I don’t believe this is true.
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That sounds like a difficult situation. You might want to review why you think this happened and what you can do to improve in the future. For example, you might ask someone who knows you that you trust about what you might be doing that may put persons off. You might go the career center and ask someone there to do a practice interview, giving feedback about what can improved. They can also help with jobs after graduating.
I noticed that your first posts speaks in both 1st and 3rd person (said “he” twice). Are you native to the US? If not, there may be groups on campus that focus on persons from your location or ethnicity, which may be more accepting.
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It is true. The mental health services don’t provide any metal issues testing
A lot of people seem to be dismissing me, but people kept telling me college should have been a much better experience than high school. People kept telling me even if you were socially awkward and lonely in high school, you will probably make friends in college. Most of my peers easily made friends. None of that happened to me. It really makes me feel like there is something wrong with me.
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You have one more quarter right?
Try the Enigma club:
https://www.enigmaatucla.com/About-Us.ejs
Music and meditation club:
Profs and peeks club:
Writer’s Den:
And others!
It’s never too late to make friends! Actually just try to make acquaintances first. And go from there!
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Sometimes, it’s not that “you” screwed up. It’s that your expectations for what you think a good life should be aren’t realistic for your specific identity and reality. You’re young. You have certain expectations from media, society, and peers/family about what a happy successful life for a person your age should be.
The reality is, what makes a happy successful life for Person X may be an unhappy life for person J. Take a close look at what really makes you happy in your day to day life. Take a realistic look at the things that make you unhappy. Sometimes, those two things don’t align with what you think might make you happy.
If you had few (or no) close friends in high school, it’s not very unusual to continue to have few (or no) close friends in college. The thing is, you graduated high school and moved on to the next stage of life. And you will graduate college and move on to the next stage of life. Remember, not everyone’s journey is the same as what you may think the majority’s journey is.
Keep moving forward. Maintain your awareness of who your are, what your situation is, and be mindful of small ways you can improve yourself in ways you see fit. You may never be the life of the party. You may never have hundreds of people hankering to be your best friend or accompany you to the ball. But you can have a happy successful life and find a lot of joy, as long as you are true to yourself.
The difficult part, sometimes, is being honest with yourself about who you are, and what truly makes you happy.
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I worked with a number of students on the spectrum, at my high school for ~10 years. What I found was that a number of them wondered why they needed to see me.
I tried to be gentle and discuss their social "awkwardness’ in dealing with their peers. A number of them wouldn’t accept what I explained. They felt that they weren’t the problem, and that everyone else had the issues.
I explained commonalities that most teens had. It was eye-opening for them because they didn’t realize a number of issues, that they did, which annoyed others around them.
What helped, a lot, was working in small groups. We did a lot of role-playing and they really liked reading plays/scripts that had social themes. What I discovered is that what I considered “off-putting”/rude, some of my students didn’t think so-I had to explain what was rude. I had to show social distancing and how far away we had to be near others- in lunch lines at school, etc.
The social scripts were often self-explanatory but my students often wanted to discuss some things that didn’t make sense to them. Compliments were a difficult concept to understand and give. Gestures and facial expressions were difficult.
I started a social “club” at lunch, once a week, (invited our classroom aides and ordered pizza) and showed them them all how to play card games. My students liked playing “21” for points, but they gloated a little too much at times, and that’s where the aides were good about showing them how to win “gracefully”. Each group ended up being very supportive of their peers. We had our aides on sports teams that asked their coaches to bring them onto the teams, in one way or another. Our students grew exponentially being in tennis, swim, and track/field.
I think you should ask your parents for help regarding recommendations through your primary care physician and his/her recommendations for therapists that work with groups. Every group is very different. You can’t expect what I did with my students, to work in an adult group. The card games may or may not work. The script readings may or may not work, but that’s what you have to ask.
Just take it one step at a time. Little by little. It doesn’t go fast. It’s a lifestyle change and it takes time.
Good luck. We hope to hear back.
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OP, I’m so sorry you’re having a hard time in college. I know you have not had much luck with therapy, but it’s possible that you have been misdiagnosed. Perhaps that’s why nothing has worked for you? Please do get another diagnosis.
I have a child who was misdiagnosed from a young age and only a few years ago was rediagnosed with mild autism (formerly known as Asperger’s). It all makes sense. He struggles with social situations. I am wondering if you generally try to interact with people or do you avoid interacting with people? When you interact with people, do they reciprocate interest? If you generally avoid people, you may have social anxiety.
