I applied to Exeter and was rejected....And I think I might know why...(Anyone else feel this way?)

Prep School Admissions
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Before I even start, I ask that you PLEASE read this all the way through before commenting because I certainly don’t want anybody to get the wrong idea. I understand that there are a plethora of reasons someone’s prep school application might be rejected, this is just my opinion after thinking on the issue awhile. I really encourage people to reply because I want to hear other opinions on this as its a bit controversial.

So, I am a 10th grade female student and recently I my application to Exeter was rejected and i’ll admit I was pretty bummed out at first, but I recovered quickly and am working to hopefully apply again for next year :slight_smile: Life goes on, after all. Despite this, however, I read an article that recently struck a cord with me and really made me wonder…WHY was I rejected?
The article I read was concerning diversity quotas in schools and how some people are suffering because of them. For those who don’t know, diversity quotas are basically racial demographics that schools meet–by accepting more and less of certain races–in order to get funding or boast a “highly diverse” school. This is such a controversial and wide-spread issue that there have been huge lawsuits about it…

Now, before I go farther, let me say right away that I love diversity and am learning 3 languages right now (French, Korean, Japanese) and the whole reason I applied to Exeter was to experience the amazing diversity of people and ideas it so greatly touted. I was pretty excited about meeting people from all different walks of life, and maybe even banding together for projects that would make a difference. I thought the whole situation was great. I still do in fact—However, after I was rejected–and read this article and a few others—I wondered if I possibly didn’t make it into Exeter because i’m white.

Yes!! It sounds stupid, which is why I’ve reflected about this for a long time to make sure I wasn’t being asinine. But the more I researched, the more it made sense. It turns out schools will specifically choose those who are a certain ethnicity (often those of Hispanic or African American descent) over White or Asian applicants. And that’s awful!! I feel like if all applicants put in a huge effort and try their best, they should all have a chance to make it in, regardless of ethnicity, skin color, sexual orientation, gender, country of origin–it’s definatly the personality and work ethic that’s important!!!

I’m sure all applicants did their best work in applying for Exeter—and the ones who were accepted I’m positive deserved it (coming from someone who dealt with the workload…it takes perseverance!)—But since Exeter touts their diversity so much all over their school website and recruit all over the world—it makes their decision questionable to me. I had great grades, a great SSAT score, and an awesome interview, so I don’t see why I wouldn’t be accepted unless 1) They were extremely low on space for new applicants, or 2) The diversity quota. (Just to let you guys know for the sake of knowing the whole situation, i’m white, female, and do not identify as anything on the LGBT spectrum, so i’m pretty average statistically speaking)

I really want to discuss this with people…what’s your experience applying to Exeter or other prep schools that boast high diversity? Do you feel like the same thing may have happened to you that I believe happened to me? What have you observed in applying that may put you at a disadvantage due to your ethnicity? Do you really believe schools don’t discriminate on the basis of gender, ethnicity/race, or sex? Are diversity quotas really fair-- or just another form of racism?

I also really encourage people to research issues involving diversity quotas as well and not just listen to me and leave it at that. This is defiantly something more people should know about, no matter what stance you take on this. Anything directly involving education affects everyone and is a completely valid concern

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Wow…this turned into an essay I did not expect to write. If you read this all the way through…Thank you so much <3

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If what you write is true, why are the VAST majority of boarding school students White?

Also: If you read other threads on this site, you will understand that admissions officers are building a community. If their star violinists are both graduating and their varsity lacrosse goalie is studying abroad next year, they may be looking for violinists and lacrosse goalies this year. Next year, they may need Mathletes and swimmers and be especially enthusiastic about fast swimmers who are also Math Counts champs. It is NOT just about great SSAT scores, grades, interviews, and extra curriculars. It is about finding the right mix of kids based on what the school needs.

If you really want to go to boarding school, apply to a broader range of schools to increase the likelihood that a school is looking for someone with your particular strengths and skills.

