<p>S1 just got a friend request from the college rep who came to his school this week. Only about six kids were at the visit, so there was lots of face time. Should he accept the request or not? This is a college he's definitely interested in, and he says there's "nothing on his page he wouldn't want his grandmother to see."</p>
<p>I can't imagine these people actually look at all these kids' pages, but it's an easy, cheap way to send info about the college. So, what does he do?</p>
<p>You can have limited access to a facebook page - I don't facebook enough to know what it's called but your S doesn't have to give full access and he can still get whatever info the rep is sending out.</p>
<p>But if you "friend" someone, don't they have access to everything? I know he has it on private so that only friends have access to his page.</p>
<p>Have a lot of your kids gotten these requests? Pretty smart, I think.</p>
<p>It feels inappropriate to me for a college rep to try to "friend" a prospective student. There are so many reasons.</p>
<p>A lot of those reps are recent college grads, so communicating through facebook is natural for them. And smart kids should not have anything compromising on their pages anyway.</p>
<p>BTW, it is now "hip" for professors to have facebook accounts too, and most students think that it is "cool", and happily friend their professors.</p>
<p>If you go into "Settings" you can customize who sees what. My kids do have some adults who can see part of their facebook pages but not all; like one of their coaches. It's very good for communication.</p>
<p>What's the student's gut instinct? </p>
<p>I love interacting with students on their terms, so if they want to chat or ask questions online instead of calling/emailing, that's fine, but I don't initiate the contact. I let the students decide how they'll let me into their "space" (if that makes sense).</p>
<p>For what it's worth, I don't have any current or prospective student "friends" on Facebook.</p>
<p>My D was "friended" by the college rep of a school that was heavily pursuing her (she didn't end up going there). She and her cousin (also being pursued by the same school) laughed that they felt like they were being "stalked".<br>
This rep even looked at D's photos on her Facebook page and commented on one where D was wearing the free t-shirt the school sent her!! As soon as D and nephew selected other schools, they de-friended her. She was young (her first job - trying to attract NMFs to the school) and very nice. I am sure that it was as others have said - just a natural way to communicate.</p>
<p>Since someone else can post a photo and tag your student, if your son accepts a friend request, have your son set his privacy settings to custom and set the photos and videos and maybe even his wall to exclude this person. It's not what your son has on his facebook. But some friend could post on his wall or tag a photo or video that would be innocent or out of context, but could look inappropriate. Have your son also exclude anything like bumper stickers etc. You can go in and set just about anything to exclude individuals so they see less of your facebook than real friends.</p>
<p>I'm "friends" with the admissions counselor who was responsible for my high school's area. I also have her on AOL instant messenger and even have her cell phone number in my phone. I haven't talked to her in awhile, but I used to talk to her all the time leading up to college and the first semester or so.</p>
<p>Okay so on facebook, to break it down for those of you who don't use it, you can break down all of your friends into specific groups and then customize settings for what each group can see. For example, when I was an RA for a high school summer program this past summer, I made a facebook group specifically desiged for all the kids who friended me and I limited their access. Currently, my facebook is about as innocent as it gets. No incriminating pictures of me exist(because I don't do incriminating things)--no worries about anyone putting them up, but it's nice to have ppl set to specific groups in case, for any reason, I ever do end up with questionable content. </p>
<p>Just have your son create a group for situations like this and stick the rep in it.</p>
<p>I would accept the rep as a friend, but limit his/her access. If you don't the rep may think you have something to hide.</p>
<p>I think in order to tag a student in a picture, the student to be tagged has to agree, no? If this isn't true, that could be a definite problem!</p>
<p>^^ No, you don't have to agree to be tagged, you just get a notification that you've been tagged. But if you untag yourself then you can't be tagged again.</p>
<p>Will colleges consider a student who doesn't Facebook a loser?</p>
<p>I can understand that young career people may use Facebook as a daily and typical way to communicate. I would want my kids to think very carefully before "friending" an admissions rep or potential employer. Facebook's format is by nature very casual and spontaneous, reflecting moods and daily activities and concerns. It is a social network. I know that my sons do not use Facebook to post achievements or accomplishments, beyond passing their driver's test. My 16-year-old can handle a lot, but is he going to be fastidious about customizing settings? It would be easy for him to get casual/sloppy with settings, and have other kids post damaging material on his wall. Even spontaneous messages posted by friends containing curse words can be damaging. Heck, my son could even post his own damaging material without realizing he was doing so. </p>
<p>What could an admissions rep gain by having access to potential applicants' Facebook pages? What could a potential applicant gain in this arrangement? Is it really that difficult to communicate via email or phone?</p>
<p>The Facebook term is "friend." Is the admissions rep a friend? </p>
<p>Right now, I liken Facebook access by a student's admissions rep or potential employer as similar to the difference between one's personal and business email accounts. How many times have people sent out a casual or spontaneous email on their business account that swung around to hurt them or were received differently than intended?</p>
<p>if you're not on Facebook, you don't exist ;)</p>
<p>nngmm -- of course I know that is generally what many teens think but for various, well thought out reasons, my daughter has very deliberately decided not to use facebook/my space. This of course makes her "diffferent" but she still has a social life......just wondering if admissions officers would make incorrect assumptions as a result. Perhaps naively didn't think facebook would be a question on any college apps.</p>
<p>I used to think my kids didn't go on facebook, too.</p>
<p>I have mixed feeling about this.</p>
<p>On the plus side, this is a great way to keep your name in the college rep's mind. When s/he sees your ap, it'll ring a bell -- "oh, that's my Facebook friend." If you have questions, it's an easy way to get them answered. </p>
<p>OTOH, the rep could see things you don't want to be seen. You'll have to be careful about your status updates, tagged pictures, etc. And if this rep ends up friending dozens, or hundreds of students, s/he's not going to keep track of them all.</p>
<p>The term "friend" on Facebook is pretty loose. Some people friend everyone, others are more discriminating.</p>