how to help your child with college decision

<p>Hi. Is there any word of advice I can give my dd to help her decide..her dad wants clemson.her boyfriend lehigh. And of course everyone else with an opinion. How can she really figure out what to do for herslef and what she wants.</p>

<p>It’s been said here before, but there’s always the spreadsheet - create rows with various categories; columns are the schools, then comment on the pros and cons for each category. Examples: cost, distance, size, academic rigor, location, etc.</p>

<p>Hi Valeriew.
I’m a daughter and I also struggled on deciding where to study for my college before.</p>

<p>I think it would be best if your dd already decided what course to take. If she has, she can start looking for schools/universities specializing in that course. Other things to consider are, the expenses (tuition fees, food), travel (whether she will travel to school or stay in dorm), etc. You can list down important factors that may affect her decision so she can narrow down her options later.</p>

<p>Hope these help. :)</p>

<p>Does anyone know the link to the website site lets you rate colleges on a bunch of factors and then sorts them in to order of preference based on your answers? I’ve seen it mentioned on CC several times in the last month.</p>

<p>This one? [CollegePick</a> - Define colleges](<a href=“http://www.collegepick.us/]CollegePick”>http://www.collegepick.us/)</p>

<p>Yes - that’s it! OP - if she wants, your daughter can enter the colleges she’s considering and rate each one on several criteria. Notice she can add anything factors she wants - not just the suggested ones.</p>

<p>There was a post on here not long ago where someone gave some interesting advice about flipping a coin, but not in the traditional sense. I don’t remember it verbatim, but basically said to flip a coin and while its still in the air you are instantly hoping for a specific outcome amd that’s what you truly want. I would definitely do the pros/cons list first though.</p>

<p>@gluckie - you’re referring to the Grook (poem) I posted. Here it is again:</p>

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<p>Two kids - different issues.</p>

<p>Older son
Overall (insert p-word here!) vs. one of the top programs in his field (comp sci) with it’s own school within the university. He’d determined the big name school had a critical mass of nerdy d and d playing sci-fi reading undergrads, but in the end 200 comp sci professors won out over 20. He didn’t make spread sheets just stewed about it for the full 30 days.</p>

<p>Younger son
Life of the Mind vs Active citizenship
He did all the logical things including looking up four years worth of courses to see what an IR major would look like at either school. In the end he went with his gut. He felt like Tufts seemed a little more relaxed and fun than Chicago and he was impressed with the presentation made by the Global Leadership institute. It took him the full 30 days to decide too.</p>

<p>How did I help? I told them they had 2 great choices and they couldn’t go wrong either way. I was as conflicted as they were.</p>

<p>When I was choosing a college for myself, I didn’t have much help and was pretty naive, and it turned out that there were things about my school (like the dominance of the Greek system) that affected my experience there, but had never crossed my mind to consider. </p>

<p>So when S was deciding, I mostly just wanted to be sure that he was aware of all of the factors he should think about.</p>

<p>^^^we had a virtually identical experience to mathmom’s sons (our kids seem to have been separated at birth).</p>

<p>A couple of differences:<br>
S1 (math/CS guy) made spreadsheets and did a matrix analysis of schools based on his various weighted criteria. They were NOT your typical decision points. Ultimately decided that he wanted the chance to pursue the Life of the Mind while he had the chance, and wanted to get outside his comfort zone socially and academically. Decided about this time in April and once he was done, he had no regrets.</p>

<p>S2 stewed and agonized til 8 pm the night of May 1st. He has always been a philosophical AND practical sort, so it was really, really tough. Felt more confident about his ability to do well at the school he chose, and after four years of IB, he was feeling pretty burned out. Had the other school offered him merit $$, he told me eight months later, he may have gone the other way. Not because of the $$, but because he said it would have given him more confidence in his ability to handle the intense requirements there.</p>