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I never heard that before, As I know it Exeter has boarding school students applying from all over the world (Not just white-majority countries such as Europe and the United States, they have students applying from South America, for example, as well as Asian and Middle Eastern countries) in fact most often international students apply for boarding schools. But if that’s true than I definatly have to look into that more. And I although I have a wide range of interests perhaps mine just didn’t fit that school, though I don’t understand why they wouldn’t accept me just because of that. But thanks a bunch for the input, i’ll definatly reflect on that :slight_smile:

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I’m so sorry that you got rejected from Exeter! Rejection hurts, but it’s good to see that you’re picking yourself up again.

I’m going to be honest, I don’t think the fact that you are white had a TON to do with your rejection. For sure, race plays a part. I’m definitely not going to try and deny that because it is present in prep schools and how they handle their admissions. Then again, I don’t really think that’s where you can place most of the blame. They accept many white female students every year. Does it make it a little harder to get in if you’re white? Yes. Did you get rejected because you’re white? Highly doubt it. You do sound extremely qualified. The hard part about admissions is that some of it is just luck of the draw and the fact that there were applicants who were just MORE qualified than you were this year. I’m sorry to say it like this because I’m sure this must sting and I don’t want to be mean, but I don’t think your race is the reason why you didn’t get in.

If you are wanting to apply to prep school again, you might want to cast a wider and apply to more than just one school, especially if you have your heart set on boarding school. BS admissions is a big of luck of the draw so if you really really went to go to BS you should apply to more than one (especially since Exeter is one of the hardest boarding schools to get into in the country). What are you looking for in a school? If you have any questions pm me and good luck in the next round of admissions! :slight_smile:

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I appreciate the advice so much! Yes, i’m definatly thinking about applying to more than one next year, likely Phillips Andover and one other school I haven’t decided on yet. Also, you don’t sound mean to me, you’re just saying it like it is and I appreciate that because people aren’t always honest. I have never dove into the world of boarding schools before this year and i’m still learning things about it, so another perspective is always great. Thanks! :slight_smile:

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I think students are put into a bucket with kids who have similar traits and that’s who they compete against. For instance, kids from the NE probably compete with other kids from the NE, private school kids likely compete with other private school kids, STEM kids compete against STEM kids, and so on. I think you were probably competing against some other very qualified kids who are similar to you in lots of ways, but there are just so many talented kids and so few spots.

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I agree with @austinmshauri’s post in that applicants are put into “buckets” with whom they are compared against. Naturally, the top tier prep schools have to be purposely diverse–for a good image, better overall student experience, etc–and they are, therefore, much more inclined towards minorities in admission. A good strategy for us ORMs and WASPs may be to develop a “stereotypically uncommon” spike. Because really, who finds Asians that play the piano and/or violin, well, interesting? As an Asian applying for the most competitive schools, I put emphasis on my unusual ECs and passions such as Varsity HS Wrestling, being homeschooled, etc.

Don’t take this seriously though, what would I know? I’m only an applicant lol. Besides, schools will only take who they need the most.

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You’re applying for entrance to 11th grade, which is not a common entry year. If Exeter wanted to fill their incoming 11th grade class with girls exactly like you, they could do it 100 times over. It’s hard to hear, but it’s not really about you specifically - it’s about where you could fit into the community and how many other “yous” they already have. Also, and I think this is important to say - your post assumes that minority students aren’t just as qualified as you are - that they’re admitted solely on the basis of their race/ethnicity, and getting in with lower scores/grades/worse recommendations, etc. That is just simply not the case. I can tell you that when an adcom is looking at two very similar students, and one is white and one is black, they take into account the fact that some students of color have already over come significant systemic biases/racism to get to where they are today - and it’s a hell of a lot more impressive to achieve without the resources (personal connections, financial, access to educational programs) available to many UMC/wealthy white families. Diversity means so many things - it’s not just race. It’s also socio-economic status/class, geographic diversity, diversity of interests, etc. Each school is trying to build a diverse community for the benefit of all. I really think interpreting your rejection as evidence of discrimination based on your race is 100% the wrong lesson to take from this experience. There could be a dozen different reasons why you weren’t accepted, but instead of ruminating on your rejection, I’d suggest accepting it, looking at a wider variety of schools for your next cycle, and moving on.

