I am completely and utterly lost.

College Search & Selection
1

<p>I am completely and utterly lost. For the sake of your time and my time, I will try to make this as short and possible. I spent the entire summer researching colleges. Online. Lame, I know. I had a solid list of nine-ish schools by late august/early september. A couple weeks ago, I visited one of these schools. And I liked it, honestly I did. Everything they talked about really appealed to me. Then when I came home, I just felt so disillusioned. I liked it and I felt like I could grow to love it if I went there, but I didn't have that initial sense of belonging. </p>

<p>I just don't know what I want out of a college anymore. Yes, it would probably help to visit colleges and stuff but my mother refuses. She wants me to apply to all these colleges, and then visit the ones that accept me. Also, now my list is an amorphous blob of random colleges of all sizes, shapes, and colors.</p>

<p>short "synopsis" of myself (ha)
I have pretty good grades, 11th in my class (at the moment), I'm in IB (hellzyeah), I'm not totally sure what I want to do (possibly psychology, neuroscience), I'm a well rounded student - I'm not one of those 'I only like math/english' people because I like everything, I'm introspective and into introspective things (does that make sense?)</p>

<p>I don't know. I don't even know much else about myself. All the above are superficial things that only colleges would care about.</p>

<p>AHHHHH. Someone please offer me some guidance.</p>

2

<p>brandnewstate, I feel your pain. Immensely. I'm a junior too, and I'm incredibly worried about finding that "right fit" - especially since my visits will likely be at the same time as yours.
I know this is going to sound stupid, but you'll certainly stress less if you have patience. SO MANY PEOPLE have been through the same indefinite feelings, and I'm sure they all turned out all right ;). But, a year and half is a long time to be patient and stress-free, and I'm certainly aware of that...
That being said, you should focus on getting a diverse list of schools that have one aspect in common. Think back to your last college visit, and make a list of what you liked and what you didn't like. Then, for example, if you thought it felt too small, look into schools with a larger population. Also, think of what you like and don't like about your high school. In a class, do you prefer getting to voice your opinion with a select number of people, or do you like listening to the many opinions in a larger class without worrying about getting singled out? Hopefully, finding ONE concrete option you know you'd like in a college and work from there.
Distance is also a big thing to consider, and hopefully, one you already have an idea about. Are you the independent "get-me-out-of-here" person who wants to live entirely one their own without help from parents or high school friends? Or would you rather slowly transition with a school that will have a few high school alumni and parents nearby? 3 hours away, or 13 hours away?
Another great place to start is money. If you're going to a graduate program, undergrad schools with great financial or merit aid are probably a smart idea. A 50,000 college with no merit aid opportunities is probably not the ideal situation.
Anyway, I really hope this helps =). If you have anymore questions (as I'm similarly doing research and trying to find out stuff like this), feel free to send me a message - I'd be happy to help ;D</p>

3

<p>to help narrow down your list and decide what you want, you don't need to visit your target colleges. Not at first, anyway. Many books and people (myself included) recommend that at the start of your search you visit nearby colleges of various TYPES. Almost everyone has a set of colleges within a 2 hour drive; a college in an urban area and the suburbs, a LAC, a large public U, etc. By first visiting these and getting a feel you can start to experience and understand what type(s) would be a fit for you, and begin to develop an idea of what to look for in your ideal colleges.</p>

4

<p>Also, it is OK to not fall in love with a school. I think that folks think that there is ONE RIGHT SCHOOL that pales in comparison to all others. But this isn't true. There are probably quite a few schools that you will like. And really, how much can you get to know a school after visiting for a few hours. Some people fall in love at first sight, but most of us find schools we like, pick one, and fall in love over time.</p>

5

<p>Good thoughts from the other posters. Let me add one:</p>

<p>"I just don't know what I want out of a college anymore" may suggest that you should take a Gap Year. Its an increasingly popular option. There are many wonderful gap year programs-search on-line. City Year and Americorp are two programs worth considering domestically. There are many and they don't cost anything to attend-and some pay you.</p>

6

<p>Thank you all for the advice! But, maybe it's unclear from my original post, but I am a senior. So there isn't really that much time to meander about...</p>

