<p>ya…i got rejected…not a surprise</p>
<p>All of this advice is really great. </p>
<p>My daughter was wait listed and denied across the board last year. What I would add is, you will be amazed at how fast late summer comes! Its ok to feel terrible, thats natural but
you will fine. Your parents will be fine. Take a break from CC even. Its hard to read about everyones plans when yours are still up in the air or not what you hoped for.</p>
<p>Another bit of an observation. We have only heard results from two boarding schools and one day school (waiting on 3 more BS) So far my daughter was denied at two BS she applied to last year (and was denied). The day school accepted her with FA (last year accepted but waitlisted on FA)
I thought she would be devastated about the two BSs but she isnt really. The difference is she had lots of regrets last year, mediocre grades and SSAT. She has NO regrets this year, she has impeccable grades, amazing recs, studied and did her personal best on SSATs. Was relaxed and confident in her interviews. What more could she do? </p>
<p>She has proven to herself she is capable so there is less to feel bad about.</p>
<p>She is also still waiting and has an amazing day school she loves to attend if she chooses. Its not quite the same as the finality of not having a new school. So I do sympathize, we know the hurt of that last denial or wait list. </p>
<p>But, take the time to recuperate then focus on having a great spring/summer with family and friends. It will make time fly and you will know if you are up to the task of reapplying later. No point in stressing about it now. </p>
<p>Best wishes to everyone going through disappointment.</p>
<p>I agree with everything the above posters have written. Take some time to cry and feel sad. This is an intense process and it’s heartbreaking when it doesn’t work out as hoped. </p>
<p>My child applied to 5 “big name” schools last year and was denied at them all. We applied late in the “admission season” without any prior knowledge of boarding schools. We were very ignorant and naive about the entire process. </p>
<p>We spent the month of March reeling from the results. We thought we were prepared for the possibility of not getting in anywhere. We found it’s very hard to prepare emotionally. Nearly impossible, in fact. It stung way more than we thought it would.</p>
<p>We slowly moved forward and decided to apply again this year, but not as a repeat. We expanded our search and got to know schools better. We sorted schools by acceptance rates, SSAT scores, schools with merit scholarships, percentage of students on FA, and percentage of students accepted. We made sure there was a range in every category.</p>
<p>We then created a list that had a range of schools where SSAT scores matched and some where DC’s was much higher than the school average. We need a great deal of FA, about 75%. We made sure all the schools had a high percentage of students with aid. We also looked more closely at the average amount awarded. Many schools have a high percentage on aid, but it’s going to families with much higher incomes. Some schools give a little money to a lot of families. Other schools give more money to fewer families. It doesn’t matter if they say they offer a full-ride to a certain income level but then rarely accept anyone from that income level. Look for schools offering scholarships. Look at school profiles. Many schools that aren’t mentioned often on CC often have just as good, or better, numbers as the big name schools. The hidden gems thread is your friend!</p>
<p>This year we doubled the number of schools and applied to ten. Yes, that’s a lot, but DC REALLY wants to attend boarding school and the local options are dismal at best. </p>
<p>As of this morning, DC has 4 acceptance offers (1 with 80% FA, still waiting on 3 FA offers to arrive in mail) and 3 wait-lists. We are still waiting for results on 3 other schools.</p>
<p>It CAN be done. Sending big hugs your way. Don’t give up!</p>
<p>My son who is very young for his grade was rejected last year from Andover and Exeter and waitlisted at 3 top schools. The advice we got was that he needed to wait a year. This year he reapplied as a repeat 9th grader and was accepted at Andover and waitlisted at Exeter. There’s always hope.</p>
<p>Our experience was virtually identical to MamaBug’s. Waitlisted at 2, denied at 4 big name schools last year. Need >80% aid.</p>
<p>We broadened our list as well – 14 applications this year.</p>
<p>4 admits 1 with 80% aid, waiting for FA info on the other three
4 Waitlists
2 Denys</p>
<p>Waiting on 3…</p>
