<p>My kids just took all of the schools that ended up costing more than what we said could pay off the table without a word or glance and focused on the other choices. It did hurt me, however. We could have done it but not without hurting other parts of the whole financial picture that was already pretty beat up.</p>
<p>We don’t have to judge the families’ ability to pay–the colleges did that. $200,000 is a substantial amount of income. Well, maybe there are more kids in the family.</p>
<p>But I’m basically with OperaDad on this one.</p>
<p>Divorce could be a big factor and if the father remarried with a new set of family. Still 200k in NC, that sounds pretty wealthy to me. Maybe it is just me, OP does not come across as very entitled. He may have a little unrealistic and potentially overly romantic ideas about places far away from his home state like Boston, but that is not unusual for a lot of people and other young persons. I think people can be quite harsh and a little unforgiving at times here.</p>
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My DS1 did this as well. I think it may be harder for DS2 as he has stronger preferences. DS1 was quite pragmatic and didn’t allow himself to “fall in love” with any school or location until all the cards were on the table.</p>
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<p>I don’t understand this. There’s no mystery as to which schools do and do not require non-custodial parent financial information. None - each of the colleges states its requirement for NCP data (or lack of such requirement) upfront. So the OP thought maybe an exception would be made in his or her case?</p>
<p>The net price calculators from each of these schools must have shown the OP what his or her chances were of getting financial aid . . . but the OP nonetheless retained a “glimmer of hope”?</p>
<p>Look, I get it. Fifty years ago, the OP’s parents, with comparable income, likely would have been able to afford the full cost of the OP’s education at the college of his or her choice. And it sucks that that’s no longer the case. But this isn’t a change that happened overnight. It’s been decades in the making. So it’s more than a bit disingenuous for the OP to feign surprise that things turned out the way they did. It was the only outcome that could reasonably have been expected. You may not like the fact that a family at your income level can no longer afford the cost of college . . . but ignoring that fact doesn’t make it go away.</p>
<p>Bottom line is that your outstanding performance in high school suggests that you can perform equally well in college - regardless of what school you attend. And, despite your dreams of private school, you had the good sense to apply to two affordable state schools. Yes, if you’d been born in a different era, you might have more choices. But here and now, your future looks good.</p>
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<p>Um, UNC is the most “elite” school the OP has been admitted to. If the parents say to go to UNC instead of BC, they are sharing their “blessings” of wisdom.</p>
<p>FAFSA isn’t a joke. It’s just an app to find out what fed aid a person might qualify for. The aid is from TAXpayers. Why should taxpayers, who earn a LOT less than your family, be providing for YOUR aid? </p>
<p>Think about it. Many average income families can’t afford those schools, so why should their tax dollars go towards your attendance at such schools?</p>
<p>As for your stats, you could have used those at schools that give large assured merit for stats (without ANY consideration of need). There are schools that would have given you free tuition…no matter how much your parents earn.</p>
<p>“Some of gods greatest gifts are unanswered Prayers”…Your frustration is understandable and you have done your venting. Time to move on and make the best decision based on the realistic options left for you. You are sure to find out exactly what the purpose of this struggle means for you. </p>
<p>DS is one who would trade places with you for IS Tuition to NC state.</p>
<p>mom2collegekids:
—As for your stats, you could have used those at schools that give large assured merit for stats (without ANY consideration of need). There are schools that would have given you free tuition…no matter how much your parents earn.—</p>
<p>The OP was 1380/1600 (670 CR, 710 M). Good numbers, but not many good schools would offer full tuition for his SATs these days. </p>
<p>UNC is an awesome school.</p>
<p>*There is a difference between “can’t” and “are not willing”. Someone who’s parents make $50,000/yr are “can’t”. For parents who make $200k/yr, they have other priorities, and “are not willing”. </p>
<p>What if your parents all of a sudden had their income drop to $100k/yr? I’m sure they would figure out a way to live in that budget. Ergo, they could figure out a way to pay $50,000/yr a lot quicker than a million years.</p>
<p>I’m guessing they could borrow $200k against the home and pay it off over 20 years.*</p>
<p>It sounds like the fact that the parents are divorced is the main cause of the problem. $200k for 2 households is NOT the same as $200k for one. And the above suggestion to “borrow” against the home isn’t going to work. Whose home? the mom’s? The dad’s? And, how do we know that “mom” or “dad” has that much equity? This is a divorced family…often one side doesn’t emerge with lots of equity since one side has to “buy out” the other. And, even if one side did have the equity in a home, it would put the entire burden onto ONE parent.</p>