<p>We did not go with them to visit schools in April. Left them alone until they were ready to to discuss their thoughts. I was very proud at the maturity they exhibited and the consideration that went into their decisionmaking process. Because they really focused on schools that were good fits and suited their personalities in the application process, there were no bad choices in April. The right schools recognized the good fit. It was hard to argue with the logic in my Ss’ final decisions, even if DH or I might have chosen differently. </p>

<p>I was also very conflicted over their options.</p>

<p>I think the rational spreadsheet approach is fine for narrowing your choices from 20 colleges to 5 colleges, but once you get down to the final few, and all of them would be fine, I’d dump the logic and go with your heart. You don’t pick a spouse based on spreadsheets; why would you pick a college that way?</p>

<p>We did the same thing, using a spreadsheet to go from 16 down to “The Final Five.” Then we made April visits to each of the Final Five (thank goodness for Southwest vouchers). Visiting as an admitted student is very different from visiting before you are admitted. And now we are down to “The Top Two.” Both are great fits. Both are great schools. The indecision is killing me. But I’m stepping back and letting dd decide and I will be happy with whichever one she chooses.</p>

<p>Why does Dad want Clemson?</p>

<p>Why does BF want Lehigh ?</p>

<p>Sometimes the people in a person’s social circle have an agenda…dad may think Clemson is more affordable, or he may know it’s closer to home. BF may be thinking that Lehigh is where he goes to school or is close enough to where he goes to school. Another person may just want your D to go to their alma mater…and another won’t care if a choice isn’t affordable.</p>

<p>In YOUR opinion, which school is best for your D (academically, financially, and fit) and why do you think so?</p>

<p>Thanks for the comments. Bf wants lehigh because he will be 20 minutes away. Husband wants clemson because he feels the honors program will be good for her and she will shine plus have a lot of special opportunities .also he feels if she is too close to her bf she will spend too much time with him. If clemson wasn’t 12 hours away I would pick that school for her .lehigh is only an hour away.</p>

<p>Boyfriends can come and go at this age.</p>

<p>Lehigh is a fine choice, and as long as the boyfriend is not right at Lehigh, even if they break up she would be fine there.</p>

<p>As long as you can afford either choice, then she needs to make her own choice.</p>

<p>The College Pick website mentioned before is very helpful. Pros and cons list is very helpful as well. Location, Academics, Social Life should all be considered before even narrowing it down to a list of places to visit.</p>

<p>-Jess</p>

<p>Our daughter was the one attending college…not all the other “opinion holders”. We only answered questions she asked…and only stated the facts (unless she asked for an opinion). Then we gave her a deadline date and told her to make up HER mind between her top choices. She made up her mind, told us and we sent the deposits to the school. I never even asked her why she made her choice until we were on the plane heading to her school for move in weekend.</p>

<p>Hmmm… I’m guessing BF is going to Lafayette? And I’m guessing your D wants to be an engineer?</p>

<p>When my S had it down to 2 choices, he made a long list of about 21 things HE thought were important - distance from home, location (city), dorms, athletics, things about his major, etc. He ran this list down the center of a page, then listed one college on the left side and the other on the right. For each item he put an X under the college who he liked better for that trait. Then he totalled the Xs. One college won pretty decisively, 14 - 7 (sounds like a football game). He said he realized that was truly the right choice because as he was doing this exercise he found himself hoping that college would win.</p>

<p>He’s a senior there now and has loved it.</p>

<p>PS (“There” for S is Lafayette).</p>

<p>DD got a book with colleges in the mid-Atlantic. (She didn’t want to be too far from home). Then wrote all over that book. There were lists in the back for each school - about sororities, average SAT scores, if it was a “suitcase school”, how many students, etc. She made a list of the schools that met her criteria and then continued researching and narrowing the list down. Then we visited quite a few. And she narrowed it down to two schools, was accepted at each with scholarship $. She did an overnight at each school. Then she went with her gut feeling. It has worked out wonderfully.</p>