@dogsmama1997 you stated above that your student is applying as a non-boarder, but I wanted to share a couple of experiences that helped us to “really get a feel for schools” ( day and/or boarding).
OK…first, we looked beyond the View Book or the well packaged admissions video. We tried to speak with current students and recent graduates, as well as their parents. We also tried to speak with coaches and watch a practice during our interview day, in addition to Revisit Day. There are parents on CC who provided superb insights not only on topic “threads”, but also via PM. We also had the opportunity during interview days and Revisit to see the lunch room scene. There were shadow opportunities during Revisit days that also made an impression.
I have commented before on this, but since you are new to CC, it is worth sharing…for our family there were important cultural aspects of schools that were more important than statistics, college placement, or ranking…there was one school (I will not mention name) where the students did not move from their perch on the staircase while our tour group was passing. A couple of the students laughed or snickered at our tour group while they were sitting on the stairs of the classroom building with one student whispering something derogatory about the school to us, or about students applying. We understand that students can by cynical and sarcastic. However, rudeness is just wrong. We decided not to apply to that school for that and other reasons. On a positive note, there were schools where we saw genuine warmth and support demonstrated between students on the field, in the hallways, and in the dining hall. We also were very impressed by the kind welcomes and greetings we received at the other schools by students who were not our tour guides.
We wanted a school that also valued respect and inclusivity. Do look at the geographical diversity and statistics about the student population. DO determine what percentage are boarding students. If you are not a boarding student, are there ways to feel connected to the community? Some schools we visited had rooms for day students to use during weekend events or for sleeping over. We also wanted a real community feel - did not want a school where the campus cleared out on the weekends. One question we had was about faculty involvement with the school and student body. For example, one school brought in part-time teachers for dance and art. Coaches at some schools were not full time faculty - but just there to coach. Not judging, but just another variable in the mix because we wanted a coach who would be committed or really invested in the school.
We tried to observe how students interacted with each other and also with staff. We wanted to know about social groups on campus. So we tried to observe the dining hall scene and how students grouped up together in the halls. Some schools had teams sit together for lunch on game days. A few of the schools had formal sit down meals several times a week. Some schools offer regular meals with teachers. We also wanted to know about community service at each school and if students participate in service opportunities, either on campus or nearby. Yes, you are right, that some schools are more rigid than others…but perhaps rigid about some things. On the other hand, what may seem as “rigid” could also be perceived as traditions. For example, some folks on this forum do not want chapel every day or every week…others thrive on that…others don’t really care.
For you potential boarders out there: Dorm set ups can also help you get a feel for the school. Do students from all grade levels share a dorm? Is there a mandatory study hall each night for first and second year students? Do you have a lights out policy at the school? During which grade are you allowed to study in the library? Do you have a communal study hall or do you have to stay in your dorm room to study at night? Do First Years have their own dorm, or maybe their own floor in a dorm? Are there dorm parents in each dorm building? It was interesting that a couple of the schools had dorm parents who were not faculty members. Instead, these dorm parents were hired professionals who were basically on duty and lived there - but were not teaching faculty.
The other “real feel” came from talking with students…just wondering what your impressions have been when you have taken the tours? Do the students seem happy? We had the opportunity to visit some schools during the prior spring because of golf. But this was interesting because the first year students by that time had put in some time at the school and we got a different feel than we did later during the fall tours. Schools and their students have social media sites to follow. You can get a feel for social activity and events that way. Not sure if this is an accurate reflection, but it proved interesting for our student.
When we visited Hotchkiss for Revisit Day, the Head of School told us the following: You are not sending your child to a school, you are sending your child to people.
Hope this helps :-@