How to handle child's academic dishonesty

Parents Forum
41

It seems that your primary issue is that he didn’t read the book. Using Spark Notes and the like are either okay to use without citing or they’re not. Reading the book doesn’t change that. If you would have let it go if he’d bothered to do the reading then make him do the reading and write a proper report for you.

If it were my kid I’d probably make him do it twice. Once to cite the actual sources he used for the first report (Spark Notes and whatever websites he used) so he can see how lame it looks and one report on the book after actually reading it. But I wouldn’t get him kicked out of his program or have a disciplinary mark added to his high school record. Why would you do that to your own kid?

42 
       I think you should get your kid off your kindle account and let him pretend to read the paper version like all his peers.  I think you have NO idea what throwing this grenade in to the arena of his school will do. I am not sure this is a real thread, because it is just too earnest.
43

Wouldn’t it have been simpler to just not allow him to turn it in? He could have faced the natural consequences of that and you could have forced him to redo it if he received some sort of second chance from the teacher.

44

It would be interesting to know the grade received, and whether or not the teacher uses SparkNotes.

Agree with an above post that this is an opportunity to show trust in your son. Consider getting separate Kindle accounts.

In law school, any student who actually read all of the assigned readings would be suffering from a bad back & poor posture due to the excessive weight of the glasses he or she would need to wear. And would probably finish near the bottom of the class for failure to see the forest among all the trees.

Might be better to just set a good example by your behavior, set clear expectations, but let your son live & learn from his own mistakes.

45

^LOL, my go-to, in addition to the commercial outlines, was to buy used casebooks from students who made top grades in the class the prior year. Besides saving big bucks, those students usually highlighted the important passages and scribbled good marginal notes!

46

Very tough, very personal decision. I am not sure I would be able to turn in my otherwise good student kid in/have him turn himself in if the possible consequence was getting thrown out of the program/school with limited alternatives. Especially since he admitted to you that he didn’t read the book. I might look at this as his one (and only) get out of jail free card for a stupid error in judgement that would not be tolerated again. And with some definite consequences at home as well as suffering further scrutiny on any future papers.

However, it is also not clear if he copied all the ideas from the SNs or if he read the summary of the plot and did the assignment on that basis with his own analysis. Are you sure he took the analysis portion of the paper from SN? Wouldn’t Turnitin or the teacher be able to determine that he had no original thoughts?

47

If it is a book like Plato’s Republic, are there any original thoughts left to have, especially from a teenaged high school student? :slight_smile:

48

I think my son told me once that he was the only one in class who actually did the assigned reading. I think many of you son’s classmates did the same thing he did. This doesn’t excuse him of course, but does make a harsh punishment seem unfair. I’d make him read the book, instead of some more enjoyable activity if possible, and rewrite the essay if he can turn in a new version. And make quite clear to him what could happen if he gets caught cheating in school or college.

49

Still curious as to the particular book (like Plato’s Republic) that he was assigned to read. Could it be “The Art of the Deal” ?

50

The point of education is to learn the material. If he’s copying papers from the internet, instead of doing the work he’s cheating and it’s not OK. He’s undermining his own integrity. It’s best to learn the lesson now, because if he gets in that habit, he’ll pay for it when he starts college. THAT can mess up his future because professors don’t tolerate it. You work out the appropriate consequence. Turning himself in may not be the best thing because school districts nowadays can’t be trusted.

51

I would ask him why he didn’t read the book. Too much homework? Too many ECs? Too much video games? Too much hanging out with friends? Don’t like the class? Boring book? is this the right program for him?

I would think something about taking away some privileges for a while so he has more time to do the homework. I may make him read the book and you ask him questions about it.

I would talk about what will happen in college if he is caught for academic dishonesty.

52

The most important thing is a trusting relationship between you and your son.

If you were to turn him in (or compel him to turn himself in), you would be putting your own sense of your self-identity as a self-righteous person above the well-being of your child. You may harm his future, and there will be no chance for him to learn from this experience before a terrible consequence happens, because a terrible consequence already will have happened.