<p>MamaBug, I wonder how many overlaps we have…</p>
<p>So, cry, eat ice cream, and move forward. There IS hope.</p>
<p>The bigger tragedy would have been not to have tried at all. Better to try and fail than to wallow with those who seek to go through life without taking a chance. Only those who have known disappointment and failure will know how to savor the sweet exhilaration of success, which will eventfully come if you stay in the arena and keep trying, never give up, and always stay positive. (Of course, you are allowed to give yourself a few days to recover from the blow, but get back on the horse after that).</p>
<p>I gotta say, I get chills when I read some of these comments–especially those from the parents. My God, the OP posts of her desperation over not being accepted to some prep school (one, frankly, I’d never even heard of) and the first response is “Study harder next year and maybe they’ll let you in!” Really?!</p>
<p>And what if she does just what you say and then doesn’t get in? Then does she conclude that she is, indeed, a loser? Why on earth would you grant the anonymous mediocrities of some prep school admissions board that kind of power? Good grief! Are you insane?</p>
<p>Here’s what I’d say to StarJazzy: Feel free to try again, if you like. But understand, there are many roads to Rome (eg, many paths to success) and there isn’t a prep school on the planet that can stop you from getting wherever you want to go. Countless people have gone to Exeter, Harvard, you-name-it, and had lives of misery and frustration, and if anyone tries to tell you that an elite prep school admission is the ticket to a better life, either they’re lying, or they’re deluded. Or both.</p>
<p>Instead of thinking about Middlesex (or whatever it’s called), think about what you love to do, think about what makes you want to jump out of bed in the morning. Think what it takes to be the very best at it, and throw yourself into that with all your heart and soul. And forget about those pallid bureaucrats on the prep school admissions committees, who’ve chosen to spend their days shuffling papers and ranking people they’ve never met and can never understand. </p>
<p>EtonDad, nice sentiments but, really, you don’t know what StarJazzy’s parents are feeling. I would hope that they are not disappointed in her (if they are, they’ve got serious issues), but the fact is, too many parents view their children as extensions of themselves, and the impulse driving their desire to have their children seem to be attending a high-prestige prep school is closely related to their desire to be seen living in the “right” neighborhood, driving the “right” car, etc. </p>
<p>It’s wrong to objectify one’s child so, and the desperation I see expressed by the children on these boards to score admittance to places like Andover, etc., surely does not “spring from within.” No, this is programming at work. And it’s obscene.</p>
<p>Now, this sort thing is as old as class itself, and civilization has stumbled along just fine, thank you very much–that is true. But our economy, our society, is in for some dramatic hairpin turns over the next few decades. These kids, I fear, are not being prepared to handle it. Instead, they’re being trained by those who supposedly care about them most to conform to a dominant paradigm that may not serve them the way it served earlier generations.</p>
<p>To the nearsighted, hardshelled reptiles of the world (and their friends):</p>
<p>I think if you look back and read the OP’s post, you’ll be surprised to discover no suggestion at all that admission to boarding school is a “ticket to a better life.” For the overwhelming majority of BS applicants on this forum, admission to boarding school is a ticket to . . . a better education!</p>
<p>If you’ve never had the experience of attending a really remarkable school with challenging classes, inspiring teachers and motivated classmates, I am sorry. You’ve missed something special. If you’ve never had the opportunity to live in a community of students and teachers, I’m sorry. You’ve missed something special.</p>
<p>Can most of the applicants on this forum survive without that experience? Of course, although, for some, their local schools really do leave a lot to be desired. Still, is it disappointing to try to achieve something and fail? Of course. And if they want to regroup and try again, why not? They should, in the meantime, make the most of whatever situation they find themselves in . . . but if they want to strive for something better, then more power to them!</p>
<p>@tortoise,</p>
