<p>I have some experience in security and privacy policies and here is my take</p>
<p>[ol]
[<em>]Reporting may make you look paranoid but that does not make the request less intrusive.
[</em>]Employers (including prospective employers) and possibly colleges have taken the stand that posting on social networks is considered as statements in public domain and not considered confidential. Hence anything you post (or your friends post) can and will be used against you (and in this case sometimes for you). For example if you say the college is your first choice it could be construed positively and if you say it is not, it could be construed negatively.<br>
[<em>]Social networks offer you privacy settings and they work to small degree. An serious investigator can get access to a lot of your information using a variety of techniques.
[</em>]Hence, if you post on FB things you do not want the rest of the world to see, increase your security settings to the highest level and not accept anyone you do not know well. This is a question of Caveat Emptor, you need to understand that anything FB is not private and hence you need to take sufficient measures to ensure privacy to the maximum extent. FB will not do it for you. If you get into trouble, you have to take responsibility for not understanding the open nature of social networks.
[<em>]Was this inappropriate? Yes, the admissions counselor has a fiduciary relationship (they have power over the student and they know it and the student knows). Hence by asking this request, they have put the student in a difficult position. Students may not want to say yes but are afraid to do so.
[</em>]Did the request have an ulterior motive? That is difficult to say without more information. The counselor being young and having grown up in FB may have liked the student and thought it was fun to have her for a friend. On the other hand, her bosses may have told her to friend the OP in order to probe her (the OP), in which case it is unethical, not illegal.
[/ol]</p>
<p>I have not read the complete thread and this suggestion I think was made before, but this is what I would do in the circumstances</p>
<p>1) Increase privacy settings on my account to the maximum and warn friends to be careful with the posting.
2) Open a more innocent sounding account.
3) Tell the counselor that you have two accounts and one is for family matters and other is for professional college issues and reject the request from the personal account but add her (or request her to join) your college account. This way you are acknowledging her request, your are reacting very professionally and at the same time you sending her a message that you want to be friendly to her but not put any one in a difficult position.
4) Do not add personal friends to the college account. You could add teachers, references, employers etc, people who will be discrete. Do not link your personal account to the college account.</p>
<p>I did see an earlier posting that said if you had a different account, you need one for every college. While that will be nice, I do not think it is necessary.</p>
<p>An account called Suzycollegedmission 2012 sends a message for everyone that is a generic page and in the page it could say</p>
<p>I am applying for admission to many colleges and this a forum for me to interact with the colleges and my professional references. Please note that is you have something confidential, please PM instead of posting.</p>
<p>Wow, this seems to be a lot of freaking out over nothing. Unless you have some illegal secret life, then there’s no reason to fear an admissions counselor. What can the counselor expect if he or she finds something unflattering on your profile? It’s your Facebook profile, not some formal essay. Honestly, I don’t feel you need to hide anything from admissions. If they don’t want you, then you probably won’t want them.</p>
<p>Also, having 2 facebook profiles violates Facebook’s terms of use and is counterintuitive to the reason why Facebook was created. If you’re still freaking out about your counselor seeing you innermost secrets, then don’t friend them or better yet don’t post stuff that will get you into trouble in the first place.</p>
<p>The facebook intrusion isn’t really the issue as I infered earlier where my son is baraged with emails from colleges he doesn’t want to have contact him, so much so he is wondering if he will have to change his email address if it doesn’t stop in the spring.</p>
<p>It has to do with any person or company that want access to your personal life that they don’t belong in. With facebook it is additionally inappropriate because admission officers are not your friends in any shape or form. </p>
<p>The act is a total marketing gesture that serves them and implies that you may get some preferential treatment in the admissions process.</p>
<p>No one should have to screen what they post on their personal facebook page because of fear that the admissions person will read it especially if they want to post things that are negative about the college that the admissions person is from.</p>
<p>Why have a facebook account if you can’t express likes and dislikes and have to think with every post, “Oh, maybe I shouldn’tt post this because the admission’s person might read it?” </p>
<p>In general, no one should post something they don’t want the world to forever know about them but that is just basic self restraint.</p>
<p>I agree with post #83, this is much ado over nothing, Facebook can be used in any number of ways and to assume it has to be private or only for your close friends in h.s. is a rather narrow way to look at socia media applications. Maybe you see it that way, but a lot of the rest of the world does not.</p>
<p>Before the days of the internet, colleges would get your mailing address when you took the SAT/ACT/PSAT and put you on mailing lists for info about their college…its called ADVERTISING. If you didn’t want to read their literature or weren’t interested in that college …you threw it in the trash. Nowadays they more likely use the internet and your email address or social media such as facebook to ADVERTISE their college and keep in touch with perspective students. Advertising can be annoying at times, but not sure when it became ‘inappropriate’…LOL.</p>
<p>If you post things you don’t want others to see/read on PUBLIC websites…figure it out for yourself and DON’T post those things, a little common sense goes a long way even on the internet.</p>
<p>Why would I ask an admission officer why she added me? That would definitely make things noticed when thus far I’m pretty sure she doesn’t keep track of what students accept her. It just says “pending friend request”, so she doesn’t know I hit “not now”.</p>
<p>I ended up just accepting the friend request and just blocked her from some of my posts I’ve already written. I really didn’t want to hinder my chances of being admitted. My counselor told me to accept it. Although, I agree she shouldn’t have sent the request, I will just leave it for now.</p>
<p>FYI, ds1 is home on break, and I just asked him what kind of contact he had with the adcom “friend.” He said the only thing that was ever “personal” was that he wished ds a happy birthday. No biggie. He checked the guy’s wall and saw three friends in common, all of whom are currently enrolled at the adcom’s school. The kinds of things on his wall were: “Off to (city) to interview the next round of (school mascot).” I’m guessing the guy makes groups of “friends” and personalizes who sees what posts by where you live. In other words, his Boston group sees that he’s headed to Boston, his Philly group sees that he’s headed to Philly.</p>
<p>As I said initially, I think it’s just a cheap way to market to kids who already have expressed an interest in the school. I wouldn’t read a lot into it. I do note that the friends ds and the guy have in common are enrolled at the school. I bet they friended him early, too. ;)</p>
<p>early_college, it sounds like you handled it in a very mature and prudent fashion. Thanks for closing the loop and letting us know how you responded. And it would be great if - after the whole process is over - you call that admissions officer and ask what the request was all about. We’re all curious now. Best of luck to you!</p>
<p>Yes, it would be worth asking what in the world they were thinking.</p>
<p>The usual thing is to invite students to friend the college page, or the “class of 2015” page, so they can see communications from the college on FB. To friend the actual admissions counselor is a bit much to ask.</p>
<p>early_ But a person can’t “friend” you without your consent. They can ask, but you can ignore them. I was saying it was presumptive for the AC to ask. Usually they ask you to join the college page/group.</p>
<p>I consider asking to be your friend on facebook the same thing as friending you. Anyone can friend you, but one does not have to accept it. I understand what you’re saying.</p>
<p>There’s a HUGE difference, because the asker can’t see your information, photos, etc. without your acceptance. Unless you have very loose privacy levels?</p>
<p>If someone asks to be your friend on facebook, they are friending you which means they are sending a friend request. Once, you accept it the request, you are now facebook friends. A person can “friend” you and you do not have to accept it. They cannot see your wall unless you accept their friend request or if you have very loose privacy settings.</p>
<p>The admission counselor was from Ohio Wesleyan U. And I just got my wait-list letter today for EA. Hmm, delete time haha? I’m not sure if I’m going to accept the wait-list yet, but who knew you could get wait-listed for EA?</p>