How will my financial aid change? What are my options?

Paying for College
21

Hugs.

You say the problem is that you cannot go to school for any longer than 5 minutes besides being that early for a class.
Your mom has issues and really doesn’t want you to be away at school - presumably because she wants you to be able to do so much at home. And she doesn’t see the value in education. If you tell her that you need to have an interview about a potential scholarship or grant or maybe a work/study job, would she be more willing to allow you to be away at school a bit longer?

May I ask, have you ever directly told your mom something along the lines of “Mom - I love you and am glad that I know you want the best for me, you want me to be happy and able to support us both as our needs will change as we age. I never would have gotten where I am in life without your help and I will always be grateful” Sometimes some parents need to hear this said aloud to them. If your situation is that much worse - I am so sorry to hear it.

I mostly wanted to say I am really proud of you to hear your attitude - despite all the crap you’ve had to put up with, you still manage to get great grades and you are working hard. Stress is real, and you are sacrificing sleep like a lot of kids your age, because you see a better future ahead. Best of luck to you!

22

Hi again!

I haven’t been able to meet with my counselor or my advisor teacher friend to talk about any options. I’ve had my classes taking up some of my time, and either way, I don’t get enough “free time” to be able to go see either of them. I can’t exactly tell my mom, “I’ll be at school later today because I have to talk to my counselor,” or even advisor or anything. Unfortunately, she is not stupid.

I did manage to go to this tutoring session my chemistry professor had, and towards the end of it, we were talking about college stuff and life… it was mostly geared at how society fits people into a box where it expects you go to college right after high school among other things. My professor said that college isn’t for everyone right away because there’s some people who have setbacks or family circumstances that make college either harder for them or simply impossible. I feel that partially speaks to me because I don’t get to do as well as I’d like to because of my family situation. Not only that, but I just feel very unhappy here as a whole and don’t even have time to do anything. It makes me consider that I should drop out to just work and save money until I guess I’m 24 and wouldn’t be considered dependent anymore, and then I can go to school and be on my own and focus on my own life… I really, really do hate that because I want to go to grad/professional school for sure at the end of the day, so college for me isn’t going to be done anytime soon. Having to start later rather than earlier really makes me sad. I wish I could get to enjoy my life and my 20s and be successful, but it’s like I’ll just have to slave it away and have no life, and then when I go back to school and dedicate myself, I’ll still have no life and “nothing to show for” at that age because I’d still have to work the whole time while going to school. It’s either that or continue as I am, but take loans to do…practically everything… it would just me if I left and wouldn’t have FAFSA to help me out, so how will that even work? I’ll have to take loans for EVERYTHING, so how am I supposed to take that much loans to be somewhere and go to school? I have to admit that I’m writing this in a moment of distress, so I apologize if I’m rambling. I just feel lost and like I have no good options (stay here and deal with what’s going on til it actually kills me; give up school for now and just be financially independent for I don’t know how many years until I’ll finally get to go to school; or break some sort of record for being someone with the most amount of loans ever to stay on the track I’m on).

Are those my only options? Am I right when I say that and list the aforementioned points? I really hate the hiding and having to live the way that I do and having to always feel this way. :confused:

P.S. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it before, but as much as I wish I could just stand up to my mom or say something to try to fix the situation, it will be a case of “it gets worse before it gets better,” but it’s going to seriously affect me with it getting worse. She might be petty enough to not give me any way of getting to school, and if I don’t have money to use Uber or something, it’ll destroy my GPA, which isn’t even that great, but it’s all I have to show for that demonstrates any worth I have. I feel like the risk isn’t worth it—not to mention the emotional/mental toll it’ll take on me because my mom tends to be the kind of person to hold a grudge and let even tiny things make her angry for ages.

I’d really, really like help and advice on what I can do (like now or next or soon). Thanks

23

When homelife is difficult for a college kid who commutes, then the best answer is to use the campus facilities as much as you can to minimize being at home.

You say that your mom won’t let you spend that much time at school? Well do you have to be 100% truthful about your class schedule? Can you say that you have labs or group projects to work on at school?

If your mom looks at your schedule, the next semester space your classes out a bit. If you start classes at, say 9am, but then have another class at 11am, and then have a late afternoon class/lab at 3pm, then you can be at school for most of the day and study between classes. You’re a smart kid, work the system.

Your stepdad doesn’t work, why can’t he help with the children?

Do you have a job during the summer and during the school year? That can also keep you away from home.

You didn’t say this but it’s probably stressful at your home because your family is lowish income, your stepdad doesn’t work, and that can all combine to create tension in the house.

24

It impossible for a forum board to anywhere close to adequately assess your sort of situation and advise you. If you are on the verge of doing harm to yourself or others, you need to get medical attention ASAP. Whether it’s through your school counseling facilities or the local ER, if you are try at a breaking point, please get help.

