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I canât name 5 things
Since you have tried therapy before, did you discuss any social issues with your therapists? You shouldnât disclose your diagnosis or even what they told you here, as this is a very public forum, but did you try to take their advice?
Sometimes small steps are needed to make progress. Instead of trying to join the most popular or exclusive club, maybe look for one that is welcoming to all. Instead of trying to talk to the most outgoing person in the room, try striking up a conversation with the shy person in the corner. If you are a neurodiverse person, itâs easier to talk to people who are also neurodiverse because they can relate to your difficulties in a neurotypical world.
My autistic son has found through trial and error that the people he relates to best are also neurodiverse. They donât share the same disability but they all have a disability, and thus they have a common thread.
Lastly, please donât give up on therapy. Again you may have been misdiagnosed, which may be why it isnât working for you. Do you think itâs possible you may have mild autism? Here is a checklist I found for adult autism. Autism signs and characteristics checklist for adults | The Spectrum
Thank you for reaching out to everyone here. You arenât alone!
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I have always told my students that there is NO SUCH THING as âcanâtâ.
They were not allowed to use that word in therapy. There is such a thing as asking: âI need help to figure this outâ.
So, Iâm going to help you with @thumper1 's suggestion:
The five things I DID like about UCLA:
1.) I was good and strong enough to get into a school, where only a small percentage of students who apply, can actually get admitted. The school recognized that I was a top student. I will be graduating soon!
2.) I took a risk and put myself out there and sought out friends via clubs, frats, and activities. Competition was fierce, but I DID TRY even though Iâm still learning how to meet new people.
YOUR TURN:
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Well **** them. If they donât want you, then you donât need them. If your d***wad roommates called you a weirdo, then take that as a compliment. Being weird is the thing man. It means youâre unique and a non-conformist. Itâs probably what got you in to UCLA (on top of your genius status). Go find solace in other groups e.g., local game shop, a good MMO, on-line D&D group, Christian fellowship, Atheist fellowships, or whatever floats your boat.
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If youâre really struggling to find 5 things, I would highly recommend reading the book @MaineLonghorn suggested about positive thinking. 5 things could be as simple as
- The (blank) building or the (blank) in the (blank) building was really cool!
- (blank) class was a lot more interesting than I thought it would be.
- (blank) was a good professor, or at least he or she made me laugh.
- I really liked the (blank) that I wrote/coded/created.
- It was nice not having to walk on icy sidewalks in the freezing rain.
- I look good in blue and/or gold.
- Our mascot was really cute
- (blank) in the dining hall was good.
- (blank) looked beautiful during sunrises/sunsets
- (blank) is a really pretty place on campus.
- The rec center has great (blank)
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That doesnât make me feel better. I am still frustrated by my current life circumstances
Oh come on.
Weather? Food? Some of your classes? Strength of the university?
May I ask what your major is? Would it be possible for you to join or start a study group with some of your classmates? You would have a common interest from the get-go. Conversations could revolve around the area of study, which hopefully everyone is interested in.
Thereâs a lot of people here (and elsewhere) willing to help you, but as mentioned earlier you also need to help yourself. Itâs good you are attempting to meet people. It shows you have initiative and are more extroverted than introverted. Since what you have done in the past hasnât worked, maybe ask someone you trust to give you feedback. One of my mantras is that if you do the same thing over and over again, you shouldnât expect different results. Change will do you good, my friend!
Hello, I rarely chimed in and just happen to stumble upon this conversation while reading about college applications(kiddos are young).
Want to give you a sunny day HUG and say good for you for reaching out. Let the crowd help and cheer you up, although online youâve found people who care! Practice smile and positive thoughts, I hope things will improve!
This is a classic red flag and unfortunately CC is not the perfect place to find answers to it. Youâve been given lots of suggestions. The best one was probably to go back to your GP for testing and a referral. I am thankful for your post; it did shed a lot of light on UCLA . I have a nephew who will be graduating from h/s in Cali in a few years and I would hate for him to think that his only choices are narrowed down to a handful of UCs or following his older brother (who is a completely different person) to UCLA.
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I love this! and what @aunt_bea said, it is always good to practice a positive, sunny outlook. I do this with kids too.
Sometimes the world feels so bleak but we canât let our mind controls and consumed by it. OP, I hope that eventhough it may seem hard to look at things differently, please just practice and try.
My college years was not very pleasant either, it was challenging for my younger self but it did get better. Back then there was no groups/help or maybe there was but I didnât even know how to begin. Hang in there! You will also graduate from an enviable place(a positive thing) I hope opportunity will start coming in.
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Oddly enough, your post comes at decision time. Additionally, what was your major? And what clubs were you interested in?
I donât think there was any nefarious intention. It could be that the timing of being just a few months from graduation without a job offer that led to the despair.
OP: hang in there. Your hard work will not be for nothing. Some of the advice offered here are spot on and I hope you do try to focus on the positives in your life. It is important not to feel like a victim and feel resentful. Acknowledge that things did not turn out the way you wanted and focus on what you can control starting today.
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Good point, I can see why the OP might be a real person after I read all the posts and the OPâs interaction, but why doesnât the OP answer what clubs he/she wanted to join and what his/her major was when this person was asked a good three times? Getting a job might be the solution to OP feeling better about him/herself. (And I guess I should apologize for using the binary pronouns.)
All the best to you @tossthrower , Iâll be rooting for you! But take the othersâ advice so you can proceed to healing! If youâd answer what your major is and what clubs rejected you, there might be some good recommendations for you. Thank you.
It may be that the OP is worried about doxxing himself. Identifying the major and clubs might be enough for someone on campus to decipher who the OP is, and the OP may not wish to be outed about this situation.
It doesnât matter how likely any of us think that might be. There is a non-zero chance that it might happen, and maybe the OP wishes to avoid that possibility.
Besides, I think good advice can be extended without knowing the major or specific clubs.
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A post was split to a new thread: College Decision Dilemma