<p>the error was not making financial and affordabilities prior to the app process so that a good strategy could have been used when making the app list. </p>
<p>We do NOT know the circumstances. Dad may earn $150k, but he may have to pay child support or he may still be suffering from the costs of divorce. A home may have been sold at a loss.</p>
<p>For people to be criticizing the parents or to be making suggestions that really don’t apply well to divorced parents, is a bit ridiculous.</p>
<p>OP - your dreams didn’t get squashed - they just got moved four years forward! Go to UNC happy - it is a great school and having parents that aren’t struggling to pay your tuition makes the whole family happier - maybe there will even be money for things like study abroad or a sorority or even a car - those things might never happen if you went to a private school. Then…move to Boston when you graduate! What a fun city to be a young professional in…or go to grad school. Never give up on your dreams…just realize you are choosing to do what is right for you now and enjoy that fact that you are going to UNC - a school most kids would be envious of!</p>
<p>We are not divorced and make something close to that. But the FAFSA doesn’t see that: We cannot afford to own a home in our community because you need at least 100K saved up for down payment, and we are not able to do it. Commute expenses for me to work 38 miles away are easily $900/month (not a job that can be duplicated closer to home and we live close to DH’s work by necessity). We are supporting my adult step-son with Asperger’s and his mom. My husband is nearly 65 and his retirement was wiped out about five years ago due to employer fraud – and he has a bad heart condition. I realize that $200K looks like a LOT in income, but if you live in places like San Francisco or New York or Los Angeles, it isn’t as much as you’d think. </p>
<p>I would love to be able to pay $40K/year for my daughter to go to her dream school (she did get some merit money, which in our case seems to be needs-blind). But that means that when DH retires, we will be living on my income and his social security, which isn’t all that much here. Maybe next year we’d qualify for more aid once he retires, but when we will be paying at least $800/month when he loses his employer health insurance, and he loses all the employer life insurance, etc., that $40K will make a huge difference to us. And none of it shows up on FAFSA. The CSS didn’t seem to help us all that much, either.</p>
<p>I am working with my daughter to understand that this is HER education…and we won’t be paying back those loans, SHE will be. Our goal was to have her graduate with less than $20K in loans, but even going to our in-state University of California is going to cost $30K/year…not much of a bargain. </p>
<p>My kid deserves a good education as a reward for her hard work…but please don’t jump to the conclusion that those of us in that salary range are “wealthy” or that we don’t want to pay for our kids’ education. I would love to…but I would also like to not be destitute in my retirement which isn’t all that far away. Right now I work two jobs to bring us to a place where we are able to save some retirement money. Can’t take out loans for retirement!</p>
<p>Hello Buildadog</p>
<p>I congratulate you for all your efforts and the results you have produced. There is nothing wrong in applying to schools that you want to go to. You did everything right what you could do. Rest of the process is not in your control - so don’t waste your energy on it. </p>
<p>At least going thru this process is in itself a valuable education. Trust me you have learnt a lot and it will serve you well some day. Make sure you go to the school that you can afford and do the same thing all over again with same attention to detail and go to a good graduate school. Things will be lot different.</p>
<p>Good education isn’t always at the most expensive schools. It exists all around us. You have to make the best of the institution where you are. </p>
<p>Education has to lead to an enjoyable and gainful career. So make sure whatever you pursue has a focus. Be the best in whatever you do. Life will reward you. </p>
<p>Secondly get the needed education with least possible loans. Try to pay it forwards. Because it will hurt a lot and hurt for a long time, while retiring more then 200K (may be even more) in loans over a period of 10 to 15 years. With interest the 200 will cost you 350K or more. Consider not being able to pay for these expensive private colleges as blessing in disguise. </p>
<p>I wish you all the best. High quality candidates like you will enrich the institutions like NC state or Chapel hill. Remember you can apply for scholarships and FA every year when you are in the school. Make connections and try transfer if a better FA comes along.</p>
<p>Just wanted to say “good luck” to you buildadog. You will be fine and I’m sure you will have a bright future wherever you end up. Keep your chin up…I admire your thick skin with taking all the brutal/unnecessary comments posted by others who seem to be taking their fustrations with their own financial situation out on you.</p>
<p>First of all I want to state that IMO that remark, “My sympathy to you for having parents that do not value their children enough to share in the blessings they have been given. Blessings in having children smart and driven enough to get into elite schools, and blessings in wealth.” has mean spiritedness in it towards families like me, and to me personally. It is very small minded to believe that a family that has the finances to be ABLE to pay large amounts for college or for anything, and feels that other priorities affecting said families are more important to the continued well being of the family does not value their child enough. Sharing the blessings that a family has, in terms of finances means making a lot of weighted choices and paying for a private, sleep away college education that will total up to a quarter million dollars is a luxury option and may not be the wisest choice for many families. Going to such colleges, or going away to college is not the be all to end all, and it is a big problem that it is being positioned as such to students and families. That statement pretty much sums up a fundamental problem in the way we look at college choices and the entitlement we are creating in students. Anyone who makes a blanket statement like that is insulting and narrow minded in this aspect as they are not taking into account the many things in life that are important to judge when making financial decision, especially ones of this magnitude. </p>
<p>Having said all of that, yes, making $200K a year is a lot of money. I don’t care where you live or have to live. That is a big income figure. Look at what the average income is in this country, in your state, in your area, and there is no arguing that it is a lot of money. With limited aid funds, you can expect to be waaay back in line for any help, or any sympathy about “not being able to afford anything”. However, affording a $60K education a year is a true luxury. More of a luxury than buying a Mercendes. Akin to buying one each year for 4 is more like it. Regardless of what ones needs are, unless they are medical needs which then are something to be brought to the table, those making that kind of money are going to hard pressed to make a case that they are netting less than those making half of what they are, with six figure incomes being a lot of money. To say otherwise, is an insult to the many families eking by on less. Look at what the average incomes are in this country.</p>
<p>Having that kind of money means one CAN support needy relatives, take care of ones health better, put money away for retirement so that ones standard of living does not plummet when that happens. One big problem with the financial aid formula is that it heavily uses a snap shot picture of current income with no allowance for past income/ But then the contribution so derived is just for one year too. I don’t see a better way of doing this for all of the problems of high cost area, bad luck and low earnings in prior years,. The money is not there to meet full need for even those who truly have little or no money, the ones who financial situation is like the proverbial stone one cannot squeeze for water. Those in upper income bracket like $200K are literally sponges leaking with water, and the process is not about to asses where it goes. it just measure the water in there. </p>
<p>In this particular case, the idea that the student should get a choice between a private school that is going to cost well over a quarter million dollars, when a school deemed as good or even better by many ratings and those in the know and who assess these sort of thing, is not being valued, by his parents is absurd. It might be a more important lesson on the uses of money to take the less expensive option. What one can do with the differences in cost is mind boggling–contributing it to a truly needy family or to causes where funds go to those in heart wrenching need, could make ever so much difference to those. But opportunities in travel, investment, future education, oh the place one can go the things one can do with the differential are amazing.</p>
<p>Just want to say I know exactly how you feel OP. Got accepted to Dartmouth and Cornell, but my parents don’t feel like they are worth the money. I am extremely disappointed because they were very willing to pay for my tuition if I had gotten into Harvard, Yale, or Princeton but now they’re pushing me to go to instate to Uconn to save money.</p>
<p>Grass: If you had the brains to get into Cornell undergrad, you should also have the brains to get into Cornell for grad or prof school. Save your debt capacity - your grad or professional school may mean more in the end.</p>
<p>If it makes you feel any better, at least you can go to school. By the looks of it, I might not be able to go to college because of my financial situation.</p>
<p>I just think the OP’s priorities are off a bit. With the exception of JHU, UNC is the best of the bunch. I’d argue it’s better then JHU because of location. Why wouldn’t someone want to go to the best school at the best price? I’m biased because UNC was my dream school back in the day, but I couldn’t afford to go out of state. Why would anyone even consider Northeastern over UNC - makes no sense. The sky is Carolina blue for a reason!</p>
<p>I feel your pain. I don’t see how anyone can afford college these days. However, find a school that you like and that you can afford and do well… and there’s always graduate school.</p>