You see, a lot of young people have trouble with their parents. Many, many are held hostage by the fact that they need financial support of some sort from their parents and the price for that support is terribly harmful to their mental and physical health. Emotional abuse resulting in anguish is a terrible thing to have to undergo. The question comes down to how bad this is; does it qualify for abuse , or is it considered what is normal discontent and conflict with parents. That happens all of the time. The fact of the matter is that most young people would far prefer living on their own, among friends, than being with family. When there is conflict with family, the desire to leave intensifies.

You are no longer a minor after age 18 for most things. For college undergraduate financial aid, however, you have to be age 24 or have certain situations which have been amply explained to you. Otherwise you are still dependent on your parents for their financial information and the roof over your head

Please understand, depending upon your school, how much it costs, and how much Hope, Zell Miller you get, you may not be able to swing it even if you are no longer considered a dependent of your mother. Some questions:

  1. How much are tuition, fees, books and supplies per year to go to your school?
    2)How much would you need to live on your own?
  2. How much are you getting in financial aid from your school? How much is Hope? How much is Zell Miller? How much in grants is the school giving you right now in their own grant money?

4). How much in loans are you getting. It’s only $5k more a year over the Direct Loan loan amount Maximus you can get as an independent that is available for independent students.

Schools are not set up to cover living expenses of students. The PELL and loans can pay most of what it costs in Tuition, fees of public colleges, but it’s really unreasonable to expect college to pay for you to go out on your own.
You should check with your financial aid officer if it’s even possible if you could get enough money to go independent to contribute as a student.

If you truly need to get out of your home environment for your safety, both mental and physical, school is not the concern. If you are not safe, you need to get out. Find a job and try to scrape by on your own. Not till you are age 24 and can easily qualify as independent. A break like that would do it too. But you would need to get on your own two feet financially, and think about college later.

Most people go to college part time, piece meal as they can scrape up the money to pay for each course, as they work full time- plus even, to meet living expenses. College is not the be all to end all. You are not entitled to a college education by default. I’m sorry that you and many other young people do not have parents willing and able to support your college aspirations and pay for them. More important that is your health and safety and if that is endangered, you need to focus on how to best address that and take college out of the picture. The problem appears to be that you are living with abusuve parent(s) and need to get out into a safe place. That is the focus for now.

25

@mom2collegekids , I’ve responded to your paragraphs in the order the questions were posed:
My mom will flat out say don’t do the lab or project or whatever it is. If she feels that it’s too much work, she will actually say not to do it so it’d “teach the professor a lesson,” or she will say I need to drop the class. Not only do I don’t like lying naturally, but I partially never liked it because I’m not good at it. I’m not good at thinking of a thousand excuses. Also, yes, as a commuter student, I use school to escape my home life. Unfortunately, school is my outlet (“unfortunately” because I feel like one should love or enjoy school, but it shouldn’t have to be something that you use to cope or depend on to distract you so you don’t spiral down a dark hole).

My step-dad does work in the evening, and he watches the babies in the day. My mom got laid off recently, so now he works during the day while my mom stays home. The weekends have been monstrosities to prepare for this summer–weekends being when my mom is home. I cannot express the state of constant, persistent awfulness that I have now that my mom is home 24/7, and my semester is now over so I have to be home 24/7. If he’s not home, I’m forced to help with the children. If he’s home but doing something else like cutting the grass, I’m forced to help with the children.

I wasn’t able to get any job or apply anywhere or do anything because my schedule (or should I say my mother’s and her permission) would not allow it. With classes in the day and having to help with children in the evening, there was literally no place for a job. In fall, I’ll be starting as an SI (supplemental instructor) though, and frankly, that’s what I’m pinning all my hope on…that I’ll get to be away from home as much as possible next semester, but I know it’s just my deep, deep need to have to hope that things get better. If my mind naturally knew the reality or that it would suck just as much, I’d probably be very, very sad.

@cptofthehouse , like with @mom2collegekids , I’ve responded to everything you said or asked in the order they were stated:
It impossible for a forum board to anywhere close to adequately assess your sort of situation and advise you. If you are on the verge of doing harm to yourself or others, you need to get medical attention ASAP. Whether it’s through your school counseling facilities or the local ER, if you are try at a breaking point, please get help.

I’m not on the verge of doing harm to myself or others. I wouldn’t ever do anything to others because of my situation; I am in that state where I get the short end of every stick imaginable when I wasn’t involved. Where am I supposed to get help too? I can’t get to school, and I don’t have insurance. Since my mom got laid off, she said I’m supposed to get approved for insurance again, but then I’ll have to wait for however many weeks/months for when the scheduled appointment would be. I can’t even fastforward the process because I don’t know anything about insurance. You are correct, it is not the wisest idea to seek guidance from an online source like a financial aid forum, but the status quo is that something is better than nothing.