A social skills class led by a therapist can help. My son improved his social skills with this type of program. It’s not a miracle worker, but he did learn to moderate his motor movements and engage in more two-way conversation. He still has trouble making eye contact, but in general he’s made progress.
I hope you can find something that will help you. Keep in mind that therapy is a two-way street. No matter your diagnosis, therapy can only do so much. You are going to have to help yourself as well. Sometimes making progress can be uncomfortable, but you have to keep moving forward. Having gotten into UCLA, you obviously possess very desirable qualities, but you must be able to see your faults as well and work through them. Hope this helps!
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I didn’t see the post from aunt_bea just before mine. That is the kind of therapy I was referring to and is usually offered to ASD kids and others with disorders that impact socialization.
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I do try to interact with people, but they never reciprocate interest. Like when I try to talk to people in the dorms, they just call me a weirdo and make fun of me behind my back. During rush, I just got rejected. I do get nervous trying to meet new people, but it never ends well anyways
Well, that was NOT okay on their part. No one should be made to feel ill at ease.
That’s classless, rude, and mean.
Those people needed some classes in appropriate behaviors.
As for your other comments, everyone has some nervousness upon meeting new people. You can develop your skills but you need to take it one step at a time and practice . You have already achieved a lot by becoming eligible to graduate from a top US university. You should be proud of that and use it to develop your next skills set. You can do this!
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Well, if I am being socially isolated by students who are also at a top university, then there is something wrong with me
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Something wrong with you is the wrong mindset. Think of it as a skill set that you still need to learn. Many people find social skills easy, you don’t. There’s nothing wrong with that. You got into a top university! You have skills that 90, 95% of people don’t have. Everyone has their strengths.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t learn social skills. I had no idea those group sessions described above existed. They sound wonderful. I hope you could find some in your area.
You have your whole life ahead of you. You can learn and get better.
Also make you sure you taking care of yourself physically, and finding things you enjoy doing. It’s never too late to find hobbies. I recently found some new ones and I’m in my 50s.
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I think you need to take five minutes and think of five things you actually liked about UCLA. Any five things!!
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Yes, that’s an excellent point about strengths. I am good at math. I SUCK at anything physical. But that doesn’t mean I don’t keep trying. I did an online bike ride today. I finished almost last out of 550 riders! I don’t say, “What’s wrong with me?” I’m happy I tried. And yes, people have literally laughed at me. I’ve been told I run funny. In 7th grade, my PE teacher told me I should lose weight so I could do gymnastics better. Etc.! That’s just life. We can’t be good at everything. I concentrate on doing what I’m good at but don’t give up on activities outside my comfort zone. You can’t control how others react to you. All you can control is your own behavior. And yes, I think you should keep looking for a counselor who is a good fit instead of giving up on it. You will be miserable if you keep concentrating on “what’s wrong with me.”
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Not to be misunderstood, people lacking social skills are NOT automatically autistic… bur because OP has been in therapy for a while, they likely have a diagnosis of some sort already. Misdiagnoses happen, more often than people think.
OP, please ask your primary care physician to screen you for autism and anxiety. It is not too late, and there is help out there! Perhaps you were looking for it in the wrong places. Wishing you well!
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Please ask your primary care physician to refer you to someone who can accurately diagnose any issue you might have…likely a neuropsych.
And in the meantime…start thinking positive. I’m waiting for those five things you DID like about UCLA…any five things.
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Yes. They will have to go through their PCP first. The PCP will ask some questions, then refer OP to a psychologist for further evaluation.
OP, don’t underestimate the power of positive thinking 
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When I was a teenager, my mom was concerned about me because I was so pessimistic. She got me a copy of “The Power of Positive Thinking.” I couldn’t tell you a thing written in the book, but it really struck me that Mom cared enough to get that book for me, so I decided to change my attitude. It really did change my life. I’ve gone through some very tough things as an adult, but I always try to find the silver lining.
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I maintained a positive mindset through college. Even after being rejected by other peers and being mistreated by others, I still had hope because people like you told me to have hope. This isn’t the first time I asked for help when I was struggling, but every single time, people told me it will get better and that you will be happy in the end.
That didn’t happen. It didn’t happen in my childhood, and it didn’t happen in college