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Oh no, that’s not what I was trying to do at all!! I think you may not have read the post all the way through, because if you did you would have seen that I write (more than once actually) that I believe everyone deserves a chance, regardless of ethnicity, skin color, sexual orientation, religion, sex, gender, country of origin, etc. It’s actually quite hurtful to hear somebody call me racist especially since I have a very diverse circle of friends who I care about very much and support very adamantly. I had just happened across an article that made me think and I just wanted to post my opinion on my own experience and see if anybody could relate, or their stance on the issue. I understand that I didn’t get accepted and I am okay with it, whoever got accepted deserved it completely without a doubt, and besides that I didn’t hinge all my hopes and dreams on one school. If you had read and payed attention to the first paragraph you would have noticed that. I’m moving on and i’m sure there are better things ahead :slight_smile: I’d be more careful though about who you accuse as hateful or racist because that might really hurt someone one day.

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@Kamina_Blue2020 your reaction is typical. Most people get angry when they are called on their racism. Open your heart and grow.

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Oh no, it seems I really gave off the wrong idea to someone. Please know that I do not, at all, think minorities are incapable, unqualified, etc. I believe everybody can do fantastic things and is completely capable. I have so many friends and all are very unique and diverse and talented and I support them fully. I feel 110% that those who were accepted deserved it completely, without a doubt.
I noticed your comment seems to allude to the fact that I am in a wealthy family with connections and such, but the truth is that I am quite average and happen to live in a town with poverty and poor education and was seeking Exeter for better education opportunities (I would be on scholarship, I might add. I could never afford tuition.) Hardships and stereotypes affect people of all colors and ethnicities too, I might add, it just so happens that some individuals and groups face more than others. Living in my town has allowed me to witness that firsthand and its such an awful thing. However, I do agree with some of the things in your post, and of course another perspective to broaden my view is always valuable to me. Thanks! :slight_smile:

(P.S I have moved on from feeling the sting of rejection, and as I mentioned in the first paragraph, I feel like there are better things ahead for me :slight_smile: )

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@dankfinesse I’m also homeschooled and I really liked your comment!! I never thought of that, that’s some awesome advice and I really appreciate it, thank you!! :slight_smile:

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I never said you were a racist, or hateful - please do not read into my post. I’m not a fan of ad hominem (or ad femina, as the case may be) attacks, and wouldn’t lightly throw around an accusation like that. Two quick things: 1. You really should look beyond Exeter and Andover, or many of the more well-known schools. Take a look at NMH, Brooks, Berkshire, Putney - there are dozens of very good schools out there. Don’t discount the all-girls schools, either - if your motivation is to gain access to more academically challenging schools, there are many single sex schools that could be a great fit. 2. I don’t know you - obviously - and I understand that people often type quickly on message boards, but in this thread, I’ve found three glaring errors (“cord” for “chord”, “payed” for “paid” and “definately” for “definitely”). I would strongly suggest having someone proofread your admissions essays.

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@Janwel Of course i’m upset, anyone would be when being accused of something that they are not. I can’t help but feel as if you didn’t read my comment at all. My heart has always been open and always will be. I can’t help but notice you keep comparing me to others who may actually be racist, which is also quite hurtful and could hurt other people as well. Once again, I say, I literally stated in my essay that I am not against anyone of any color, ethnicity, country of origin, sex, sexual orientation, gender, religion, etc. I believe everyone that was accepted completely deserved it, period.

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Welcome to the world of admission processes in general. Some places race plays a large factor, other places they do not

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@momof3nyc I plan to look beyond Exeter and Andover, i’m looking at–at least–two other schools. I definatly learned from this experience :slight_smile: And as for the errors I normally wouldn’t make those, my keyboard is a bit faulty and the autocorrect is dreadful (it changes “definetly” to “defiantly” often and makes other errors, its very frustrating)

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I’m glad at least someone seems to agree. :slight_smile: Of course It’s not always a bad thing, but the fact is that nonetheless IT IS a thing and some people seem to ignore it. It affects more than just those who are white and it really bothers me that some people make it out to be a white-centric issue. Its something I feel like we all should think about more

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@Kamina_Blue2020 I suggest you read widely in this forum and learn more about th boarding school admissions process and about the many schools other than Exeter and Andover. I think you will learn a lot. Good luck next year!

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I absolutely will! Thank you! :smiley: