best friend has a EFC < 10k and his parents aren’t funding any of his college, plus only one school he applied to met his calculated need. The rest just gave him loans. I can only imagine how much he’d appreciate what my parents have done for me, something I should appreciate far far more every day than I do. It doesn’t cross your mind when you’re thinking about all the other things you can’t have. So try to help them appreciate what you are giving them by not telling them about MIT and Stanford. Just let them grow and develop into a great person and worry about saving money for college period.</p>