26

entire post was too long (hahahaha :frowning: ):

I read on a flyer the ways that one could qualify to be financially independent. Unless anyone wants to marry me, the only option I have to qualify is by being a “homeless youth.” I had a plan that would’ve worked, but part of the plan was very temporarily being in a hotel. The plan is squashed because I underestimated the price of staying in a hotel, even a cheap one. It’s not that I was being unrealistic though; my dad spontaneously moved to Orlando before, and he lived in a hotel for nearly a year. He didn’t work anything hard or high-paying at all, and he’s a cheap guy. He couldn’t have been paying a whole ton every month to stay there. For only two weeks at a cheap hotel near my school that’s $61/night, the price is about $875. Personally, I think that’s too much for such a little amount of time, especially if money is scarce and it’s not entirely needed. I did think of a new plan just today though…a storage unit! I probably can’t “live” there, or at least not sleep there at night (or maybe at all, it’s of course an extremely rough idea since I only thought of it just today), but it would be a good place to have belongings! All I really need is to keep clothes stuff there, which could fit in bags and would be extremely minimal. Again, I’m very realistic. I wouldn’t try to leave by taking every single thing I own or that’s in my room; I know what I need and what I don’t or what I could do without. With the low monthly cost of a storage unit, I think I could definitely swing it, especially if I’d have an income starting next semester. It also made me realize that being in that area, I’d be able to use MARTA to travel! I live too far from MARTA which is why I never stand up to my mom; if she takes away my transportation to school, besides friends, my best bet is to do the five-hour walk (I looked it up before) it’d take to get there. In addition to that, I’ve already looked up free public showers, and there are some in Atlanta, which aren’t far from Morrow at all. I’ll also have the benefit of using MARTA or even Uber because it wouldn’t be that far at all (only maybe $15 at most in price to go there). There are kitchens in the dorms, so I could probably use those if/when I’d want to cook. I could wash and dry my clothes either at a local laundromat or maybe in the school’s dorm building too. In short, I think it could definitely work, which gives me hope and makes me kinda happy (!). It’s more of a meantime thing–the case of my situation until I get a better grounding on life and all.

“Please understand, depending upon your school, how much it costs, and how much Hope, Zell Miller you get, you may not be able to swing it even if you are no longer considered a dependent of your mother. Some questions:”

  1. How much are tuition, fees, books and supplies per year to go to your school?
    Financial aid is able to cover everything and still have a lot left over even when I take a lot of credits. Ironically, the only class I ever bought books for were philosophy and humanities (both honors, both absolutely dreadful because I hate both, especially PHIL because it was based on theology and I am so extremely ungodly, SO boring) and those are the only classes I had a B and C in, respectively. I’ve gone through every other class without any textbook at all, and I’ve gotten a high A in all except chemistry, which I got a regular A in.
    2)How much would you need to live on your own?
    It depends on how luxurious I want my lifestyle to be. I’m a very minimal person, so like an aforementioned paragraph expressed, a storage unit works fine for me.
  2. How much are you getting in financial aid from your school? How much is Hope? How much is Zell Miller? How much in grants is the school giving you right now in their own grant money?
    I think N/A is a better answer.
    4). How much in loans are you getting. It’s only $5k more a year over the Direct Loan loan amount Maximus you can get as an independent that is available for independent students.
    I’ve not taken any loans and the hope and overall goal is to not take any.

“You should check with your financial aid officer if it’s even possible if you could get enough money to go independent to contribute as a student.”
As long as I have an independent status to file for financial aid, isn’t that all that matters? How I live isn’t really important, right?

“The problem appears to be that you are living with abusuve parent(s) and need to get out into a safe place. That is the focus for now.”
I think earlier you implied that an abusive household could be one way I could remove myself from here. I wouldn’t even know what would qualify as abuse, but either way, I wouldn’t want to go that route. The babies being here are fine in my mom and her husband’s hands–until they’re my age, I guess, assuming they’d want to do anything that’s not what my mom wants. In other words, as long as they live the majority of their life as I did–in the shadow of what my mom wanted and brainless to having my “own life,” they’ll be fine. By the time they’re 13 anyway, I’ll be 30. If they really need to escape at such a young age, at least I’d be somewhere by then–college degree or not or whatever the case would be. In short, I wouldn’t want to go that route. This is about me, not anyone else. Take me out of the equation and let everyone else do whatever the hell they want to do, please. They’re not bad parents, but they aren’t good ones anymore for me.

P.S. I only actually come here when my life is going… pretty… not good… I was so unbelievably angry earlier today that I didn’t know how to feel. I didn’t know if I wanted to cry, scream, go to sleep, or all three at the same time. I can’t even “turn myself off” and just be silent and dormant (honestly a depressive state for me) because now it just makes her mad and accelerates the already bad situation–or worsens it, rather. It doesn’t even feel like I can cry because she’s home and her husband isn’t here to occupy her to allow me to cry. If she knows I’m crying, it will be another whole set of hell for me to have to go through–a whole set of awful, just focusing in on a different area. Fun!

As always, not only am I desperate, but I am always grateful for your help, opinions, advice/guidance, and overall wisdom for my situation. I beg that you continue to assist me along with anyone else who sees this thread once it’s bumped. Thanks!