<p>That was a really rude and condescending way to discuss the applicant’s 1st choice school. For your enlightenment, Middlesex is an esteemed old school w better academic credentials than deerfield, hotchkiss & choate…</p>
<p>Ditto, +1 to GMT7 and Dodgersmom.</p>
<p>@tortoise - you are out of line.</p>
<p>A lot of us have been a huge support system for students and parents for several years. And we’ve all experienced, or have had friends who went through (or whose students went through) the same process. Some of these students have NO good educational choices at home. Who are you to make a judgement about how to get to “Rome?”</p>
<p>And what if the OP tries a second time and doesn’t get in? Ask one of the CC members about that who tried a third time and got several good choices. Or all of the parents who took time to say what their journey was like and included a second time at bat? Or a late summer reprieve at a school that suddenly found additional funding.</p>
<p>No one is saying boarding school is the be all, end all for education. But many schools look favorably on an underdog who improves his or her scores and tries again. There are no guarantees in life but one…</p>
<p>Not trying again is the same as a guaranteed “no.”</p>
<p>The OP should call Middlesex in late March and ask what they can do to improve their chances for next year. Or broaden the search to include more schools. Sometimes the rejections come down to “not enough room at the Inn” and is in NO WAY a reflection on the student.</p>
<p>StarJazzy, My daughter once felt your pain, and I know exactly what you are going through.</p>
<p>Dreams… everyone deserves to have them and everyone who works for them should one day have their dreams met. I’m pretty surprised at Tortoises comments, but I’m not going to focus on the negatives.</p>
<p>Many posters here act as a support system and post fantastic insight not only to help one achieve their dreams of getting into boarding schools, but also help to teach people about life. First lesson- when you fall down, it’s ok to cry but eventually you have to get up and come back stronger. That may mean try harder in school and on tests, but honestly I can now tell you from my daughter’s experience it might mean focus more on your EC’s and your passions. You had fantastic SSAT scores. I’m not going to knock your scores one bit as you worked hard for those scores regardless of how high or low they were. I am going to give you my thoughts on the one scenario I have just witnessed. Scores aren’t everything. In fact, 90%+ SSAT’s are a dime a dozen. Is it a great accomplishment? Yes!! Will it guarantee you admission? Of course not. There are thousands and thousands of kids that have over 90%+ SSAT. Now, will someone who is extremely passionate about something that schools need, or schools are intrigued with get in with sub 90% SSAT scores? I am here to tell you today, “You bet they will.” </p>
<p>StarJazzy, I’m going to tell you a true short story. 2 years ago to the day, March 10, 2011, my d’s dreams were crushed when she found out she did not get into the day school she wanted to attend. No one had the answers why. She was one of the top students in the “Top” middle school in our city, she had great scores, all honors classes, never a B in her life, a fantastic kid, 5 sport athlete, phenomenal EC’s, and one of the nicest kids you could ever meet… according to all of her peers, their parents, and her teachers. She was crushed. I won’t lie, she cried for 6 months straight. Yes, 6 months! I never thought she would be the same. In fact, after a few weeks of the crying, I started finding myself waking up in my sleep crying as well for her. It took a very long time for her to be herself again. She still performed well in all facets of her life, but she just wasn’t the same anymore. </p>
<p>Fast forward 2 years. My d decided to apply to boarding schools. Actually she asked to apply a year ago as well, and we did not let her. Given that she was still asking this year, we let her. She applied to six schools, needing 80%+ Financial Aid. She has been accepted to five, in alphabetical order, Andover, Deerfield, Exeter, Loomis, and St. Paul’s School. </p>
<p>Never stop dreaming and never stop doing what you love. I am here to tell you, good things happen to those that are passionate about something. It’s ok to cry, for as long as it takes to get over it. But don’t stop dreaming. When one door closes, another one really does open. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but if you keep on doing what you love that door will open.</p>
<p>You’re not alone. I feel terrible too. 
