<p>Our public school has a manual with all of the rules, that each kid and parents have to sign at the beginning of a school year. Does your school have anything like that?</p>
<p>I would ask for a meeting with the principal with my kid, to review this situation, and so that I could make sure that we understood the rules correctly. I'd ask the principal to put the "deal" into a written memo that my kid would sign.</p>
<p>I'd also call the teacher to thank the teacher for bringing this to light, and would ask for a meeting to review my kids' overall performance. If my kid is doing ok, then this meeting would remind the teacher that this kid is usually on the right track. If my kid has been doing anything else, this would be an opportunity for me to get on top of it immediately.</p>
<p>I would avoid any appearance at all of blaming the other kid (it was his idea, my kid was weak...), the teacher (she's picking on my kid), or the school (what's the big deal anyway, it was only 10 points). The posting says that all admit that this was wrong, which is great. I would let the school know that I back them completely, and that Junior is going to be punished severely at home as well as at school. The school may be more interested in working with the family in the future if the staff knows the family takes this seriously and that the parents are trying their best.</p>
<p>While your question related to how to deal with the school and not how to deal with the student, I'd make really, really sure that Junior understood that these are some of the consequences of breaking the rules. While I love and support my kids, they all know that I believe they must learn from the consequences of their own bad decisions. If they're smart enough to make decisions, then they should be smart enough to think out the results of those decisions. Several years ago I was faced with having to take a kid to be interviewed by the police about some minor vandalism. The police told me that the other parents didn't even return the police department's call. Fortunately, the police just lectured my kid since he cooperated with the investigation. My kid was shocked that I wouldn't lie or avoid the police for him, like the other parents. I pointed out that his bad decision hurt and embarrassed not only himself, but his family since I was right there with him in the police station and would be right there with him through anything else that happened. I can tell you that my kid has never gotten into trouble in the years since this experience, and the other kids (who ultimately got away with the vandalism) have since gotten into more trouble...and their parents are still making excuses for them. </p>
<p>While this is a fairly common academic infraction and the school is clearly trying to scare the kid to stop it from happening again, the family can view this as an opportunity to reinforce important values. </p>
<p>And I'd definitely not record anyone without their knowledge. Not only is it illegal in many states, but such a recording would not establish a legal contract and the family would be viewed negatively by any Judge-finder of fact if there was a subsequent legal dispute over actions involving the student.</p>