College have free health support.
One of the many strategies that being a successful adult requires is figuring out how to regroup and get back up when you get knocked down. Sounds like you are doing just that, and it is far healthier than simply withdrawing and giving up. It is hard, very hard. It comes with losses. But, a few months from now, when the sting and hurt goes away, you may look back and realize that it was a tremendous opportunity for growth. You just have to hang in there to get to that point.
It sounds like you are doing a good job of regrouping after disappointment. Keep moving forward in a positive direction.
So I posted my original post here and I wanted to do a separate follow-up of my case:
So…I did indeed get suspended for a semester however, it wasn’t even because of the low GPA/credit hours. I found out when I got back home from college that my dad had seemed to stop paying for about 7 months, so I was so far behind on my payments that I couldn’t return anyways, and my mental health wasn’t in good condition. Now, the closest school to me is VCU and I am arranging to meet with them to take a couple of classes as a non-degree seeking undergraduate student. I filled out the registration and now I am going to make payment plans.
Although I’m disappointed about being suspended, I am trying my best not to let it beat me down but it’s hard you know? I miss my friends, and even though Lynchburg isn’t an exciting city, it’s the people there that really matter. But for now, I need to make the best of my situation.
@NorthernMom61 Well i knew that I had to do just something and fortunately VCU was sympathetic to my situation, and by the time I return in the spring, I’ll have some money saved up.
@happy1 thank you
What do you mean by your parents are not supporting you. I also note your parents have been ill for about two years. What tangible needs do you have and what would parental support include? I think it difficult to get more parental support if you don’t know what it looks like. It may also be true that you are seeking something that is not realistic. Students mention lack of family support as a problem but don’t say what it looks like. Getting parental help is component in resolving your academic problems, but do your parents even know about it.
You said you only partied on weekends. Partying on weekends is a real threat to passing classes because of time spent partying and two days of sleeping such that you have neither the time nor perhaps clarity to study over weekends. Having two days or even just one day of studying over the weekend is part of attending college generally and is essential if you are in academic jeopardy. Getting wasted enables you to waste study time.
Certainly after failing first semester you should have become a more diligent student who is starting to earn average grades. Yet, your gpa over two semesters is stunningly terrible. If you love college, what are you doing to remain enrolled? I think you must take a serious and specific evaluation of what you need to fix. Did you attend class regularly and pay attention every day classes meet. Did you read the textbook and comprehend what it said and how that information coincided with faculty presentations. Did you submit well-argued and written appears on time and by all requirements. Did you study for tests and then figured out what happened to why you missed test items and what you need to do you to perform better on subsequent tests. College is school and requires more study time and independent action and study.
Classes generally have three to five contact hours per week. You probably had more time out of class than you did in high school and teaching is designed to let you know what is really important so you can learn more about a topic by yourself. Afternoons and evenings are not for playing games or watching television. Your father does not pay tuition for you to have a good time, but to learn so you become a competent adult and employee.
The importance of class participation is a wild card in college. A very good attendance record can be helpful if you are kinda between grades. A quiet excellent student is not often downgraded because of minimal contributions in class.
In summary, establish communication with your parents and minimize complaints of not supporting you. Parents tend not to respond positively if you allege they are picking on you. Parents can’t support you until you tell them what that means to you.
Your time is best served by studying and keeping up with academic requirements. When your grades and academic/study skills are helping you learn and you are doing well on tests you can allot more free time as long as you grades stay up.
The goal of attending college is learning and earning good grades. You can party some when you are passing your classes and your grades are on an academic upswing. Did you know that requirements for avoiding academic difficulty increases each years?
Colleges provide counseling services that are effective and at modest cost. Check out the school’s learning center to find d helpful resources and assistance. Some departments may also provide tutoring.
If you like and want to remain in school, begin by reviewing your behavior to find specific areas of need and get working on them. If your school is recommending summer school, take classes and do well because that indicates you are willing to change so you can remain. Perhaps they will be willing to accept passing grades on graduation
requirements at a community college so ask. That would give you some freedom and perhaps cheaper classes.