I applied to Exeter, Milton, Choate, Deerfield, Hotchkiss and Lawrenceville for repeat 9th grade. As a girl from Hong Kong with a 94% SSAT but not the best grades as well as lacking in other aspects of my apps (poor interviews, recs, EC’s not outstanding enough), I knew I didn’t stand much of a chance. But I really, really wanted to go to prep school, and I guess I wasn’t expecting to get five rejections… I haven’t even gotten a single wait list, while all my classmates who applied to prep schools got at least one. I cried the whole day at school today. The only school I still haven’t received any news from is Milton, but I’m almost 100% sure I’m rejected.</p>
<p>At lunch break my friend’s mom called her saying that she’d received a FedEx acceptance package from Milton. That seemed to stump all my chances of getting in. There’s no way Milton would accept the both of us, and she had applied for repeat 9th too. In fact, I was the one who had told her to apply to Milton. I should be happy for her, but I’m so depressed right now. The thing is… I feel so mean thinking this, but I don’t think my friend’s application was any better than mine, if not worse. I guess that’s why I’m so upset about this.</p>
<p>I’m definitely going to reapply next year. I’ve never wanted anything as badly as I want to go to prep school. I’ll probably reapply for Milton. I’ve made up my mind to work really, really hard this year, and try again. :)</p>
<p>@dodgersmom Awesome job! Way to make the kids feel even worse about themselves! So remarkable to see that parents out there aren’t exhorting kids to devote their time and a energy to developing themselves, but encouraging them to focus on the hoops set up by faceless prep school admissions committees.</p>
<p>In nearby high-pressure towns, we’ve seen a rash of student suicides over the last decade. So, let me assure you, I’ve seen this attitude work its magic a whole bunch of times!</p>
<p>Not to single you out here. The parental responses to my comment (which swing so quickly, and tellingly, into attack-the-messenger mode) are depressingly predictable. (The most remarkable, perhaps, was the one calling my comment “out of line.” Lol. Yessir, Dad! And why is that, again? Because I said that no prep school admissions board can stand between your child and whatever it is s/he wants to do? Really? You disagree?!)</p>
<p>I’ll now drop out of this discussion, because I’ve no desire for, or interest in, a flame war. But I’ll say this, for the record, because the parental “guidance” on this board is just so toxic: Kids, think for yourselves, and–difficult as this might be–try not to let your parents’ insecurities run your lives. Or, if that’s not really possible (as that kind of pressure is really tough to buck), at least try to remember that your parents’ insecurities do not have to be yours. The world you’ll inherit from them isn’t going to look like the only world they’ve ever known. So do what you have to do to survive your teen years and remember, your school does not define you. You do.</p>
<p>Tortoise out.</p>
<p>To all in this thread all is not lost. Please consider Rabun Gap Nacoochee School in Ga. I promise I don’t work for them, but I know kids that went there and thrived. Really good college placement. Rolling admissions.</p>
<p>Ace has a point–I don’t know of the school to which he is referring–but there are many superb schools that are off the beaten track (just as there are colleges too) that are ready for your application, even at this late date. You can get both a great education there and a good springboard to colleges. </p>
<p>It does take some digging to find them–look at the Hidden Gems thread to start–and speak with your school’s placement/guidance counsellor.</p>
<p>I think everyone needs to do a better job of respecting opinions on this site. It seems like anyone that is outside out the circle and gives an opinion they get attacked. The moral of tortoises story was BS doesn’t define you. A few weeks ago I warned an applicant that their posts made it easy for AO’s to identity them and could jeopardize their chances for admission. I was attacked after that. Now that the poor child didn’t gain admissions to a school did my advice seem so bad? They are obviously very qualified. The takeaway is respect everyones opinion, even if you don’t agree.</p>
<p>Since yesterday, I am trying to write something nice but just don’t know what to say. </p>
<p>Believe me, you will be a much stronger person next year and this painful period will be your passport to bigger success.</p>
<p>You know, dear child, I feel for you. I felt like crying for the whole week-end after receiving the decisions for my S. They are a far cry from what we were hoping for. And I could not even show my mood. Too many people were looking. I don’t have a luxury of crawling under the sheets and crying it all out, neither does he. Well, que sera - sera, and we shall overcome it. Try and find some inner strength you were not aware of before. Girls are more resilient than boys, and life is just beginning for you. Be strong, follow your passions, find new ones and enjoy every day, no matter how hard it may be.
Best of luck to you all!</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Just curious, Ace, how do you make the connection between that applicant’s admission results and his/her posts? Do you have some inside knowledge? Should that applicant now be made to feel even worse by thinking that something they shared on CC took them out of the running? I’m in the camp that finds it very hard to believe that adcoms have time (or interest) to ■■■■■ CC trying to match poster handles/comments againt applications. Choate certainly didn’t seem to hold FutureExonian15’s moniker or posts against him/her or, maybe, Choate rejected another perfectly qualified applicant who they misjudged to be FutureExonian15. Or maybe Choate doesn’t use CC in their process. I think I’ll ask Ray Diffley next time I see him. I’ll report back.</p>
<p>@StarJazzy: Thanks for your honesty. When I scan threads and see one with a title like yours, I open it right away because I know I’m gong to read something real. We are all hurting for you and lifting you up in our thoughts. You are not alone, and I hope you find some comfort in knowing that there is a community here that will support you no matter what decision you make. We hope you stick around to let us help where we can.</p>