<p>one of two things is going to happen within the next year, haute
you’re going to continue being like that, openly belligerent towards alcohol and partying thereby limiting your options and alienating a certain group of people based solely on something they like to do that you (think you) don’t
or
you’re going to come to your senses and be a normal person, not caring about what other people do and judging individuals on a case by case basis rather than creating an imaginary “us” and “them” dichotomy </p>
<p>anyway, OP, you should do the second. you will make friends and some of them (gasp) will probably party. you’ll have to deal with “them”! like, ALL THE TIME.</p>
<p>Haute, I can’t wait for you to get to college LOL. I wonder if people will want to deal with “your kind of people” – judgmental pricks. Drinking happens. Sex happens. If two people are drunk and having safe sex with each other (IE: aren’t having sex with you), then you judging them is stupid. It’s not like they’re ****ing on the couch next to you.</p>
<p>To the OP, the way to make friends while avoiding partying is to be open and non-judgmental, unless you really think the person you’re judging is putting you or others in danger. You’re going to meet a lot of “different” people in college.</p>
Oh, I thought it was human nature to get drunk, to sleep around, you know, since we are “social creatures”. Your blatant hypocrisy is baffling. </p>
<p>
You are perfectly fine with people judging you based on your psychological issues? If not, stop being such a hypocrite.</p>
<p>The irony of it all is: you’re not really much of a likable person, and then you were preaching not too long ago about the “value” of having friends.</p>
<p>The reality is that shallow, plastic “friends” have connections. They are great for networking because everyone knows them. On the other hand, socially inept freaks won’t get you anywhere. You don’t need quality friends right now… you need doushbags so you can practice back-stabbing.</p>
<p>I can’t speak for Haute, but my dislike for partying (I’m still in HS) stems from the fact that I can’t succeed in that environment. I’m skinny, awkward and I probably know more Star Wars characters than professional athletes. Why would you recommend that someone like me go to a party only to be chastised for being there? Don’t try and tell me that people are “accepting.” I know from experience that they aren’t.</p>
<p>I only wish there were good ways of introducing yourself to people without pretending that those sorts of things are fun for you. I think the OP’s qualms may be similar to my own (I dunno, he/she might prefer Star Trek… ) and none of these posts are helping to solve the aforementioned issue.</p>
<p>Don’t tell me that getting sloshed every other night is a stop on the way to adulthood. I doubt that there’s any real semblance of partying at places like UChicago, BYU or the military academies. <—Three types of people right there, all self-actuated, and they did it without partying. </p>
<p>How can you make that work at any given college? That’s the question.</p>
stopped reading there
please, people, if you haven’t partied in college don’t just completely reject it. not all parties are frat parties. it’s like you guys think that at every party there are 50 blonde sorority girls 100 6’6 tall frat boys and then you.
oh and for the record i know absolutely nothing about professional sports, i’m 5’8 and 130, but if i never TRIED and put myself out there then i wouldn’t have made friends the way i did. you don’t have to party in college, but rejecting the entire concept and making all these assumptions while you’re still in high school is really, really stupid and a sign of insecurity.
i hope you realize you’re shooting yourself down before you even give yourself a chance.</p>
<p>EDIT: oh and i also never partied until college. so there’s that for you</p>
<p>I think this is probably a lot of the reason why you don’t like it, which is okay. It’s possible that part of the reason you don’t like drinking/loud music is because you associate those things with the uncomfortable situations.</p>
<p>You can definitely still make friends (though your chance will vary depending on what kind of college you’re going to).</p>
<p>Most of the people that worry about making friends don’t end up not making any. The larger concern is not that there won’t be people there you will like, or people who like to do the types of things you like to do - there will be plenty of people compatible with you- it’s that you wont be social enough, i think. So my advice is to be as social as you can be.</p>
<p>I don’t drink or party either. Mostly because I was never exposed to the partying scene while I was in high school. honestly, it’s your choice. and if you hate partying solely because you don’t drink, there’s no rule against going to a party with a group of friends and just hanging out and not drinking. I’m still a little iffy about going to parties myself, but I’m 104% sure that there will be at least 1 or 2 people who think the same way that you do, and won’t want to party. And even your friends that do go to parties, sometimes good friends will stay behind and hang out with you. But again it’s your choice. Maybe you can try it and if you don’t like it you don’t have to go back.</p>
<p>that question was answered by me earlier in the thread, which is why i addressed your self-doubt. and people do party at UChicago, don’t know about the others you mentioned.