<p>but I really like the idea of visiting nearby types of colleges! I'll definitely do that; hopefully it will help</p>

7

<p>Great idea to visit more colleges. Don't let your feelings after one visit effect anything! Everyone has some mixed feelings about any college. And there are truly several 'fits' for each student. Just visit and see what you think.</p>

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<p>yeah the problem with visiting colleges is my mother does not see the point and does not want to pay all the expenses. I think this may be one reason why I am/was going so crazy. </p>

<p>any tips on how to convince her?</p>

9

<p>People here are telling you to (inexpensively) visit colleges close to where you live, even if they aren't the ones you'll be applying to. This would at least give you a feel for different types of colleges and get you familiar with the variables involved in deciding among colleges (urban/suburban/rural, big/medium/small, etc.). It's not a bad idea to wait to visit the ones on your list until after you find out who has accepted you. But such a strategy makes it even more important to apply to only those colleges you'd really like to attend. Read up on them in the various college guides (Fiske, etc.), check out each college's web site (especially the virtual tours and photo galleries).</p>

10

<p>Visiting many types of nearby schools is a good idea. You might also consider ordering the collegiate choice walking tour videos of some schools you are particularly curious about. You need a real visit to choose to actually attend somewhere but the walking tour videos might help you in deciding where to apply.</p>

11

<p>Both my career and my pastime are college life, and I've offered this opinion on CC before. Every time it gets mocked and shouted down by those who believe there's an all-important fit that they must find. But after 36 years as a student, grad student, and college administrator, I still believe it's true.</p>

<p>College "fit" is highly overrated. True, if you're not Mormon, you'll be out of place at BYU. If you're not a religious conservative, you'll be out of place at an evangelical school. If you're really turned off by artsy, countercultural types, then you'll want to steer clear of Bard, Sarah Lawrence, et al. But for 90+% of the colleges out there, you could make the fit that you seek.</p>

<p>Let's be realistic. Not many 17-18 year olds are finished products. They may think that they're this way or that, they're preppy or hippy, they like one setting or another. But they're still very much in the process of exploration and discovery. That's a big reason that they're going to college. </p>

<p>A lot of kids on these boards say they're looking for a preppy campus culture or they must avoid a preppy campus culture. The fact is, they'd adapt either way and find kindred souls at most schools. The visit on which they'd propose to base their choice would be half a day, and include a walking tour, an info session with an admissions officer, and perhaps lunch in a dining hall. Prospective students come away with a positive or negative feeling, but it's often based upon the likability of the tour guide, the aesthetics of the architecture, the weather on the day of the visit, etc. I'm not saying that visits aren't valuable - just that they can easily lead you to love one school and dismiss another on scant or less consequential evidence.</p>

<p>One thing that's a very real determinant of the quality of your college experience is the quality of your peer group. You can judge student quality by selectivity, but also by the kinds of things in which students are involved, the level of campus activity, and the quality of the products that they produce (such as the campus newspaper). I'd advise you to look for the best student body at the best educational institution you can, be sure that the student body is diverse enough to include a variety of cultures and activities, and then look for ways to make the environment work for you. And in college choose as with the choice of a significant other, don't obsess over the notion that there's one true fit that you must find. Human beings - especially youthful ones - are remarkably adaptable.</p>

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<p>gadad has one opinion. On the other hand, I personally know 2 people who attended my college (which I loved) who ended up tranferring. They applied sight-unseen because it had a good reputation and they thought they'd like it. Both said they knew within hours of arriving on campus they'd made a mistake. If you read thru some of the old postings about college visits, you'll see accounts by parents of visiting some colleges and their kid refused to even get out of the car! To be sure, fit can be oversold. But I doubt someone who gets a rush out of the intensity of a school in downtown Manhattan is going to be just as pleased to attend a rural school in the middle of empty fields, and vice-versa. Some kids thrive in a large public U, others do better in smaller classes and at a school where they get personal attention. </p>

<p>There is a book I recommend to people starting their college search called "Admission Matters". Amazon link is Admission</a> Matters: What Students and Parents Need to Know About Getting Into College Written by 2 college admission officers it has an entire chapter about fit. In part they say
[quote]
We believe that the college selection process should be about fit — finding colleges that are a good fit for you. A number of factors contribute to fit— academic, extracurricular, social, and geographic, among others—and the determination of fit will be different for different people. Assessing fit takes time and effort and is much harder to do than simply choosing colleges by looking at a list of rankings. Stephen Lewis, former president of Carleton College, stated it well: “The question should
not be, what are the best colleges? The real question should be, best for whom?

