Yes the party information online is common, but I think that the information was geared to students in the 18-22 year old range.
I think, what you don’t seem to understand is that you can’t go back to being 18. You’ve had life experiences and have a child. Would you want your 14 year old dating a 55 year old man if allowed by law?
Saying that you’ll be shunned is excessive. Go to classes, meet your academic peers and have your meet-ups. BUT . . . . If you start acting like a hormonal teen, and trying to live the life of a 22 year old, that is just plain creepy, so you will definitely be shunned.
I don’t think kids are looking for a new father. They are likely in the process of escaping the last one. And you are saying they don’t want an older person to be their friend. I’m old. Eww. So this pretty much leaves me out completely, doesn’t it? Maybe it does. I’m just asking.
My question is like this:
I am sitting in classrooms every day with other students, shoulder to shoulder, taking the same classes, taking the same tests. We are all legally adults. We are all single.
But I am different. I am 55 and they are 19.
How much difference if any does this make?
If I would say “I am black, they are white” we would of course say “No difference. No one should pay any attention to skin color. That’s racist.”
But this is different apparently. How different?
Should I just ignore everyone other than the minimal interaction required by the class and isolate myself, like black student might have done in a pre-civil rights era?
Should I try to make friends?
If I do will that be welcome or rejected as “creepy” “weird” “pervy”? (Much like a black might have been tolerated but would have been considering “different” “ugly” a couple of generations ago.)
I would like to hear from some young students their opinions on this, if they have one.
By the way, concerned moms reading this, I do not intend to corrupt any innocent children. If in theory I would host some sort of party, it would be much more tame, not more outrageous, than the parties they are already going to. In fact, possibly some students would like to have a nice, fun get together but “dial it down” quite a bit compared to the typical off campus parties.
I find it really off-putting that you’re comparing the idea of college students likely wanting to socialize within their peer age group to racial segregation.
From what you’ve written on this thread, yes, I would likely find you odd or “creepy” if a 55 year old were to try to socialize with college students as if he were twenty.
Study with them, sure. Don’t try to date them. Even befriending, while not illicit, might be difficult – what do you have in common with an eighteen-year-old college freshman? Don’t they seem like babies to you?
Younger student here. I personally think it is great that you are going back for your degree and I commend you for that. In therms of academics, I don’t think there is likely to be that much stigmatization and talking to a student from a different background would be interesting. Getting lunch or maybe a visit to the museum? Sure that might be nice
However I might draw the line at meeting at a private home, at least not without other people. You asked why. I think it is just a safety concern more than anything. When we were younger, we were raised to not go to the houses of strangers. With other 20 something college students it is slightly different because most are just there getting through college or having a good time. But if an older man invited me to his house, alarm bells might be going off and I might wonder what are his motives for inviting me over. It is not about socialization, but the simple truth that someone that is older typically does not have the desire to hang out with people drastically younger and may have the resources to be more harmful than someone who just moved out of their parents house.
Also in the case that people do come over, I don’t know that many people would be going to explore “different kind of men” and I would caution you about viewing your guests that way
Closed thread. Whatever your intent, @nontraditionalguy, I think it should be clear to you that there are some situations where even the purest of motives are not enough to avoid really bad perceptions. Let’s stay away from this kind of theme in the future, I think you have your answer. Assuming this is even real.