Gently, showing your concern for him, ask him to share WHY this happened. Talk with him about what can happen to people who are academically dishonest, and show that you love him so much that you’d never want him to suffer these consequences. Communicate your expectations for the future and help HIM brainstorm ways he can resolve whatever problem caused this in the first place (whether it be trouble understanding the reading, poor time management, or whatever else he identifies). What can he do differently in the future?

If the paper has been turned in, he should just apply this lesson/plan to future papers. (If the paper has not yet been turned in, he should do the reading and rewrite the paper now.)

Something important happened that you may not be recognizing as important as it is. Your child trusted you with the truth. That is so important, both because that gives you the opportunity to help him grow, and because parent-child trust allows him to see you as someone he can turn to when he is struggling with a difficult decision of any sort in the future and needs help.

In the long run, your child is both more likely to make moral decisions and to grow into a healthy adult with healthy relationships if you treat him with love and respect. Your communication of love, and faith in him that he can make good decisions, will be the most important aspects of this discussion that will help him to grow.

53

I don’t think the child trusted her with the truth. She discovered that he hadn’t read the book on the Kindle. She also stated that she wouldn’t turn him in but ask that he tell the school.

54

If the proctor has the same viewpoint as the parent, he will be expelled and with a disciplinary record. Yes it’s lazy and worth a boat load of family based repercussions.

Maybe turn it into something positive. Like a new ec working after school as a free tutor or at the senior center working with lonely elderly people to get a sense of giving back.

Dishonesty is selfishness. Teach him selflessness and take away the greatest possession of a teen. Time to kick back etc after school.

If he plays a sport. He could practice to help his teammates prepare or for the robotics match-but I would inform the coach or mentor. No game time and no events for a bit. Practice or helping to prepare for the event only.

That sort of thing.

55

I’m not sure why posters who usually advocate the “right” path are now saying it’s not so bad, protect him. If this were a kid posting, would you say that?

Because he wasn’t caught?
I don’t have a sure position, but wonder.

56

There is a difference between letting it slide and pushing him over a cliff.

57

Wow!

So I don’t think anyone here was an angel in high school either. Can’t tell you how many papers I wrote with Cliff notes etc since it helped me get to the information that I needed to write a concise paper, which was not my strength.

Can’t tell you how many college students study together or read different sections then discuss them to each other also etc.

@TheGreyKing… I agree with this post.

Like no kids ever make mistakes. Your gonna make an example out of your own son. For what? Self satisfaction?

Parenting is tough but losing your kids trust and respect is worse. You made your point to him. He gets it. If there is a trust issue or honestly issue then maybe he is just a normal teenager…? Maybe he with you need family counseling?

One thing I told my kids early on is that I can take just about any bad news they can throw at me but just don’t lie to me. That is very important to me. Have they stretched the truth here and there? Sure and I get that.

He told you what he did and you didn’t like the answer. Think about that a bit.

So turn him in and make his life a living hell and cause undo stress to him and your household for what? What lesson will he learn?

So do you know what I would do? (I am sure not at this point ?)

This is what called a learning lesson. Ask when the next paper is due. If he hems and haws then tell him you will just email his teacher to find out. Trust me… He’ll tell you. Tell him you want to learn about that paper and have him read it to you or show it to you. Basically you are putting him on notice.

Schools have honor codes https://bulletin.engin.umich.edu/rules/

Have him look at a few.
A good friend of ours daughter was kicked out of her program at Michigan for plagiarism, so I get it. They refused her reapplication so I understand how serious it can be.

People talk about teaching moments. This is one. You evidently have had other issues with him on this front before. But embarrassing him to me is not worth it. This should be handled by the parent not the school. If he needs strategies or counseling that might be better. If he has had dishonestly issues before then getting to the root of that issue to me makes more sense. Trying to prove a point to me, doesn’t.

58

Never turn your child in, just discuss it with them. What kind of parent would turn there child in!?!!? I mean what is this 1984?

59

I’d make sure he knows it is a violation of the honor code and if he gets caught the penalty may be that he is tossed from the school. Make sure he knows that and that you might not able to save him.

Then move on.

60

I’m a big proponent of creative punishment. Have him volunteer at the local library with children or go to a senior center and volunteer there reading with or to patients? Don’t even ask what creative punishments I came up for my daughter!