[/quote]
</p>

13

<p>Admission Matters is a good book. It addresses the subject seriously and realistically, without getting into the crazy-making "second guess the ad comm/learn the insider's secrets!" stuff.</p>

<p>I think Gadad makes good points. Yes, there are some kids who would be miserable in the concrete canyons of NYC, and others who would be miserable in the mountains of New England, and yet others who would be miserable in a big state U in a southern state capitol. But most people can adapt well within a reasonable range.</p>

<p>A downside of becoming infatuated with a certain school when you visit is that you might not get in! Then what?</p>

<p>Why don't you tell us what your list was before this crisis of confidence. And a brief idea of what appealed to you about each one. Then perhaps people could give you some perspective on it, including perhaps some alternate suggestions for you to look into.</p>

14

<p>I think you might like U of Rochester. Great Neuroscience, English, Music, strong in many areas.</p>

15

<p>I think gadad is probably right that college "fit" is overrated for SOME kids. For others, it's everything. I've visited probably twenty schools with my daughter over the past year and a half. Some she knew instantly she wouldn't like, even though they looked fine on paper. Others she fell madly in love with---even though those she loved weren't always all that similar to each other. Others fell somewhere in between. And I know her well enough to be able to say with some confidence that she's probably right in her judgments in the vast majority of cases. Of course she's not a "finished product." Her interests, passions, and perceived needs could change. I hope she never becomes a "finished product," because to me that implies someone who has become so deeply stuck in ruts that they've stopped growing and adapting to change. I just want her to end up at a school that will advance her farthest and fastest along her learning trajectory, starting from who she is right now, which is someone complex and wonderful and unique. And believe me, there are enormous differences among schools on that score.</p>

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<p>I don't want to throw another monkey wrench into your situation, brandnewstate, but even with campus visits there's no guarantee that a school that seems loveable after a few hours on campus will turn out to be the right "fit". There are so many variables.You may choose a school because of its strength in your major, then change your mind about the major anyway. You may find that the social activities that seemed exciting to a high school senior constrained by parental rules are tedious and juvenile after a few months of independent living. You may end up with the roommate from hell. You may find that you aren't the city mouse (or country mouse) you always thought you were. The campus that seemed charming in the fall may be a frigid wasteland in the winter. So I think you have to just take it all a little more lightly, complete those applications, and hope for the best. </p>

<p>Back in the olden days when I attended college, no one took gap years, very few students transferred between colleges, and there was very little navel-gazing about defining oneself and even less angst about finding the right school. We picked a college using the information we had (usually just the course catalog and a glossy brochure, in fact), assumed it was a good choice, made the four years the best they could be, and never looked back. Gadad is right--you are far more adaptable than you think. You didn't get to choose the proper "fit" of your elementary, middle or high school, nor your region of the country, place of worship or neighborhood, nor the relatives you have to share Thanksgiving dinner with...yet you survived it all and prospered. And for the rest of your life you'll have to operate in business and social situations where the "fit" is less than ideal. Even if you have some negative experiences at the college you ultimately attend, those experiences will mold you, strengthen you and, yes, educate you. Don't forget that this isn't a life sentence--it's just four years, the same amount of time you spent in high school. And while reading the CC boards can give the impression that the trajectory of the rest of your life depends on your college selection, that's just not the case.</p>

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<p>Actually, I came to a conclusion similar to gadad's a couple days ago while listening to my history teacher talk about his college days. (He get's really into it.) I've decided to just stick with the colleges I have on my list at the moment and see where that takes me. Although, I think my list has what the people at CC call the "cluster effect" so I may have to make some amendments to it. </p>

<p>And I decided against URochester because it is too cold, too far from anything, and too close to home, but I do love my family really. I just need some room to grow.</p>