I apologize for seeming mean and unsupportive but you seem to have fallen into a familiar academic trap that catches lots of students. Find out what you need to do—make your own list of academic to do—and get going. Personally I would not leave school because I know what to do to start fixing academic problems. Indeed, I doubt that you could transfer now and time without action won’t help.
@zannah your whole post is basically blaming me for my own failure so thanks.
I have to agree with zannah on this one. You are now an adult and have to accept responsibility for your actions. You can not use the excuse of lack of family support. Sorry I don’t buy it. By saying this you are insulting those kids who really don’t have family support. The first semester of college is a transition period where you have to make an extra effort in your classes because it is not the same as high school. You were partying on the weekends instead of studying. Accept the consequences. You failed not one but two semesters. As a parent I would have withdrawn my child from college after failing the first semester. You need to spend some time on some reflection and spending more money for your college expenses at VCU may not be a good idea until you figure out what changes you plan to make going forward so that this doesn’t happen again. Don’t take education for granted. You are paying for it so you should be attending all classes and be 100 percent focused on your education first. Once you start performing well and have consistent performance in your classes then only you incorporate social activities but you have to be self disciplined so that you don’t get behind in your classwork. If you don’t understand something then you go to office hours. The college professors are not going to hand hold you if you don’t attend and don’t perform. During midterms you would have known how your were doing in your classes and if you were doing so poorly you should have dropped those classes.
If it was my child in this situation I would recommend taking some time off and working to open your eyes to the real world where people work very hard to earn a living. That will make you realize that to have a better life for yourself you have to put in the level of effort to succeed academically in college. I would suggest you live at home and try taking some classes at a community college and do really well in them so that you prove to your parents that you take your education seriously and that you are a responsible adult. You made a mistake but now you have to face the consequences of your actions and take steps to correct the situation. I feel sorry for your parents. College is expensive. Not everyone can afford extra semesters or repeating classes over the summer because those are added costs. You may not like what I have to say but I am being seriously honest with you on this matter.
If you have some medical issues I would recommend taking care of that first before even thinking of paying for another semester of college. The worst case scenario for you would be enrolling at VCU and messing up another semester.
@Ristretto I’m very sorry you have to fight though this. I lack family support too because my grandpas passed away, I had two cousins pass away, I’m estranged from most of my family, and I don’t even have any friends. I have some Questions about things you never mentioned on here and hope it doesn’t irritate you or sound like I’m assuming things, the questions are related to what caused my poor grades, and what I plan to do about it. This reply isn’t about me but to share what I plan to do to do better in the future and hopefully you’ll consider doing what I’m doing if any of these reasons are the same as yours. Do you have a friend you can talk to? If not, I would consider seeing a therapist but I know that doesn’t always work because I’ve been to therapy and have had both good and bad therapists. If you do decide to go see a therapist, see if there background and type of therapy will work for you. if you don’t like your therapist then look for another one. I’m still on the journey myself of seeking therapy and the answers to the problems in my life I’m looking for myself. Do you eat healthy and get plenty of sleep? If not, I would change your health habits while your out for the summer if your taking the summer off. I still struggle with eating healthy because I’m addicted to soda and fast food and because I have the summer off I’m gonna work on getting those out of my diet. I would also make a schedule that works to where your able to eat, get plenty of sleep, and study enough. i’ve struggled with sleep this last semester and because of that I’m taking afternoon and evening classes so I won’t dread getting up and can sleep in(it’s hard for me to sleep at night because I’m a night owl and I dread getting up in the morning becsuse I’m not a morning person). Is there a tutoring center at your school? If yes, did you use It and were there good tutors there? I’ve had good and bad tutors at my school and I tried to go there when the good ones were there. When I go back in the fall, I’m gonna make sure I’m not working or going to class while the good tutors are at the tutoring center so I get the help I need because the rude or bad tutors don’t work for me and even when I needed help bad I still didn’t go get help because I didn’t wanna deal with them. Did you work part time while in school? I had a part time Job this past semester and worked too many hours which interfered with school so I plan to only work on the weekends when I go back to school in the fall. Is your home or where you study at a good place to study and how many hours do you put in to study a week or day? I got a D in a class and withdrew from the other so I plan on retaking them in the fall. Can you retake the classes you did poorly in? Does your school allow grade replacement or for only the highest grade of each attempt for each class to be calculated in your GPA? Is there any interesting classes or organizations at your school to keep you motivated and excited about school? I really believe your capable of going to college especially if your feeling lack of family support or your going through a hard time because of something happening to a family member. I would really get this sorted before your start school back again. Is there anything that motivates you or excites you about life? Is there anything else in your life your dissatisfied with besides your grades or lack of family support? I really would love to help you if I could. What Is your major? I would make your Studying something that had application in the marketplace such as STEM or Healthcare. I wish you the best.