i think everyone’s answered everything the OP has asked so i’m now replying to other posts. that should’ve been clear</p>
<p>I am not still in highschool. I haven’t been for 2 years. I just am starting college a little late. I know all about the party scene and found out that I am just the type of person that dislikes it from experience. </p>
<p>I was just worried that I wouldn’t make many friends because of it. Didn’t want to start a fight.</p>
<p>I would expect nothing less from the place that’s endearingly called “Where Fun Goes to Die.”</p>
<p>I’ll take your word for partying in college since, as you point out, I haven’t been there. But if it’s anything like the movies (or high-school), I don’t want it.</p>
<p>Out of respect for the OP, I will now retire to my bed chamber.</p>
dude, you know when you make friends, you guys can have your OWN parties right? last year me and some friends had a couple people over, maybe 10 of us total, and played a drinking game to return of the jedi and then played kings cup. oh CC, not all parties are frat parties…</p>
<p>for YOU it might have been really stupid had you done this (and looking retrospectively at things gives you even more ammunition for this claim), but for some people rejecting the entire concept is the RIGHT decision.</p>
<p>What would make it a right decision? If going to a party would have made their life worse. For some people this IS the case, this is what happens, trying it results in more suffering in their life, etc. Some people know themselves enough to realize they have an extremely low probability of having a good time at a party (and probably a large probability of having a bad time).</p>
<p>In SOME cases it might be a sign of insecurity I guess, but it is not accurate to make such generalizations about what making those assumptions means about the person.</p>
<p>Some assumptions can be very well informed. While making unfounded assumptions might be a sign of stupidity making informed ones is not. The merit of an assumption depends on the person who is making it (you have to take into account who they are). You can’t say “these assumptions” mean one thing about people - i.e. that the person is really stupid or insecure; they mean different things about different people.</p>
<p>If I am allergic to peanuts, then it might be wise for me to assume there are peanuts in certain things. If I am not allergic to peanuts then those assumptions wouldn’t make any sense.</p>
<p>In the same way, it might be wise for Wiscongene to assume things it would be unwise for you to assume.</p>
<p>[What would make it a right decision? If going to a party would have made their life worse. For some people this IS the case, this is what happens, trying it results in more suffering in their life, etc. Some people know themselves enough to realize they have an extremely low probability of having a good time at a party (and probably a large probability of having a bad time).
[/quote]
</p>
<p>This is of course if he/she wants to assume that all college parties are beer-guzzling sausage fests where you have to drink or ■■■■. Which they are, of course, not.</p>
<p>You can argue about assumptions all you want, but the only way to overcome assumptions is to prove them right or wrong. You won’t DIE from going to a party (unless something tragic occurs…but let’s not get smart here). If someone tries to force you a drink or makes you uncomfortable, then leave. After that point, it’s understandable that one wouldn’t want to go to a party, but the beauty of parties is that they’re so diverse…the word “party” can be used to describe hundreds of people in a basement playing BP, and can also describe a group of 10 people cooking dinner and playing card games. I believe that everyone can benefit from parties, they just have to figure out what type of party appeals to them and also figure out what type of company they would like to surround themselves with. And tbh, the opportunity to discover this isn’t as accessible in HS, where most high schoolers with the opportunity to throw a party lean towards the beery/cliquey side of throwing parties rather than the open and welcoming environment that college students seeking new friendships usually go for.</p>
<p>Okay your points are good. I guess if your not satisfied with your social life then its probably a good idea to at least try going to some parties.</p>
<p>However, if you’re completely content already then of course there’s no need.</p>
uhh… yeah i did. high school students know nothing about parties in college, so they can’t say they like or dislike them - they should give them a chance. that was my point.
the insecurity part was a little overboard, though. but it was more of a shot in the dark and an attempt to get my message across.
this forum has a really different dynamic from most forums, heh</p>
<p>Okay, thanks for the nice response. yeah, I kind of think that it’s in most people’s best interest to give parties a chance. If people are satisfied already I don’t see a reason why they should though, unless they’re bored or looking for something novel to do, etc.; but then in that case they wouldn’t be satisfied.</p>
<p>I’m curious how you think the dynamics are different :p.</p>
Are you attempting to imply that college parties are really just intellectual and stimulating get-togethers? Although I’ve never attended a college party, but I know full well that is further from the truth. Let’s face the fact: College parties are really just places for people to hook-up and get drunk. Rarely does intellectually stimulating conversations ever take place.</p>
) and none of these posts are helping to solve the aforementioned issue.</p>
But again it’s your choice. Maybe you can try it and if you don’t like it you don’t have to go back.</p>