I made a few spelling mistakes and I forgot to finish a sentence. I meant to say your capable of doing college level work especially if lack of family support or something happening to a family member is interfering with school. It has been six years since my grandpa passed away, still feel just as depressed as I did the day he passed away, and I miss him very much everyday.
@raclut Since you think that I’m just making excuses why bother. You don’t believe a word that I said so whatever. I hate people who don’t even take the time to read what I freakin wrote but who cares at this point.
I meant @SuperGeo5999 sorry for your loss
@Ristretto did I seem helpful or was I just as insulting as some of the other people who commented on this thread?
@SuperGeo5999 You were definitely more helpful and not as condescending as the other two
Your mentality is the reason you’re failing. You’re mad because people are blaming you for YOUR own failures? Who else’s fault could it be??? The truth is you are indeed making excuses for yourself. Your family didn’t finish freshman year with a .76 GPA. YOU did. It’s mean but it’s the truth.
I know not having a supportive family can be detrimental but there are sooo many other ways to get help. I’m sure your school has a counseling center. Your friends. Your professors. Don’t just say “Oh well my family can’t help so there’s nothing I can do”. There IS something you can do, ALWAYS. Don’t give up on yourself!
You have to grow up and take responsibility. I’ve known too many people with your mentality. They flunk a class and say “Well the professor wasn’t fair!” or “My family didn’t help!” or “I don’t know how to study” or something else that is honestly completely remediable. No one wants to or is going to hold your hand through college.
No one here is trying to give you advice that they don’t think will help you. You have to evaluate yourself, figure out what changes in your life need to be made, and make them.
I really do apologize but you can’t pour sugar over a .76 GPA.
You created your own failures. But remember you can create your own SUCCESSES too.
I actually did read your post. Take ownership of your academics. Make plans for how you are going to change your study habits so that you are successful. If you want to be treated as an adult then show yourself as taking responsibility for your education and your future. Hold yourself accountable for your actions and your results and don’t blame others if things don’t go according to your plain. There is nothing your parents could have done to help you improve your grades. They couldn’t take the class for you. I know you mentioned your dad stopped making payments. Parents don’t usually tell their kids what their financial situation is especially if they are going through their own difficulties. Try being supportive of them instead of blaming them. You are getting honest feedback here. There is no use sugarcoating the truth because it is best to face reality and be proactive in correcting the situation. You can’t change the past but learn from it so that you make good decisions in the future. I am actually very familiar with VCU.
Make resolving your health issues a priority. Don’t ignore these issues.
@raclut Again, your condescending attitude makes me feel less motivated. You clearly did not read my first two threads, or if you did, you pick and chose what words stood out to you. I told you the stpes I was taking but you insist that it is MY fault. You are a reminder of the type of people/family members I have to deal with.
@jamsbrother You obviously do not if you continue to blame me.